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Janna Grandle
EDUC 370
October 31, 2013


Barbara Colorosos Theory of Inner Discipline

Barbara Coloroso is a world renowned author and speaker. She is an active consultant in
the fields of parenting, teaching, school discipline, nonviolent conflict resolution and restorative
justice throughout the United States, Canada, Europe, South America, Asia and Australia
(Coloroso, 2013). Coloroso spent three years as a Franciscan nun, with one of those years spent
in silence and meditation (Barli, Curshing, Dietzman, & Leaks). Coloroso has also spent time as
a classroom teacher, a laboratory school instructor and a university professor (Coloroso, 2013)
Coloroso is best known for her theory of Inner Discipline which is practiced today by parents
and teachers around the world. After extensive searching, I was not able to find any information
regarding Ms. Colorosos educational background.
The basis behind Colorosos idea of Inner Discipline, simply stated, is that Kids are
worth it (Tekin & Tugba). She believes that it is worth the time and energy of parents and
teachers to teach kids responsibility and self-control that will last a lifetime. Along with her idea
that kids are worth it, Coloroso has other philosophical tenants to the success of her theory of
Inner Discipline. She states that all parents and teacher should live, keeping in mind the golden
rule, treat others the way in which you would want to be treated. She also believes that if a
discipline works and both parties involved keep their dignity intact, use it (Coloroso, 2002). In
the text, Building Classroom Discipline by C.M. Charles, it is stated that Coloroso believes that
a major goal of education is to teach students to conduct themselves in an acceptable manner,
and that if they are to become able to do so they must acquire an inner sense of responsibility and
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self-control. The self-control enables student to take positive charge of their lives while
respecting the rights of those around them. This process can best be made to occur when
students are given responsibility for making decisions and managing the outcomes of those
decisions (2011, p. 74). Coloroso believes that Classrooms are the perfect place for a student to
gain these insights and skills.
Coloroso strongly believes that it is imperative for both parties of an incident to keep
their dignity intact in the solving of a problem, and that there is a stark difference between
discipline and punishment when dealing with a situation. She states that children must be taught
through discipline, not by being punished. Coloroso suggests that punishment is something that
imposes power by an adult, it can often lead to isolation, embarrassment, humiliation, and
shaming of a child, which simply deepens the wounds rather than healing them, and can prevent
the conflict from being resolved (Tekin & Tugba). Coloroso offers the idea that when a child is
being punished they will respond with the Three Fs, Fright, Fight and Flight. When a student
enters the Fright stage they simply do what they are told out of fear of what will happen if they
disobey. If this is the case, students will only do as they are told until they are able to get what
they need or want. In the Fight Stage, children will take their anger out on others, not accepting
any of the responsibility of what has occurred. The final stage is the Flight Stage, in this stage
the child will either mentally or physically run away and leave the situation unresolved because
their needs and feelings have been ignored or punished, which causes children to lose their
dignity and feel as though they have little or no worth (Tekin & Tugba). Punishment rather than
discipline can have kids afraid to make a mistake, which in turn could prevent kids from taking
responsibility if and when they do make a mistake. (Bucer & Manning, 2007).
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Coloroso introduces the idea that there are three categories of misbehavior, they include:
Mistakes, Mischief and Mayhem (Bucer & Manning, 2007). Mistakes are defined as simple
errors that give the student an opportunity to learn to make better choices. Mischief, while it is
not always serious, is an intentional act committed by a child it provides ways in which a child
can figure out how to fix what was done and learn how to avoid the same behavior, while
keeping their dignity. Mayhem, in contrast, is a serious misbehavior which calls for the child to
take responsibility for their action and implement what Coloroso calls the Three Rs of the Inner
Discipline model (Bucer & Manning, 2007). The Three Rs in handling serious misbehaviors
under Inner Discipline are: restitution, resolution and reconciliation (Charles, 2011). Restitution
is the idea that the student will do what is necessary to repair damage to the problem that they
caused. Resolution is when the students identifies what he or she did and corrects whatever
caused the misbehavior to take place so it will not happen again, and reconciliation is established
to heal the relationship between the person who caused the harm and the persons who were hurt
or offended by the act (Charles, 2011).
Coloroso believes that teachers can help students acquire Inner Discipline by taking the
following steps when students misbehave: first, teachers should explain to students what they
have done wrong; secondly, the teacher should give the student as much ownership of the
problem as the student can handle; third, the teacher should listen and help suggest strategies for
solving the problem; and fourth, the teacher should make sure that the strategy is acceptable and
the dignity of all parties involved stays intact (Charles, 2011). Charles states, Students will not
always make the best decisions, but they will see where they were wrong and learn from their
experiences When students are given ownership of problems and situations, they know it is up
to them to make matters better. Teachers are there to offer advice and support, but not to provide
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solutions (2011, p. 74). In order for Inner discipline to be reached in schools Coloroso
emphasizes the idea that schools should not be adult dominated or student controlled. They
should be a place where the teachers and students work together to create a sense of community
in which everyone has the ability to learn, grow and create (Charles, 2011).
The theory of Inner Discipline does not mean that consequences do not exist, it simply
means that students take ownership of the harm that was caused and have a say in how to resolve
the issue with an adult acting as a facilitator. Coloroso suggests that the RSVP Test should be
implemented in instances in which the teacher does impose the consequences. The RSVP Test
is used as a reminder for teachers that consequences should be: reasonable, simple, valuable and
practical (Bucer & Manning, 2007). When the consequences meet these criteria they are clearly
understood by the child and the students learn that they can have positive control over their
decisions students learn to make good decisions by learning from the results of other decisions
they have made. Coloroso also states that both natural and reasonable consequences should be
clearly associated with the expectations (Bucer & Manning, 2007). Natural consequences are
those that happen naturally, in the real world, without any intervention by anyone for example,
if a student kicks a desk, their toe will hurt, Coloroso believes that teachers should allow students
to fully experience these consequences as long as they are not physically dangerous, immoral or
unhealthy for the student (Bucer & Manning, 2007). Reasonable consequences are those that are
imposed by the teacher. They are the implementations that teachers use when a rule is broken,
for example, if a student kicks a desk and breaks it, they may be instructed to write a letter of
apology to the principal and the person repairing the desk in which they also state how they will
avoid similar occurrences from happening again.
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Coloroso proposes that there are three types of teachers, and each type embodies a
different set of expectations. The three types of teachers are described as a Brickwall teacher, a
Jellyfish teacher and a Backbone teacher (Barli, Curshing, Dietzman, & Leaks). The brickwall
teacher is strict and exerts control over the students by using power and coercion. They demand
that everyone follow the rules exactly as stated and they use punishment, humiliation, threats and
bribes to make sure that students do what they want (www.sagepub.com). A jellyfish teacher, on
the other hand, is on who has little structure, consistency or guidelines in terms of their
expectations. The lack discipline, set few limitations and often allow the students to get their
way, however, when a jellyfish teacher is provoked they begin to raise their voice, humiliate,
threaten and bribe students. Jellyfish teachers often believe that students do not have the ability
to resolve issues themselves, and they believe that as the teacher, they have to resolve the issues
for the students (Barli, Curshing, Dietzman, & Leaks). A backbone teacher is best suited to
implement Inner Discipline in their class. Backbone teachers provide the necessary support and
structure for students to reason through their issues. Backbone teachers allow students to make
mistakes, but give them the opportunity to make proper decisions to rectify their mistakes. The
Backbone teacher simply acts as a facilitator, they do not tell the student what to do, nor do they
do it for them, because of this the student learns how to think and act independently (Barli,
Curshing, Dietzman, & Leaks).
Coloroso also introduces what she believes to be six critical life messages for children to
hear on a regular basis from influential adults in their lives. These messages are: I believe in
you; I trust in you; I know you can handle this; youre listened to; youre cared for; and youre
very important to me (Coloroso, 2002). Coloroso elaborates on the importance that kids need to
be listened to. She states that teachers and parents should not simply take a been-there-done-
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that attitude to a child because it can cause the child to feel as though their feelings are not
significant (Coloroso, 2002).
Inner Discipline is acquired through learning how to think, not just what to think
(Charles, 2011). Based on this idea, Coloroso has come up with seven tenants of successful
Inner Discipline, they include: Always treat your students the way in which you want to be
treated; teach students the method in which to make good decisions and accept responsibility for
their bad decisions; keep in mind that any discipline strategy that is implemented by a teacher,
must ensure that both the teacher and the students dignity remain intact; teachers must always
strive to use proper discipline, meaning that they must show students what they have done
wrong, give students ownership over what they did, help provide ideas to the student in whys in
which they can resolve the problem all while keeping the dignity intact of both the student and
the teacher; teachers should always strive for win-win solutions to problems; teachers must use
the 3 Rs to help students take responsibility for their misbehavior when it is serious and teachers
must work together with their students to come up with a plan in which the same bad decision
will not be repeated (Tekin & Tugba).
Colorosos model is one that is humanistic and has a central focus on maintaining the
dignity and sense of self-worth to all parties involved. Inner Discipline takes time to implement,
but the payoff in the long run is well worth it for the development of the child. To be successful
in implementing Inner Discipline, it takes a special kind of person who is able to stand firm when
necessary, while still knowing when it is appropriate to bend.
While this theory would certainly take time and patience to implement in a classroom,
successful implementation would lead to a well-organized, respectful classroom in which
students understand that if they break a rule, there will be consequences and they will be held
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responsible to resolve the problem. In a classroom, the teacher would begin the year by
developing rules to guide the class; he or she would hold whole class discussion on these rules,
their implications and the consequences if the rules are not followed. The teacher would also be
clear, from the very beginning that when a rule is broken, he or she is simply going to act as the
facilitator, and the student or students who have contributed to the problem are the ones who will
take responsibility for correcting the problem. It is also the job of the teacher to get the point
across to the students that they are not being punished for making a mistake; sometimes mistakes
can be a helpful way for kids to learn how to do the right thing; rather, kids are being taught
discipline to think through their actions in the future (Coloroso, 2002). Making mistakes does
not equate to punishment, mistakes are ok, as long as they are resolved and learned from by the
offender. The teacher, in successful implementation of Inner Discipline in the classroom would
portray to his or her students that there is no mistake so great that it cannot be solved and
together they will work through anything that may come up (Coloroso, 2002). Teachers will also
strive to help students comprehend that when they have a problem with anything in life, it is
important that they come up with a plan, not an excuse.
My visualization of how specific classrooms using the Inner Discipline model would
unfold in an elementary level class would be that a teacher would gather the class together on the
rug at the beginning of the year and go over the rules and expectations for the upcoming year.
He or she would then explain to the children that the success and fun that they have this year is
going to be left up to them and will depend upon how they choose to act, and the decisions they
choose to make. The teacher would then explain to the children that he or she will only be a
helper in solving the problems, but it will be the responsibility of the child to make right what
they have done wrong. When an instance occurs that a student breaks a rule, the teacher
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maintains his or her composure and without placing judgment or being angry, approaches the
student with what they have done wrong. The teacher may use phrases such as, I know it was
very tempting to do what you did, but do you think it was the right decision to make? He or she
would then require the student to accept responsibility of what they had done by asking the how
they plan to fix the problem and make it right with others who may have been involved. This
may mean a sincere apology, helping to fix something that was damaged, writing a letter of
apology and remorse as well as devising a plan in which the student can implement in order to
keep the action from happening again. When all is said and done, the student should not feel
belittled, embarrassed or threatened, they should however feel as though they have learned a
lesson and have a plan in force so they do not have to go through a similar situation in the future.
The teacher should still have their dignity and sense of accomplishment because they assisted a
child in being self-sufficient and watched them become an active problem solve in their own life,
which is a skill that will be engrained in them for future mistakes.
There are many advantages of this theory, if teachers are able and willing to take the time
and energy necessary to implement it early in their classrooms. Coloroso strongly believes that
students have the ability to take ownership of their problems, the ability to resolve their problems
and she believes that it is necessary for the students to live by the consequences of their
decisions. In going through this process, Coloroso believes that it allows students to take charge
of their lives (Coloroso, 2013). When anyone takes charge of their own life and learns how to
take responsibility for the decisions that they make, the whole environment around them is
impacted in a positive way. When students are able to take responsibility for their actions and
overcome their mistakes by their own doing, there is a strong sense of accomplishment and
pride, which leads to future responsibility and self-control over how they act in future situations
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and the person that they will become. There was little criticism that I was able to find in dealing
with this theory. The few that I was able to find argued that a con of Inner Discipline is that it
lacks rewards, and it may be difficult for it to take effect if students are used to being rewarded
tangibly for positive behavior. The model of Inner Discipline certainly takes time to implement,
and the lack of rewards for students who are otherwise used to being rewarded may cause it to
take longer to get the model functioning (Willis, 1996). Willis also suggests that the success of
Inner Discipline requires a certain type of teacher, who can maintain composure in any situation,
one who knows when to be firm, yet know when to bend, so it is not a model that is for
everyone, because if you dont have the personality and patience to make the model work, the
model simply wont work (1996). My personal feelings regarding this model is that the only
initial con would be the time and energy it would take to implement, but I feel that the benefits
that would come from it would be well worth the time and energy spent early on. I believe that
successful implementation of the Inner Discipline model would eliminate many problems from
arising in the future, because time was taken early on for students to be trained as to what is
expected, and what they will have to deal with if those expectations are not met.
My personal opinion about the theory of Inner Discipline is that it is brilliant! As a
teacher or a parent, we act as influential people in the life of a child; along with teaching them
math, science, reading and history, I feel that we have a responsibility to help them grow as
people who can contribute positively to our society. I really like that Colorosos theory, while
multi-dimensional, is fairly simply in its roots treat people in a way in which you want to be
treated! As a teacher, we are helping to mold a child into whom and what they will one day
become we have the ability to make or break them in so many ways, and it must be taken
seriously. I really like the Coloroso has a technique for handling pretty much any type of child
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or incident. She understands that all children a different and she has established many
techniques within her Inner Discipline model to account for these differences, but the outcome
remains the same keep the child feeling safe and keep their dignity intact.
As a parent, when I look at this model, I not only want to implement it in my parenting
strategies and future teaching methods, but I find myself hoping that my children have teachers
who practice this model. I really want my own kids to grow up taking responsibility for their
mistakes, without being made to feel badly for making mistakes. We all make mistakes, and we
all have to deal with the outcomes of our mistakes how we deal with the outcome of our
mistakes speaks volumes as to who we are as a person and I want my children to grow up with
the mentality that we are nice to everyone, we are tolerant of others, and we understand that
everyone makes mistakes and learns from those mistakes. I believe that if schools were full of
backbone teachers who could successfully implement Inner Discipline, our world would be a
much more peaceful place where people would learn from a young age to not make excuses and
take responsibility for their actions. I believe that the character that could be instilled in children
from a young age could help shape the person in which they grow up to be. I truly believe that
Barbara Colorosos Inner Discipline is exactly what our educational system and children need in
order to be successful in school and in life.






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References

Barli, B., Curshing, M., Dietzman, S., & Leaks, L. (n.d.). Teaching Styles. Retrieved from
http://education.ed.pacificu.edu on September 29, 2013.
Bucer, K., & Manning, M. (2007). Classroom management: Models, applications, and causes.
Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson Education, Inc.
Charles, C.M. (2011). Building classroom discipline (10
th
ed). Boston, MA: Pearson Education,
Inc.
Coloroso, B. (2002). Kids are worth it! Giving your child the gift of inner discipline. New York:
Harper Collins.
Coloroso, B. (2013). Kids are worth it! Retrieved from http://kidsareworthit.com on September
29, 2013.
Managing the classroom. Approaches to classroom management (n.d.). Retrieved from
www.sagepub.com/upm-data/39273_3.pdf on September 30, 2013.
Tekin, G. & Tugba, E. (n.d.). Inner discipline. Retrieved from
http://www.metu.edu.tr/~e133376/proect/inner%Discipline.htm on September 30, 2013.
Willis, S. (1996). Managing todays classroom: Finding alternatives to control and compliance.
Education Update, Volume 38, Number 6.