COMMUNICATION
TRAINING
Different Communication Styles
• Flat or Passive
• Carbonated or Assertive
• Over Carbonated or Aggressive
Elements of Passive Style
Mottoes and Beliefs
"Don't express your true feelings."
"Don't make waves."
"Don't disagree."
"Others have more rights than I do.“
Communication Style
Indirect
Always agrees
Doesn't speak up
Hesitant
Characteristics
Apologetic, self-conscious
Trusts others, but not self
Doesn't express own wants and feelings
Allows others to make decisions for self
Doesn't get what he or she wants
Elements of Passive Style
Behaviors
Sighs a lot
Tries to sit on both sides of the fence to avoid conflict
Asks permission unnecessarily
Complains instead of taking action, Lets others make choices
Has difficulty implementing plans
Nonverbal Cues
Nods head often; comes across as pleading
Lack of facial animation
Smiles and nods in agreement
Slumped posture , Low volume, meek
Fast, when anxious; slow, hesitant, when doubtful
Verbal Cues
"You should do it."
"You have more experience than I do."
"This is probably wrong, but..."
"I'll try..."
Elements of Passive Style
Confrontation and Problem Solving
Avoids, ignores, leaves, postpones
Withdraws, is sullen and silent
Agrees externally, while disagreeing internally
Expends energy to avoid conflicts that are anxiety provoking
Spends too much time asking for advice, supervision
Agrees too often
Feelings Felt
Powerlessness
Wonders why doesn't receive credit for good work
Chalks lack of recognition to others' inabilities
Effects
Gives up being him or herself
Doesn't know where he or she stands
Slowly loses self esteem
Promotes others' causes
Elements of Carbonated or
Assertive Style
Mottoes and Beliefs
Believes self and others are valuable
Knowing that assertiveness doesn't mean you always win, but that you
handled the situation as effectively as possible
"I have rights and so do others.“
Communication Style
Effective, active listener, States limits, expectations
States observations, no labels or judgments
Expresses self directly, honestly, & as soon as possible about feelings
& wants
Checks on others feelings
Non-judgmental
Observes behavior rather than labeling it, Trusts self and others
Confident , Self-aware
Open, flexible, versatile
Playful, sense of humor, Decisive, Proactive, initiating
Elements of Carbonated or
Assertive Style
Behavior
Operates from choice
Knows what it is needed and develops a plan to get it, Action-
oriented
Firm, Realistic in her expectations
Fair, just, Consistent
Takes appropriate action toward getting what she wants without
denying rights of others
Nonverbal Cues
Open, natural gestures
Attentive, interested facial expression
Direct eye contact, Confident or relaxed posture
Vocal volume appropriate, expressive, Varied rate of speech
Verbal Cues
"I choose to..."
"What are my options?"
Elements of Carbonated or
Assertive Style
Confrontation and Problem Solving
Negotiates, bargains, trades off, compromises
Confronts problems at the time they happen
Doesn't let negative feelings build up
Feelings Felt
Enthusiasm
Well being
Even tempered
Effects
Increased self-esteem and self-confidence
Increased self-esteem of others
Feels motivated and understood
Others know where they stand
Elements of Over Carbonated or
Aggressive Style
Mottos and Beliefs
"Everyone should be like me."
"I am never wrong."
"I've got rights, but you don't."
Communication Style
Close minded
Poor listener
Has difficulty seeing the other person's point of view
Interrupts
Monopolizing
Characteristics
Achieves goals, often at others' expense
Domineering, bullying
Patronizing
Condescending, sarcastic
Elements of Over Carbonated or
Aggressive Style
Behavior
Puts others down
Doesn't ever think they are wrong
Bossy, Moves into people's space, overpowers
Jumps on others, pushes people around, Know-it-all attitude
Doesn't show appreciation
Nonverbal Cues
Points, shakes finger, Frowns
Squints eyes critically
Glares, Stares, Rigid posture
Critical, loud, yelling tone of voice
Fast, clipped speech
Verbal Cues
"You must (should, ought better)."
"Don't ask why. Just do it."
Verbal abuse
Elements of Over Carbonated or
Aggressive Style
Confrontation and Problem Solving
Must win arguments, threatens, attacks
Operates from win/lose position
Feelings Felt
Anger
Hostility
Frustration
Impatience
Effects
Provokes counter aggression, alienation from others, ill health
Wastes time and energy over supervising others
Pays high price in human relationships
Fosters resistance, defiance, sabotaging, striking back, forming
alliances, lying, covering up
Forces compliance with resentment
Communication Style
The components of Style are:
• Preparedness
• Confidence
• Humility
• Sincerity
• Articulateness
• Grammatically Correctness
• Spontaneity
Preparedness
• Knows the company’s business, mission,
culture, and values
• Thinks of possible questions ahead of time
Confidence
• Sure of what one is saying
• Confident even if one does not have an
answer to a question
Humility
• Able to accept compliments well
• Able to turn a compliment for the for the
client
Sincerity
• You have to mean what you really say
• You have to believe in what you stand for
ARTICULATENESS
• Expresses oneself clearly and distinctly
• Does not sound like reading from a script
or had memorized a line
• Avoids fillers like “ahs” and “uhms”
GRAMMATICAL CORRECTNESS
• Observes basic rules of grammar
• Avoids slang as much as possible
• Uses appropriate words and idiomatic
expressions (avoid Filipinoisms)
• Uses standard American English
SPONTANEITY
• Uses conversational and informal tone
• Avoids excessive use of formal addresses
like “ma’am” or “sir”
APPLICATION OF THE
COMMUNICATION STYLES
Clearly, the assertive style is the one to strive for. Keep in
mind that very few people are all one or another style. In
fact, the aggressive style is essential at certain times such
as:
• when a decision has to be made quickly
• during emergencies
• when you know you're right and that fact is crucial
APPLICATION OF THE
COMMUNICATION STYLES
Passiveness also has its critical applications:
• when an issue is minor;
• when the problems caused by the conflict are greater
than the conflict itself;
• when emotions are running high and it makes sense to
take a break in order to calm down and regain
perspective;
• when your power is much lower than the other party's;
• when the other's position is impossible to change for all
practical purposes (i.e., government policies, etc.).
