Congruence:

The quality or state of agreeing or corresponding

•Physiology
• Left/right body
• Left/right brain
•Nonverbal and Verbal Messages
 Strategies
• The Structure of Subjective Experience: that is the quality
of conscious experience by which we have the sensation
or mental impression that events are happening to us as
experiencing "selves." That is to say, when we experience
something in consciousness, we have the feeling that there
is a self "inside" us that is having the experience
• Learned Behavior
• TOTE (Test, Operate, Test, Exit)
• Habits
• Skills
 Common Strategies

• Spelling
• Auditory (spell “phonics” phonetically)
• Visual
• Making Decisions
• Communicating
• Listening and speaking
• Writing
 Decision-making Strategies

• Purchasing
• An inexpensive product
• Dinner in a nice restaurant
• An expensive product or service
• Relationships
• Career Choices
 Communication Strategy, 1 & 2

• Pace
• Match (nonverbally and verbally)
• Meet expectations
• Lead
• Set direction
• Maintain interest
• Maintain rapport
 Communication Strategy, 3 & 4

• Blend Outcomes
• Understand objectives and desires
• Create win-win solutions
• Motivate
• Clarify who does what next
• Future-pace possibilities
• Presuppose positive results
 Eliciting Strategies
Summary of Steps for Eliciting a Strategy.
When you elicit a strategy, you discover a
sequence of thoughts and behavior, as well as
values, beliefs and meta-programs.
 Exercise: Eliciting Strategies
• Ordering a Meal in a Restaurant
• Learning Something New
• Teaching Something for the First Time
 What is eliciting in teaching?

• Synonyms: searching, drawing out,

discovering, realizing, understanding.
Eliciting is a technique used by the teacher
during the lesson that involves the language
learner in the process of discovering and
understanding language. Anything in the
lesson can be elicited: vocabulary,
grammar, experiences, and ideas.
 Personal Profiles

• Achiever
• Communicator
• Specialist
• Perfectionist A C

P S
 Profile Characteristics
• Achiever
• Likes to set goals, challenge the environment and win.
• Sees life as a competition.
• Communicator
• Likes to achieve results by working with and through people.
• Finds more enjoyment in the process than in the results.
• Specialist
• Likes to plan work and relationships.
• Finds enjoyment in knowing what to expect.
• Perfectionist
• Enjoys jobs requiring attention to detail.
• Complies with authority and tries to provide the “right” answer.
 Metaprograms

• Action — Initiate or Respond

• Direction — Toward or Away From
• Source — Internal or External
• Conduct — Rule Follower or Breaker
 More Metaprograms

• Response — Match or Mismatch

• Scope — Global or Specific
• Cognitive Style — Thinking or Feeling
• Confirmation — VAK and Times
 Exercise: Eliciting Metaprograms

• Metaprograms are revealed by

• Nonverbal messages
• Language
• Question s
• What do you mean?
• How do you know?
• What’s important to you about that?
 Changing Behavior

• Patterns and Pattern Interrupts

• Anchors and Anchoring
• Stimulus-response conditioning
• Visual, auditory, and kinesthetic anchors
• Advanced Language Patterns
• The Meta Model
• The Milton Model
 Patterns and Pattern Interrupts

• A Pattern interrupt is a technique to change

a particular thought, behavior or situation.
Behavioral psychology and neuro linguistic
programming use this technique to interrupt
and change thought patterns and behavior
Anchors and Anchoring
 Meta model
• Thus metamodeling or meta-modeling is
the analysis, construction and development
of the frames, rules, constraints, models and
theories applicable and useful for modeling
a predefined class of problems.
 The Metamodel
• Used to Understand Another’s Mental Maps
• Used to Recover Lost Information
• Used to Help Correct Distortions
• Universal Metamodel Questions
• What, who, or how specifically?
• What do you mean?
• How do you know?
• What would happen if you did (or didn’t)?
 Metamodel “Violations”

• Unspecified Nouns
• Abstract nouns (a student, teachers)
• Nominalizations (freedom, justice)
• Unspecified or Missing Pronouns
• Someone you know. . . .
• It’s wrong to think that.
 Metamodel “Violations”

• Unspecified Verbs
• You have to learn this.
• You will solve your problems.
• Unwarranted Generalizations
• You never want to do anything.
• Politicians are crooks.
 Metamodel “Violations”

• Unwarranted Comparisons
• Brand X gives you more.
• Sally is the best.
• Unwarranted Rules
• You can’t do that on television.
• Clean your plate.
• No pain, no gain.
 Milton Model
An approach opposite to the Meta Model, yet
an equally useful tool for personal change and
human communication. "The Milton Model
is a way of using language to induce and
maintain trance in order to contact hidden
resources of our personality.
 The Milton Model

• Used to Change Another’s Mental Maps

• Used to Create New Possibilities
• Used to Influence
 Milton Model Techniques
• Metamodel “Violations”
• Unspecified nouns, pronouns, and verbs.
• Generalizations
• Comparisons
• Shifts in referential index
 More Milton Model Techniques
• Presuppositions
• Embedded Questions
• Embedded Commands
• Negative Commands
• Metaphors
• Quotes
• Ambiguities
 Exercise: Anchoring
• Setting Anchors
• Kinesthetic
• Visual
• Auditory
• Stacking Anchors
• Collapsing Anchors
• Using Sliding Anchors
 Structure of Subjective Experience

• Sorting for Time

• Past, present, and future
• Timelines
• Sorting for Like and Dislike
• Creating and Changing Meaning
 Modalities and Submodalities
• Visual Submodalities
• Location, size, distance, brightness, point of view
• Color or black & white, moving or still
• Auditory Submodalities
• Location, tone, rate, pitch, inflection, rhythm
• Language, voice (your voice, the voice of a parent)
• Kinesthetic Submodalities
• Location, strength, duration, movement
• Quality (warm, cold, “tingly,” etc.)
 Exercise: Changing Submodalities
• Select something, someone, or an activity
you want to like better.
• Elicit submodalities for
• Things you like.
• Things you dislike.
• Change the submodalities with which you
represent the thing, person, or activity.
 Belief Systems

• Cultural • Global (Identity)

• Parental • Cause-effect
• Group • If X, then Y
• If I study, then I will...
• Individual
• Rules
• Can/can’t
• Must/must not
• Should/should not
 Values

• A Type of Belief
• Hierarchical
• Either Positive or Negative
• Something desired
• Something to avoid
• Congruent or Incongruent
 Core Questions

• Remain Out of Conscious Awareness

• Focus Attention
• Influence Interpretation of Events
• Influence Psychological State
• Influence the Range of Possibilities
 Assignment: Belief and Disbelief
• Elicit the sub-modalities of something you
believe absolutely.
• Elicit the sub-modalities of something you
doubt.
• Elicit the sub-modalities of something you
disbelieve.
• Select a limiting belief and change its sub-
modalities.
 Frames and Reframes
• Filters That Determine Meaning
• Influence State and Behavior
• Creating and Changing Frames
• Anchoring
• Reframing Context
• Reframing Content
 Reframing Context
• Key Questions
• Where would the characteristic or behavior be useful?
• When would the characteristic or behavior be useful?
• What would have to be true for this to be useful?
• Common Context Reframes
• Rudolph’s Red Nose
• Procrastination(the action of delaying or postponing
something)
Rudolph’s Red Nose
How to stop Procrastination
7 Steps Procrastination
 Reframing Content
• Key Questions
• What else could this mean (or be)?
• What am I missing here?
• How can he or she believe that?
• How could this mean the opposite of what I thought?
• Common Content Reframes
• The ugly duckling
• Plastic or sawdust
• Failure
The ugly duckling
Plastic or sawdust
 Basic Language Skills
• My automobile prefers to warm up slowly.
• The organization is in excellent shape. For
example, the record profits last year.
• The company has decided to purchase new
furniture.
• While busy working at the computer all day
was no doubt the cause of her eye strain and
stiff neck.
 More Basic Language Skills
• Not only will Alex need to justify his
behavior to his boss, but also to the
company president.
• The data is from “Service Is the Key”, by
Eileen Johnson in the May issue of The
Journal of Customer Relations.
 Language Skills for Case 1
• As an employee of Con-U-Tel, it is my
responsibility to set up our companies
annual convention.
• I am writing this letter to inquire about your
hotel’s accommodations.
• How many people can your hotel
accommodate at one time?
More Language Skills for Case 1
• Does your hotel have banquet facilities?
• How many conference rooms does your
hotel have with audio/visual equipment?
• I must have your answer by July 10th so
that I can make a decision.
• Thank you in advance for sending this and
other helpful information.
 Block Format and Mixed Punctuation

• Date goes on left margin

• 5 January 2004
• January 5, 2004
• NOT: 1/5/2004 or 5.1.2004
• Inside address includes the following:
• Name of the individual with courtesy title
• Professional title and/or office or department
• Organization plus “mail stop” information
• City, state, and ZIP code information
 Block Format and Mixed Punctuation
• Salutation
• Dear Ms. Goldman:
• Dear Director:
• Ladies and Gentlemen:
• The signature block includes the following:
• An appropriate complimentary close (Sincerely,
Cordially, Best Wishes)
• The signature of the person who wrote the letter
• The typed/printed name of the writer
 Message Structure for Case 1
• Ask the most important question.
• What is the make-or-break question?
• Why are convention facilities more important than guest rooms?
• Why is it important to include the dates in the opening question?
• Explain your needs.
• What does she need to know to help you?
• What does she not need to know?
• What is required for transition to the list of secondary questions?
 More Structure for Case 1
• Ask your secondary questions.
• What is implied by the numbered list?
• How do you ensure that the information you receive
will help you make a decision?
• Set and justify an end-date.
• Is it possible that she can help you in ways you haven’t
asked about?
• Why do you need a time index to justify a specific end-
date?