Masculinity Mistakes

David De Las Morenas

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Copyright 2014 David De Las Morenas

All rights reserved.

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Contents
My Story........................................................................................................... 5

This is Keeping You from Becoming a Leader ............................................ 7

A Defining Trait of the Weak Male ............................................................... 9

The Worst Thing You Can Do For Your Game........................................... 11

Stop Doing This and People Will Be Drawn to You .................................. 14

A Sure Way to Prevent Success .................................................................. 16

How to Alienate Everyone You Talk To ...................................................... 18

How to Avoid Living an Ordinary Life ........................................................ 20

If You Enjoyed This Book ............................................................................. 22

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My Story
Note: The following section is an excerpt from my book The Book of
Alpha. It serves as a good introduction to this eBook as well.

Hi, Im David.

Just three years ago I set out on a quest that transformed me one that
continues to transform me. It was as if my eyes were opened to an
entire dimension of the world that I didnt know existed. Id finally
begun my metamorphosis from boy to man.

Looking back, I was lost. I didnt know it, but I was lost nonetheless. I
was your average college bro who did well in class, pulled stupid pranks
with his friends, and got drunk on the weekends sometimes getting
laid in the process. We thought we ruled the world. We also thought the
Boston University campus was the world.

And why wouldnt we? We had all accomplished every life mission we
had ever been tasked with. Beginning in grade school I got good
grades, passed my classes, dominated the high school basketball team,
and was accepted to a respected university. By the end of my senior
year, I had lined up a solid job with a software company. Hell, I was
crushing it most kids werent even finding work in this economy.

But after the graduation ecstasy wore off, I faced a harsh reality. My life
was boring, my job wasnt fulfilling, I had no sense of purpose, I wasnt
getting laid, and I didnt have much confidence. I was a long shot away
from being anything close to an alpha male. Yes, I was making and
saving money, but given the circumstances I found little gratification it
that.

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I was living in a continuous cycle of waking up, commuting to work,
being there for 9 hours, commuting home, going to the gym, watching
TV, and sleeping then rinse and repeat. What was the next milestone
a promotion, maybe? Society, and my parents, had set no further
expectations of me. I was lost.

I knew I had to find a way out and I did. Since then Ive quit my nine to
five job (only to have them offer me a part-time position working
whenever I want from home), followed my passion for fitness and
started working as a personal trainer for a respected gym, written and
published two books (one of which is an Amazon best-seller), and had
tremendous success with women even finding one thats been a
pleasure to date for the past 6 months. More importantly, I developed a
beaming sense of confidence, charisma, and a strong body in the
process in short, I began to take on many characteristics of the alpha.
I dont tell you all of this to impress you, but rather to impress upon you
the value of the various tools, habits, virtues, and hobbies I wrote about
in The Book of Alpha the rules I followed to make this transformation.

This book, however, is dedicated to the mistakes I made during that

same journey.

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This is Keeping You from Becoming a
Leader
Nothing is more difficult, and therefore more precious, than to be able to
decide.

- Napoleon Bonaparte

My Experience
Im lying in bed. Its a Friday night, and everyone is preparing to go out.
My three roommates are showering, napping, and drinking coffee to
fuel themselves for the coming festivities.

I nervously turn, twist, and look at my phone. What should I say? I

think to myself. Im texting more like attempting to text a girl that I
want to hook up with tonight. So I call my cousin to ask for advice. Yo,
whats up? Im texting this girl but Im not sure what to say next.

Whats the last thing she said? He replies.

That shes going out tonight with her friends, but doesnt know where. I
want to meet up with her at the end of the night, I explain.

Dude, just tell her to go to the same bar youre going to be at.

Yeah, youre right. Ill send her that now. Or should I wait like an hour
or two? I ask.

Give it a few more minutes, then just send it. Stop being a pussy.

The Lesson
This was years ago in college, and it was really bad. But it illustrates a
common mistake that we all make: not having the balls to just go ahead
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and do something on our own. As a man you must be able to make a
tough call (or an easy call) on your own, without consulting others.

The alpha male doesnt seek, or depend on, approval for his actions. He
simply decides, and proceeds. In particularly high risk scenarios its
acceptable to get a second opinion from a trusted friend, but this
should be the exception, not the rule.

Take Action
To practice avoiding this mistake, make all small decisions on your own.
This will build the habit so your first instinct isnt to ask others, but
rather choose for yourself. For example:

1. The next time you eat out with a friend, what restaurant will you go
to?
2. What item will you order on the menu?
3. Should you wear a jacket in this weather?

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A Defining Trait of the Weak Male
We who in engage in nonviolent direct action are not the creators of
tension. We merely bring to the surface the hidden tension that is already
alive.

- Martin Luther King, Jr.

My Experience
It was a regular Tuesday evening. I just got back home from work and
was preparing my dinner for the night a phone call to the corner pizza
shop for a steak and cheese sub. I entered the kitchen to get a glass of
water ready for the meal.

Motherfucker! My roommate had littered our kitchen counters and

sink with cans of Diet Coke and half-empty glasses of coke and water.
This was a habit of his an annoying habit, at that. Furious, I quickly,
and loudly, threw all the cans into the trashcan and all the glasses into
the sink, hoping he would hear the commotion.

Whats up? he said as he walked by, going to the bathroom.

Nothing! I retorted, while giving him the stank-eye. I subconsciously

hoped that would send the message. He went back into his room, and I
stomped my way down the street to pick up my sub. Fuck that kid.

The Lesson
If you have something to say, just fucking say it. I finally broke this bad
habit and began instantly going to his room and telling him, stop
leaving your glasses everywhere, and clean them up now.

The masculine man is not passive-aggressive. If he has a problem with

someone, he tells them. He doesnt let it eat away under his skin before
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making a move. He practices this same principle in other areas of his
life, too. For example, if he wants a girl, he doesnt text her and ask her
about the weather he asks her to hang out.

Take Action
Again, avoid this mistake by practicing in low risk situations. For
example:

1. Tell your roommate hes doing something that bothers you.

2. Tell your boss you cant work an extra shift or stay late when its
inconvenient.

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The Worst Thing You Can Do For Your
Game
Attachment is the great fabricator of illusions; reality can be attained only
by someone who is detached.

- Simone Weil

My Experience
I lace up my shoes. The yoga class I attended just ended. Everyone is
making their way home, and I spot a smoking hot blonde with an
incredibly tight body who was in class. I have to approach her. I slowly
put on my jacket and make my way to the door, so that she is exiting at
the same time. Hey, do you come here often.

Yes, Im actually studying to be an instructor so I have to take classes

all the time, she replies with a smile.

Cool. Youre not from around here, are you? I ask.

She blushes, How can you tell? I moved in a year ago from Texas.

Our conversation continues for three or four minutes, and I get her
number. A smile comes across my face as I enter my car Im pumped.
I now have her number, and Ive been texting a girl I knew in college
who just moved back into town. I deserve a pat on the back. Thats two
whole girls that Im texting.

The Lesson
When you meet a hot girl that you want to bang or date or whatever,
dont get caught in the trap of expecting and hoping for it to happen.
Ive done this so many times in my life. Ive seen my friends do the same
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thing. The problem is that you stop looking for other girls, because you
already have one or two potential mates, and you become complacent.
Not only does this behavior drown out the supply of new leads in your
life, but it also negatively affects how you interact with the girls who
youre currently in contact with.

You will start to see them as your only option, and this will kill your
game. It will cause anguish and pain when one stands you up or stops
replying to your text messages. Instead of letting go and moving on,
youll fight to win her over or just get a response. In the end, this will
cripple you. You will lose the leads that you do have, and your
confidence to approach and find new leads will go with it.

The alpha treats his leads all the same, until something actually
happens. If you havent even gone on a date with, or kissed a girl, you
shouldnt invest anything into the relationship (if you can even call it
that). They havent earned your attention yet.

Take Action
1. When you get the number of a girl, put a note in your calendar to
text her in a couple days.
2. When you text her, keep it simple. Just ask her how she is.
3. If she responds, directly ask her if she wants to hang out later in the
week.
4. If she says yes, then make plans. If she says no, then delete her
number.

Following this simple routine will prevent you from overly investing in a
girl who doesnt give a shit about you and will never actually meet up
with you. Yes, she may text you back because she likes the attention

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youre giving her, but if she wont meet up with you then stop wasting
your time and energy.

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Stop Doing This and People Will Be
Drawn to You
The tendency to whining and complaining may be taken as the surest sign
symptom of little souls and inferior intellects.

- Lord Jeffrey

My Experience
My phone rings. Oh god. Its my friend Jack. All this guy does is bitch and
moan every time he calls and he calls a lot.

But I havent answered for the last week, so I pick it up. Whats up
Jack?

Not much, how are you? He replies.

Im good, a bit busy in the middle of some work, I tell him hinting at
the fact that I dont want a long call.

Man, my boss is a fucking dick. He keeps giving me little extra things to

do when Im about to leave the office he begins to ramble.

I put the phone down and wait for the noise to stop. After two or three
minutes theres silence. Damn dude, that sucks, you should tell him to
give you your work earlier in the day. I offer my advice.

Yeah, good call. But this girl Im seeing. She wont leave me alone, and
we havent even had sex yet. Its like, why do you have to text me every
five minutes here we go again whining part two.

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The Lesson
While that phone call above seems like an extreme example, it really
isnt. Nearly everyone has a tendency to complain to others about their
shitty lives. Theyre sure to have made their life seem shitty as hell after
youve spoken with them for five or ten minutes.

Complaining, bitching, moaning, and whining are all terrible habits.

They have two remarkably negative side effects. One is what was clearly
demonstrated above: people wont enjoy talking to you and theyll think
you have a miserable life. The other side effect is the toll it takes on
you. I know it sounds clich, but maintaining a positive mindset is of the
utmost importance. If you constantly bombard your mind with a shit-
storm of negativity all day long, youre likely to feel and act in a shitty
manner as well.

The alpha distinguishes himself from the crowd of whiners and

complainers. Rather than filling his mind and conversations with all the
little details that are bothering him, he focuses on his goals and the
good things that come his way. This doesnt mean that he neglects
reality, only that he doesnt make a big deal out of nothing just to have
something to talk about.

Take Action
1. When people ask you how youre doing, respond by smiling and
telling them that youre great.
2. Notice how you feel when other people incessantly whine and
complain to you.
3. If you catch yourself complaining to yourself or someone else, stop
and list five things that youre grateful for. This will flip the switch.

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A Sure Way to Prevent Success
You must have a capacity to receive, or even omnipotence cant give.

- C.S. Lewis

My Experience
It was the first Friday night of my freshman year of college. My new
friends and I were at a frat party, living the good-old college dream. We
were talking to a group of girls. I wanted to badly to start my college
career off with a bang I didnt have much success with girls in high
school.

After a few minutes I managed to pull one of them from the group. We
talked for a bit about our boring pre-college lives, being the nervous
freshman that we were. And then we started to kiss. I dont recall if I
made the move or she did, honestly. But I was on top of the world.

This continued for an hour or so before my man friends wanted to

leave. This girl happened to live in the same dorm as me, so we decided
to walk back together. Before you knew it, she was on top of me in my
bed and we were making out.

We made out for at least thirty minutes, and I so-badly wanted to take
it to the next level, but instead I asked her to leave.

The Lesson
Was I nervous? Probably.

But I think something else was at work self sabotage. I was on track to
getting exactly what I wanted, and right as I was about to achieve it, I
stopped myself. I didnt allow myself to reap the rewards of my hard
work (not terribly hard, I know, but you get the point).
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This phenomenon occurs to people all the time. Right as they are about
to achieve something great, they throw in the towel. They might get
offered their dream job, only to turn it down and stay at the same
miserable office. They might get a date with a smoking hot girl, only to
stand her up.

Im not sure exactly why, but Ive read that its because we dont want to
stand out. We dont want to eclipse our friends and become excellent.
Or it could simply be a psychological trick our minds play on us to deny
ourselves what we want. I dont know why it happens, but it certainly
does. As a man, you must overcome this self-destructive nature and
takes what you earned its rightfully yours.

Take Action
Dont allow yourself to rest until you have fully accomplished every goal
you set for yourself. If that means accepting a new job offer, then
accept it. If it means publishing a book, then actually publish it writing
it is not enough. You have to build the habit of completing your
missions, and allow yourself to enjoy the fruits of your labor.

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How to Alienate Everyone You Talk To
It's good to be selfish. But not so self-centered that you never listen to other
people.

- Hugh Hefner

My Experience
Im hanging out with a close friend, Anthony, and telling him about an
adventure I went on while I was in Spain last year. Id climbed a
mountain in the Pyrenees.

It was late in the afternoon and wed come to a daunting cliff-face

about halfway through the hike. We debated whether or not to attempt
climbing it for five or ten minutes. We had no gear. Only a few loafs of
bread and squares of cheese. But we decided to be bold and give it a
try, as groups of men often do.

After about thirty minutes of climbing we took a break. We were about

halfway up, and several of us were ready to give up, from both
exhaustion and fear. But after looking down, we didnt have a choice. It
was a straight drop that would make for a far more frightening descent
than if we continued the climb. It was getting dark and there was a
village at the top of the cliff-face, so we soldiered on.

I clearly remember the last step. I grudgingly lifted my limp body over
the top edge and fell flat on my face. After a minute or two of catching
my breath, I looked up to see an old women and her goat.

We were on her farmland, I concluded.

Thats crazy, Anthony replied. Last night I was watching Anchorman

again, man that shit is hilarious.
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My mouth dropped open. Thats all he has to say, I thought.

The Lesson
Humans are self-centered by nature. We like to think and talk about
ourselves. And its fine to do so. But you must realize that whoever
youre talking to would almost certainly prefer to talk about himself.

If you ignore this fact youll sacrifice the ability to spark interesting
conversations with other people. Yes, you will entertain yourself by
talking about your own escapades, but you will alienate the listener if
you neglect to show interest in their life.

The masculine man picks and chooses the time to talk about himself,
after all he is sure to have some amazing stories (like climbing a
mountain or something). But he is also sure to learn about his
conversational partner in order to build quick rapport before doing so.

Take Action
1. Focus your conversations on the other person.
2. Only talk about yourself when the other person asks, or becomes
evasive about their personal life.

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How to Avoid Living an Ordinary Life
What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you
become by achieving your goals.

- Henry David Thoreau

My Experience
Im driving back from work, blasting some hardcore rap through the
speakers in my Honda. Im pumped. I just took a pre-workout drink and
Im headed to the gym to beast some weights around.

This is the best part of my day, I think. Hell, its the best part of my
week.

Then I stop. I turn down the music and start to think. There has to be
more than this in life. My life has become an endless cycle of waking
up early, driving to work, sitting in a cubicle for eight or nine hours,
driving to the gym, lifting weights, going home, eating, and going to
sleep. Its so fucking monotonous.

I want something more, I yell, enclosed in the capsule of my car. I

want more!

The Lesson
The superior man breaks free from the chains of what society expects
of him. He isnt satisfied with just working a nine to five and living an
ordinary life. He strives to create something new and add real value to
the word. He sets and achieves goals. He doesnt simply drift through
life.

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Take Action
1. Choose something that you want to accomplish in the next few
months (any shorter and its too easy; any longer and it can be
demoralizing when you dont see any progress).

Examples: Get a job, run 5 miles, complete a programming course on

CodeAcademy.com, write a short eBook and publish it on Amazon.com,
start a WordPress blog, complete a Tough Mudder race, take a martial
arts class, go on a date with a cute girl, learn the basics of a foreign
language, hike a mountain, take a trip to Colorado (or anywhere, but I
want to snowboard in Colorado at some point), etc.

2. Create an image in your mind of exactly what it will look and feel like
once it is accomplished (this is important it needs to be explicitly clear,
so that you know for sure when its done).
3. Choose a specific completion date. This is only something to aim for
dont be anal.
4. Write it down, and look at it every morning going forward to remind
yourself. Studies have shown that those who write their goals down on
paper experience an exponentially higher success rate.

Example: I will write and publish an eBook. By February 1st it will be live on
the Amazon.com bookstore for Kindle.

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If You Enjoyed This Book
If you found this eBook helpful, I strongly recommend checking out my
new book The Book of Alpha. Its kind of like this book, but on steroids.
Click here to read reviews and get more info.

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