Achieving Success Through Misfortune
I had enunciated every word with remarkable clarity, and after I was finished, my
classmates began chanting my name. Delivering my first speech that November morning
made me realize I had accomplished something big. Delivering a speech in front of
hundreds is something that I would have never even considered in ninth grade, when I was
haunted by insecurity, fear and cowardice. Although I still battle these demons daily, they
do not harm me as much as they did; now I know how to fight back.
In ninth grade, when every teen becomes highly concerned with self-image and
social success, I became almost completely isolated from the social scene around me. Due
to the severity of my stammer, I felt caged inside a glass enclosure as I observed the world
happening around me. I observed a world from which I was spurned due to my inability to
utter words without embarrassing myself. In my classes, I would live under constant
distress and anxiety, particularly during discussions or even when we read a text and
students were randomly selected to read a paragraph. I think my early high school years
were hellish. My social life was practically nonexistent. I felt overwhelming feelings of
worthlessness and my graded plunged into mediocrity. Having a speech impediment at this
point was symbolic of everything that was wrong with me. I isolated myself into this blue
and tiny universe where the challenged of the world around me seemed impossible to
overcome. I did not make an effort in school. I did not want to hang out with people. I did
not want to speak at all. I still, to some degree, return to this microcosm once in a while. I
fear that my speech impediment can turn me into an insecure, anxious and depressive
individual.
Later in high school my speech barely improved, and until tenth grade or so, I was
still practically asocial, painfully reclusive and terribly pessimistic. That year, my English
teacher began to persuade me to develop my writing skills. He was very clear when saying
that while I was no virtuoso, he could sense I had a slight vocation for the craft. He would
constantly insist if I tried hard enough, I could ace his course. I would additionally go to his
class once in a while to talk about whatever troubled me, and the topic off my self-
improvement became frequent in our conversations. By this point in my life I had grown
tired of being an outsider and letting my impediment handicap me. I will credit this teacher
for instigating a nation of perseverance in me. That year, when I stuttered and stammered
during presentations, conversations or readings, I would stop, convince and even force
myself to courageously continue speakingI kept going no matter what because someone
now believed in me. My self-esteem improved and I became convinced I wanted to change
my life for the better and leave my self-destructive cycle of depression. I convinced myself
I was strong. I still struggled to express my ideas without obfuscating them with my
dysphemia, so with the aegis of school authorities and my English teacher, I helped
establish a student publication that was called The Spectacle.
I felt empowered through writing, and I soon began to actively write about issues
like my disgust for bullfighting, LGBTQ issues, and racism in my societyI still could not
be outspoken about them, but nothing could stop me from writing. Even though a few
classmates read my articles, I used them to show everyone that while my speech was
troubled by a stutter, I could think clearly and was not dumb as many believed. The
impotence and frustration I felt led me to become an activist of some sort, as I sympathized
with other groups that I thought felt similarly oppressed.
I consider my speech impediment has made me a better person. Having a speech
impediment and being unable to properly communicate with others has been a character-
building experience, as it introduced me to the hardships of life and the value of courage. It
is only when one is able to overcome seemingly insurmountable obstacles that a dent is left
in ones character, as it was the case of this impediment that transformed me into a
tenacious fighter. Through this struggle I became tolerant towards other disabilities and
learned to always see the best qualities of a person. In addition, facing this daily struggle
transformed me into a more courageous and perseverant individual. It helped develop in me
an unshakable desire to overcome the hindrances that may come my way, and while I still
suffer of bouts of depression and anxiety, the notion of self-worth this struggle helped me
develop always helps me surmount the tribulations of life.
