Behavior
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B E H AV I O R
What is Behavior?
A behavior is the way a person acts in response to a particular situation.
Why is Behavior Important?
• For children who have experienced trauma, keeping themselves safe becomes the
primary motivator of behavior. Children may appear manipulative or controlling,
when in reality they may be attempting to just keep themselves safe. Safety
trumps all else.
• Behavior is like an iceberg…we only see the small portion above the surface.
Below the surface are the feelings and emotions driving the behavior. The mis-
behavior we see is often a child’s attempt to solve another problem of which we
are unaware.
• Even minor stressors can act as triggers that fill children with emotion and can
result in misbehavior. Misbehavior puts children at risk for maltreatment.
• When caregivers don’t understand why a child is acting out, they are more likely to
focus on “managing” the behavior rather than meeting the child’s need. This is an
ineffective response to misbehavior, like a doctor treating the symptoms of a disease
without considering the cure.
• In order to understand misbehavior, it is important to understand the body’s
stress response.
What is the Body’s
Stress Response?
• Our bodies have a built-in alarm system that signals danger.
Children who have experienced repeated trauma often
have overactive alarms. They are keenly watchful for dan-
ger, and may label non-threatening things as dangerous.
False alarms can happen when children hear, see, smell
or feel something that reminds them of frightening things
from the past. These reminders are called triggers.
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B E H AV I O R
TRIGGERS
Triggers
What Are Some Common Triggers?
• Unexpected change
• Feelings of vulnerability or fear
• Feeling threatened or attacked
• Too much stimulation from the environment
What Does a Triggered
Child Look Like?
• Behaviors resulting from a stress response
typically fall into one of three categories:
flight, fight or freeze.
• What does flight look like?
• Behaviors in which children move away from a
person/situation they feel is a threat
• What does fight look like?
• Behaviors in which children move toward a person/situation they
feel is a threat
• What does freeze look like?
• Behaviors in which children use their minds to move away from a
person/situation they feel is a threat
(holding still while “checking out”)
• Children who have experienced trauma may:
• Appear nervous or jumpy.
• Avoid physical contact.
• Have difficulty sleeping/have nightmares.
• Be confused about what is dangerous and who to go to for protection, especially if the trauma was caused
by a caregiver.
• Have mood swings, for example, shifting quickly between being quiet and withdrawn to being aggressive.
• Demand lots of attention.
• Have trouble paying attention to teachers at school and to parents at home.
• Lose their appetite.
• Go back to “younger” behaviors such as baby talk or wanting adults to feed or dress them.
• Re-enact the scary things they have experienced during play.
• Withdraw from friends or activities they have enjoyed previously.
• Get into fights at school or fight with siblings at home.
• Older children may engage in self-destructive behaviors such as drug or alcohol abuse, cutting themselves or
having unprotected sex.
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B E H AV I O R
TRIGGERS
What Can Be Done?
• Stay calm, no matter what behaviors are displayed. Becoming
upset when dealing with a triggered child can worsen the
behavior.
• Remember the iceberg…try to identify the need below
the surface that is driving the child’s behavior. Focus on
meeting the child’s need rather than on “fixing”
troubling behavior.
• Wait until the child is no longer triggered to talk
about what happened. While triggered, a child is
not able to use the rational part of the brain,
making reasoning ineffective.
• When the child is calm, talk about how to
recognize triggers and what can be done to
increase awareness of emotions to prevent
being triggered, or what can be done to
calm down and manage (or regulate)
emotions.
• As difficult as it can be, try to remember
that these behaviors are not a personal attack,
and likely have little to do with you.
MORE INFORMATION
The National Child Traumatic
Stress Network
Reading this in print? Go to:
http://www.nctsn.org/
Hand Model of the Brain by Dan Siegel
Reading this in print? Go to:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gm9CIJ74Oxw
1∙2∙3 Care 17” x 11” Poster
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TRIGGERING DEVELOPMENTALLY- SUGGESTED TRAUMA-
AGE FLIGHT FIGHT FREEZE
EVENT APPROPRIATE BEHAVIOR SENSITIVE CARE
0-1 yr Unexpected Startle, but is able to self-soothe Excessive sleeping with Cry inconsolably, Dull-looking face and eyes Provide consistent routines
changes in routines or (clasp hands, suck) difficulty arousing caregiver may be
caregivers unable to soothe Look away (disengage) Provide consistent caregivers
Cry, but is able to be comforted Avoid eye contact
Loud, unexpected noises by caregivers Cling to adults Sleep a lot Allow comfort items (thumb, blanket)
Crawl or more away
Strong emotions Fuss Show little emotion Show sensitivity to children’s cues
(often anger) Go from “awake” to Be physically and emotionally
Arch back
What is
“sleep state” quickly available through challenging
Pull & push away feelings / behaviors
the Need Verbalize sympathy
1-3 yrs Unexpected
changes in
Behind the Are excited
about with their
Difficulty paying
attention
Aggressive behavior
(biting, hitting,
“Check out” Help identify & label feelings
routines Behavior? world
Fearfulness
pushing) Unresponsive, does not
appear to hear or
Minimize power / control and focus
on collaboration with the child
Transitions Eager to engage, Cling to adults understand
but can be shy Isolate self from others Encourage movement and exercise
Strangers Have a tantrum Difficulty with learning
Easily frustrated, which can Refuse to participate activities Teach deep, slow breathing games like: blowing candles out,
Crowds, disorder lead to tantrums or aggression through withdrawal Refuse to participate breathing in the smell of roses
and chaotic environments through disruptive
Run or walk Allow extra time for children to prepare for transitions
Anger (real or perceived)
Fear of strangers
away
behavior TRIGGER:
from others Engage in parallel play rather than Throws toys an event or Allow children to take breaks from activities as needed
group play situation that results Give children verbal warnings 5-10 minutes prior to
in negative and/or transitions
disturbing feelings Allow comfort items (blankets, stuffed animals)
– feelings of being
threatened Show sensitivity to children’s cues
or unsafe.
3-5 yrs Unexpected changes Easily excited and talk a lot Run away Get in Ask children, “How can I help you feel safe?”
in routines caregiver’s face
Eager to engage Hide when angry Allow children the time they need to
Transitions regulate their emotions
Easily frustrated, which may lead to Cry inconsolably Throw things ”Check out”
Perceived aggressive aggression See all of the recommendations
behavior Seek comfort items Have a need to tell Difficulty with listed in sections above
Curious about strangers their side of the story learning activities
Disorder and Move away from others
chaotic Watchful when they perceive adult Rapidly escalating Difficulty paying attention
anger Complain frequently of or following directions
environments aches, pains & illnesses aggressive behavior
Need comfort items
Regressive behavior
Seek comfort from familiar caregivers (bathroom accidents,
sucking thumb)
Triggering Event something that triggers a person or makes them feel threatened Fight moving toward the person thought to be a threat
Freeze using the mind to move away from the person thought to be a threat (fighting and returning the negative energy)
(standing still while “checking out”) Flight moving away from the person thought to be a threat (fleeing)
Neighborhoods Matter / Weaving Bright Futures
509.324.1650, 123care@srhd.org
Namka, L. (2002). Help your child deal with feelings of threat: The options: Fight, Flight, Freeze or Deal with the Problem. Visit: angriesout.com/parent9.htm
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