University of Management and Technology

Report
“Happy Attitude”

Submitted to:
Sir Haroon

Submitted by:
Muhammad Abrar Naeem
ID: 081134-061
Muhammad Abu Bakar Asghar
ID: 070634-059
Rao Danyal
ID: 0118241-32
Major Sahab
ID: 084721-001

Date:
24 April 2009
 DEDICATION

Dedicated to our loving

PARENTS

Who not only supported us financially throughout

our education but gave us the strength of character

and our teachers especially

Sir Haroon

Acknowledgement

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With the thanks providence that we have come to other corner of the knowledge
and even then the point of satisfaction never comes to the end.

The report is almost never the product of single writer. The ideas of report
writing are usually attributable to others. This is all due to the illuminated
guidance of our teachers as they are the real pillars of academic career and we
can do nothing without their enlightened supervision and coaching.

We can never offer full return in the words of gratitude as what they have
coached us is immeasurable and that can never fathomed in the ocean of
knowledge.

It is with great pleasure and extreme feelings if obligation that we thank Sir
Haroon for providing constructive criticism and valuable suggestions during
our report.

However it is customary that we should have heart-fell thanks who have given
us valuable time in grooming towards the compilation of our report and go on
affording us precious channelization on different ocean especially.

This is to thank you, if you decide to have fun changing the world one person at
a time by starting with yourself and spreading the word.

Authors

Summary

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Living a happy, resilient and optimistic life is wonderful, and is also good for your health.
Being happy actually protects you from the stresses of life. Happiness is actually found in
everyone, increasing it is a way to make a life more wonderful and also healthier.

To be happy is relatively easy; just decide to be a happy person. Abraham Lincoln observed
that most people for most of the time can choose how happy or stressed, how relaxed or
troubled, how bright or dull their outlook to be. The choice is simple really, choose to be
happy. Being grateful is a great attitude. We have so much to be thankful for. Thank the taxi
driver for bringing you home safely, thank the cook for a wonderful dinner and thank the guy
who cleans your windows. Also thank the mailman for bringing you your mails, thank the
policeman for making your place safe and thank God for being alive
.
Manage your time. Time is invaluable and too important to waste. Time management can be
viewed as a list of rules that involves scheduling, setting goals, planning, creating lists of
things to do and prioritizing. . Laugh and laugh heartily every day. Heard a good joke? Tell
your friends or family about it. As they also say -'Laughter is the best medicine'.

Express your feelings, affections, friendship and passion to people around you. They will
most likely reciprocate your actions. Try not to keep pent up anger of frustrations, this is bad
for your health. Life isn’t the sweetest candy When you are contented with the job you have,
the way you look, with your family, your friends, the place you live in, your car, and all the
things you now have – truly, you know the answer to the question “how to be genuinely
happy.”

The importance of being happy is as important as breathing. Each individual deserves the
right to be completely happy. However, the society and the culture we live in today, it is
difficult to obtain such a wonderful way of thinking. Please, do not let anyone stop you from
thinking in such a delightful way. Remember to visualize a place, where you felt pure joy and
happiness.

Contents

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 1. Acknowledgement....................................................................................................3

2. Summary...................................................................................................................4

3. Introduction...............................................................................................................6

4. Findings.....................................................................................................................7

5. Conclusion............................................ ...................................................................16

6. Recommendations............................................ ........................................................20

7. Appendices............................................ ...................................................................24

8. References............................................ ....................................................................29

9. Index............................................ ............................................................................ 30

Introduction
Just be happy. Sounds too simplistic, doesn’t it? But, in actuality, we can have much more
happiness if we choose to consider things from a positive perspective. Everyone experiences

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the ups and downs of life. However, we can make a decision to dwell on the negative or
practice what the old saying says to do: When life gives you lemons, make lemonade! It
really boils down to your attitude and you have the ability to mould your attitude into any
shape you like.

For most people in prosperous nations happiness remains an elusive goal. Even though
"many measures of quality of life have risen since World War II, the number of people who
consider themselves happy remains flat," according to a U.S. News and World Report. In fact
today "people are 10 times as likely to suffer depression as those born two generations ago."
So what can we do to make ourselves happy? We can recognize that Abraham Lincoln was
absolutely right when he said: "Most people are about as happy as they make their minds up
to be." Happy people are not happy because they are endowed with the happiness gene--
although researchers tell us that accounts for about half of one's potential for happiness--
happy people are happy because they realize that happiness is something that they control by
doing certain things every day. Here are some tips:

• Ignore those who tell you that life is too difficult to be happy. What do they know?

• When you awaken each morning, be thankful for another day, even if it's raining.

• Smile at those you meet even if they don't return the favour.

• Don't borrow trouble. Each day has enough of its own.

• Don't allow trouble to bury you in its gray mire of sorrow.

• Don't give in to negative thinking.

• Be positive even when others are not. Refuse to give up on anything worth having or
doing.

• Do something you enjoy each day, even if it's just a walk in your neighbourhood.

• Whistle as you go through the day.

• Work at being happy because it's worth it.

You're human like everyone else and from time to time you need a little pick-me-up in your
decision to be happy. When you reach that stage, find someone else who has decided to be
happy. Join forces with him or her and march forward in your decision to be a happy person.

Simply Speaking,

A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances but rather a person with a
certain set of attitudes.

Choose today to just be happy-as much as it depends on you!

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 Findings
How does one acquire a happy attitude, when their life becomes a dark and scary cave? For
many it depends on what makes them happy, what satisfies their needs and what gets them
to the happy state; where they feel relaxed and composed. For me it’s spending time with my
girlfriend, reading, writing, music, meditation and running. Most of these activities are not
cost worthy, nor are they difficult to start.

There are many things in life that will get you down. However, realizing that they are not
permanent is important to understand. Choose one or two activities that satisfy you and do
them, whenever you are feeling down. In addition, if you are having a difficult time at work,
close your eyes for 3 minutes and visualize a place where you felt happy, maybe a vacation
you took not long ago, where you spent time with your loved one or loved ones.

The importance of being happy is as important as breathing. Each individual deserves the
right to be completely happy. However, the society and the culture we live in today, it is
difficult to obtain such a wonderful way of thinking. Please, do not let anyone stop you from
thinking in such a delightful way. Remember to visualize a place, where you felt pure joy and
happiness.

So here are nine things you can do that will make you happier:

1. Love what you do

I find it ironic that many people deny themselves the joy of their work. Somehow they
assume that work is a dirty four letter word and that they must escape it as soon and as fast as
possible so that they can get home and plop down in front of the TV. I suspect it is because
they have not found what they love to do. The key word here is love, not like; because once
you find what you love to do you will not ever have to "work" another day in your life.

2. Chase your dreams

Happiness is often a by-product of something that we are going after--something that juices
us. Think of children. When are they the happiest--about two weeks before the Christmas or
Hanukah holidays, or when they have ripped all the presents open? Once we have clearly
defined, specific fire in the belly goals we get turned on and we become happy. In other
words if your goal is to be happy--that's what many people in my seminars tell me--you won't
necessarily be happy. You get happy from travelling the journey or doing something that
improves the quality of someone else's life and yours. Chasing your dreams cranks up your
internal body chemistry to such an extent that it energizes you to achieve extraordinary
results and may even make you healthy. Want proof positive, read the incredible story of
Lance Armstrong, who after being diagnosed with an advanced form of testicular cancer and

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given no more than a 50% chance of survival, has won the Tour de France--cycling's most
prestigious and gruelling race--six times in a row.

3. Nourish an attitude of gratitude

A difficulty for many successful people is that they perpetually look up the mountain, never
down. To feel a sense of gratitude you must have goals--look up the mountain--and also take
the time to reflect on all that you have already achieved and accumulated--look down the
mountain. If you need a bit of help with this take advantage of the up-coming holiday season.
Instead of buying gifts for people who already have more than they will ever need, rally the
whole family and serve a meal at a homeless shelter. Or visit a third world country. For
example when I work in the Pacific Rim my sense of gratitude is always renewed. Typically
the client will book me in a five star hotel, which makes any of our five star hotels pale in
comparison. One of the hotels in Jakarta even had a marble driveway. Not concrete, not
flagstones--marble. When I looked out of my 29th story window I saw many other super-
modern high-rise buildings. I also saw garbage dump several blocks away swarming with
people, who were living on the dump in cardboard "houses" and foraging for food. Stop right
now, and be grateful for all the abundance, that surrounds you.

4. Love someone deeply

Barbara Streisand was absolutely right, "people who love people are the luckiest people in the
world." Start by developing a strong bond and lifetime relationship with a significant other. If
you don't have such a relationship make it one of your top three fire-in-the belly goals,
because such a partner becomes increasingly more important as you enter the later passages
of your life. Extend that same love to your family and your close friends. The greater your
circle of loving relationships, the greater your happiness.

5. Treat your "body mind" like a temple

That's what hard-core bench scientist Dr. Candance Pert calls our body and mind because her
work has unequivocally demonstrated that the mind and the body are one. And those thoughts
are things, things that manifest themselves in the body and in your life. So if you think "bad"
or negative thoughts then that will have a negative impact on your body. And of course the
reverse is true. Since the mind can have only one thought at a time, get in the habit of
monitoring your thoughts and self talk by asking: "is what I'm thinking about right now
negative?" If it is, it will move you away from happiness and optimum health. On the other
hand positive thoughts--like love, kindness and appreciation--will move you in a positive

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direction. This is so powerful that there is a whole new science that is concerned with this--
psychoneuroimmunology, or PNI for short.

6. Laugh more
Go ahead and laugh right now. Can't seem to get it going? Go to the bathroom, stick your
tongue out, wiggle your nose and make the silliest face you can possibly come up with and
get yourself to laugh. If you need more help join a laughing club, popularized in India. Or
consult with a "certified laughter leader." A good way to nurture this is to laugh more at you.
It will cause you to take yourself less serious--which is a great start because you are not
nearly as important as you think you are. Laughter has innumerable benefits, it turns on your
endorphins and other internal "drugs" that are far more powerful than anything that you can
ingest--legal or illegal.

7. Give more of what you want

A short cut to happiness is making other people feel happy. Why? Because life is like a
mirror--whatever you put in it--comes right back at you. Make people happy and you will be
happier. Hate people and you will live in a hateful world. Love people the way they are, and
you will experience more love. You catch my drift. Actually you already knew that, that's
why you are much more anxious to give a gift than get one. Happiness certainly does not
come from things. Otherwise the happiest people on earth would be lottery winners. They are
not. In fact they often become discouraged and depressed because they become obsessed with
"stuff," to the point that most lottery winners are broke three years after they have won the
jackpot. That is to say, the more stuff we have the more problems and stress we has.

8. Develop "learned optimism"

Prof. Marty Seligman who has had a tremendous influence on getting psychologist to focus
on the good--what he has dubbed "positive psychology"--wrote a powerful book of the same
title. His research has demonstrated that we can learn to be more optimistic by developing a
"positive explanatory style (PES)." The way you do that is by focusing on the good stuff,
especially when bad things happen to you. In other words you master the art of faking it until
you make it. Research has shown that people who have developed their PES are able to
evaluate "reality" more clearly--just the opposite of what most people assume--and process
"bad" news more effectively, and are more likely to accept what you cannot change and move
on. In short you will be able to inoculate yourself against the negative attitude virus and his
big cousins--stress and depression.

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 9. Keep hope alive
Hope is an incredibly powerful emotion. Without it you not only become unhappy--you die.
So be sure to never give up hope, no matter how bleak it gets. And even more important, be
sure not to confuse inconveniences with problems. Because many of the "problems" that we
get ourselves all worked up about are inconvenience not tragedies. When you are in the
middle of one of these, a great diagnostic is to ask yourself: "How will I feel about this in five
years from now." And then act accordingly. To deal more effectively with the real tragedies--
which will come--turn to the source of hope and inspiration that works for you. It may be
religion, spirituality, meditation or reading a great motivational book--see the special offer
that follows. It will help you keep hope alive and make you more optimistic and happier.

We've all heard in the media about the economy and numerous job layoffs. It's a problem, no
doubt, and one that may take time to resolve. I've talked to many people who are worried
about their job, finances and overall security. Many people are anxious, fearful and even
depressed about the current economic times. It's easy to get so wrapped up in the problems
going on in this world to overlook the good that is happening in your life; right now! But, I
assure you, there is a bright side. There is a way to feel happy even during these down times.
The answer is so simple....but often overlooked or maybe even avoided altogether. Can you
guess what it is? We all know people who like to complain. They are the type that complains
as if it's an Olympic event. However, lately there are legitimate things to complain about but
is it really necessary? We can't change many of the things going on in our world and we can't
change how other people respond to bad situations, but we can control how WE respond. We
make the choice every day to either feel happy and peaceful or anxious and fearful. So, have
you figured out what can make you happy even when things are falling apart around you?
The answer is gratitude!

Feeling thankful for what is good in your life and focusing on those things rather than
focusing on all the things that are wrong in life is what will produce happiness. When we are
legitimately grateful for our family, job, finances, neighbours, opportunities, or anything else
in your life, you will feel better. Gratitude produces a feeling of joy. It makes us feel good to
be thankful for what we have in life. The joy transcends to peace and that peace produces
happiness even in tough times. The circumstances don't change but how you feel does
change. And, if given the choice, wouldn't you rather feel happy than stressed?

Has anyone ever paid you a compliment that you didn’t accept? For example, has someone
told you your new dress is very becoming and you responded by saying, “Oh, this old thing?”

Maybe at work someone complimented you on a job well done and you responded, “It was
nothing.” Why is it often difficult to accept a compliment? Why can’t we be grateful and just
say “thank you”? When we decline a compliment, we think we are being humble, but the
message it delivers to our subconscious is altogether different. Rejection of a compliment
sends a message to the brain that we are not pretty, or smart, or hard working! This response
also makes the person who paid us the compliment feel bad because we didn’t accept it.

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When we are grateful and accept the kind words someone has given us, it makes us feel good
inside. That compliment is stored in our “hard drive,” and continues to deliver positive
energy. Have an attitude of gratitude. Make a choice to be grateful and happy. Be grateful for
the job you have, even if you are not happy in that job. Be grateful for your co-workers, even
though they may drive you crazy. Be grateful for your boss who is hard on you, but also
challenges you, and makes you stretch further than you thought you could. I guarantee if you
will start being grateful for the things in your life that make you happy, or even unhappy, you
will experience a wonderful upsurge of new energy.

Suddenly, change is in the air! You might arrive at work one day and notice that you really do
enjoy your job and appreciate the uniqueness of your co-workers. You might even think
everyone else has changed, but it’s really you who flipped the switch to the Happiness
Channel. Why not give that flip-switch a try? The alternative is staying exactly where you
are; and if that doesn’t feel good, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Focus on
what is good in your life. I guarantee you will like your results. Continue to do this and you
will always be “Winning in Life”!

Some more ways of keeping ourselves happy are:

• Make up your mind to be happy. Learn to find pleasure in simple things.

• Make the best of your circumstances. No one has everything, everyone has something
of sorrow intermingled with gladness of life. The trick is to make the laughter
outweigh the tears.

• Don’t take yourself too seriously. Don’t think that somehow you should be protected
from misfortune that befalls other people.

• You can’t please everybody. Don’t let criticism worry you.

• Don’t let your neighbour set your standards. Be yourself.

• Do the things you enjoy doing but stay out of debt.

• Never borrow trouble. Imaginary things are harder to bear than the real ones.

• Since hate poisons the soul, do not cherish jealousy. Avoid people who make you
unhappy.

• Have many interests. If you can’t travel, read about new places.

• Don’t hold post-mortems. Don’t spend your time brooding over sorrows or mistakes.
Don’t be one who never gets over things.

• Do what you can do for those less fortunate than yourself.

• Keep busy at something. A busy person never has time to be unhappy.

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Finding happiness is like finding yourself. You don't find happiness, you make happiness.
You choose happiness. Self-actualization is a process of discovering who you are, who you
want to be and paving the way to happiness by doing what brings you the most meaning and
contentment to your life over the long run. True happiness is not attained through self-
gratification, but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.

This famous quote on happiness by Helen Keller

 You will never be happier than you expect. To change your happiness, change your
expectation.

This famous happiness quote by Bette Davis

 Hope is itself a species of happiness, and, perhaps, the chief happiness which this
world affords.

This quote on happiness by Samuel Johnson

 Happiness is man's greatest aim in life. Tranquillity and rationality are the
cornerstones of happiness.

The meaning of happiness according to Epicurus

 Realize that true happiness lies within you. Waste no time and effort searching for
peace and contentment and joy in the world outside. Remember that there is no
happiness in having or in getting, but only in giving. Reach out. Share. Smile. Hug.
Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on
yourself.

This happy thought by speaker Og Mandino

 Happiness is contagious...when you reflect happiness, then all others around you
catch the happy bug and are happy, too.

This definition of happiness by author Jennifer Leese

 Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.

This definition of happiness by Mahatma Gandhi

 Happiness is an inner state of well being. A state of well being enables you to profit
from your highest: thoughts, wisdom, intelligence, common sense, emotions, health,
and spiritual values in your life.

This happy thought by Lionel Ketchian.

 Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the
source of your joy.

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This happy quote by Thich Nhat Hanh

 A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person
with a certain set of attitudes.

This happiness quote by Hugh Downs

 Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human
existence.

This happiness definition by Aristotle

 There is a French proverb: To live happy, live hidden. Where can Brigitte Bardot
hide?

This not-so-happy thought by Brigitte Bardot

 Money can't buy you happiness, but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.

This quote on happiness by Spike Milligan

 Happiness isn’t a thing in itself--it's only a contrast with something that isn’t pleasant.

This definition of happiness by Mark Twain in Captain Storm field’s Visit to Heaven

 Let's define happiness as a feeling of contentment created when all of one's physical,
emotional, psychological, intellectual and spiritual needs have been gratified.

This definition of happiness excerpted from 12 Steps 2 Self Esteem

 Shared joy is a double joy; shared sorrow is half sorrow.

This happy thought is a Swedish proverb

 Happiness is the only sanction of life; where happiness fails, existence remains a mad
and lamentable experiment.

This thought on happiness by George Santayana in The Life of Reason.

 I give thanks for the joy and happiness in life and trust that God does indeed want me
to be happy.

This happy thought by Marty Varnadoe Dow.

 Happiness comes only from appreciating what you have right now. You can even be
happy by appreciating your troubles because they are helping to build your character.

This quote on happiness by Harriet Meyerson

 It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.

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This thought about happiness by Agnes Rippler

 Happiness is mostly a by-product of doing what makes us feel fulfilled.

This definition of happiness by Dr. Benjamin Spock

 Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, And the life of the candle
will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.

This happy thought by Buddha

 Happiness is the only good. The time to be happy is now. The place to be happy is
here. The way to be happy is to make others so.

This happiness definition by --Robert G. Ingersoll

 Happiness: An agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another.

This definition of happiness by Ambrose Bierce

 Life can be divided into the horrible and miserable.

This not-so-happy thought by Woody Allen in Annie Hall

 There is work that is work and there is play that is play; there is play that is work and
work that is play. And in only one of these lie happiness.

This happiness definition by Gelett Burgess

 There is no cosmetic for beauty like happiness.

This happy thought by the Countess of Blessington

 Happiness is not merely a life lived by accumulating moments of pleasure. On the

contrary, happiness is a long lasting enduring enjoyment of life, it is being in love
with living. It is your reward for achieving a good character and personal rational
values in life. Some important values are a productive career, romance, friendship and
hobbies.

This happiness quote by Dr. Ellen Kenner.

 By all means marry: If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad
one, you'll become a philosopher.

This definition of happiness by Socrates.

 Happiness is not in having or being—it is in the doing.

This definition of happiness by Lillian Watson.

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  Happiness is living in a state of freely choosing to create and exchange one's rational
values with others.

This definition of happiness by John Roberts.

 But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads.

This definition of happiness by Albert Camus

 The greatest part of our happiness depends on our dispositions, not our circumstances.

This happy thought by Martha Washington.

 Happiness is a thing to be practiced, like the violin.

This quote on happiness by John Lubbock

 Happiness... is not a destination: it is a manner of travelling. Happiness is not an end

in itself. It is a by-product of working, playing, loving and living.

This happy thought by Haim Ginott.

 Happiness is a state of the mind. The dictionary definition is "feelings of joy and
pleasure mingled together”. A feeling of happiness is more than just an experience of
joy or pleasure. It is a state of mind where the individual feels that “life is good”.

This definition of happiness by MyHappiness.com.

 Happiness for me is to know that my life has meaning and purpose, and that every day
my life touches others in a positive way--whether to make them laugh or learn or both
at once!

This quote on happiness by Deanna Mascle publisher of Upbeat by Dawggone.

 To be truly happy and contented, you must let go of what it means to be happy or
content.

This happy thought by Confucius

 The true way to render ourselves happy is to love our work and find in it our pleasure.

This quote on happiness by Francoise de Motteville

 Happiness is something you get as a by-product in the process of making something

else.

This definition of happiness by Aldous Huxley

 What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money.

This funny quote on happiness by Henny Youngman

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  Happiness is when your mind is thinking through your heart.

This definition of happiness by Judi Singleton.

 Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory.

This funny, famous quote on happiness by Albert Schweitzer.

 Whoever is happy will make others happy, too.

This happy thought by Mark Twain

 Happiness can be defined, in part at least, as the fruit of the desire and ability to
sacrifice what we want now for what we want eventually.

This definition of happiness by Stephen Covey

Conclusion
1. Happy as You Want to Be
Living a happy, resilient and optimistic life is wonderful, and is also good for your health.
Being happy actually protects you from the stresses of life. Stress is linked to top causes of
death such as heart disease, cancer and stroke. One of the better things ever said is - 'The only
thing in life that will always remain the same is change', and in our life we have the power to
make the necessary changes if we want to. Even if we find ourselves in an unbearable
situation we can always find solace in the knowledge that it too would change. Social
networks or relationships are essential to happiness. People are different, accept people for
whom or what they are, avoid clashes, constant arguments, and let go of all kinds of
resentments. If arguments seem unavoidable still try and make an effort to understand the
situation and you might just get along with well with Happiness is actually found in
everyone, increasing it is a way to make a life more wonderful and also healthier.

To be happy is relatively easy; just decide to be a happy person. Abraham Lincoln observed
that most people for most of the time can choose how happy or stressed, how relaxed or
troubled, how bright or dull their outlook to be. The choice is simple really, choose to be
happy. There are several ways by which you can do this. Being grateful is a great attitude. We
have so much to be thankful for. Thank the taxi driver for bringing you home safely, thank the
cook for a wonderful dinner and thank the guy who cleans your windows. Also thank the

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mailman for bringing you your mails, thank the policeman for making your place safe and
thank God for being alive.

News is stressful. Get less of it. Some people just can't start their day without their daily dose
of news. Try and think about it, 99% of the news we hear or read is bad news. Starting the
day with bad news does not seem to be a sensible thing to do. A religious connection is also
recommended. Being part of a religious group with its singing, sacraments, chanting, prayers
and meditations foster inner peace. Manage your time. Time is invaluable and too important
to waste. Time management can be viewed as a list of rules that involves scheduling, setting
goals, planning, creating lists of things to do and prioritizing. These are the core basics of
time management that should be understood to develop an efficient personal time
management skill. These basic skills can be fine tuned further to include the finer points of
each skill that can give you that extra reserve to make the results you desire. Laugh and laugh
heartily every day. Heard a good joke? Tell your friends or family about it. As they also say
-'Laughter is the best medicine'.

Express your feelings, affections, friendship and passion to people around you. They will
most likely reciprocate your actions. Try not to keep pent up anger of frustrations, this is bad
for your health. Instead find ways of expressing them in a way that will not cause more injury
or hurt to anyone. Working hard brings tremendous personal satisfaction. It gives a feeling of
being competent in finishing our tasks

Accomplishments are necessary for all of us; they give us a sense of value. Work on things
that you feel worthy of your time. Learning is a joyful exercise. Try and learn something new
every day. Learning also makes us expand and broaden our horizons. And could also give us
more opportunities in the future.
Run, jog, walk and do other things that your body was made for. Feel alive. Avoid exposure
to negative elements like loud noises, toxins and hazardous places. These are the few simple
things you can do everyday to be happy.

2. Genuine Happiness Comes from Within

Life isn’t the sweetest candy. Sometimes, when I feel like the world is just too heavy, I look
around and find people who continued to live fascinating and wonderful lives. And then
thoughts come popping into my mind like bubbles from nowhere – “How did their life
become so adorably sweet? How come they still can manage to laugh and play around despite
a busy stressful life?” Then I pause and observed for awhile… I figured out that maybe, they
start to work on a place called ‘self’. So, how does one become genuinely happy? Step 1 is to
love you. Genuine happiness also pertains to contentment. When you are contented with the
job you have, the way you look, with your family, your friends, the place you live in, your
car, and all the things you now have – truly, you know the answer to the question “how to be
genuinely happy.”

When we discover a small start somewhere from within, that small start will eventually lead
to something else, and to something else. But if you keep questioning life lit it has never done
you any good, you will never be able to find genuine happiness. I believe that life is about
finding out about right and wrong, trying and failing, winning and losing. These are things
that happen as often as you inhale and exhale. Failure, in a person’s life has become as
abundant and necessary as air. But this should not hinder us from becoming happy. How to be
genuinely happy in spite all these? I tell you… every time you exert effort to improve the
quality of life and your being, whether it is cleaning up your room, helping a friend, taking

17
care of your sick dog, fail on board exams and trying again, life gives you equivalent points
for that. Imagine life as a big score board like those which are used in the NFLs. Every time
you take a step forward, you make scoring points. Wouldn’t it be nice to look at that board at
the end of each game and think to yourself “Whew! I got a point today. I’m glad I gave it a
shot.” instead of looking at it all blank and murmur “Geez, I didn’t even hit a score today. I
wish I had the guts to try out. We could have won!” and then walk away.

Genuine happiness isn’t about driving the hottest Formula 1 car, nor getting the employee of
the year award, earning the highest 13th month pay, or beating the sales quota. Sometimes, the
most sought after prizes in life doesn’t always go to the fastest, the strongest, the bravest or
not even the best. So, how do you become genuinely happy? Everyone has his own definition
of ‘happiness’. Happiness for a writer may mean launching as much bestselling books as
possible. Happiness for a basketball rookie may mean getting the rookie of the year award.
Happiness for a beggar may mean a lot of money. Happiness for a business man may mean
success. So, really now, how do we become genuinely happy? Simple. You don’t have to
have the best things in this world. Its about doing and making the best out of every single
thing. When you find yourself smiling at your own mistake and telling yourself “Oh, I’ll do
better next time”, you carry with you a flame of strong will power to persevere that may
spread out like a brush fire. You possess a willingness to stand up again and try – that will
make you a genuinely happy person.

When you learn to accept yourself and your own faults. You pass step 1 in the project “how to
become genuinely happy”. For as long as you know how to accept others, you will also be
accepted. For as long as you love and know how to love, you will receive love ten folds back.
Again, throw me that same question “how to become genuinely happy?” I’ll refer you to a
friend of mine who strongly quoted- “Most of us know that laughter is the best medicine to
life’s aches and pain. But most of us don’t know that the best kind of laughter is laughter over
self. Coz then you don’t just become happy… you become free.”

3. The Powers of a Positive Attitude

I am going to ask you to something very weird right now. First of all, I want you to listen to
your thoughts. Now tell me, what thoughts fill your head? Would you label them as positive,
or negative? Now let's say you are walking down the street with these thoughts. Do you think
anyone who would meet you would be able to tell you
what’s on your mind? The answer to number one is up to you. But, the answer number two
can be pretty generic. Although people will not be able to tell you exactly what you think,
they will more or less have an idea of how you are feeling. Here's another question. When
you enter a party filled with friends, do they all fall silent as if something terrible had
happened? Or does everybody there perk up as if waiting for something exciting to happen?
You know what? The answer to all these depends on your frame of mind.

Thoughts are very powerful. They affect your general attitude. The attitude you carry reflects
on your appearance, too – unless, of course, you are a great actor. And it doesn't end there.
Your attitude can also affect people around you. The type of attitude you carry depends on
you. It can be either positive or negative. Positive thoughts have a filling effect. They are
admittedly invigorating. Plus, the people around the person carrying positive thoughts are
usually energized by this type of attitude. Negative thoughts on the other hand have a sapping
effect on other people. Aside from making you look gloomy and sad, negative thoughts can
turn a festive gathering into a funeral wake.

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A positive attitude attracts people, while a negative attitude repels them. People tend to shy
away from those who carry a negative attitude. We can also define attitude as the way of
looking at the world. If you choose to focus on the negative things in the world, more or less
you have a negative attitude brewing up. However, if you choose to focus on the positive
things, you are more likely carry a positive attitude. You have much to gain from a very
positive attitude. For one, studies have shown that a positive attitude promotes better health.
Those with this kind of attitude also have more friends. Projecting a positive attitude also
helps one to handle stress and problems better than those who have a negative attitude.

A positive attitude begins with a healthy self-image. If you will love the way you are and are
satisfied, confident, and self-assured, you also make others are around feel the same way. A
negative attitude, on the other hand, has, of course, an opposite effect. So, carrying a negative
attitude has a twofold drawback. You feel bad about yourself, and you make others feel the
same way. If you want to have a positive attitude, you have to feature healthy thoughts. This
is probably very hard to do nowadays since, all around us, the media feeds us nothing but
negative thoughts. A study shows that for every 14 things a parent says to his or her child,
only one is positive. This is truly a saddening thought.

If you want a healthier outlook in life, you need to think happy thoughts, and you have to
hear positive things as well. So, what can you do? Well, for starters, you could see a funny
movie, you could play with children, spend some time telling jokes with friends. All these
activities fill you with positive stimuli, which in turn promotes positive attitude. Although it
is impossible to keep ourselves from the negative things around us, you can still carry a
positive attitude by focusing on the good things, the positive things in life. And this positive
attitude you now carry can be of benefit to other people. Sometimes when other people feel
down, the thing people mostly do is try to give them advice. But sometimes, all they need is
somebody to sit by them, and listen to them. If you have a positive attitude you may be able
to cheer them up without even having to say anything.

If positive attitude is really great, why do people choose to adopt a negative attitude instead?
One who carries a negative attitude may be actually sending a signal for attention. Before you
get me wrong, feeling sad, angry, or gloomy is not wrong itself. But dwelling on these
thoughts for far too long is not healthy either. There is a time to mourn. As always, if you are
beset by troubles, even in your darkest hour, focus on the good things in life, you will always
have hope. Problems become something you can overcome. You do not have much to lose by
adopting a healthy, positive attitude.

Studies show that such an attitude actually retards aging, makes you healthier, helps you
develop a better stress coping mechanism, and has a very positive effect on all the people you
meet every day. So, what's not to like about a positive attitude? Adopt one today.

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 Recommendations
1. Always go the extra smile
Don’t ever underestimate the power of a smile. Internally, it immediately sets good
physiology into motion — muscles relax, your immune system perks up and you feel a surge
of energy. Externally, others respond to your smile with encouragement and enthusiasm. As
comedian Victor Borge once put it, “A smile is the shortest distance between two people.” All
of this takes place even if you don’t feel like smiling. So force a smile on your face and keep
it there. Just the muscular configuration will cause some changes in your favour. As they say
in twelve-step recovery, it makes sense to “fake it until you make it.” Or to paraphrase
comedian George Burns, when it comes to smiling, “Always be sincere, even if you have to
fake it.”

Try it right now. Oh, go ahead. Nobody’s watching. Force a big smile on your face and hold
it. Can you feel that subtle surge of energy and confidence inside? It never fails to materialize
if you hold the smile long enough. Here is an exercise that will help you follow this
commandment. If you are willing to practice this protocol at least once a day, I guarantee you
will find it easier to smile more often. That’s because when you gently stretch your smile
muscles, they become stronger and more available. Hence smiling takes less effort.

2. Tell the Truth

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This commandment challenges you to live truthfully according to your personal priorities and
values. What is the purpose of your life? Why are you here? Does your daily behaviour
reflect your highest priorities? Or are you trying to be something or someone you are not?

Admittedly these are tough questions, but if you are going to rely on the Fun Factor to
achieve maximum success, you’ve got to be clear on what’s “negotiable” and what’s not.
Your humour nature will not fabricate on your behalf. Humour always tells the truth, which is
why it’s so unwelcome in some segments of society. So if you are trying to be someone you
are not, your humour nature will trip you up. It knows and respects you too well to
misrepresent you.

Your humour nature is exactly who you are. It is the part of you that you did not create. It is
the part of you that you will never improve upon, because there is no need for improvement.
You are wonderful just as you are. Why settle for less than your unique perfection? Be true to
yourself. Trust yourself. Get in the habit of asking “Am I being honest with myself?

3. Laugh at Yourself First

This commandment is not about losing self-respect or demeaning ourselves. Just the opposite
— it is an act of loving kindness. Willingness to laugh at ourselves frees us from the
restrictions of the unrealistic and unremittingly harsh expectations to which we hold
ourselves when we are under duress. It gives us latitude to appreciate the ever-present
inconsistencies and contradictions that are part of our makeup.

Laughing at ourselves helps us recognize the difference between perfection and

perfectionism. Perfection is what we are, and that includes all the inconsistencies and
shortcomings. You are not perfect, but you are perfection because of, not in spite of, your
contradictions. Perfection is healthy. It includes imperfection. Perfectionism, on the other
hand, is what we think we should be. It is always unhealthy. It is intolerant of imperfection.
When we are caught up in our perfectionism, we are brittle and inflexible. We can be broken
down by change.

So laughing at ourselves is not a form of humiliation. It is a way of taking ourselves lightly,

while still taking our responsibilities seriously. Once we are able to lighten up, we become
more creative and resourceful. When the going gets tough, the tough lighten up.

4. Allow Your Mistakes

Far from a license for mediocrity, this commandment is a formula for success. If we are to
rise above our fear and pain we must have the energy for it. Trying to deny our mistakes and
keep them hidden from others is a waste of that precious energy. As we’ve already observed,
we are perfectly imperfect. Mistakes are inevitable, but they can be real assets if we are
willing to learn from them. Acknowledging them freely is the first step in turning our perils
into pearls.

What can we learn from mistakes if we’re willing to acknowledge them? Of course the most
obvious payoff is that they teach us what doesn’t work. Being wrong will often alert us to
another perspective or point of view. Mistakes also force us to develop new behaviours and
coping styles—expanding our repertoire. Learning what doesn’t work, seeing additional
perspectives, or developing new coping skills are all priceless assets when we are going

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through inevitable changes in our lives. And when it comes to expanding repertoires and
gaining new perspectives, we have no greater resource than humour.

5. Listen Very Carefully

The most difficult thing to do when we are faced with stressful challenges is to listen very
carefully. Yet it is a fact that our listening skill is our greatest asset for success. Most people
find listening difficult because they think of it as a passive state. Careful listening may be a
quiet activity, but it is certainly not passive. It requires the activation of every sense— our
ears, of course, but also our eyes, our touch and especially our hearts. The goal is to first
understand, before seeking to be understood.

If we are willing to listen fully to what we are hearing, we will discover information that will
make us more successful. Quite often others will give us clues to the response that will be
most effective. Not only that, but when we listen intently, we will become aware of the
humour in a situation that might otherwise be overlooked. This plays right into our
commitment to have as much fun as possible at all times.

6. Let Go Frequently
In life, as in juggling, success depends less on what we catch than on how quickly we can let
go. Failure to let go of what we have already lost increases our suffering and ineffectiveness
during life’s inevitable transitions. Now, suppose you are an innocent recipient of misfortune
or abuse. You did nothing to deserve the loss. You have a right to be resentful and angry. If
you accept it gracefully, you may feel like you are endorsing an injustice or letting somebody
or something off too easily.

Nonetheless, it’s still advisable to let go and “forgive” as quickly as you can. Do this for one
reason only — it’s good for you. Harbouring resentment, no matter how justified it may be,
imprisons the resented, while making no impact on the situation. It drains energy and limits
options. Letting go is something we do for the benefit of no one but ourselves. But it is not
easy. The more important the loss, the harder it is to release our grip. This is where the issue
of priorities, raised earlier, becomes important. We must not allow difficulty in letting go of
the more important issues to stand in the way of our releasing what we can. Every little bit
helps free us to be more resourceful and effective in our responses.

Humour nature provides an effective and practically effortless way of letting go — laughter.
We cannot laugh without letting go. Believe me, I’ve tried and it gave me a hernia. If you are
able to let go, it may be only for today. Tomorrow may require a renewed effort, since
resentments have a way of building back up, with or without justification.

7. Challenge Your Assumptions

This a crucial “commandment,” because most of the fear we experience in life relates to
assumptions we make based on past experience or the counsel of others (usually some form
of hearsay). We are tireless assumers. Drop us into any situation and the first thing we’ll do,
whether or not we know the facts, is begin to make assumptions. We are not deterred by
ignorance of the facts. Whenever we don’t know, we simply make more assumptions, more
quickly. Most of our assumptions go unchecked. Soon we begin to treat them as fact and
assign them the power of truth. There’s only one problem with all of this. Most of our

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assumptions are wrong! Our batting average is so poor it’s a miracle our species has made it
this far.

In order to survive life’s challenges successfully, we need the capacity to challenge our
assumptions frequently enough to stop us from veering too far off course. Humour nature is
our best resource for this. Challenging prevailing assumptions is the chief mechanism of all
humour.

8. Stay Focused, But Flexible

This sounds like an assignment for a contortionist. Focused and flexible? Aren’t they
opposites? Let me put it this way. We all know the shortest distance between two points is…
usually under construction. That’s right. The theoretical straight line does not exist in real life.
We are challenged to keep our goals and priorities clearly in focus, while remaining flexible
enough to accommodate the inevitable surprises. At times life resembles a game of “Twister.”
That’s why humour is so valuable. Balance is the issue. If focus overrides flexibility, we
become stubborn, rigid and bull-headed. If flexibility eclipses focus, we are left aimless and
vulnerable. Humour helps us avoid these extremes. When it comes to flexibility, your humour
nature offers a win/win situation. Flexibility stimulates your sense of humour and humour
will keep you more flexible.

9. Act and Interact With People

The best ideas are merely intellectual curiosities until put into action. Success is measured by
action. Life is not a spectator sport. We must have a plan of action. Even if it calls for us to do
nothing for now, planned passivity is better than immobilization by despair. Yes, there is risk
involved in taking action. In fact, there is a certain degree of risk in every breath we take. But
if we are willing to be bold in putting our humour nature into action, we will find that the
risks have been vastly overrated. Others are surprisingly receptive and supportive, once we
take the initiative. Which brings us to the second aspect of this “commandment” —
interacting. Nobody achieves success without help from others. Even the Lone Ranger, the
quintessential symbol for going it alone, had Tonto at his side.

Have you noticed that your sense of humour becomes stronger the moment it connects with
another person? Amusing yourself is better than nothing. Sharing your humour with others is
the best. You will find that if you make the effort to reach out with humour, others will be
eager to meet you more than half way.

10. Celebrate Everything

Perhaps you’ve heard the story of the optimistic little boy who, when confronted with a room
full of horse manure, dove right in, exclaiming, “With all this manure, there’s got to be a
pony in here somewhere!” Although I don’t think I want to hug him right now, I think the
little fellow’s got it right. No matter how big a pile of “manure” life dumps in your path,
looking for the pony is the best response. Even if there is no pony, digging in with enthusiasm
is better for us than being burdened with reluctance and resentment. Between you and me,
there usually is a pony, but we miss it because we’re not looking for it.

When you opened your eyes this morning, you were already breathing. If not, I don’t think
you should be reading this. If you went on to check the obituaries and didn’t find your name,
you’re apparently alive. That’s a miracle. Celebrate it. Celebration is made up of two
elements — gratitude and joy. Remember, joy is the most natural state for us humour beings.

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If you want more joy in your life, begin each moment with gratitude. Gratitude is the essence
of celebration. It doesn’t have to be noisy or raucous. A quiet “thank you” to a special person
in your life can be an effective form of celebration.

Appendices

Rules for a Happy Marriage

 Never both are angry at the same time.
 Never yell at each other unless the house is on fire.
 If one of you has to win an argument, let it be your mate.
 If you have to criticize, do it lovingly.
 Never bring up mistakes in the past.
 Neglect the whole world rather than each other.
 Never go to sleep with an argument unsettled.
 At least once every day try to say one kind or complimentary word.
 When you have done something wrong, be ready to admit it.
 It takes two to make a quarrel and the one in the wrong is the one who does most of
the talking.

External versus Internal Happiness

Have you ever reflected on why you do the things you do and what makes you happy? Once
you have taken care of your basic needs of food, clothing and shelter for survival, you
probably do things because they make you happy or keep you from becoming unhappy?

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Since everyone has different thoughts, actions and emotions on their tape, I have to relate to
you in general concepts instead of specifics. That’s why it’s so important for you to be true to
yourself when you reflect on your own life and what I am sharing with you.

Take an honest look at your life and realize how much the different emotions on your tape
affect your view of the world and happiness. You do the things you do because of what is on
your past tape and your spirit’s level of awareness.
Do you depend on possessions, people and things outside of yourself to make you happy? Do
you depend on escapisms like watching television, movies or sports, playing games and
taking external substances to make you happy or mask your unhappiness? If you do, you are
looking for happiness outside of yourself.

The business and advertising worlds know this very well. They use your dependence on
things outside of yourself that make you feel good, to entice you to buy what they are selling.
Have you ever taken a serious look at why you buy the things you do?

You buy things and spend money on escapisms because they make you feel good. Don’t get
me wrong. There is nothing wrong with enjoying the world outside of you by having lots of
possessions or escaping to relax.
However, don’t expect the outside world to produce lasting happiness because after the initial
euphoria wears off, you will find yourself looking outside of yourself for more, or different
things to make you feel good again. It’s a vicious cycle. The more you get, the more you need
to maintain your happiness. You end up being a junkie dependent on things outside of
yourself to make you happy I could write an entire book on how you look to the outside
world and escapisms to make yourself happy. However, it is better if you come to that
realization yourself. Look around and reflect on all the things outside of yourself that you
depend on to make you happy, or mask your unhappiness.
Start observing all the advertisements that promise to increase your happiness, directly or
indirectly, if you buy what they are trying to sell you. Pay attention to what you desire to buy
in order to be happy or happier.

Are you buying or trying to buy your happiness? Are you are waiting for things in the future
to make you happy? Do you tell yourself that “I’ll be happy when I get _________________
(fill in the blank)?”

I’m sure you have heard the expression that money can’t buy you happiness. The reason this
is true is because true and lasting happiness always comes from within. Yet, many individuals
depend on things outside of themselves to make them happy. How about you?

If you want to reduce or eliminate your dependency on things outside of yourself to make you
happy, structure your life so you can generate your excitement and happiness from within.
The great thing about internal happiness is that it doesn’t cost you any money to acquire it
and no one, except yourself, can ever take it away from you.

How does one create internal happiness from within? It is very easy to do if you think about
it. If you want to be happy, all you have to do is stop thinking about yourself and help others.
The less you think about yourself and the more you help others, the happier you will become.
This is a fact.

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Why do I make this claim with such certainty? The reason is because your brain secretes
positive chemicals corresponding to your positive emotions. When you help someone, you
are being generous with your time and personal resources. You are being brave because you
are not afraid of losing out while you are helping someone else, instead of yourself. Plus, you
experience the feeling of love and well being when you help someone.

As a side benefit, these positive emotions elevate your chemistry, allowing your natural
abilities to increase as well as your health. When I work with golfers and other athletes, I
stress that they take time out of their busy schedules to help others because it will raise their
chemistry and allow them to perform at higher levels in the competitive arena.

I’ll offer you the same advice. Take time out of your life to help others because it will make
you feel happy inside. Better yet, choose a vocation that you enjoy where you help others
while you are earning your livelihood even if you make less money than you could earn
doing something else. Invest your time and energy wisely because the more people you help,
the happier you will feel.
Also, the more honest and positive you become; the less stress you will experience in your
life. Do you know how great it makes you feel when you know that you always do the right
thing and you are here to help others? If you don’t know, I’ll tell you. It puts a big smile on
your face and makes your spirit glow inside. People can even see it in your eyes.

I’m sure some of you reading this chapter are rolling your eyes to the ceiling and shaking
your head sideways. Your tape is telling you, “What nonsense” or, “I’d rather have lots of
money and buy my happiness.” Some tapes are saying, “If I’m always truthful, I won’t make
or have as much money to buy things that make me happy.”

Some of you don’t like what you do for a living, but resign yourself to putting up with your
job as a means to buy things that will make you happy, or escape on the weekend. Your tape
would rather have you work at something you don’t enjoy because you can make more
money than you could if you worked doing something you loved, but paid you less. That’s
what my tape told me until my spirit rebelled.

Maybe, this is what Thoreau was referring to when he said, “Most men lead lives of quiet
desperation.” If you love your work and make an honest living by helping others, you are a
very rich person in many ways.

“Choose a job you love and you will never have to work a day in your life.”
-Confucius

Have you ever heard the saying, “Do what you love and the money will come?” It took me a
while to figure out how to do it, but I know from my own personal experience that this is
true.

The popular motivational speaker, Zig Ziglar, has said, “You can get anything you want in
life if you help enough other people get what they want.” You can have the best of both your
inner and outer worlds, as long as you are always truthful, positive and helping others.
The reason I say this is because the house always wins. Las Vegas, the gambling capital of
the world, attracts millions of visitors a year and makes billions of dollars by playing the
percentages. They make the rules and set the odds in their favour. You may win some money,

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but if you keep gambling in the hopes of winning more, you will end up losing because in the
long run the house always wins.

What does Las Vegas have to do with this report and your happiness? It is just an example to
illustrate that the house always wins. Let’s take a look at you and the big picture of life.

If you were the Creator, the House in this example, who gave the over six billion individuals
presently living on this planet a free will to do whatever they pleased, would you like to
retain some element of control over your creation? It only seems logical that you would. But,
how could you control these individuals and give them a free will at the same time?

If I were the Creator, I would design individuals with a free will to choose and do as they
desire. However, I would set up a system of checks and balances to maintain control of my
creation. I would do it by designing them so when they were truthful, positive and helping
others, their brains would secrete beneficial chemicals. This would enhance their ability to
think, perform and co-create in the direction that I wanted the universe to evolve.

When they were untruthful, negative, and selfish and going in the wrong direction from what
I desired, their brains would secrete detrimental chemicals. This would hinder their thinking,
health and performance, limiting the damage they could do to the positive evolution of my
creation.

Think about it. With this system of checks and balances, the odds would be in my favour.
Every individual would have a free will and I would have control of my creation. This is the
system I would design and use if I were the Creator. Does this make sense to you? How does
this make you feel?

If your spirit has evolved, this scenario probably makes a lot of sense to you. We were
designed to function according to the laws of God, or a Higher Power, or the Universe, or
whatever Cosmic Intelligence or Infinite Source you feel comfortable calling It. If you are
truthful, positive and helping others, you get rewarded. If you are untruthful, negative and
selfish, you pay the price until you learn your lesson because the House always wins. It’s just
a matter of time.
If your tape feels that it is unrealistic to be always truthful, positive and helping others in the
“real world,” that’s OK for now. However, when you find yourself unhappy, bored or
depressed, take a look at why. Is it because you are depending on the world outside of
yourself to make you happy? Is it because you are paying the price for being untruthful,
negative or selfish?

If you depend on things outside of yourself to make you happy, the Daily Affirmation will
create conflicts with your tape. However, if you structure your life to live by the Daily
Affirmation, you will find that your internal happiness will grow and your dependence on
things outside of yourself for your happiness will diminish.

However, as your natural abilities increase by aligning your thoughts and actions with the
Daily Affirmation, you will find yourself more productive and creative. More than likely, you
will end up making more money and be able to afford more outside pleasures as well.

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God gave you a free will to do as you please. You can look for happiness outside of yourself
or choose to find happiness within by doing the right thing. Fortunately, you can have both if
you play your cards right.

If you take care of the inside by playing by the House rules of always being truthful, positive
and helping others, your outside world will take care of itself because you will have God on
your side to help you out. Since God gave you a free will, the choice is yours.

Be Single and Happy

Are you blissfully single? Or have you put your life on hold until you are in that magical
relationship? There are now an estimated 3 million single people in London alone. A lot of
them are striving to get into a relationship. But just how do you lead a happy life as a single
person?
Many single people wait until they are in a relationship to live the kind of life they want and
do the things they love to do. If you choose to be single or if you are in between relationships,
rather than getting hung up over not being with someone, focus on what you have right now
and on creating a terrific single life.
Ask yourself what your life is going to be about. What do you want to do for a living and
what do you want to contribute to the world? Where do you want to live and how much
money do you want to make? The key is to make yourself truly happy right now and to
remain happy, single or with a partner.
Some single people throw themselves in their business or job, and forgo pleasure time and
self-care. It is as if their accomplishments are the only things that matter. Remember that your
life is happening today and is not a dress rehearsal for the day you are in a relationship.
Here are my tips for creating a truly happy life as a single person and to prepare yourself for a
future happy relationship:-
1. Be passionate about your life. Have a vision for your life and live by it every day. Have a
purpose for getting out of bed every morning. What activity energises you? What makes time
stop for you? Your purpose is your own, whether you are single or with a partner, and you
will be your happiest when fully living your life purpose. Having a partner is not a substitute
for a meaningful life.
2. Build a community. Socialise and have fun. Join clubs around your favourite topics and
volunteer your time and energy. Reach out to people already in your life and strengthen your
communal ties. You will be creating a varied rich life, and you will have people in your life
who care about you and your life, meeting many of your needs. This will in turn make you les
needy and thereby more attractive.
3. Pamper and treat yourself everyday with something luxurious and pleasurable. This can be
as simple as a ten minute walk, a drink at the local coffee shop, a body lotion that smells
good, a tub of chocolate ice cream to have in the bath and so on. Remember that such treats
are not just reserved for a partner to give you as gifts. Create a life full of such delicious
moments and your whole outlook will improve.
4. Start doing the things that you have been putting off. Find one fun thing to do every week
which you had put off doing till you had a partner, and starts crossing them off your list. And
one day you can also do them again with your partner.

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5. Put the past in the past. Be complete with past relationships and dump any baggage. Stop
hanging on to unhappy moments from the past as a reminder to prevent the same thing
happening again in the future. Let go of hurts and resentments towards anyone - forgive that
ex-partner who was so mean to you.
6. Take stock of how you have behaved in previous relationships. Get clarity on what you
contributed to past relationships not working out. Be kind to yourself as you do this and do
not make it an excuse to beat yourself up all over again.
7. Improve your relationship skills. Read all you can around this topic. Check out relationship
workshops and seminars. Dating events are in vogue at the moment. Go and have some fun -
try out things like speed dating.
Just because you may have been single for a while does not mean that you will not have a
successful life long relationship – learn and apply new skills.
8. Appreciate and value what goodness you already have in your life right now. Being single
actually gives you true freedom and independence to do just what you desire with your time
and resources, and you can choose who to do it with. The world is indeed your oyster.
And always remember – you can choose to be happy, with or without a partner.

References
www.scribd.com

www.google.com

www.arvinddevalia.com

www.here-is-your.info

www.natural-humor-medicine.com/tenways

www.howtobehappy.org

www.positive-you.com

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 Index
Word Page
Abraham Lincoln 6
Assumptions 22
Celebrate 22
Dreams 7
Definitions 11, 12,13,14,15
Emotions 16
External Happiness 24
Focus 22

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Gratitude 8
Genuine Happiness 17
Happy Attitude 7
Hope 9
Happy Marriage 24
Laugh 8, 20
Love 8
Learned optimism 9
Listen 21
Mistakes 21
Nine things 7
Positive Attitude 18
People 22
Simple Speaking 6
Smile 20
Tips 6, 11
Truth 20

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