4 THE SAND OF THE DESERT... .... is sodden red Red with the wreck of a square that broke; The Gatling’s jammed and the Colonel dead, And the Regiment blind with dust and smoke. From Sir Henry Newbolt’s Vitai Lampada, written at the end of the last century, those lines referred to that most evocative of all Colonial Wars — the Sudan Expedition to get Gordon out of Khartoum — and the Battle of Abu Klea, fought on 17 January 1885. The ‘Colonel’ was ‘The True Blue’ Fred Burnaby of the Blues, in the Desert on sick-leave, fighting outside the square with a double-barrelled 12-bore loaded with pig shot; and it was a Gardner gun that jammed, not a Gatling. A mere four lines but sufficient to stir the imagination and suggest what it was like to be a British soldier in a small unsuitably equipped expedition taking on vastly superior numbers of Dervishes, Sikhs, Zulus, or a host of other warrior-races, fanatical fighters in their own completely alien terrain when annihilation was the only alternative to victory. Incomparably colourful through the amazing variety of opponents, Regulars and native auxiliaries; by the varied dress, weapons, terrain, leaders and backgrounds, Colonial Warfare is tailor-made for wargaming. Providing scope for dashing — almost outrageous rules - it is the territory of the audacious wargamer, the chancer or gambler, the player whose nature and temperament is unsuited for more orthodox modes of warfare. This wargamer will be in his element controlling large numbers of lightly-armed, highly mobile native warriors darting around the wargames table. Not for such a player the complaint of inequality that discourages wargamers from leading native armies; rather he skilfully employs every inch of movement bestowed upon them by the rules, always remembering how the Afghans won at Maiwand, the Boers at Laings Nek and the Zulus at Isandhiwana — feats well within reach on the wargames table. Or he might fancy himself in the heroic role as commander of a far smaller force, effectively massing his extra firepower while demonstrating the coolness, courage and control of a Roberts or a Wolseley. Throughout the Victorian years, men from every County in Britain, in redcoats or dusky khaki, marched in slow-moving columns, elephants jostling camels, bullocks plodding with donkey and yaks, mules carrying the little mountain-guns 53 A wargame attack on a North West Frontier tribe's villageVictorian Colonial Campaigns — the first Sikh War 184516 ‘The Boer War 1899-1902 Like the Spanish-American War, the Boer War cannot be considered as a typically Colonial campaign because white ‘men were facing each other with relatively modern weapons. Although bloody, the war proved little of military value except to prove that modern rifles in the hands of skilled marksmen had ended the day of daylight tactics involving formed bodies of soldiers in the open. On the other hand, the expansive terrain, the climate and the absence of modern transport perpetuated a number of false conclusions as to the role of cavalry in modern warfare. Although untrained in the military sense the Boers were formidable opponents, Exceptionally mobile on their horses, the South African farmers fought mainly on foot, usually from concealed defensive positions. They formed themselves into commandos, small hard riding groups of bearded, slouch hatted farmers with cartridge belts around their shoulders. These commandos ‘would swoop down upon British ‘camps, shoot them up and be away before any resistance could be organised against them. It was a war of movement in ‘which formal drill was litle use against crackshots hidden in invisible trenches. This meant that the British had to adopt Boer methods and mounted infantry units were hastily formed. ‘The later stages of the Boer War consisted of guerilla warfare which was slowly defeated by a systems of garrisoned block continued ‘THE SAND OF THE DESERT clattered and jingled. Under dashing commanders such as Lord Charles Beresford, boisterous, straw-hatted sailors and Marines dragged Gatling and Gardner guns through the sands of the Sudan; during the Indian Mutiny, Captain Peel of HMS Shannon and his sailors manhandled huge naval guns to Cawnpore and Lucknow, and the 4.7 naval guns brought ashore during the Boer War and the Boxer Rising provided a piquant note to an already colourful period. In this heyday of Colonial Wars, the British soldier took on ~ and usually defeated ~ Afghans, Africans, Afridis and Asians; Baluchis and Boers; Fanatics and Fuzzy Wuzzies Kaffirs; Kings, Princes, Rajahs and Chiefs; Mahrattas, Maoris Mandarins, Monks and Mullahs; Pathans, Sikhs, Zulus and even rebellious Canadian half-breeds. Some of these expeditions were by disciplined soldiers against savage or semi-civilised races, aimed at adding their territory to that of the Crown, campaigns of annexation usually against the warriors of a specific ruler as in Sind in 1843, against the Sikhs in 1846 and 1848, or to curb King Thebaw of Burma in 1885. After hard fighting, operations frequently developed into operations of suppression involving ambushes and guerilla warfare, resulting in stern and savage reprisals. Sometimes an expedition went out to avenge a wrong or wipe-out an insult — as in the Abyssinian Expedition of 1868; or to overthrow a dangerous or troublesome enemy; although ‘not the original intention, frequently they ended by bringing vast new territories under British rule. Most of the expeditions on the Indian Frontier were in this category. many resulting in the offending territory being annexed; it was also the case in the Zulu War of 1879. On occasions these campaigns turned into affairs of expediency fought for political reasons, like the two Afghan Wars and the Egyptian War of 1882. Ina sense, Colonial Forces operated like Fire Brigades living 54THE SAND OF THE DESERT within hearing of an alarm-bell whose strident clangour sent them anywhere to quell an outbreak. Colonial small wars were campaigns against Nature as much as the enemy; in climates quite unsuitable for trained European soldiers, losses from sickness were often greater than by fire | and sword, Bush, desert and jungle imposed unusual restric- | tions on commanders; movements and supplies were greatly handicapped by lack of communication, and the armaments and equipment necessary for tactical superiority burdened them with non-combatant services, bases, and lines of com- munication. The strength of civilised forces contained a built-in weakness as — backed by all the resources of science, wealth, manpower and navies — organised regular expeditions found themselves at undoubted tactical and strategical disadvantage in these small wars. Primitive conditions, the singular features of the theatre of operations, relatively little knowledge of the fighting qualities of the enemy and his methods of warfare and weapons, all combined to make Colonial warfare quite different to the regular warfare of the period, where both sides were governed by accepted common rules. All manner of opponents were met, all fighting in a different way — some being trained and organised like Regular troops as the Egyptian Army of Arabi Pasha in 1882; and the Sikhs of the Punjab, arguably the best organised and hardest fighting native army encountered during the Victorian period, trained by experienced European houses at regular intervals, dividing the country into relatively easily controlled sections. The basic situations of the Boer War can provide a most stimulating tabletop campaign in which one force, wholly mounted, can combat against a regular army of infantry. cavalry and artillery, the increased mobility of the mounted men ‘enabling them to complete vast may their Cavatry against Zulus ~ Battle of Ulundi (Zulu War) 1879A Colonial wargame involving North West Frontier tribesmen THE SAND OF THE DESERT mercenaries, their artillery ranked among the best in the world at the time. The Zulus were a well controlled and organis: army, capable of carrying out manoeuvres with order and precision, although using primitive weapons; and in the Indian Mutiny of 1857, the enemy consisted of vastly superior numbe: of soldiers trained and disciplined in the British manner, acti cohesively as formed regiments, but badly led. All fought quite differently to the no-less formidable Afghans Ashantis, Boers, Chinese, Dervishes and Maoris, while Sudane: and the Afghan Ghazi lacked the discipline of the Zulu b fought with a bravery and recklessness rendering useless tacti successful against conventional opponents and forcing a Britis return to the long discarded Square formation. The Kaffirs of Africa possessed lower levels of courage and were poorly armed but proved most difficult to subdue when utilising natura! advantages of bush and jungle. The turbulent North West Fron tier of India, a running-sore for a century, provided experien of active service conditions to generations of British soldie: otherwise dragging out their lives in Britain, around grimy bar- racks or ancient forts and castles. In their familiar harsh terrain. belligerent, brave and tactically brilliant tribesmen, crack-shots with stolen or ‘home-made’ rifles, flitted like fanatical ghosts. During the late 1870s and early 1880s, over a three years period and in one single quarter of the African Continent, British troops came successively into conflict with the astonishingly dif- ferent methods of warfare employed by Kaffirs, Zulus and BoersTHE SAND OF THE DESERT At exactly the same time the regular army was heavily com- mitted on the North-West Frontier and in Afghanistan. Unless the Regulars adapted their fighting-methods to cope with this variety of foes and their different modes of combat, unforseen difficulties and even disaster resulted. The overwhelming Zulu victory at Isandhlwana in 1879 was directly due to a total misconception of the enemy's tactics (made worse by lack of availability of ammunition); reverses in both Boer Wars arose from lack of cavalry, the one essential arm in that type of warfare, Coping with this is part of the fascination of wargaming in the Colonial period, necessitating a knowledge of the varying fighting-styles and adapting game-conditions and rules to repro- duce them, It would be quite out of historical context for Boers to charge en masse in Zulu style, nor would Zulus flit around in bush and jungle like Kaffirs and neither of the coloured groups were armed with rifles that allowed long-range marksmanship in the Boer manner. From the British point of view, the necessary massing in close formation to throw back onrushing Zulus by sheer weight of firepower would be fatal against the accurate shooting of the Boers, when dispersal, cover and perhaps fire- and-support methods would be essential. Of the sixty or so wars and campaigns fought by the Victorian soldier, only one was lost — that against the Boers in 1881 — through misapplied tactics that no self-respecting wargamer would perpetrate on a tabletop battlefield. All British com- manders of the latter part of the 19th century were not of the standard of the ubiquitous Generals Roberts and Wolseley; there were plenty as hidebound as General Colley at Laings Nek in’81 When wargaming these wars it has to be over-emphasis on the power and effect of modern weapons that gives the small British forces any chance against vastly superior numbers of lesser- armed natives. In such moments of stress as combat, whether or not a unit or army stands firm is determined by its morale; this is as important in wargaming as in real life so the quality has to be grafted upon inanimate model soldiers. A prime means of bestowing upon smaller, disciplined forces the ability to defeat much larger groups is by giving them a higher morale rating and allowing that of tribesmen to fluctuate so that they can display extreme bravery tinged with the possibility of breaking and running, and being impetuous so that they courageously attack at tactically unsound times - simulated in wargaming by ‘uncon trolled charges’. More than European troops, native tribesmen often find their morale affected by the death of a chieftain or leader. When there is a known parity of armament (the Sikhs in 1845-6 and 1848) or when fighting European opponents such as the Russians in the Crimea and the Boers in 1881 and 1898-1902 — then only morale differences can make wargaming viable. Lack of numerical balance between opposing forces becomes practical through allowing the smaller, disciplined force advan- 57 Scales ‘The major difficulty when ‘wargaming in the modern era is, that artillery ranges are measured in miles rather than vards! Even World War Il tank battles commenced at ranges of 1,500y¢ (1,370m) and, in the clear air of the desert, this increased to over 3,000y¢ (2,700m). Taking the lower figure of 1,500yd (1,370m) at the common scale of 1:72, the range is approximately 60ft (18m), which cannot be scaled down to the tabletop battlefield. Even at the very small scale of 1:300, ranges of 1,000-3,000yd (900 2,700m) have to be represented by 10-30ft (3-9), For 1:72 scale wargames the Jength of the table should be equal to 2,000yd (1,800m), the maximum range at which tank battles normally took place. With the average 6ft (2m) long table, a suitable ground scale will be 1:1,000. Ifeach game-move reresents 30 seconds of real time then an infantryman will move 2in (50em) per game-move; if it seems slow, remember that most modem infantry rode in trucks, halt-tracks or on tanks. At this scale, time-relationship 1 mile per hour is equal to Yin (12mm) per move (2kph=17mm per move).‘THE SAND OF THE DESERT Colonial wargame around a native village Making them Look Real ~ Painting Model Tanks In World War I no fixed colour pattern appears to have been adopted by any of the combatants. The first British tanks were painted battleship grey, becoming progressively greener as the war progressed. ‘Towards the end of the war British tanks appeared in a ‘camouflage pattern, which included light blue among the dark browns and greys. French. tanks were painted in a camouflage pattern of grey, yellow, green and brown, each Colour delineated by a thick black line; and some were painted in a green and brown pattern, similar to British aireraft in World War I, German tanks were in a mixture of green, lilac continued tageous rules to simulate their superior tactical formations and enhanced firepower. The natural mobility of natives is simulated by longer move-distances; their ferocity and fanaticism at close quarters reflected by giving superior values in hand-to-hand combat (meleés), once they have surmounted the volume of fire they must encounter on their way in, Native foes should be granted facilities within wargame rules and conditions for surprise and ambush in their own familiar terrain. Natives hated cavalry, particularly Lancers (who were also dreaded by the Boers after their early experience against them at Elandslaagte in 1899) - rules should make it difficult for natives to stand against cavalry and, if they break and are pursued, to have a much reduced defensive capacity. Tribesmen disliked artillery fire, so rules should reflect this by forcing them to break easily when under fire, or to back-off out of range or seek cover. Colonial conditions and terrain usually allowed light artillery to be used and Britain won her Empire with the 13pdr 8)scwt 3in calibre field-gun and the mountain guns, carried in separate parts on mules. The hillmen of India’s North-West Frontier said that what they feared was ‘... not the child-rifle but the devil guns which killed half a dozen men with one shell which burst and threw up splinters as deadly as the shots themselves.’ These mountain batteries repeatedly feature in Colonial small wars and their officers claimed that they could go anywhere that a man could go! In 1880 the famous screw-gun (immortalised 58THE SAND OF THE DESERT by Kipling) was introduced with the barrel made in two pieces, which screwed together. Wargaming does not consist only of moving miniature armies on tabletop terrains, it includes the collecting and colouring of regiments of infantry, squadrons of cavalry, batteries of guns, and hordes of tribesmen, which takes time and tends to discourage the belligerent wargamer who wants to get on with the battle. Perhaps the Colonial wargamer has the best of it - painting smaller numbers of Regular troops either in rapidly-applied khaki or a monotony-defeating variety of uni- forms, while native robes (or lack of them) can be handled with complete lack of uniformity in a ‘please yourselt’ attitude. The wise wargamer forms his forces of the greatest variety of types, and the Colonial adherent has a great number of native auxiliary units at his disposal, who are more interesting to paint. Most Colonial campaigns were fought largely with native troops raised from tribes and groups in annexed territories - in their Empire-building days, the British were second to none in their ability to organise and successfully maintain forces recruited from people recently conquered — there are few recorded cases of them failing to co-operate harmoniously and loyally in the years that followed. Initially these Askaris, Hausas and Sepoys were used in their own areas, later in other parts of the Empire = Indian units fought in the Sudan, in Uganda, Nyasaland and Somaliland; West Indians went to West Africa; Central African units to Ashanti, and Nigerians and native troops from the Gold Coast fought in Tanganyika; and Kitchener's Dongola Campaign of 1896-8 was carried out with two British brigades alongside four Egyptian and Sudanese brigades. The latter were recruited prisoners from the Mahdis armies who, after being trained and bullied by sergeants of their own race and colour, set about fighting their former comrades with great enthusiasm! Native units should not be underestimated so far as fighting ability and morale are concerned — just like European units some were better than others, their quality depending upon equipment, standard of training, experience and European commanders — these factors should be taken into account when formulating rules and conditions, just as for European units, Native units were usually issued with obsolete equipment, being armed with Snider rifles when British troops had Martini-Henrys, passed on when the Lee-Metford arrived, which in turn was handed over to native units when the Lee-Enfield came on the scene. The exciting range and scope of Colonial Wars can be extended to wars fought by Foreign Powers in other parts of the world, or in periods outside the Victorian years ~ British and Indian troops were fighting native armies in the 17th century, and the French-and-Indian Wars of the Seven Years’ War are an unusual and colourful project. In a wider sense, Napoleon's 1798 invasion of Egypt was a Colonial War and the wargamer will be attracted by French squares battling against hordes of gaily coloured and wildly courageous Mamelukes, with flotillas or purple, and pink and brown smudges. Between the wars the British employed a medium-green livery, ‘which was rarely camouflaged; armoured cars operating in desert areas were sand colour. French tanks of this period were camouflaged in a green and two- shaded brown smudged mixture, sand colouring being added when appropriate to the terrain in which they were operating. ‘The few German tanks of the inter-war period were painted in varying shades of grey; other countries tended to use a mixture of grey and green as a camouflage pattern. At the outbreak of World War II these colours prevailed, and no new patterns emerged until the Desert War in North Africa, when British and American-made tanks bore a basic sand colour with very little camouflage. The British also used a pinkish sand colour with battleship grey and brown stripes running in various directions. The Long Range Desert Group vehicles were painted sand colour with darker tan markings, Italian tanks and armoured vehicles were a basic sand colour with scattered brown smudges. German vehicles in the Desert were sand- coloured World War Il Russian tanks were painted either grey or a uniform light olive green, presumably dependent on the time of year, with the grey colour predominating during the snowy conditions of the Russian winter. German winter camouflage was a mixture of light greys and greens; otherwise it was dark tan and brown. The Germans employed Zimmerit, a roughened surface paint (giving the appearance of combed-conerete), to prevent Russian sticky-mines adhering to the tank armour. During the Allied invasions of Italy and continuedFrance the basic colour of all vehicles was dark olive green, ‘modified to suit terrain by adding tan. As the Eastern Front moved away from the snowy plains of Russia, tank colours closely resembled those on the Western Front. The Japanese and British tanks in Burma were patterned in striking combinations of dark shades of yellow and light shades of green, Since World War Il the basic colours of armoured forces have been variations in green and green and grey. The ease of spotting armoured vehicles by sophisticated equipment has ‘made camouflage less valuable, but the firing of guns still depends on the eye of the gunlayer, so camouflage has its value, The Russian and Iron Curtain countries tend to use a misture of dark grey and olive green for their tanks; and NATO forces use two shades of greei in a pattern somewhat similar to that of World War Il aircraft. The vehicles of the Arab-Israeli conflicts were usually sand colour. Modem armoured vehicles are sometimes covered with washable distemper paint, 0 that it only takes minutes to recamouflage a vehicle to suit changed ground conditions, as the paint can be washed off with water and a solvent. There are a number of extensive ranges of colours to match the exact shades of World War I model armoured vehicles; also ‘weathering’ paints to simulate dirt, grease and mud. ‘THE SAND OF THE DESERT of French and native boats fighting nearby on the River Nile Colonial campaigns were fought during the 19th and early 20th centuries by France, Germany, Turkey, Russia, Spain, Portugal Belgium, Italy, Japan and the United States, in such far-off places as China, Persia, Cuba and the Philippines. The French fought colourful campaigns in North Africa from about 1836 onwards. then in Tonkin and Indo-China, and parts of West Africa, employ- ing many exotic military formations — Foreign Legion. Chasseurs d’Afrique, Spahis, Zouaves, Turcos, Marines and the Colonial light infantry, camel and mule mounted troops, and native Algerians, Senegalese, Malagasys, Hausas and Indo-Chinese Coming late into Empire-building, Germany fought some fierce campaigns in East Africa, Togoland and the Cameroons, using a colourful variety of troops including Marines and European Schutztruppen, mounted infantry, camel corps and different types of Askaris. Their opponents, the Hereros Ovambos, Masais and East African natives are noticeable by their absence from the figure makers’ catalogues, but the resourceful wargamer will readily adapt and convert other available native warriors to suit Although the passing of Queen Victoria saw the beginnings of a close-season for Empire-building, the British Army was periodically engaged in punitive operations on the North-West Frontier of India as late as during World War Il. An interesting and little-used wargaming period can be the conflict with fanati- cal followers of the Fakir of Ipi, a Holy Man who flourished in the 1930s, when County Regiments, supported by armoured cars and light tanks, went out on many expeditions in those same barren hills fought over by their fathers and grandfathers. There were a few airplanes involved, ancient bi-planes whose reconnaissance and bombing revolutioned the style of warfare — it was generally considered by the soldiers that they spoiled the sport! Living as we do in an age when children’s golliwogs have fallen into disfavour through their implied racialism, it is quite likely that accusing fingers will be pointed at tabletop representations of historical occasions when natives defending their homelands were massacred in large numbers. Perhaps there is some miti- gation in the knowledge shared by most wargamers that, in spite Of suffering at least a hundred casualties to every ten European, these ill-armed natives invariably revealed incredible courage and dignity, being defeated solely through being overtaken by the March of Civilised Progress. Wargames rules thoughtfully reflect their courage and, as there is no enjoyment in playing a game where the same side invariably wins, the best man always triumphs in these tabletop affairs - and itis the native tribesman more often than not! 60DOWN AT THE WARGAMES CLUB No. 1 ‘The Gang who formed the Wargames Club knew each other pretty well, being fully aware of each other's strengths and weaknesses they are always ready to wind-up anyone for the sake of a laugh. When things are quiet it is'nt difficult to get an argument going on the respective merits of figure of board wargaming, on scale, fantasy, uniforms, etc., and, as in most groups, there are one or two well-known ‘stirrers’, ike Pete and Alan. The other night Pete came into the Clubroom and showed us some photographs he had taken on his recent motoring holiday in Spain. He passed one to Billy Phillips: ‘Know where it is, Billy?” Everyone watch- ed closely wondering what was going to happen next, because it was well known that Billy firmly believed British Military history began with and revolved around the 95th Rifles and the Light Division in the Peninsular, and that he could always be got going by anything concerning them. Quick as a flash, Billy said: ‘It's the Lesser and Greater Arapiles on the Field of Salmanca . . . fought on 22, of July 1812.’ Then Pete started raving about how marvellous Packenham’s 3rd Division had been, and how the 4th and Sth Divisions came over the ridge and helped roll up the French — *. . . 40,000 Frenchmen beaten in 40 minutes!’ ‘But, Billy. . 've often wondered where the Light Division were whilst all this was going on?” Billy choked and went red: ‘You know perfectly well where they were they were on Wellington’ left flank along with the Ist Division . .. the best disciplined and controlled divisions the Duke had . . . waiting to take up the pursuit when the French began retreating!” Pete looked thoughtful: ‘Is that so? Funny, I don’t remember hearing much about the French getting badly beaten-up in the pursuit!’ Billy waved his arms like he always does when he's excited: ‘That was because a Spanish force under D'Espana placed by Wellington in the castle at the bridge at Alba deserted their posts and allowed the French to get away!’ Pete laughed sarcastically and the argument got fierce and furious, until the President came over and said they were disturbing the rest of the wargamers, To quieten things down and keep the peace, Toby hastily told us about a film he'd seen on a friend’s video the other night: ‘It was supposed to be the British Army on their way to the Battle of the Alma in the Crimea, and they had this lot marching with a high knee action and arms going across the chest . .. like foreign soldiers . .. it was a damned insult to the British Army! ‘That was the film Charge of the Light Brigade, wasn't it?” said 61 Billy, forgetting about the 95th for the moment: ‘They used the Turkish Army as extras.’ Then Fred said someone he knew who'd worked on the film told him that the British Director, offended by Turkish cavalrymen playing the Light Brigade slumping in their saddles, lashed lengths of broom- stick up their backs to keep ‘em upright!’ Billy laughed bitterly: “That was the same director who insisted on one of the British cavalry regiments in the charge wearing scarlet overalls and when the military adviser protested that they wore blue, he said it was HIS army and he could dress them how he liked!” ‘In the film Waterloo all the Allied and French units were formed of real-life soldiers of the Russian Army . . . there was one scene where the so-called Gordon Highlanders had their tartan stockings down around their ankles they did'nt look anything like Scotsmen!’ Fred expressed sympathy and said: ‘Of course the thing that spoils all military films is that there are never enough soldiers in the regiments . . . they can’t afford to pay sufficient extras to make a unit look realistic. They show you a spaced-out column of about 40 men marching in three’s and it’s supposed to be a full battalion.’ A guy we hadn't seen in the Club before sniffed and broke our rule of never bringing politics into a meeting: ‘Obviously they can’t use as many men as took part in the real historical battle the only time enough money can be found for that is when one country makes up its mind to kill all the soldiers of another country!’ Not fancying the turn of conversation, Fred said: ‘I thought the Russians had pretty large units in their version of War and Peace made without thought of expense and used as propaganda, | suppose.’ Pete agreed: ‘I've always thought about the most real- istic film of horse and musket fighting I've ever seen was in Barry Lyndon .... the attack in line was just about how it must have been in those days.’ Don't usually hear much from Chris Blake, known as a deep-thinking lad with a degree in some electronic subject, but he came into the con- versation: ‘The nearest you can get to realism is in. tabletop wargaming, where a unit can be as big as you like if you can afford to buy the figures.’ Fred interrupted: ‘And if you can find an opponent with a similar -d army.’ Chris nodded: ‘Table size means regiments always have to be drastically scaled-down, but that's not the main trouble the real fault of wargaming lies in the fact that the figures don't move of their own volition . . . they have to be moved.’ Someone said what we were all thinking: ‘Of course they can’t move on their own . .. they're only metal or plastic.’ Chris shookhis head: ‘Tm convinced there is a way to make them move on their own!’ That aroused a general free-for-all, with everyone talking at once, then someone reminded us of a recent film at the Odeon about a couple of American teenagers who fed vital statistics into a computer, to make their very own glamour-girl. ‘Miss Frankenstein, | suppose,’ said Billy. Chris smiled: ‘I'm working on an idea. . I'l let you know when I come up with something.” It made us a bit uneasy, you never know what these electronics wizards are doing — and there were all sorts of queer rumours about the factory on the Industrial Estate. Anyway, the weeks passed and we forgot it until Chris invited some of us round to his lodgings, to see a video film he'd made. It really made us sit up and take notice, this short and not particularly clear clip showing what were undoubtedly blocks of model wargames soldiers of the Napoleonic period jerkily moving towards each other, until blotted out by clouds of ‘smoke as they fired volleys! We saw it through half a dozen times without being really convinced before Billy said: ‘They are mounted on a large base with a flange underneath moving in a channel . . controlled by radio like model cars or aircraft.” Chris was indignant: ‘How do you account for the firing then?" ‘Some sort of a firework set off by radio signal’ said Billy. Chris shook his head sadly: ‘You don’t know what you're talking about . . . 'm afraid you are out of your element.’ ‘Alright then t= == how it’s done!’ ‘'d like to,” said Chris ‘but | can® there's more to it than you think, its part of a mack larger affair . . . Ministry of Defence involved Official Secrets Act . .. you know how it is. We told the bloke who owned the Mode! Stow about it and he laughed, saying he hoped Cans would let him have exclusive sale of his pata figures ~ ‘Could be trick photography . . .| onc= saw. a TV film being made of a cavalry charge on 2 Sa . -. by moving the figures and the gunners a fractom each shot they made more than a hundred anc Sy frames that showed for a few seconds on the scre== and looked very realistic.” ‘A week or so later Chris Blake came into te Club; he had his arm in a sling. ‘Had an accident” He smiled and gingerly took his hand from the Sime and carefully removed the dressings, holding ost his hand for our inspection. Both sides of it ~ back and palm — were peppered with angry ime ‘wounds! Twenty-five each side .. . count “er if yom like .. . was playing a solo-game with my army and put my hand in the way of a volley — not 2 mas missed!’ We still don't know what to think there's no way a guy would give himself fifty regularts spaced painful wounds ~ just to prove a point. = there? Or is there? 62