100%(3)100% found this document useful (3 votes) 452 views78 pagesKoDT - 99 - The Rulez Lawyer
Knights of the dinner table
Copyright
© © All Rights Reserved
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content,
claim it here.
Available Formats
Download as PDF or read online on Scribd
ds Ae
Cd
a =“ Tue Rucez Lawyer”
Tue Rutez Lawyer
January 2005 ‘Tue KODT Devetopment TEAM 1s
© Copyright 2005, Kener and Jouty R. BLACKBURN * BRIAN JELKE
of the Dinner Table™ mag. STEVE JOHANSSON * Davi S. KENZER
Se ee
monthly by Kemer and’ Company,
1234 Tipls, San Aaeoao, TX TABLE OF CONTENTS
73216
Reioials Mog Pid at Sn] DEPARTMENTS: ‘A Gamers Rant on Movies™
io, Te. a =
amar nes Cries from the Artic 2 by Noah Aneiler oe eeevee 56
rights of he Dinner Table | Table Talk* 5 Lookin’ at Comics
511W Greenwood Av, *
‘Waukegan, IL 60087 ‘Tales from the Table’ 58 ‘by Tomy Digerolama p 61
bea jo “p a Trees Face OR . . 59 Summon Web Scryer™
belemerestit i ennth Newgit
$50.00 in Canads and US $7400] Gaming Repor™ fom Gemingtporom 66 ae eon 2
Sr Game Vine 68 of Wines Parmer’ a
fo subcibe,send a check or money - by Bik Moat
ork (nate pyc Kenn and| Back Room atthe Games Pit B oeae
Company) to: Weird Pete's Bulletin Board 7 by ohn Oeil 6
‘Kenzer & Company Brian's Small Press Picks” 79 Board Squawk” o
KODT Subscriptions, Parting Shots” 80 -
511 W Greenwood Ave. * Puzzle Monger 70
‘Waukegan, I, 60087
Se EETT Tare ener GAMEMASTERS’ WORKSHOP™:
oo fix a valid Vis MaserCart,| 7 ‘THE STRIPS: by the Usnal Suspects
Seae roe Pillager’s Guide 50 ‘As Easy a8 A,B, Coe 9
dens ac (647) 6800950, | Beneath the Little Keep: Part One ~ 48 Path ofthe Righteous. ....ssseeveseesee2
Bacclsmes Bucs and nc! | Dungeons: Ready to Occupy by Cig Zine ....52 Gamer Die-namics
rmechanding ae ako salle, Se . eee
eee cecacbsc| Balcand Tackle 53 A Table for Two.
ieee ‘The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly” 42 The Caller
(ell epic) en | Doody Toppings” a “(Dieta :
oad igus on) ost ly Tapping Bi
fion@lenzrcocom (ll ater One-Two Punch SI
rs Rustlers of the 45,
BE | They Mage HOMEBREW.
Sobmissions We accept submis- Fuzzy Knights by Noch {D. Chinn n
sons for sip ides, jokes, coon, eee
¢Weacingexd maningay-| REGULAR COLUMNS: Going Down by th Brves Gri 3
thing that other gamers and fins| Under the Hood™ 39 iss, r
inet a seine 5 are ae ”
Rwiel fides Lost Game Safari 254 Duginski 80
Hele Kt ee a
Cae mihi les = | wes Te DRO TALE ws lca eed by ll R Bulbs poy ck 0
we ee | | Bas ler’ for his smal press mie Sw Ic was someting a ei ay nd Jol
OUT, ROeAOUL tnd tea, | | aly didnt give ie much thought. Perhaps that's why he was just as suprised as anyone that soon
BEE ee || ROBT wr cong cei ihe ye dnd ta a do nnn
ie Sime Sie amen. | | 7 her Fotunatly wring and drawing KODT srs the lone
ee Bn Ba Ba am he Ga || Inert Reet Heol ban te enced oe eee
Retest tedloa ee Da todo > rn cla Ka Cn deen
Pata S Ha op Ee Os Sf the KODT D-Tea the Knights have gone far bond anything flor | «1997. ee 1998+
eran fdoe Daa babes Sere Bebe negate eoa a | “17 egigs
Pes Cayo EL Sc,
Gime Woon. At Tin Mie AR side and the D-Team looks forward to seeing where the gang cakes them next.
cnorgrmberwesnie Coys BE ide andthe D-Team looks forward to seeing where the gang cakes th
Upp Roden oe gh he ewe
Chapa Lge, Lemerasss pment
‘Su alten dra
ee an Campy Dagens 6 Opes od
DDD a eden ore by Wa fhe 119996 #2003"
(om ec mea ts ed
‘id Kem and Cony wre ee ©CRIES FROM THE ATTIC
LooKING FORWARD
TO 2005...
heck the deal =
0 hrimas is a ew | Rabat ofl @
days away as I write
this and [ve got a deadline |
for ise 9 hanging over
my head, like the Sond of
Democle
My bags ae paced and |
sing by the door. As soon
as this sue is wrapped, the
family and 1 are heading f
out the door ro Indiana ro
see the fll, Fim feng disraced. Visions of moms
home cooking fill my head aswell s all hat wonder
fal swag wrapped up in prety papper and colorful
bows under her ree (Tim hoping Santa remembered to
get me the extended DVD set of Return of the King)
youll excuse me, Tm sure if [tend to ramble
more chan usual in my eagerness ro wrap this up edi-
torial
You know, I've got afeling 2005 is going to be a
great year. elit in my bones. We've got some incred-
ible storylines lined up for 2005 in KODT were
chomping atthe bit to work on as well as some other
surprises.
AAs T mentioned last issue, some of our best work
ever comes out next month in KODT 100 (which will
be a special 144 page trade paperback). And there's
even an all new KODT 2005 Calendar on the shelves
to check off they days while you wait fori to artive.
On other fronts, we've been working hard on our
new wild west roleplaying game, Aces and Eights: The
Shattered Frontier. Youll be hearing more the game in
the coming months
‘Wet also working on a new board game — Craig
Zipses, The Great Space Race. I haverit been so exci
ed about a KenzerCo product since we were working
con the core rule books of HackMaster. What a great
game. Only way I can describe itis that it’ sore of like
Formula De’ in space — only with mises, blackholes
and space amobeas
And of course well continue to support our award
winning epg lines, HackMaster and Kingdoms of
Kalamar D&D 3E with new supplements and adven-
cures
THE OLD MAN BUYS YOU A
Things ate looking bright outside the company as
well. I'm amazed at some of the things I've been hear-
ing as far as new product coming down the pipe from
other companies. New expansions for Pirates of the
Spanish Main from WizKids, A new expansion for
Bang! (one of my favorite card games). And a couple
of new movie RPG licenses that are stil in the ‘rumor
category a6 I write this so I wont mention chem by
name.
At PhilCon a few wecks ago, I had a chance 0 sc
down and play in Tony DiGerolamo’s Mafia 420
game. [ have to be honest. When he asked to me to
play I was being polite when I sid yes. I had absolure-
ly no interest in playing a ‘tough guy.
Within minutes however, | was a huge fan as my.
character, Bruno sted to impress the family’ and earn
theie respect by pulling my firs job. The game (from
Living Room Games) should be out by the time you
read this, Check it out. Ia lot of fun
Speaking of PhilCon what a fabulous show.
Although its more asi con chan a gaming con there
was plening of gaming to be had. Steve and I had a
‘great time. These guys really know how ro put on a
show and they literally spoiled us with kindness
One ofthe highlights of the show is chat, I finaly
got my hands on a copy of Days of Wonders Ticket to
Ride. I've been hearing incredbile buzz about this
game for almost a year but I just couldnt seem to get
my hands on a copy (Whenever I ventured down to
the local FLGS ic was sold out).
‘Now I know what all he fuss has been about. What
an incredibly fun game. IFyou havent check this one
fout you should do so. You dont know what you're
missing. Great game for those non-gamer fiends and
family members by the way:
‘As many of you know, Heroscape is currently one
of my favorite games. And support for it seems to be
strong. Hasbro just recently released four new expan-
sion packs forthe game. And, 'm cold more are on the
way. Matter of fact, the game is packed among my
bags. im hoping to get a game going with my old gam-
ing group during my trip as open up a can of Whup
Ass on them.
Here’ hoping 2005 is good to all of you.
( RSh
Jolly R. Blackburn
December 20, 2004
Game on!
I ORINK A TOAST 9.4, TASK HIM WOW, THIS PARTY
(ROUND OF DRINKS AND WISHES re THE OLD MAN’S IF HE WOULD. |S HOPPING!
YOU A “HAPPY NEW YEAR!" HEALTH AND CARE TO DANCE. MUCH BETTER
RETURN THE FAVOR, ) THAN LAST
wey is THAT
ssupnus ) reas
‘STARING AT MEP
N
Aintights or ete
Dinner Tsbte
CREDITS
PUBLISHER
Kenzer and Company
‘Eprror-IN-CHIEF
Jolly R. Blackburn
jolly@kenzerco.com
AssIsTANT EDITOR
Barbara Blackburn
Barb@kenzerco.com
PRODUCTION MANAGER
‘Steve Jobansson
‘SALES AND MARKETING
David S. Kenzer
Kopr Strip Arr
Jolly Blackburn
Cover ART
Chris Moreno
CONTRIBUTING ARTISTS
Peter Delgado, fr
The Brothers Grinn
swe #99: The Rules: LawyerDiscover the Palladium Megaverse®
Palladium Books’ role-playing games span every
genre, and with one universal game system, players who
leam one game can play any of them. Better yet powers,
magic, weapons and characters can be taken from one
game setting into another.
With the Summer 2005 release of the Rifis®: Prom-
ise of Power™ videogame for the N-Gage and the Rifts®
movie moving forward, interest in Rifts® and all of Pal-
ladium’s games should continue to attract gamers in ever
growing numbers.
Splicers™ RPG — New
Splicers™ is set on a high-tech world where robots
and machines rule, Humans are vermin to be hunted and
exterminated, but who refuse to lay down and die. Man-
kind’s struggle is complicated by a nanobot plague that
instantly turns metal objects into killing machines when
touched by human flesh. Consequently, humans have
been forced to turn to organic technology ~ living weap-
ons and armor — to battle the world-dominating ma-
chines.
Genetically grown power armor and weaponry
change and improve as they grow. Player characters of-
ten sacrifice their humanity to become monsters them-
selves in their crusade to defeat the robot legions of the
Machine.
© $23.95 retail, 224 pages, Cat. No. 200. Available
now. Sourcebooks coming 2005.
Beyond the Supernatural™ 2
— A New RPG of Modern Horror
A game of horror, suspense, investigation and self-
discovery, set in our modem world. The hidden under-
ground of psychics, mages and ordinary people dedicated
to battling the supernatural horrors they know are real,
but which science and society denies. Unique characters,
psychic abilities, magic and a unique approach to both
that makes BTS different and fun.
© $23.95 retail, 224 pages, Cat. No. 700. Available
now.
Rifts® RPG
Rifts® is the hugely popular role-playing game that
is being tured into a Jerry Bruckheimer movie as well
as a videogame.
The Earth has been transformed by the retum of
magic. Lines of mystic energy crisscross the planet.
Where two or more lines of magic energy cross, dimen-
sional portals ~ Rifts tears in the very fabric of space
and time ~ open to unleash an endless parade of invading
aliens, monsters and demonic horrors onto our planet.
Likewise, humans can use the Rifts to travel across the
infinite Megaverse® to other worlds, times and dimen-
sions.
Rifts® melds elements of every conceivable genre
and makes them fit seamlessly together. Everything from
science fiction and super-science to horror and fantasy
are possible. You are limited only by your imagination.
The Rifts® RPG presents everything you need to
start a game. 256 pages, 16 pages of beautiful color, still
only $24.95 retail. Dozens of World Books and source-
books are also available to take your imagination any-
where!
Other Palladium Role-Playing Games
Heroes Unlimited™ RPG
Ninjas & Superspies™ RPG
Rifts® Chaos Earth™ RPG
Rifts® Dimension Books: Phase World® series
Nightbane® RPG (horror & superhumans)
Palladium Fantasy RPG®
Mechanoid® Space RPG (coming in 2005) and
others
Free 32 Page Catalog
Call or write to ask for our FREE 32 page, 2004 Win-
ter Catalog, or check out our website for descriptions of
all our role-playing games and products.
Palladium Books® — 1245S Universal Drive —
Taylor, MI 48180 - www.palladiumbooks.com —
(734) 946-1156 (This is a catalog request and order line
only.)
(© 2004 Palladium Books lnc, All sight reserved, wove.
Rifts, Meyaverve®, The Pallaiom Fantasy RPG, Nighbane® and Phase World®
tue Registered Trademarks owned and icensed by Palladium Books Ine. All other
‘umes, ides and slogans ae also trademarks of Palladium Books ine.TABLE Our Readers Talk Back!
TALK
Eortox’s Nore: The mail ust never sems
to sop. Wh
ach and eer etter, its not aly posible
to give peonal rep. So even if your leer iat pub
lished or if you dont ge a dint rspome, rst asaed
ow ARE being heard
Remember, KODT isan intercie magazin, We
mane you, the reader, 10 be ineolted. So kep your g-
seston, shougs and epinions (constructive and ob
wise) coming. Opinions expresed by readers are not
necesarily shared by the editor or Kenzer and
Compa
Please be aware that due to space comsideraions,
some later have ben clted exter ried. — Joly
@: From Across the Pond...
tee make every effort wo read
H: ks. Thought Id drop you a mot, just vo
y hi and le you know KODT is rad and
enjoyed this ie of the pond, though you probably
already know that. My daughter got me hooked on
the mag, No huge surprise there. I'd guess a fae
number of readers are introduced to it by thes
However I mention this because Katy is thee, (wil
be four on New Yeu" Eve)
‘She and Jake (my six year old son) prevailed
upon me t0 go into our local gaming shop [The
Gamekeeper on Cowley Rd. Oxford (Hi john A
Carol} about 6 months ago to look for gamesfig
tues, et. of interest. I can't remember what Jake
wanted, Mage Knights, 1 expect. Katy wanred
Knight ofthe Dinner Table — well ic does star
with a K..and chere was a dragon in it. Kary loves
dragons 8 muchas she does horses
So the first one we sat and read together. 1
thought the cartoon was fun. Reminded me of ew
tables I'd sat around inthe late "70s and '80s play
ing D&D, AD&D, Runequest, Dragonquest
CoC, afew others. By
the time Kate ad said “pease daddy” in her big
eyed way (I know I'm sot touch, well as Faras my
kids are concemed) the third time we went into
Gamekeepe Iwas hooked
U haven't gamed fr years so the adverts and at
cles aren't tha fascinating, Hell 1 didn’t realize
HackMaster was an actual game for 2 couple of
months | hought it was a quip aimed a slash and
grab gamers
‘The Knights’ storyline initially made me laugh
and then caughe me up in che story. Can’ find the
issue now, they'd een arrested, some for tying to
spring the others I think. Gor carted off in
2. llm.,.cat.. Sara, T thik, summoned some
hounds or some such as a distraction and the
hounds went on ro destroy 2 village, (nice bit of
nasty gming there) Poot lass, the look on her face.
Now though, I'm so hooked I'm searching
(Oxford fora group to jin. Did I mention i's been
awhile since I tabletopped? Havent played AD&D
type stuf for 20 yes. Hard to believe I'm itching to
get a sword in my hand and hack a some bug-gly
monsters. 'm even having fond memories of old
characters like Tor, a thief who carried a hammer
and broad headed nails so he could mail peopl to
things so they'd tay pur and a chisel for removing
rings (hed give the Fingers back, if he remembered)
Or Parfr the Coane, wi planted acorns in the
wounds of whoever he killed because he'd been 0
impressed by a druids specch on ecology. SIGH,
Happy days
‘Wel, enough of this aimless whitring. I've
‘wasted enough of your time just to say thanks for
cheering me up (I work in 2 medium secure uni,
dealing with dul diagnosis leaning disabled adults
with personality disorders and other mental health
problems Took 2 bad injury fom a seis of violet
incidents and have been off work for two months...
‘only four more wo go from what che physios say and
can go beck... mutter...) ((you can tl from the
handwriting that my atm doesn't work properly
right now).
All the best and thanks for coming up with and
publishing your KODT stuff. Ie “Rawks.”
Phil Wasson
Oxford, England
Thane forse re, Phil Sory tear about your
Anju. Looks ike ou have some time on your ands
‘0 geting back into gaming migh not be bad idea 1
would imegine withthe resurgence in DED popu
levity BE) you shuld have too much trouble find-
ing a group.
We have “Looking for other Players” section on
cur dscusion forums where you can search for local
groups. There are echer such sites om line as well
Sounds like Katie has goad eye. Her hoping father
and daughter (and son) pick up the dice and game
tegeter. Good luck. — Jolly
The Typo
Whipping Post
KODT 97
We inadvertently left off the last ler-
ter of a valued freelancer's name
when we published his article. His
article was “Truisms of the Dark
Knight” — his actual name is Scott
J. Conover. A random KenzerCo
intern has been flogged for the mis-
take and has had sale rubbed in his
wounds while being taunted by a
group of his peers. We apologize to
Scott for the error.
Robinlofe 2
Michael Caudill, one of the con-
iburing authors’ names in our
recent. HackMaster release of
Robinloft 2 had his name butchered
in the credits, We apologize to
Michael. Again, a random intern has
been selected for a severe flogging,
bound and tied and dumped in
Jersey.
&:; 91 Rembrance...
yj about two weeks ago we held our annu-
jl 9/1 Remembrance Fundraiser that
Kenzerco was kind enough to support. The
event went extremely well, du in large part 10
your assistance, We very much appreciate
your donation at GenCon ofthe HackMaster
books.
We garnered significant local and national
media, which helped signficanly in both of
| How ro Contract US
52: Via ONLINE FORUM — Just pop over to wowruikenzerce.com and visit our discussion forums.
1S) Se: via E-MAM. — Send your strip ideas, reader mail, back room fodder and questions to nailbag@kenzerco.com.
Knights of the Dinner Table® Magazine * January, 2005
<@®: via SNAIL MAIL — Or write tous at KODT clo KenzerCo, 511 W Greenwood Ave., Waukegan, IL. 60087.cour goals: 1) raise money to aid those that
were affected by the evens of tha horrific day
2) maintain avareness of the sacrifice and
heroism of those that did what they could to
aid others that day and in the immediate
afiermath,
With @ generous matching donation, we
raised just shy of $7,000.00. The monies
raised willbe going to the NY Police and Fire
Widows and Children Fund,
{realize that you mus receive a huge num-
ber of thankeyou letters every year, but itis
very important 10 us that you realize how
much your assistance means.
We absolutly could not do this every year
withoue the generous assistance of those that
are kind enough to support us. Please fel
free to contact me with any questions or con-
cerns, [hope you have a great holiday season.
Cordially,
Eric Devlin
Thanks for the update, Eric. Count on us for
continued support next year. And thanks for
helping to organize a charity event for such a
worthy cause
— holy
Oakland, CA 94612
(510) 465-3637
‘SNACK FACTOR: Several restaurants
in the immediate area. Sodas
‘and snacks are available on site.
GAME ROOM: Over 1600
square fect of gaming area
«: Enough with the Whining...
onthe only reader growing sick and frigging
ofall he grumbling chars been coming
he pipe forthe last few issues?
down
Almost everytime I open the newest issue I turn
ping and groan
ing about this or that. e's gorten to where I can hit
around and find somebody ese
the Kenzereo boards and find one or «wo com
plaints about how somone’s unhappy with the
direction of the comic and are ether going to a)
Stop reading the comic until they sce changes
implemented that suit them (But what about the
rest of us who don't have the same problem, of
don’t have any problems withthe com, period)
Orb) Stop reading the comic period, end of story.
Tn the comic ivelf came that useless debate
about the language in KODT, with some crying
foul and threatening to
the "graphic" rable tlk.
buying the comic over
I wonder, ofall the readers who took offense
playing a a con, and some stranger they're playing
with forthe frst time urtered a “curse word” when
the Master Lich kiled his paladin/lericetc, do
they rise our of their seat and storm off to show
they're unhappy with the language? Do they pull a
Brian and flip the table everytime somebody
‘mouths of” ata fellow player, oF dare ] mention,
an NPC? Of course they don't
So why raise hell about it happening in the
pages of a comic book tha's al about gamers when
the gamers you know in real life are just like the
CHARACTERS we ee portrayed ina comic stip?
‘What abou the hoopla re: Sar’ "too realistic’
portaic on cover 962 Nevermind that Sara was in
standard clothes, and not ina chainmail bik
some sot of provocative pose that all but made her
Took nude. No. It was a mockup ofthe Mona Lisa,
and like the latest coves, attempted to make her
real for us who've only seen her asa 2D character
on a fla shee of pape forthe ls few yeas inthe
comics, We have this awesome cover artist try to do
her justice by drawing her a she lok in real life
atthe Game Table, anda reader or two got up in
arms over Sara being some sor of wannabe ex sym
bol?
with the “language” and sid it was getting out of
hand, do they ever boyeot ther weekly game if one
cor two players start using “aul language” What do
these players do when they themselves use grown
up" lnguage in the course of a game? Do they get
up, excuse themscres, and head to the nearest res
room to wash their mouths out with soap If theyre
The reader reactions tothe lifelike cover por
crits has boen a diverse as expected, (B. A, any-
store has provided gamers with the coolest games and a place to gather and play. Their new locz-
tion, anchoring the historic Swan's Market, expands on their commitment to promoting the social
aspects of gaming
Once you walk chrough the front door, cis evident chat the tor is run by people who love to game.
The retail space is huge, and stocked with hundreds of different products. Dioramas are sprinkled
throughout the tore, highlighting the games and contributing to the overall atmosphere. There are even
lounge areas where gamers can peruse their purchases. Non-gaming magazines are kept in the lounges
co enterain parents, frends, and spouses while their gamer enjoys himself. The sa at EndGame is
friendly and knowledgeable, Berween che four people who run the store, they have played every game
that they sell. They are dedicated to promoring gaming, and take pride in cei ability o talk with every-
‘one from parents to hard-core games.
The highlight of the store is the mezzanine level. There are areas dedicated to role-playing and minia-
ture gaming. The miniature tables are designed to accept modular terrain boards, and the store has 2
wie vatiery to choose from. ‘There are also boxes of seenery pieces, everything from buildings to tees
to destroyed vehicles is available.
The store is open seven days a week, ftom 10 am co 7 pm. The game room says open until 10 pm,
Monday through Friday. There ae several events each week and the complete calendar can be found on
their website hetp://www.endgameoakland,com.
No matter what type of gamer you are, this store is worth checking out. 1
[Ete east bay gaming community, EndGame is it. For the pas three years, this
Issue #99: The Rulez: Lawyerone), and yet how many discusions online or at
the FLGS did you hear about how you hao rush
outand buy KODT 96 just cause ofthe “awesome”
Sara cover First thing I choughe when 1d seen it
‘was "Wow, her air ellis thar short? Okay then,”
and tha was it, didn’c draw my eyes down ro her
bosom, and when I was checking outa the ester
the clerk glanced act, said he'd seen a similar cover
some time back (the Weird Pete cover) and asked
me about the comic. (Total n00b to the Knights
though I did talk him into reading KODT) | start
‘ed ting him how the Knights were getting cover
portraits and I even showed him the B, A. cover
from the previous ish, then opened up the comic
and showed him the Knights, and shared 2 few
UTI exploits with him (He cracked up seeing
Dave's cover the next month)
My point being, nobody, none of my rd blood-
ed buds that! pal around with, nor one of them said
"Hey look dude, Sar’s gor that Bad Grel ching
going” Nobody, and 1 mean everyone I came in
contact with who cither reads my copy of KODT or
who has their own copy and wel talk about the
Latest happenings when atthe comic shop), drooled
and slobered over the Sara cover. You know why?
Cause everyone's to0 mature to go reading things
ino simple comic book covers
Is i me, of are people actualy taking these
things as serious? Wasnt it a few issues ago that
somebody wrote in about the cost of the comic
going up, bur che quality was dropping?
Excuse me?
‘The quality ofthe comic has gotten beter ifnot
improved over the not so recent issues
But after allthis time of readeship growing
steadily, mosly by word of mouth at FLGS or at
conventions, now some of the readers who came
onboard at the suggestion ofa frend or reales are
stating to smub the comic over petty issues lke lan-
guage, the prce on the cover, the “all too exaggerat
cd but realistic portrait of Sara" and we're supposed
to buy these arguments?
‘C'mon people it's a ficking comic fr crying out
ficking loud! 1 don'c remember hearing too many
people complain about the 2.95 cover price when
all you gor were the 22 pages of strips and maybe a
page or two of ads and company plugs.
Like when he issues started bulking up around
issue 80 and nobody made a fuss when the cover
price went up — and it didn’t even go up that
much; and yet Kenerco was probably killing them-
selves monthly putting so much thought and effore
into KODT.
My point is we'll here onthe boards, atthe
game shops, every day of every month because we
‘were drawn to this comic because it was a throw
back to the old days of gaming, when we were
younger and "work” was the only 4 letter bad word.
Twas ik taking a microscope to ourselves and our
tamer friends, and when we found this small indie
comic and picked it up at someone eles’ ecom-
smendation, we fell in love immediacely
How many letters pour in monthly, saying
“character x reminds me of my old frend 2.” How
smany of you readers went out and dusted off your
ld manuals and guides, or coughed up some
‘money to get new game materials and either rebuilt
the old group and built up a new group from
scratch? How many of those writing the complines
and boyeoting the comic are doing it because they
realy dont like the direction of the eomic? Fd say
Nothing’ changed. B. A is sill geting out-
smaned by Brian here and there, geting one over
con the UT+1 now and then, and the Black Hands
ate tll themselves. The bottom lin is that every
body picking up a pen to write in or everyone
fing on to Kenzerco and voicing thei complaints
aren't doing it because they'e unhappy with the
comic; theyre really unhappy with chemsehves (or
‘unhappy with whatever’ going on in thei ie
Realistically, the comic is about good times with
fiends, and that includes the quirks and shortom-
ings, and just about the whol experience of gaming
and having a good time. Fo these unhappy “uns:
ified” readers to pick up a pen and complain, and
0 much of it happening so recent is geting real
sick and just a waste of everybody's time. What do
you do when your favorite wv show goes bland? You
‘change the channel, Or you turn off the tv, Or, and
this isthe sticker, oF you unplug the tv and cozy up
to the latest issue of KODT, unless you prefer 0
‘cory up with some old faves.
What I'm saying i, if the comic isnt going
where you want it, ifyou'te unhappy over the art
or the language or the cover pric, then simply drop
it ftom your pull list and get on with your life
Dorit wite in your complaint or email i in, just
drop the tide cold turkey and get on with living,
‘much like the res of us cant go a month without
our favorite foursome. Donit waste my time
demanding changes in the comic, or try 10 guilt
anyone imo doing your bidding. Ifthe comic is no
longer your flavor, put ie down and pick something
be up.
Te had it up to here with reading complaint
afier complaint INSIDE the pages of KODT. You
«an tell me, well don read the lecters pages then, or
you can sy, then you drop the le yours and et
me keep comphining and b-ching and moaning
But I love reading the leters pages cause thats
‘where the humanity ofthe comic comes fiom, heat
ing the stories and real ite tales of other gamers ike
ime out there, Cause che levers drive the comic as
much as the strips do. Where would "The Empty
Chait" beif some readers hadnt requested a posting
of i@ How would we know what address we can
imal swag to for our roops oversea?
To Joly and the D-Team —As the holidays are
here and we all gather with those we love (or chose
brave heroes overseas fighting for our freedoms
who're gathering with cei gaming groups and run
ring adventures on thee fee time), I want the peo-
pleat Kenzer to know they'e doing an outstanding
job.
People will alvays find reasons to. complain
about the product, bur it ist for any faults of
yours, the company and its reps. At the end of the
day, business is business, and when your jb isthe
Knights of the Dinner Tablé® Magazine * January, 2005
best damn job in the whole workd (D-TEAMH!), I
dont want you flipping through reader-mail or
forum topics and feel that youre doing something
wrong.
Keep fithful 10 the comic as you've always
done, and we the readers and games and husbands
and wives and fathers and mothers and sons and
dlaughters will kep coming back 10 share in the
UT+ls adventures (im having 2 hard time facing
the fact theyre gone, so Pl keep refering ro the
Knights as UT+1)
May all your hits be cris,
Mist Bones
Tha forthe letter, Bones, An thanks for
caring enough 10 send 43a "Job well done!” and
_gewing our back. 18s much appreciate.
To be honest he recent upswing in complaints
«appearing in KODT is probably more my fle.
than anything ese. Let me explain.
You see, we get hundreds of ita by’ leters
each month, We love reading thers and its nice
10 know so many people chink were doing a great
job. Bus we abo receive the occasional ler of
complaint The rato is probably 20 postive lt-
ter forever negative one
Each sue when [sit down to lay the sue
T have to decide which leters to run. Oddly
enough, (amd my partners have complained to
It’s HERE!
The 2005 Full
Color KODT
Wall Calendar
‘At Game Stores Everywhere!
or order it at www.kenzerco.com‘me about this inthe pas) Im usually more inclined to run a complaint than
4 postive letter. Why? Because asthe editor | ahory want ro know how were
dling, My theory 1s if L run a few ofthe complains each isu one of two
things will happen. 1. Those readers who disagree with the complains will
terite into voice their own opinions (as you obviously have). Or 2. Those
readers who agree with the complaints will el encouraged to chime in,
For example when a handful of eters came in bac ro back a fewo months
ago complaining about the language in KODIT we felt it was important to
see how our readership a large felt om the subject. Afer running those lees
the reponse was overwhelming and it soon became clear thatthe vast major-
ity of our readers were fine with the language. Furthermore, it became clear
‘thas most of you didn’ want us to censor oureloes If hadn't run those er
ter of complaint wed sill be second guesing ourelves and wondering just
hw big am isu it really was,
Another reason yore seeing more complaints so lates because our read
ehip is growing (as you pointed out). The larger a family becomes the more
squabbles there sem t0 be. More readers mean mare likes and dike,
Obviously we cant please everyone. Some readers want t0 see more
Blackhand strips for exerpl, Others want tose les of them. Some love the
“Hard Eight gong. Others hate JoJo and bis comrades with a pasion
So asan editor each isue is something ofa balancing act. Some of you like
longer story arcs hat span several issues. Others wane more stand alone strips
thas are resolved quickly. We ary to plea as many readers as posible know
ing tha its virualy imposible to do so. We do the best we can.
The Letters Page in KODT along with Back Room at the Garmes Pit
and the online forums are invaluable, The allow readers to have their say
(good or bad) ana fuel disucuson. I know it might sometimes appear that
everyone i complaining or beng ety. But we have thick skin here. We love
noes feedback. And lt fac it. Of times the complaint are vid.
Numerous times we've dropped features (and added new ones) from the
KODIT line up based directly on reader feedback. And ironcaly enough, a
dot of you have been writing in ro complain abous the complaints. So maybe
ale back on running so many ofthe in she ature.
‘And i is encouraging that as we appraoch issue 100, s0 many of you have
deen writing in 0 simply sy you trast our instincts and 10 “steep doing
shat youve been doing.”
‘So heep the feedback coming. We do read each and ever leer even if we
dni have time t answer them all. —foly
&: KODT Fiction....?
Ati bre se TembeCavi Marvin sry wl he
che story of the Doomsday Pack which I guess was par of the same
story. What an epic adventure. I recently sit down and reread issues 65
‘or so through 95 and was amazed at just how many ploc seeds had een
planted many issues ago that became important later on. I realy like
reading series of paperback novels. Which brings me tothe point of this
Jeter. Have you ever given any thought to doing some Knights of the
Dinner Table fiction or paperback novel?
‘Think about it. The comics are basically works of fiction anyway with
ar as place holders. And youve commented your inablity to draw pret-
ty much means you have co keep the characters at che abl. (Not that I'm
complaining. I think part of the charm of KODT js the face thatthe
characters DO remain atthe table and that it has forced you to be more
creative) Fiction might bea nice way for you to explore other aspect of
the characters and the KODT megaverse.
Asa huge fan ofall chings KODT, [ would cerainly buy them up.
Tom Davies
Asa master of fact, Tve been planning to present some KODT fiction for
«few years now, Ive just een puting tof because Tve had 10 much on my
‘plate Look for evra salient: of KODT fiction in 2005 as we test the
‘waters. [recently finshed up a few saris tha I fel turned out prety good.
Tim interested in secng how they go over and then well cake it rom there. —
Joly
8
Issue #99: The Rulez Lawyer™As Easy as A,B, C...
WELL, THAT WENT NICELY DIDN'T IT?
RECAP: OUR HEROES
RN ee Br
rey
Ta
OH, SURE -- YOUR CHARACTERS ACTUALLY
MANAGED TO SURVIVE FOR TWENTY
WHOLE MINUTES BEFORE DYING THAT TIME.
DAMN THOSE ANGELS BEAT \
YOHNNY THRIFT-FINGERS AROUND
UKE A RED-HEADED S72? CH.2,
CONAN
ard ae
YOU KNOW GUYS, NOW THAT
YOU'VE BEEN "CHASTENED"... HEY, CAN THE SERMON THERE, FATHER MURPHY.
1 1
ONE WAY OR ANOTHER WE’RE TAKIN’ THE
OMEGA PATH THROUGH THIS DUNGEON.
\
i KNOW = 19 86 MICE IE You'D sant
COOPERATING A LITTLE ANDO WORK WITH US HERE,
UM, HOW MANY TIMES
HAS IT BEEN NOW? S/X,.2?
\
MAYBE NOW YOU'LL SEE THE
LIGHT BND MEND YOUR WAYS.
\
“WORK” WITH YOUP DON'T TELL |
ME YOU ACTUALLY EXPECT
Mé TO FUDGE THe RESULTS,
HOW ‘BOUT JUST RUNNING IT
THE WAYIT WAS WRITTEN?
a THE “OMEGA”
( *) DOOR AND
CHOOSING
ONE OF THe
OTHERS?
RUNNING IT THE WAY IT WAS WRITTEN?
/
JUST WHAT ARE YOU INFERRING?
/ YOU SAID IT YOURSELF -- THE HMA
GAVE THIS DUNGEON AN 83
| PERCENT PC LETHALITY RATING.
| | CMON, BA
50 FAR YOU'RE BATTIN’ t
A HUNDRED PERCENT. It’s OBVIOUS
\ YOU'RE
ver mses | BLOCKING.
EXACTLY 6S WRITTEN.
\
A PAIR OF FRICKIN’ ANGELS OF DEATH??
1
THOSE GUYS ARE LIKE DEM/-GAWD TOUGH!
YEAH, I WAS DEAD BEFORE ’
T COULD EVEN RETRIEVE MY
LUCKY DIE TO ROLL FOR INIT? |
|
‘THE WAY THEY KEEP COMING
AT US =~ YOU'D THINK IT WAS |
PERSONAL OR ome)
THEY WOULD’A BEEN A
MATCH FOR US IN OUR PRIME!
‘THERE'S SOMETHING
VERY O00 ABOUT
THIS DUNGEON...
Knights of the Dinner Table” Magazine
NOW, ONE TIME SQUIRRELY HIT ME IN THE G’NADS WITH
STICK AND I ACTUALLY BLACKED OUT FROM THE PAIN.”
—Pete Ashton, Bundle of Trouble #6, Carry a Big Stick
* January, 2005 910 ANYONE ELSE NOTICE THE PATTERN?
AND I GOT CHASED BY
THAT AARNZ HOUND.
THE FIRST ROOM HAD A PAIR OF AARAKIAN BROOD
WATCHERS... THEN WE RAN INTO THAT DIRE AARDVARI
THE ADARUPIKUS.. \ ne
GOOD LORD -- THE ENCOUNTER PLACEMENT
‘APPEARS TO BE IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER...
GUESS THAT EXPLAINS
‘THE ALLIGATOR IN
THe UTILITY CLOSET.
\
WONDER WHAT THE
SIGNIFICANCE \S?
ANGELS
AND THERE DOESN'T SEEM TO BE ANY
REGARO FOR DUNGEON ECOLOGY.
ANGELS PLACED NEXT TO
GIANT AMOEBAS? I1’S CRAZY.
NOW, NOW, SARA,
DON'T FORGET.
COLINTLESS HUNDREDS OF MAN
HOURS AND LIMITLESS
TALENT WENT INTO THIS.
SAY WHAT...
‘THAT CAN'T BE
I RIGHT -- CAN ITP,
HELL, JO Jo ZEKE
HIMSELF WORKED ON IT.
\
T SERIOUSLY
DouBT THEY
SUST OPENED
‘THE DOOR AND
DUMPED N
‘A BUNCH OF
MONSTERS,
ANKOU, ANKOU'S SKELETAL DRAUGHT
HORSES OF DOOM, ANT, GIANT, ANT
HUNTER, ANT LION, ANT MEN...
WHAT THE
HELL?
°o
BABBLING
INSTIGATOR,
BABOON-MAN,
BARRACUDA...
HELL...? NOW
SIR, T FINISHED COMPILING ALL THE MONSTERS
FROM THE HACKLOPEDIAS INTO ONE DATABASE.
\
IT WAS A LOTOF WORK BUT I THINK I MANAGED TO
INCLUDE THEM ALL --3,700 CREATURES.
GOOD WORK, SON.
\
WHAT ABOUT THE MONSTERS WE'VE
BEEN RUNNING IN HACKJOURNAL?
10.
Issue #99: The Rulez Lawyer”TLL GET ON THOSE RIGHT AFTER LUNCH,
|
AFTER THAT, I NEED TO HELP WACO BOB
WITH THE MAPS FOR LEVELS 97 THRL 108,
NS
(OKAY, BUT BEFORE YOU DO
THAT MAKE SURE YOU GET WILL 00, SIR.
Me THOSE MAGE i
SCANS, I a FOR, I DELEGATED
THAT TASK TO
—~ TROY. TLL see
pol
¢ 72
a HOW HE’S DOING.
TROY..? BUT INE GOT HM
WORKING GN DUNGEON écaLOGY.
‘THAT's way IT's Yirae You Ger
Hin THAT MONSTER DATABASE
50 HE CAN CRUNCH THE NaMBERS \
‘NO WORK THE SCIENCE.
UM, THAT'S We
WANTED TO TALK
TO YOu, SiR.
TURNS OUT TROY IS MORE AN “IDEA
GUY" THEN AN ACTUAL DEVELOPER, SIR.
\
HE TOLD ME SO HIMSELF -- HE'S
GOT NO KNACK FOR DONG THE
DETAIL WORK. NO INTEREST EITHER.
1
HE'S REALLY
SLOW T00 ~
THAT'S WHY T PuT
HIM TO WORK ON
— SCANNING THOSE
HELL, GARY DIDN'T HAVE IT LIKE THAT.
/ GONNA
HE WORKED IN THE TRENCHES
(ON A PROJECT JUST THE
SAME AS THE REST OF US.
| SIR WE'VE GOT TO FAR ASE
GO 10 PRESS
( INA FEW DAYS...
Now
SO WHAT THE HELL
ARE YOU TELLING MEP
|
THE SCHMUCK Just
WANTS TO SIT AROUND
ALL DAY AND DREAM UP
IDEAS FOR THE REST OF
50 WHO ARE WE
PUT ON
DUNGEON ECOLOGY?
1
EVERYBODY'S
SWAMPED KS
CAN TELL.
THIS PROJECT WAS
HIS FRICKIN’ IDEAL!
I
HRMMPPHH...
"DEA GUY” MY ASS.
\
T RUN THIS OFFICE
AND T AIN'T
GOT IT LIKE THAT.
eo!
He's sus
NOT HE
YEAH AND I'M STILL BOGGED DOWN
WITH TREASURE PLACEMENT AND
WRITING THE BACKSTORY AND THE
"CHOOSE OUR OWN PATH” MATRICES...
f
-SIGH- OKAY,
HERE'S WHAT T
WANT YOU TO DO...
JUST SORT THE DATABASE ALPHABETICALLY
AND PLACE THE MONSTERS IN THAT ORDER.
(yw aeeno, x oon
| UNDERSTAND. ALPHABETICALLY?
WHAT'S NOT TO
OR }
{ es
co 4
i) \
‘START OPENING DOORS
AND TOSSIN’ IN MONSTERS.
/
{LL WORK UP SOME LAME BACKSTORY
THAT MAKES SENSE OF IT ALL.
I WorKeD FoR
FLATAROY'S
“SIGH- THE FIRST
CASUALTY OF AN
IMMINENT DEAD-
LINE'S QUALITY
‘CONTROL.
AYE, AYE, SIR.
IF YOU SAY $0.
2 sLer's See WHAT YOU HAVE HERE. A DOZEN HENS? Six GOATS?
‘SHEEP??!"
‘TWELVE CARRIER PIGEONS? A HERD OF
Knights of the Dinner Table® Magazine * January, 2005
—BA Felton, Tales from the Vault #3
IWHAT YOU'RE GRIPING ABOUT.
f
YOU STUBBORN FOOLS -- YOU'D THINK AFTER MINE FAILED ATTEMPTS
IT WOULD EVENTUALLY SINK IN. YOU CAN'T GO THAT ROUTE.
\ HE'S RIGHT, GUYS, LET'S
\ WELL T DON'T FEEL SORRY FOR pee.
+ YOU WERE GIVEN YOU. NOT ONE BIT. YOU GOT. TRY THe ALPHA DOOR,
SWI, Fare warning || EXACTLY WHAT You ASKED FoR, ie
BAwa BUT OANO, YOU
{POR suet nap 10.60
THROUGH THE
—~ OMEGA DOOR.
ware
AND LET
B.A. WIN
I'S NOT FAIR, B.A,
AND TAKE NAMES AND YOU KEEP
APTER GARY BUCKLED
WOULDN'T LOOK LIKE
'
SHE'S ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.
WERE NOTHING MORE THAN
COMMON DUNGEON TRASH,
“THAN JUST ANOTHER ROMP
12
10 BALANCE OUT THE DEMONS $0 IT yaBles. IT cust
BESIDES, THEY'RE
1
10 THE ANGELIC GUARDIANS YOU
JUST THAT = EVERY MONSTER!
YOU GOTTA SHIFT YER PARA
DIGM VERE. THS 1S FAR MORE
‘THROUGH ORCS AT THE GATES.
\
YOUNE GOT 10 EXPECT THE
UNEXPECTED -~ TAS |S, APTER-
ALL, A HARDEIGHT MASTERPIECE,
<- We KICKASS
THROWING THOSE DEATH ANGELS AT US, 1 DON'T THINK pda eae
capes, niey Azer ven Rea woxsrens, MWOELS SHOULD || You neuRe Paar?
THEY WERE ONLY PUT IN THE MACKLOPEDIAS Use Te "Dery
UNDER THE PRESSURE “FIGHTING”
AN OCCULT GAME. SEEMS WRONG.
LOOK, LET'S CHALK THIS UP TO EXPERIENCE.
1
WE CAN START UP AGAIN NEXT WEEK BACK AT THE
HALFLING TOWN, DERBIN WITH NEWV CHARACTERS,
I
ACTUALLY, YOU MIGHT WANT TO BRING SEVERAL
NEW CHARACTERS IF TONIGHT’S SESSION
HEH, BASED ON TONIGHT'S SESSION
THINK I MAY NEED TO BRING AN
ENTIRE REAM OF CHARACTER SHEETS.
THOUGHT INTO DOING
cust put some | WoW! we Gor SPANKED HARD
SOMETHING DIFFERENT.
IST TIME WE GOT TO HIM LIKE THIS He DESIGNED
‘A DUNGEON WITH SPIKED PITS IN EVERY 10-FOOT SQUARE.
—Dove Bozwell, Bundle of Trouble #2, Spaced Out
Issue #99: The Rulez Lawyer”
‘YOU KNOW 08, YOU ONLY
HAVE YOURSELF TO SLANE.
WELL, YOU'RE THE ONE wo
INSISTED WE GO wiTH A CHAOTIC
‘NEUTRAL PARTY $0 YOU COULD
"MESS" WITA THE HIRELINGS.
HEY, 1 JUST WANT To BE ABLE
10 BITCH SLAP A MOUTHY
PACK BEARER EVERY NOW
AND THEN «= WHAT'S:
WRONG WaT THAT?
ACTUALLY SPENT
WAS ANY INDICATOR OF YOUR FLTURE TACTICS. pice iS
UP CHARACTERS
THAN T 01D PLAYING.
\
\
\
SOMETHING,AAAH, YES, THAT'S IT -- IT ALL MAKES PERFECT SENSE...
\
THE OLD MAN IN THE GALLERY OF DOORS SAI SOMETHING ABOUT
COSM BEING UP AGAINST NEFARIAN POWERS. I SHOULD HAVE REALIZED
IT SOONER -- IT ONLY MAKES SENSE THAT THEY’D WANT TO WEED
OUT ANY NON-GOOD CANDIDATES RIGHT FROM THE WORD GIT-GO,
\
THAT THE SECRET TO CRACKING
THIS NUT IS TO PLAY CHARACTERS
OF GOOD ALIGNMENT.
WHATTA YA TRYIN’
TO Say, BIG GUY?
50 WHAT...? THIS IS ALL
SO WE PLAY HIS GAME,
SOME TRICKY SCHEME OF
SIGHT'S 10 FORCE 1
HEY IF OL’ JO JO’S GAME IS TO FORCE US CHARACTER’
“Se Pay Sau ONTO THE STRAIGHT AND NARROW -- SO 8€ IT. WE RUN GOOD S,
(CLEAN CHARACTERS?
\ |
IF if GETS us
PROBABLY HIS PAST THOSE
Piemee|| Sam yA
A CHALLENGE em
TO THE RANK OuR »Y TWO ath)
_ ANDFILE. SHOES LATER ON. |
GREAT, YOU'RE NOT GOING 10 LECTURE
OKAY, T/VE FINISHED ME ON THAT PALADIN-ASSASSIN I TRIED
REVIEWING YOUR TO RUN THAT ONE TIME ARE YA?
NEW CHARACTERS, \
Whe ARE YOU GUYS, NO, BUT TAMGONG TO OH, THAT. DID YOu EVEN
5 ABSOLUTELY SURE YOU Eg UL THAT Dee BOTHER READING
st CAN PULL TAS OFF. "BNT be Lanril 6002, My BACKSTORY?
SERIOUSLY, IN ALL THE
YEARS WE'VE BEEN PLAYING,
YOU'VE NEVER BEEN ABLE
TO RUN LAWFUL GOOD
CHARACTERS BEFORE,
—~
(OF COURSE NOT -- T FIGURED I'D SAVE THE TIME AND YEAH, THE POOR GUY
UST WAIT FOR YOUR MAIRBRAINED EXPLANATION. ToSENDERETO
TOTALLY MISUNDERSTOOD.
WELL IF YOU HAD, IT WOULD HAVE BEEN PERFECTLY
OBVIOUS WHY KNUCKLES THE PIOUS 'S LAWFUL GOOD.
He’S GOT A GOOD SOUL BUT
CIRCUMSTANCES BEYOND HIS CONTROL HAVE
FORCED HiM INTO THE WAYS OF THE THIEF.
\
No OTHER
CHARACTER
CLASS PROPERLY
— ENCOMPASSES
HIS SKILL SET.
KNUCKLES THE Plows?
‘52 SFORMER CHAMPION? WHAT A JOKE! WHO DID THEY PIT HIM AGANSTP THE FLY Giaes?
THAT NOBODY COULDN'T SHAVE H/T POINTS OFF A BOUND KOBOLD WITH A SHARP KNIFE”
—Bob Herzog, KODT #70, The Wager of Woe
Knights of the Dinner Table® Magazine * January, 2005
13I'S TEARING HIM APART INSIDE -- THIS WASN'T THE LIFE HE WANTED TO LEAD. TO
BE HONEST HE THINKS OF HIMSELF AS MORE OF A SECURITY OFFICER THAN A THIEF.
MY, MY, SEEMS LIKE YOU PUT
A LOT OF THOUGHT INTO
\
/
IM LIKE ROBERT REDFORD IN THAT MOVIE,
SNEAKERS. 1 ONLY USE MY SKILLS FOR GOOD.
|
HECK, I CAN'T EVEN PICK POCKETS! LOOKiT -
ZERO PERCENT. 1 EVEN TOOK THE TRUTHFUL
FLAW 2S & DEMONSTRATION OF MY GOOD INTENT.
1M A TOTAL WHITE HAT. MY DWARVEN CLAN RELIED ON ME TO TEST OUR DEFENSES.
CIRCUMVENTING THe
PREREQUISITES FOR THIEF.
1
T.DON'T TRUST YOUR
SINCERITY FOR & MOMENT ~~
BUT I’M GONNA ALLOW IT.
|
UST THIS ONCE,
THAT'S BECAUSE T KNOW YOU CAN'T
PULL IT OFF, A LAWFUL GOOD THIEF?
!
BE FOREWARNED, 608 --1'LL BE KEEPING
‘AN EXCEPTIONALLY CLOSE EYE ON YOU.
GO AHEAD. 1 GOT
NOTHIN’ TO HIDE.
THAT BRINGS US TO
YOU, AVE... SORT OF LIKE
1 BEN AFFLECK
EL REDEEMER PLAYIN’ MAMLET.
THE PALADINP v
\ A TRAIN WRECK
I THINK WAITING TO HAPPEN.
WE'VE BEEN DOWN
THIS ROAD BEFORE.
\
AT'S Quite
DON’T WORRY, I CAN 00 IT, BA.
MY DAD MAKES US GO ON CHRISTMAS AND EASTER.
1
ESPN WASN'T WORKING AT THE LODGE SO I HAD
NOTHING TO DO ANYWAYS -- AND 1’M SO GLAD I WENT.
/
I'VE TOTALLY GROWN REALLY...?
AS A ROLE-PLAYER SINCE THE \
LAST TIME 1 RAN A PALADIN. YOU ACTUALLY
\ WENT TO
1 EVEN WENT TO CHURCH CHURCH?
WITH MY DAD AND BROTHER /
ON CHRISTMAS LAST MONTH,
THERE WERE SOME SK/
BUNNIES SITTING IN THE
PEW IN FRONT OF US,
1
‘THEY WERE TOTALLY HOT.
YOu SCOPE OUT THE
WOMEN IN CHURCH? -SIGH-
1
YOU'RE GOING TO HELL, DAVE.
(D2 ..SOME OF GARY AND JO JO’S EARLY WORK WAS DROP-DEAD LETHAL. HELL, THERE WERE SO MANY PLOT
WAGONS RUNNING THROUGH THOSE BOOKS THEY HAD RUTS WORN INTO 'EM.””
—Pete Ashton, KODT Special Edition #2, This Town for Sale
14 Issue #99: The Rulez Lawyer™AND 10 DEMONSTRATE
HOW SINCERE T AM, I WROTE
THE CODE OF CHIVALRY FROM
THE PLAYER'S GUIDE ON
THIS CHRISTMAS CARD.
SORTA LOOKS LIKE A HOLY WRIT
‘OR SOMETHING ON PARCHMENT.
\
YOU WANT ONE? 1
Mars
NEVER SEND ANY OLT
AWESOME? "50 I GOT TONS OF
a BLANK ONES - T
ee TOOK "EM FROM
MeN MY STEP-MOW’S DEN.
HEY, BA, AREN'T YOU GONNA COMMENT ON WHITE LOTUS?
\
1 PUT A LOTTA WORK INTO HIS ETHICAL BACKGROUND.
HE EVEN GAVE TO A CHARITY ONCE. AND HE SWORE OFF HARD DRINK.
SO WHITE LOTUS 'S QUITE THE HOLY ROLLER IS HEP
‘90 HAVE YOU PAID YOUR SHAREDWEOMER FEE
(ON ALL THOSE SPELLS IN HIS SPELL BOOK?
/
WELL, COPYRIGHT LAW IS A VERY MORALLY GREY AREA
B.A. =~ THE LOTUS STAFF ATTORNEYS HAVE AN
| APPEAL PENDING. DUE PROCESS AND ALL YOU KNOW...
SURE BRIAN. LET'S GET
STARTED -- SHALL WE?
OK, $0 YOU'RE ALL MARCHING
‘ON FOOT TOWARDS DERBIN,
‘THE NEAREST INHABITED TOWN TO
WHAT LEGEND HOLDS AS THE
“BIGGEST DAMN DUNGEON EVER.”
8A, JUST TO MAKE THINGS CLEAR
BEFORE YOU NAIL US ON PRIOR
KNOWLEDGE -- FOR THE RECORD
IW) LOTUS SENT OUT A HOMING
BEETLE JUST BEFORE OUR PREVIOUS
GROUP ENTERED THE OMEGA DOOR.
ILMAQE A NOTE ABOUT
THAT, BRIAN. THANKS,
(OKAY, SO AS YOU NEAR THE TOWN,
A BANDAGED PAIR OF
HALFLINGS APPROACHES YOU.
1
“PLEASE GOOD SIRS, ]
ALMS FOR THE DOWNTRODDEN?”
GRIFT MARROW? WASN'T
‘THAT ONE OF OUR HIRELINGS?
: | L.DUNNO. x CAN
NEVER REMEMBER
ME BRUDDER GRIFT MARROW AN’ (
ME BE LURED OUT INTO OLD MAN | =e
THICKET BY & DISHONEST
BAND ‘0 SCOUNDRELS.” YES 808, HE WAS.
\ THANK GAWD, THE
LIMLE GUYS MADE
“We WERE
ae \ IT SAFELY HOME,
WE WERE...”
“0A CHEATIN' ROTTEN BASTARDS STIFFED US//”
r
“ALL WE GOT FER PAY WERE A PAIR OF DWARVEN BOOTS WITH
‘A HOLE IN THE SOLE, OUR TEAM 'O MULES DONE GOT ‘eT BY
WOLVES TOO. WE BARELY MADE IT BACK HOME ALIVE.”
"NOW WE'RE BROKE AND WE PLUM LOST OUR LIVELIHOOD.
‘MAYBE YOU GENTS COULD SPARE US SOME COIN>*
‘SAY WHAT? HeYPP// ARE THEY
| BESMIRCHIN' THe GOOD
WHY YOU UNGRATEFUL NAME OF EL RAVAGERP
LITTLE BASTARDS. Bae
YO, GUYS!
/
1M GONNA OPEN UP A CAN /
YER BLOWIN’ IT,
WE'RE LAWFUL GOOD -- REMEMBER?
v
FOR CRYIN’ OUT LOUD -- CAN’T YOU SEE
B.A. IS JUST TRYIN’ TO PUSH OUR BUTTONS?
DION’T YOU HEAR WHAT THOSE \
NPC-BASTARDS SKID ABOUT
OUR OLD CHARACTERS? 0 we PUT
‘THEIR NAMES
ON A LIST
AND THEY'RE SAYIN IT aN seme
RIGHTTO OUR FACE. "Tue scope
| LATER.
(52% Give HIM THE OWARVEN HAND GESTURE FOR B/TE ME MISTER PEON!...”
- —Bob Herzog, Bundle of Trouble #10, The Do-Gooders
Knights of the Dinner Table” Magazine * January, 2005. 15THE B/G GUY |S RIGHT -- B.A, ALMOST
TRICKED US RIGHT OFF THE BAT.
MEANT \
ue PRIDE MACE NICE aN WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE REALLY GOOD. LIKE
LET It ROLL OFF OUR BACKS, GANDH| BUT WITH A BUNCH OF SWORDS AND STUFF.
: ‘
50 WHAT 90 YOU WANT ME TO
oer 2 1 DUNNO. BE NICE TO ‘EM AND
. OAT ONCE || DOP LET THESE GUYS WALKP — crite’ Give THEM SOME MONEY.
AND PAST THOSE u
te ANGELS IT'LL BE & We DID WORK THEM OvER
DIFFERENT STORY.
YO! NISTER BLEEDING HEART —- ‘BUT WHAT THE HELL ~~
LET'S NOT OVERDO IT. AW'RIGHT? \
\ SINCE WHITE LOTUS IS A BIG
‘SOFTIE WHO LIKES BEING TAKEN
WE GOT NO LEGAL OBLIGATIONS, HERE. ADVANTAGE OF BY VAGRANTS,
\ T LIP ‘EM EACH A COPPER.
THEIR FORMER EMPLOYERS ARE DEAD 1
1 GUESS HE AND WE DON’T KNOW THEM FROM ADAM. THAT OUGHT'TA BUY
REALLY DID GO
TO CHURCH...
| YA A NICE GRUEL SUPPER
FUR-FOOT. NOW SCRAM/”
TO YOU AND ME THEY’RE JUST
A COUPLE OF UNFORTUNATES
WHO HAVE LOST THEIR WAY IN THE
WORLD LIKE MILLIONS OF OTHERS...
GEE BRIAN, THAT WAS A M/SERLY ALM, REMEMBER --JUST ‘BY THE WAY, WE'RE IN TOWN TO PICK
1 BECAUSE WE'RE LAWFLIL UP SUPPLIES -- LET'S PACK SMART
WHY EVEN BOTHER? GOOD DOESN'T MEAN AND LIGHT SO WE CAN AVOID
bas 10 DOLE OuT HAVING TO SADDLE OURSELVES
HEY, LAY OFF SISTER CHRISTIAN. et ae TH ANY NPCS THIS TIME,
\
AND TRANSIENT HIRELINGS WiLL ONLY
MY CHOSEN CHARITY 1S THE WHO STUMBLES SERVE TO PROVIDE, Bd, WITH
LOTUS PROTEGE’ FOUINDATION. ACROSS OLR PATH. ‘MORE BUTTONS TO PUSH.
T GAVE AT THE MANOR
BEFORE LEAVING HOME. i
IN GAME TERMS MUMBLING A
FEW BLESSINGS AND
FEIGNING SYMPATHY WILL
(GO ABOUT AS FAR AS
DROPPING A CO/N IN A TIN CUP,
\
(S21 REMEMBER TRYING TO LEAP THROUGH THE PLATE GLASS WINGOW BUT THINGS ARE KINDA BLURRY AFTER THAT.
T REMEMBER BEING THANKFUL I WAS WEARING CLEAN UNDERWEAR DURING THE AMBULANCE RIDE.”
—Dare Bozwell, Bundle of Trouble #6, Nitro’s Revenge
Issue #99: The Rulez Lawyer™
aM
24
wicken KewLy
16.LATER THAT NIGHT AS A FLURRY OF BUTTONS ARE BEING PUSH
AS YOU'RE WAITING FOR THE HALF-OGRE SHROOM
HEAD TO RETURN WITH HIS MAP A COUPLE OF TOUGH
THUGS ENTER THE TAVERN LOOKING FOR TROUBLE,
/ UM, I FLASH A FRIENDLY SMILE
‘AND AVERT MY EYES. I DON’T
THEY seem to Be «WANT TO PROVOKE THEM,
EYE-BALLIN’ YOU
PRETTY 6009, B08.
I OFFER TO BUY
'EM A DRINK.
SAY, I THINK YOU
GUYS ARE STARTING
0 GET THE HANG OF
THIS. GOOD JOB,
THE WALF-OGRE
CONSIDERS YOUR
OFFER OF TWO.
HUNDRED GOLD FOR
THE MAP BUT DECLINES,
TO BE HONEST, THERE'S BEEN CONSIDERABLE
INTEREST IN THIS HERE MAP RECENTLY.
H
VE HAD AT LEAST SIX OFFERS ON IT...
/ aveioer, auRioet, 27LL MaKe tr
TWO-FIFTY. BUT YOU ONLY
GET TEN PERCENT OF THE
LOOT INSTEAD OF TWENTY.
\
YEAH, YEAH, THAT'S
WELL IN THAT CA
CATS Gagan. LES 09 Tr.
TLL ACCEPT YOUR
FINALLY.
WHEW -- FINALLY. WE'VE ASSEMBLED ALL
THE CLUES TO FIND THE DUNGEON AGAIN.
\
LET'S BLOWTHIS |
TOWN. I’M ABOUT TO
FRICKIN’ BURST FROM
HAVIN’ TO PLAY THE
NICE GUY ROUTINE,
1
3/M READY TO
00 SOME HACKIN'’.
YEAH,
Me TOO,
EASY, GUYS, DON’T GET
TOO LAX. WE STILL HAVE
TO STAY SQUEAKY
CLEAN UNTIL WE CAN
WORM OuR WAY PAST
THOSE ANGELS.
v
THEN ALL BETS ARE OFF.
THE DOORS OPEN INTO A MAGNIFICENT
MARBLE AMPHITHEATER.
| WHOAH, B.A!
1
WE GOT "THE TOUR" THE LAST Sik
| tives around -- you caN Just
| PAUSE THE FLAVOR TEXT RIGHT THERE.
YEAH, WE LOOK AROUND
AND ADMIRE THE
SCENERY, YADA, YADA
YADA AND THEN HEAD
STRAIGHT FOR THE
OMEGA DOOR.
PATH BEATEN TO IT BY NOW,
SHOULON’T BE HARD TO
FIND. 1/M SURE THERE'S A
"..J'M GONNA GROIN PUNCH THAT COURT JESTER... 1 OWE HIM, ANYWAYS,
FOR THAT LITTLE '90 YOU HAVE A FEEDBAG RESERVATION’ REMARK.”
—Brian Yan Hoose, Tales from the Vault #3
17
Knights of the Dinner Table® Magazine * January, 2005