G.A.

Reid

ASSOCIATION

5
Copyright © G.A. Reid (2015)

The right of G.A. Reid to be identified as author of this work has

been asserted by her in accordance with section 77 and 78 of the
Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be

reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any
form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying,
recording, or otherwise, without the prior permission of the
publishers.

Any person who commits any unauthorized act in relation to this

publication may be liable to criminal prosecution and civil claims
for damages.

Although this work is based on a true story, all characters, names,

places and incidents appearing in this work are fictitious.
Any resemblance to actual events or real persons, living or dead,
is purely coincidental.

A CIP catalogue record for this title is available from the British
Library.

ISBN 9781784551797

www.austinmacauley.com

First Published (2015)

Austin Macauley Publishers Ltd.
25 Canada Square
Canary Wharf
London
E14 5LB

Printed and bound in Great Britain

6
 CHAPTER 1

BANG! BANG! BANG! Rebecca shot up in bed and grabbed

her mobile phone squinting as she looked at the time...
620AM. She heard the noise again. BANG! BANG! BANG!
Someone or something was bashing on the front door.
Rebecca got up and stumbled to the window, disorientated,
still trying to wake up. She pulled the curtain slightly to one
side and looked out through the window down to the
pavement outside. Seven men and a woman were standing
there. One man looked up as Rebecca peered down. They
locked eyes, he held up a badge from around his neck and
shouted, ‘POLICE!’ Rebecca let go of the curtain and grabbed
her dressing down as she walked downstairs to open the door.
She was just on autopilot – her body was moving but she
wasn’t registering what was happening. She wasn’t even able
to think ... has something happened to somebody? Is a
member of my family hurt? What are they doing here? It was
as if her mind was blank.
She opened the front door.
‘Rebecca Turner?’ the man who held up the badge said.
‘Yes,’ she replied slowly. He was an old rough looking
man with an earring in his left ear. He had balding grey hair
and a wrinkled, weathered face with sagging jowls. ‘Come in,’
Rebecca asked as she opened the door wider.
The seven men and woman trooped into the front room.
‘Sit down.’ Rebecca gestured towards the sofa as she offered
them a seat. It was a natural reaction. The reality of the

7
situation still hadn’t hit her. The men looked at each other
uncomfortably as if it wasn’t appropriate to accept. Rebecca
noticed the look then realised something was seriously wrong.
‘I’m DC Moran,’ said the old officer who had done all the
talking so far. He stepped towards Rebecca. ‘I’m here to arrest
you. I’m arresting you on suspicion of perverting the course of
justice in the case of Suri Lee and further arresting you on
suspicion of assisting Raj Lee to put money from drug dealing
into cars and property. I have to caution you. You do not have
to say anything but it may harm your defence if you do not
mention when questioned something which you later rely on
in court. Anything you do say may be given in evidence.’
‘OK,’ Rebecca replied slowly, not quite believing what
was happening to her.
‘You don’t look very shocked, were you expecting us?’
one officer commented snidely. Rebecca just looked at the
officer and said nothing. Nothing was registering. It was as if
she could see what was happening but could not feel any
emotion about it. She couldn’t cry, she couldn’t scream, she
couldn’t even think of anything to ask.
‘Where is all your paperwork on Raj Lee?’ asked the
officer who had made the earlier comment.
‘Paperwork? I don’t have any. We broke up years ago,’
she managed to reply. She was confused. Why would she have
any paperwork on Raj Lee? What was going on? What did the
police think was going on?
The officers began to disperse around the house looking
through any draw, box or cupboard they came across. DC
Moran told Rebecca to go and get dressed. She would have to
come to the station.
She walked upstairs and asked the female officer standing
at the top of the stairs, who had been assigned to supervise
her, if she was allowed to brush her teeth. It probably seemed
like a ridiculous question but Rebecca remembered clients
telling her that they were taken straight to the station and not
allowed to get changed or washed beforehand. Strangely,

8
brushing her teeth seemed to be the most important thing right
now. In the scheme of things this concern was completely
irrational but it seemed normal to her right now. Rebecca tried
to be practical. She remembered clients moaning about being
absolutely freezing in the cells; she put on two jumpers, a
coat, scarf and gloves. Rebecca got dressed in a zombie-like
state whilst the female officer waited outside her bedroom
watching her. When she was ready she walked down stairs
with the officer following her uncomfortably closely behind.
She was a particularly unattractive woman, very tall with a
large bottom. She had pale freckly skin with a hair lip. Her
speech was slightly slurred with a lisp.
Rebecca was escorted to an unmarked blue Astra parked
outside her home. DC Moran opened the back passenger door
and she got in. DC Moran got into the driver’s seat and the
female officer got into the front passenger seat. No one spoke.
Rebecca just stared out of the window. The reality of what
was happening still hadn’t hit her.

9
 CHAPTER TWO

Rebecca heard the postman at the door. She ran down the
stairs and picked up the bundle of letters from the floor behind
the door. As she shuffled through the letters she spotted one
addressed to her with a London postmark. She just knew it
was it. It was exactly what she had been waiting two weeks
and 3 days for...every morning. She sprinted upstairs and left
the other letters on the dining room table as she passed. She
jumped on her bed, letter in hand, took a deep breath and
opened it.
Dear Miss Turner, I am pleased to inform you that you
have a place at The School of Law beginning September 2001.
Rebecca screamed and read on.
You will be taking a full time place on the Bar Vocational
Course.
Rebecca had always wanted to be a barrister. Since she
could talk everyone had always said she could argue black
was white. Her dream was finally coming true. All the hard
work was beginning to pay off. The countless essays, days and
days of study and hours of revision and exams. The School of
Law was the best law school in the country and was regarded
highly by all the reputable barristers, QCs and judges. It had
been the only school to run the bar course for many years and
was where most of the more established barristers were
trained. Rebecca knew that her family, especially her mum
and dad, would be so proud of her. They encouraged her to go

10
into law and had supported her emotionally and financially
through university. She had worked part time since she was
fifteen years old at a local leisure centre with a bowling alley,
cinema and restaurants but had still had to depend on her
parents to help her pay her way. Things were just so
expensive. They had had to pay her university fees as she
simply could not afford them on her wage. She knew that her
parents had to be the first people she would tell the good news
to. She ran down stairs and grabbed the phone. She called her
mother at work.
‘That’s fantastic! Brilliant!’ said Anne. ‘This is the first
step!’ Anne had such faith and confidence in Rebecca. She
had never doubted for one minute that Rebecca wouldn’t
make it as a barrister or that she wouldn’t be successful.
Rebecca finished the call and rang her father, Peter. He was at
work too.
‘Well done,’ he said, ‘I really am pleased.’ Rebecca was
pleased too, in fact she was over the moon. She could see her
dream was within her grasp now.
Rebecca always had a strong friendship group and was
very close to her younger sister, Marie. They were close in
age and so had similar interests. Although they were very
different in personality and bickered like sisters do, they were
best friends. Close as close could be. They shared everything.
Rebecca had always been the social organiser of the group.
She was a social butterfly. She was a very happy, bubbly
person who rarely let anything bother her. She cared about her
friends and family very much and would do anything to help
any of them. She was always the one that people went to
should they need a shoulder to cry on or a lift to the train
station. Rebecca liked that she was a reliable friend and that
she had so many people that she cared about and who cared
for her in return. Her friends were ones that she had had for
many years. They had grown up together and knew each other
inside out.
Every weekend the group of girls went out into town and
partied like all twenty-one-year-olds did. Lots of alcohol, lots

11
of dancing and lots of laughs. They were at an age when they
could party Thursday to Sunday and never seem to have a
hangover. They all loved the party scene and were regular
faces in the bars, pubs and clubs in town. The group of ten
girls always included Rebecca, Marie, Jennifer, Nicola,
Annette and Anita. They were the members of the group that
you could guarantee would be out almost every night enjoying
themselves.
‘Menzies? Where is it again?’ Marie asked Rebecca.
‘It’s the old church. It’s been done up and turned into a
club! Opening night is Thursday and guess who has some
tiiiiccccckkkkeeetttts?’ Rebecca grinned as she fanned open
six tickets in front of Marie’s face.
‘OOOhhhhh count me in!’ Marie squealed.
Rebecca lived with her family including Marie in a semi-
detached house near the centre of town. Her parents owned a
house in the north where they spent most weekends. The girls
all started any night out at Rebecca’s house. It was a ritual.
They had a few drinks, gave each other outfit advice and
sorted out each other’s hair. Thursday night was no different.
One by one the girls arrived dressed to the nines and ready to
party. After the usual hair and outfit fiasco they left – later
than planned, as usual, and went straight to the club. Leaving
the house that night no one had any idea that something so
significant was about to happen.
As they stood in the queue the girls chatted away and saw
friendly familiar faces from the local area. They got into the
club and were having a fantastic night dancing and drinking
together.
After a dance it was time for another drink. ‘My round,’
Rebecca yelled. ‘Same?’ Everyone nodded and carried on
dancing. Rebecca made her way to the bar and saw that it was
three people deep. She was undeterred. She was used to this
and she had something to celebrate. Rebecca squeezed in
between people to the bar. She turned to her left and said,
‘Hi,’ to the unknown male standing next to her. This was a
little distraction technique Rebecca used so that people didn’t

12
focus on the fact that she had just pushed past so many people
queuing. Be friendly and chat, that was her plan. She had
never seen this man before which was quite unusual in the
town. He must be here for the opening night she thought to
herself. He smiled at her and she smiled back. He was a tall
Asian male about 6’2 with dark hair and dark features.
Rebecca liked him almost immediately. She felt drawn to him
somehow. They chatted while they waited for their drinks. No
uncomfortable silences. Of course this could have had
something to do with the alcohol she had consumed but
Rebecca felt it was more than this. The man told her his name
was Raj. After Rebecca had bought the drinks for her friends,
she took them over... ‘Just chatting to a hottie!!!’ She laughed
as she returned to Raj who was waiting. They spent the night
chatting, laughing and joking. She had a good time with him.
There was a definite connection between them. A chemistry
that just couldn’t be described. As the night came to an end
Raj asked for Rebecca’s number. Why not? she thought, We
got on well - what harm it could do? How wrong could she
be?

13
 CHAPTER THREE

Rebecca was running around trying to find the top she wanted
to wear. Raj was picking her up in ten minutes for their first
date. They had been texting and talking on the phone for over
a week and had finally made arrangements to meet up. She
had no idea where they were going but she felt a bit nervous.
She had butterflies in her stomach. She heard a car pull up
outside and heard a beep. She looked through the window and
saw a dark blue car with Raj sitting behind the wheel. She
shouted goodbye and ran out to the car.
‘Hi.’ She giggled as she got in the car.
‘Where do you want to go?’ he asked. They decided to go
for a drink in the city. On the journey Raj’s phone rang with
friends asking him what he was up to. He told them he would
be around later on in the evening to play pool. Rebecca
thought he must have been expecting a short date as it was
already late afternoon. That doesn’t sound promising she
thought. They went into a bar and chatted over a drink. Raj
told her he bought and sold cars for a living. He had his own
business and seemed to know what he was talking about.
Rebecca told Raj about her plans to become a barrister and her
dream to work in criminal defence. They chatted for what
seemed like minutes. When Rebecca looked at her watch she
saw they had been in the bar for hours.
‘Don’t you have to meet your friends?’ she asked.

14
 ‘Why? What time is it?’ he replied. Raj couldn’t believe
how quickly the time had gone. They headed back to town.
Both of them had had a great time. Rebecca could tell. They
felt so comfortable with each other right from the start.
As time went on Raj and Rebecca spent more and more
time together. They started seeing each other officially. They
still had their weekend nights out separately with their friends
and spent the day time apart when Rebecca started Law
School. They were just like any normal couple going to the
cinema or out for meals. The main difference was that Raj’s
parents were not told about Rebecca. Raj was a Sikh and his
parents wanted him to marry someone from the same religion
and caste. It was what was expected of him as the oldest boy
in the family. It did not really bother Rebecca at first as the
relationship was not necessarily going anywhere. It hadn’t got
to the stage where she wanted to meet or know anything about
his family. It was the honeymoon stage and she was just
enjoying being with him. She used to drop Raj off around the
corner from his house so that his family did not see her. Once
or twice there had been a near miss when she had dropped him
off and his sisters had driven up the road. She had had to duck
down to avoid being seen. Raj always seemed flustered
afterwards. He always told her that his parents wouldn’t
accept her. They had already tried to set him up with people
for an arranged marriage in the past and he had refused to go
home and meet his prospective bride. Raj had never been
interested in girls, he simply had just not bothered. He had
never had a long term relationship and had never wanted one
until now. Raj didn’t try to hide Rebecca in public but would
avoid places where he might be seen by family or family
friends who would report back. Rebecca didn’t really know
anything about Raj’s family. She knew he had an older and
younger sister and a brother but that was only because she had
asked questions. He had never volunteered information to her
about them. She saw that he was like this with everyone. He
never discussed his family with anyone. Their issues and
problems stayed between them only. If Rebecca asked
questions he would often say she was cross examining him –

15
like in her studies. He would tell her things were none of her
business. Rebecca knew other Asian families in the local area
who were similar in their values and so didn’t think anything
of it. He was just a very private person. She accepted that. He
wasn’t a gossip and wouldn’t really talk about other people.
Raj once told Rebecca that his sister had had a baby, but he
had never even mentioned that she was pregnant. This was
typical of Raj and Rebecca got used to it. It was just the way
he was. She put a lot of it down to his culture and how he had
been brought up. Just like the fact that he couldn’t tell his
family about her, it was just the way it was. The cultural
differences didn’t seem to be a real problem at the beginning
but as time went on they became more obvious. This was
mainly in respect to their morals and values.
Raj kept his friends almost completely separate from
Rebecca; he also didn’t mix with her friends. Rebecca was
only twenty-two and this suited her. She was happy to go out
with friends at the weekend and leave Raj with his friends.
They never mixed in couples. Rebecca’s friends didn’t really
get to know Raj because of this and his friends did not get to
know her. There were a couple of friends of Raj that Rebecca
realised she knew before they got together. She got on well
with them but saw them rarely and only when Raj allowed
them to mix. Rebecca was happy with things being separate, it
suited her lifestyle. She was a social butterfly who was always
out with friends and family. She liked that Raj wasn’t needy
and dependent on her and had his own life to deal with.
After about six months together problems began in the
relationship. The first flush of love and excitement was over
and reality was beginning to settle in. Raj had started to
become depressed. He would be quite off with Rebecca at
times and they started seeing each other less and less. A few
times a week they would meet up for a few hours but Rebecca
always felt that she irritated him and he did not enjoy the time
they spent together. Doing things together had become more
of a chore and she sometimes dreaded seeing him. She never
knew how he would be with her from one day to the next.

16
 One day Rebecca picked him up and, out of the blue, he
told her that he didn’t know how he felt about her anymore.
He didn’t know if he loved her or not. He told her it was over.
Rebecca cried and asked if this was for good and if this was a
permanent split. She needed to know if this was just him
having a bad day taking things out on her. Over the months
they had joked with each other and told half truths. The other
person would only know that it was a lie if the other person
wouldn’t say ‘I swear’. It sounded silly but it was their little
thing that meant something to them both. You never say I
swear if you are not telling the truth. ‘Swear it’s over for
good?’ Rebecca asked.
‘I’m not doing that,’ Raj replied.
‘Please,’ she said, ‘then I can deal with it and accept it.’
Despite her pleading Raj would not swear it was for good. It
was a way of keeping Rebecca hanging, hoping that things
could be sorted out and they could be together again. Raj got
out of the car and left Rebecca devastated and confused. He
had been so cold and had thought nothing of telling her he
didn’t love her any more. Those words broke Rebecca’s heart.
She cried herself to sleep that night. Rebecca had always been
a confident, happy person but her relationship with Raj was
making her insecure. She was changing as a person because
she was so unhappy. She was miserable with her family and
was snappy and irritable most of the time. They were starting
to notice that she wasn’t herself. They were getting the brunt
of her misery and she was pushing them away, becoming
more and more distant with them.
Weeks went by without any word from Raj. Rebecca had
lost weight from the split, she was so unhappy. She realised
that she would have to get on with her life without him. She
loved him so it was so hard to do. She didn’t attempt to
contact Raj. In her eyes if someone tells you they don’t love
you and don’t want to be with you any more there is no point
discussing things and going over and over it in your head.
You just have to face up to it and get on with your life no
matter how much it hurts.

17
 Rebecca had spent the last few Saturday nights, as usual,
at Menzies with Marie, Nicola, Jennifer and Anita. Rebecca
had slowly started to enjoy herself again and could relax as
she knew that she wouldn’t have to face Raj as he always
socialised with his friends out of the town these days.
Anne and Peter had relocated to their house up north.
They had sold the family home and arranged for Rebecca and
Marie to rent a flat together. Rebecca was excited. Living with
Marie was going to be fun. They were both single now and
could enjoy going out and socialising together. Although she
would miss Anne and Peter, she was relieved that she
wouldn’t have to live with them. Her emotions were so up and
down that she found herself snapping at everyone. Everyone
aggravated her. She knew it wasn’t them. It was her. She was
taking her heartbreak out on them but she just couldn’t seem
to stop herself. It was coming between her and her family. At
least if Anne and Peter weren’t around, she couldn’t take
things out on them.
After a month of being single, the girls all headed out into
town. They had visited the usual bars and seen the same
regular people. They ended up in Menzies. As the night went
on Rebecca spotted a familiar figure across the club. It was
Raj. Rebecca’s stomach turned, she had butterflies. What the
hell was he doing here? She told all her friends that she had
seen him.
‘Right we are going.’ ‘He’s only come here to ruin your
night.’ They all chipped in.
They made their way to the other side of the club. As they
were walking Raj approached Rebecca with a single red rose.
‘I’m sorry,’ he said as he held the rose towards her. ‘I was just
depressed, I didn’t know what I was saying.’
Rebecca knew she shouldn’t make it that easy for him but
she couldn’t stop herself. She smiled and took the rose.
‘That’s okay,’ she said.
It wasn’t OK really. Raj had no idea how devastated she
had been. No idea how much she had cried or how little she
had eaten. She remembered waking up one morning and

18
forgetting it all for just a second and then it all came flooding
back. It felt like it had happened all over again. No one could
really understand how she felt unless they had been hurt like
that themselves.
Things carried on with Raj and Rebecca for the next few
weeks with them getting on well just like at the beginning.
Marie wasn’t so fond of Raj. She couldn’t really forgive him
for hurting her sister. She had had to live with Rebecca during
those few weeks and had seen with her own eyes how much
he had hurt her. Her feelings towards Raj just made Rebecca
push her away. She stopped talking to her sister about her
relationship as she didn’t want her sister to hate him.
After a few weeks things started to deteriorate between
the couple again. Raj once again became distant and Rebecca
felt more of a nuisance than a girlfriend, asking when she
would see him next and hearing his reply... ‘Not two days in a
row.’ She used to feel angry that he could be jokey and happy
in front of all his friends and then was quiet and miserable
with her. He used to tell her that was how he really felt all the
time and that he could be himself with her. Lucky her, she
thought. He was depressed again. Sure enough Raj told
Rebecca he didn’t want to be with her any more. She felt that
same pain again. He told her it was for good and said maybe
they should see other people. She said she didn’t want to. The
thought of him doing that made her feel physically sick. Once
again Raj wouldn’t swear that it was over for good. This
meant Rebecca always had a slight bit of hope that they could
reconcile.
Contact stopped from that day. Rebecca’s friends and
family once again had to see her cope with her heartbreak and
struggle to carry on with her studies and part time job. Sure
enough two months on Raj turned up again, just as Rebecca
was starting to feel herself again. He came with his sorrys and
his excuses that he was depressed. He said this time he needed
to get help and wanted Rebecca to be there with him. Rebecca
agreed; she put the way he was acting down to his illness. He
said he couldn’t feel emotions about anything or anyone.

19
Rebecca thought that if they got him help, he would be back
to the old Raj that she had fallen in love with and the one that
she still saw from time to time when he had a good day.
They went together to see his GP, who prescribed anti-
depressants. At first they worked fantastically and Raj felt
great. Rebecca loved seeing the old him. They spent more
time together as they were getting on so well. The tablet’s
effects soon lessened and Raj’s mood became lower and
lower. Rebecca knew what was coming. ‘I just want to be on
my own.’
Rebecca felt that feeling that had become familiar to her.
The feeling when your heart physically hurts from the upset
and you feel desperate to offer a solution to sort things out.
She knew there was no point. When Raj was like this he
couldn’t be persuaded to think things through.
Weeks on, a note was pushed through Rebecca’s door.
Rebecca ring me, I understand if you don’t.
Enough is enough Rebecca thought, I’m not ringing him.

20
 CHAPTER FOUR

Rebecca was sitting in her flat forcing herself to eat her

dinner. Her appetite was all over the place. When she was
happy it was fine but during her breakups with Raj it was a
struggle to eat. As she pushed the food around her plate she
heard a car beep outside. She didn’t turn around at first. The
car continued to beep faster and faster. She turned and looked
out of the window. Raj was outside in his car. He had seen her
turn. He knew that she had seen him. He kept on beeping and
beckoned her through his driver’s window. She just ignored
him and turned back around. What is he doing? she thought.
Seconds later Rebecca’s phone started to ring. She looked at
the screen and saw it was Raj. She answered.
‘Please,’ he begged, ‘I just don’t know what’s wrong with
me. I keep having panic attacks. I can’t even drive without
feeling claustrophobic. I need your help. I need to go and see
someone. Please.’
He sounded so distraught and upset. She couldn’t just turn
him away. ‘I’ll come down,’ Rebecca said. She had no
emotion in her voice. She was just so tired of all the drama.
She went outside and got in the car. She didn’t say a
word. ‘Can we go and walk?’ Raj pleaded. They walked up to
a park where Raj told Rebecca that he had been having panic
attacks. ‘I can’t carry on like this.’ He sobbed. He asked if she
could help him find someone to go and see. Rebecca knew she
should tell him he wasn’t her problem any more but felt that

21
she couldn’t leave him when he had come to her at his most
vulnerable. ‘I’m just not myself,’ he explained, ‘but I love you
and have really missed you.’ Rebecca accepted what he was
saying just like she always did. He never really had to work
hard to get her back. He used his health and vulnerability. She
didn’t have the heart to cut him off no matter how many times
he had done it to her.
Rebecca set about trying to find names of consultants that
Raj could be referred to. She had a feeling that Raj needed her
and she had to stand by him no matter what he had put her
through.
So the pattern continued, month after month, year after
year. They spent as much time apart as they did as a couple.
Rebecca was dropped and picked up whenever Raj felt like it.
He had no regard for how it was affecting her or how
traumatic it was every time. Even at their best times, Raj
never made Rebecca feel loved. She started to feel insecure
and was constantly on egg shells always waiting for the next
time he would leave her. Raj never showed her any affection.
She put this down to his culture, where it would be unusual
for his family to hug or tell each other that they cared. Most
men Rebecca had dated did not talk about their emotions but
Raj was on a different scale.
From one day to the next Rebecca did not know how he
felt about her. His actions suggested that he did not care. He
prioritised his friends and did not seem to enjoy the time they
spent together. Despite all this Rebecca could not leave him.
He had a hold over her that she simply could not break. She
justified this to herself by saying that she could trust him
100% and that he would never cheat on her. Rebecca
rationalised that that would be the worst thing he could do to
her. As Raj paid no attention to other females Rebecca
strangely felt that she was lucky to have him. It was perverse
but she couldn’t see it.
Raj frequently put her down so that her confidence was
low... ‘Fat little shit, look at your chipped tooth.’ He would
laugh at her. She never wanted him to see her not looking her

22
best so always had her hair and make-up done whenever she
saw him. It wasn’t the real her but she couldn’t bear him to
see her naturally. She wasn’t confident enough. He never paid
her any compliments... she just felt unattractive all the time.
He used to talk about how attractive he was and that just made
her feel worse. I’m punching way above my weight here, she
thought. He’s way out of my league. He had completely
managed to manipulate her. He had changed her from a
strong, independent, bubbly individual to an insecure,
unhappy girl. She barely recognised herself but couldn’t seem
to get herself out of it. It was indescribable.
One evening Raj had reluctantly agreed to drop Rebecca
and her friends off to a club out of town. He had picked them
all up from Rebecca’s house. They were all so excited about
going somewhere new. Rebecca was wearing a brown suede
skirt that she had bought to wear with her boots. She was
excited about Raj seeing her dressed up. She hoped he might
even say she looked nice. As she got into the car she could tell
he was not happy. He was quiet all the way to the club and
pulled away when she tried to touch his hand. He didn’t say
anything until Rebecca’s friends had got out of the car. ‘What
are you wearing?’ he spat with disgust.
‘Er, my new skirt?’ she stuttered.
‘You’re a slag wearing that, you’re embarrassing me. Get
out, it’s over.’ He looked away. Rebecca did not know what to
do. She felt desperate. She felt a lump in her throat and she
fought back tears. She couldn’t leave her friends and go home
to change when they had travelled together so far out of town.
She tried to reason with him but he repeatedly told her to get
out. She got out of the car in tears. Her night was ruined and
her relationship was over yet again.
Raj wouldn’t like Rebecca wearing skirts or dressing up
when she went out. He would put her down and threaten to
finish with her if she dressed like that. He was slowly
controlling every aspect of her life.
Issues continued to occur between the couple. Raj had
humiliated Rebecca publicly so many times that it just became

23
the norm for her now. She worried that people would be
laughing at her behind her back. She knew that people must
think she was stupid to put up with it. It was damaging her
relationships with her friends. They told her home truths that
even though she knew herself deep down, she wasn’t ready to
hear from other people. She reacted by distancing herself from
everyone. She stopped telling them when Raj had made her
cry or let her down.
Rebecca always wanted to spend birthdays together but
Raj wanted to be with his friends. They were his priority.
Rebecca managed to persuade Raj to let her come out with his
friends. The friends that Raj was so eager to spend his
birthday with Rebecca had never met before. They had been
dating for the past two years and she still found out new things
about him every day.
Once they got into Menzies Rebecca took everyone’s
orders and went to the bar. She was really trying with Raj’s
friends. She wanted them to like her. ‘Maybe he will let me
come out more with him if we all have a good time?’ she
reasoned with herself.
Her phone rang. It was Anita. ‘Where are you?’ she asked.
‘I’m in Menzies with Raj,’ Rebecca replied cheerily.
‘Raj is in here,’ replied Anita confused. Anita was in
another local club round the corner. Rebecca felt humiliated
and angry. ‘Right, I’m coming there.’ She could not believe
that Raj had just left her in a nightclub on her own. Why had
he done that? Everything was going well? She didn’t
understand.
She stormed into the club and saw Raj straight away near
the bar. She marched up to him and screamed, ‘I hate you!
Why did you just leave me?’ He just laughed at her as she was
pulled away by her friends. The door staff told her to calm
down. She looked like the crazy one. She looked like she was
the one in the wrong. She felt completely humiliated again. He
had obviously persuaded his friends to leave with him,
knowing she had gone to the bar to get them all a drink. He
did not care about her feelings at all.

24
 She left the club in tears comforted by Anita. ‘Why do
you put up with it?’ Anita asked.
‘I honestly don’t know.’ She sobbed.
Rebecca was always crying and upset throughout the
relationship. Rebecca’s friends disliked Raj. He made no
effort to change their opinion and spent very little time, if any,
with her close friendship group. He didn’t care about what
Rebecca cared about. He wasn’t bothered if her friends liked
him or not. They were irrelevant to him despite them being so
important to Rebecca. She wanted them to all get on but she
knew he would never make the effort to do that. Each
conversation Rebecca had with her friends about Raj
described the arguments they had had or how he was treating
her at that time.
Things started to change nearly three years into the
relationship. Raj was arrested for fighting after a night out in
town. Rebecca was never there when he got into any trouble.
He had just told her his side after the event. She knew he had
a temper from time to time but put it down to a combination
of stupid male ego and alcohol. On most nights out there were
fights in town, they became the norm and so no one saw them
as a big deal. Rebecca rarely saw Raj out.
One night Raj told Rebecca that he had been bitten on the
hand by a friend of a friend after a row. He said he had
retaliated by punching the guy in the face. The police had
arrived and arrested him. Raj was charged with assault.
Rebecca saw the bite mark on Raj’s hand and took him to
hospital for a tetanus injection. Raj thought he might be able
to sort things out with the guy amicably without having to go
to court. Despite Rebecca advising him to leave it, he told
Rebecca that he was going to see the guy with the mutual
friend to try and patch things up. Raj went and said sorry to
the guy. The guy said it was in the police’s hands now but
accepted Raj’s apology and shook his hand.
The next day, the police attended Raj’s home address and
arrested him for witness intimidation. The guy had reported
that although Raj did not threaten him, he felt intimidated that

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