Social Work and

Counseling
THE HELPING RELATIONSHIP
THE HELPING RELATIONSHIP
 Thecounselor-client helping relationship is unique in that is
established as a one-way relationship with the purpose of
resolving a concern and/ or fostering the personal
growth of one person- the client.
 Thecounselor is designated as the helper and assumed to
have the knowledge and training to assist the client in
an intentional and systematic way.
 Helpingrelationship (as defined by Rogers (1961)) as one
“in which at least one of the parties has the intent of
promoting the growth, development, maturity, improved
functioning and improved coping with life of the other.”
 
The goals of helping relationship:
1.Increased awareness or insight and
understanding
2.Relief from suffering

3.Changes of behavior and lifestyle

4.Changes in thoughts and self-

perceptions
 
 
Three Phases of the Helping
Relationship:

Relationship building – the goal is to build a



foundation of mutual trust that promotes the client’s

exploration of the presenting issues.
 Challenging the client to find ways to change – the

client has a deeper level of awareness and

understanding regarding the issues and the helper
then challenges the client to “try on” new ways of
thinking, feeling and behaving.
 Facilitating positive client action – the helper facilitates

client actions that lead toward change and growth in

the client’s life outside the counseling relationship.
 
Characteristic of positive helping relationship: (Seligman 2004)

1. It provides a safe and protective environment for clients

2. It encourages collaboration, with both clients and the helpers

playing an active role in the counseling process

3. It has mutually or a feeling of shared warmth, caring,

affirmation and the respect.

4. Clients can identify with their helpers and perhaps use them

as role models.
5. Client and counselor have an agreement on goals and

procedures; sessions are structured in such a way as to

clearly move toward accomplishment of these goals.
6. Client and counselor view themselves as engaged in a

shared endeavor that seems likely to succeed.

 
Essential Components of a Helping Relationship: (Carl Rogers, 1957
– is the instrumental in determining the core conditions necessary for a beneficial
relationship in counseling.)

1. Congruence – emphasized the importance of being genuine and

real in the relationship. When the counselor is congruent,
interactions with the client are characterized by honesty,
transparency, and openness.
2. Unconditional positive regard for the individual – stressed the

importance of accepting the client without evaluation and judgment.

3. Emphatic understanding needed to be present for the

relationship to be therapeutic –assuring clients that they are

understood; it also can provide a sense of safety and encourage
client exploration. ( Empathy-defined as the understanding of the
client’s experiences and feelings as if they were your own but
without losing as “as if” quality(Roger, 1957)
Necessary Elements for a Therapeutic Relationship:

1. Respect – describes the helping attitude that communicates acceptance of the

client as a person of worth and dignity (Rogers, 1957)
2.Trust – expression of respect and positive regard for the client’s individual worth.
3.Confidentiality – assures clients that whatever they tell will remain private (within
certain limits). This promise allows the client to feel safe and promotes telling
information that would otherwise remain hidden.
4.The use of benevolent power – refers to using the interpersonal influence one
has as a counselor in a careful manner. (According to Strong and Claiborn, 1992),
counselors are influential because of their perceived levels of expertness,
attractiveness and trustworthiness and must use this power responsively in
facilitating change for the clients.
5.Commitment – is carrying out respective responsibilities in the helping relationship
is important for both counselors and clients.

 Counselor responsibilities include delivering specified services and following

ethical guidelines and client responsibilities include a commitment toward working
on his or her problems and investing energy in the counseling process.
 
Checklist of Desirable Counselor Characteristics:
 Intelligent

 Energetic
 Caring
 Trustworthy
 Genuine
 Emotionally stable
 Resourceful

 Unselfish
 Curious
 Good listener
 Realistic
 Dependable
 Hopeful
 Respectful of individual differences
 Maintain balance in own life
 Emphatic
 Optimistic
 Self-confident
 Self-aware
 Creative
 Flexible
 Hardworking
 Insightful
 Hardworking
 Nonjudgmental
 Knowledgeable
 Ethical
 Friendly
 Sense of Humor
 Comfortable with intimacy able to express self clearly
  
Reference:
Introduction to the Counseling Profession, David
Capuzzi, Douglas R. Gross, 2009
 
 
 
 
Counseling

 A planned interaction between the client

and the worker to assist client in altering
his/her present behavior.
 Helps the client through guidance and

support to find a solution to a problem and

make a decision.
 To enhance the client’s ability to understand

his/her situation and adequately cope with

the demands and challenges of life.
Aims of Counseling
 Depending on the needs of the client and the different practice
orientation ,the following are the aims of counseling:
 1. Insight – the acquisition of an understanding of the origins and
development of emotional difficulties leading to an increased
capacity to take rational control over feelings and actions
 2. Self-awareness – becoming more aware of thoughts and
feelings which had been blocked off or denied, or developing a
more accurate sense of how self is perceived by others.
 3. Self-acceptance – the development of a positive attitude
towards self, marked by an ability to acknowledge areas of
experience which had been the subject of self-criticism and
rejection.
 4. Self- actualization or individuation - Moving in the direction
of fulfilling potential or achieving an integration of previously
conflicting parts of self
 5. Enlightenment – assisting the client to arrive at a
higher state of spiritual awakening.
 6. Problem solving – finding a solution to a specific
problem which the client had not been able to resolve
alone.
 7. Psychological education – enabling the client to
acquire ideas and techniques with which to
understand and control behavior
 8. Acquisition of social skills- learning and mastering
social and interpersonal skills such as maintenance of
eye contact, turn-taking in conversations, assertiveness
or anger control.
 9. Cognitive change – the modification or replacement
of irrational beliefs or maladaptive thought patterns
associated with self-destructive behavior.
 10. Behavior change – the modification or
replacement of maladaptive or self-destructive
patterns of behavior
 11. Systemic change – introducing change into

the way in which social systems (families)

operate
 12. Empowerment – working on skills,

awareness, and knowledge which will enable

the client to confront social inequalities.
 13. Restitution – helping the client to make

amends for previous destructive behavior.

 
Phases of Counseling
Preparation Phase:
 Prepare the place
 Prepare needed things like water, tissue

paper
 Review the available relevant documents
 Review the theories, concepts, techniques,

frameworks
 Formulate your hypothesis
 State clearly the objectives for the session
 Prepare self for the session
 Think of a ritual that can be used
Interview/ Session Proper
Welcoming
Introduction of the Worker
Attend to the body language of the client
Make the client feel at ease and
comfortable
Present objectives of the session
Set expectations and rules
Contracting
Know the information about the client
Middle Phase
Ask the client about her feelings
Acknowledge the attributes of the client
Be sensitive to client’s expression, non-verbal cues
Provide the client an opportunity to express him/her
feelings
Clarify gray areas
Utilize techniques in questioning or drawing information
from the client
Guide or provide client with direction
Show acceptance of the client
Summarize identified problems
Facilitate identification of plans and solutions (who,
when, how, where)
Draw out internal and external resources of the family
Ending Phase
Summarize the whole session and
highlight action points
Demonstrate gratitude
Evaluate the session
Draw out feeling from the members
Schedule next session
Ending the session (can use ritual)
Post Interview
 Preparation of report
 Evaluation/assessment
 Recommendation
 Coordination with other service providers that

can provide needed resources by the client

 Conferencing with colleagues, case manager

and or other professionals

 Monitoring agreed upon plans
Basic Skills in Counseling:
1) Active Listening/responding skill
– paying acute attention to the client’s verbal disclosure,
non-verbal cues and feelings. Maintaining and communicating
active involvement with the client while listening through non-
verbal communication such as eye-to-eye contact and nodding of
the head. Involvement of the worker is measured not by the
number of words spoken or the issue covered, but by the time s/he
spends actively listening.

2) Paraphrasing
– is restating the client’s message. Making sure that
the client has understood what the worker just said vise versa.
This will encourage the client continue speaking.

Examples: I heard you say that you are concerned about the . . .,
Repeating client’s statement and ask “Is that correct?
3) Clarifying
- is making an educated guess about the client’s
message for the client to confirm or deny. To clear up
confusion if a client’s responses are vague or not
understandable.

Examples: Let me see if I understand you . . . , I do not

think I understand what you are trying to say . . .

4) Asking Appropriate Questions

– To obtain specific information:
facts, feelings and opinion, to encourage the client to
communicate, elaborate on his/her thoughts, knowledge or feelings
and to make the client feel that the worker is interested in what
he/she has to say. Asking the right question at the right time and
right way.
 Open-ended questions
– requires the client to express his/her feelings,
beliefs, knowledge and gives more than a yes or no answer.
(Use question statement starting with what and how)

 Probing questions
- helps the worker clarify the client’s responses
to open-ended questions. Normally, probing questions
follow open-ended questions.

 Closed questions
– have a limited number of responses;
usually yes or no, a number or a few words. Close
questions may discourage discussion or exploration.
5) Identifying and reflecting feelings
– help client identify and clarify their ideas, feelings and
reactions by listening to how the feelings are described.

6) Problem Clarification
– allowing the client to state the problem and, helping the
client clarify and define it. The worker should not make
assumptions on what is problematic to the particular client, nor
should they attempt to solve the problem for him/her.

7) Confronting
– may be an effective response when an issue is being
denied or has not come into the open.
8) Focusing
– help the client focus on the most important issues at
hand and not get sidetracked.

9) Appropriate use of silence

– Silence in counseling session is important at times. It
gives the client an opportunity to reflect, integrate feelings,
think through an idea or absorb new information.

10.) Providing information

– presenting information in a clear, concise and
understandable manner at a point in the session in which it is
appropriate and helpful.

11.) Refreshing statements for accuracy of feelings expressed by

the counselee. Giving honest feedbacks on messages.
 12. NON-CRITICAL ACCEPTANCE- The
tendency to believe generally positive or flattering
descriptions of oneself.
 
 An accepting attitude involves respecting clients
as separate human beings with right to their own
thoughts and feelings. Though an accepting
attitude involves respecting others as separate and
unique human beings, this does not mean that
you agree with everything they say. However,
you respect they say their version of reality.
 
 REFLECTING BACK - Reflecting is showing the
client that you have not only ‘heard’ what is being
said but what feelings and emotions the client is
experiencing when sharing their story with you.
 This is sometimes known in counseling ‘speak’ as

the music behind the words. It is like holding up a

mirror to the client, repeating what they have
said, shows the client they have your full attention
, it also allows the client to make sure you fully
understood them and if not they can correct you.
 SUMMARIZING AND CHECKING - In a
summarization, the counselor combines two or more
of the client's thoughts, feelings or behaviors into a
general theme.
 Summarization is usually used as a skill during

choice points of a counseling interview in which the

counselor wants to draw connections between two or
more topics. Otherwise, when the client appears to
be jumping from one topic to another without any
particular focus or direction, a summarization can
help the client to decide which topic is most
important. Summarization is also used as a way to
close a session.
 CONFRONTATION- Generally
speaking the term confrontation means
challenging another person over a
discrepancy or disagreement. However,
confrontation as a counselling skill is an
attempt by the counsellor to gently
bring about awareness in the client of
something that may they may have
overlooked or avoided.
 
 Challenging is about bringing into focus
discrepancies in the other person’s feelings,
thinking or behaviour that they are tending to
overlook or ignore. Fritz Perls, founder of Gestalt
Therapy, used to say “the neurotic is the person
who is unable to see the obvious”, and where our
own blind spots and distortions differ from the
client’s, we are in a position to feed back to them
discrepancies that we notice from our different
perspective. Challenging discrepancies is best
done sensitively and respectfully.
 Immediacy - is the ability of the counselor/helper
to use the immediate situation to invite the client
to look at what is going on between them in the
relationship. It often feels risky and unfamiliar. It
implies the use of the present tense Being
immediate, being able to respond in the moment,
is an essential part of the skills needed by
counselors, and is valuable in helping to identify
feelings, both in ourselves and in others. It focuses
on using the here and now and on the therapeutic
relationship to explore what the client may be
communicating about his or her world.
Goal Setting
A very powerful tool for all areas of life. Hill (1975)
emphasizes that establishing goals is crucial in
providing direction. Rule (1982) states that goals are the
energizing fabric of daily living but are often elusive

 Avoidance of Judging and Moralistic Responses

The common mistakes of any person who are dealing
with people through counseling is judging and
moralizing. Too often, a counselor have the tendency to
think that he or she knows better and can think many
possible ways to help people with their problematic
situations.
  
 The Ability to Offer Feedback
Feedback is a useful tool for indicating
when things are going in the right direction
or for redirecting problem performance.
Your objective in giving feedback is to
provide guidance by supplying information
in a useful manner, either to support
effective behavior, or to guide someone
back on track toward successful
performance.
 Boundary Awareness
 
 In a profession such as counseling there must be lines drawn
between personal and professional life, just as there must be
lines drawn between oneself and the client. The trick to
maintaining such a delicate boundary without overstepping
the line, or over-compensating for the need to separate one's
personal and professional life, is to set up realistic guidelines
for personal and professional relationships.
 Boundaries denote the limits of acceptability in the

therapeutic relationship. They outline the expectations in the

therapeutic space and mark the point beyond which neither
party is expected to go. Boundaries also allow the counsellor
to get close to the client, developing trust and respect,
without the social costs associated with friendship.
 
 Structuring Technique

Structure is a significant, but often neglected,

component of the therapeutic relationship.
Structure is establishment of a joint understanding
and agreement between the counselor and client
regarding the characteristics, conditions,
procedures, and parameters of counselors. It should
be used to help accomplish counseling goals.
 Working with Defenses

Manners in which we behave or think in certain

ways to better protect or “defend” ourselves,
defenses and resistance are seen as “natural” ways
of avoiding discomfort, anxiety and threat in
practice, using some counseling skills can lower
resistance and build a more cooperative
relationship.
Qualities of a Good Counselor
1) Empathy
– understanding a person with an intent to understand his unique
situation and feeling; sensing accurately the client’s world, seeing the way
the client does and verbally sharing his understanding.

2) Respect and positive regard

– appreciate the client as unique individuals regardless of who they are.

3) Genuineness
– honesty; shedding one’s expected role or image; does not use
disguises or mechanical responses to fool or manipulate client. Is
appropriately spontaneous, non-defensive, open and congruent in thoughts,
feelings and actions.

4) Concreteness
– accurate, clear and specific.
5) Training/intellectual completeness/good communicator
– professionally trained: produce a counselee who will be
autonomous not dependent.

6) Strength to do counseling
– counseling is “emotionally demanding”, saps up the energy,
adds up to your problem so that it is important for the counselor to be
emotionally stable.

7) Supportive of another person

– gives the client the opportunity to talk-encouraging opinions,
describing anxieties and fears without concern for verbal retaliation or
rejection.

8) Sense of humor
– helps client to become relaxed and enjoy the incongruities in his
environment and the foolish aspects of his behavior.
Techniques in Counseling
 Establishing rapport and eye contact

 Having clear objectives

 Conditioning one’s self by coming prepared and not

bringing personal problem to the situation

 Asking questions in an appropriate and time fashion

 Considering the physical (privacy) and the

psychological (readiness) of the client
 Being comfortable with silence

 Using verbal and non-verbal communication as well as

active listening

 Giving the person affirmation

 Imposing emotional distance when needed

 Considering the frequency, duration and intensity of

the problem before making an assessment

 Always end the session by indicating a desire to see the

client again at a time convenient for him/her
Thank you!