Tear Me Up by RCBrock This is where I live. I mean... I LIVE in Florida. But this, this is where I am every second of my life. There will be a point in your life when you look back. You will look back at all that you have been, and all that you might be. You will see those who you have surpassed and those that have gone beyond yourself. You will look upon yourself and no matter what nor who you are, you find yourself wanting. It is then that you will fall... how hard is the only real question. I fell sometime last year, maybe even earlier but I cant be sure. I have looked past the smoke and mirrors and seen myself for what I am. What the world and our society has made me become. Everyday i get up, go about my routine. I remember the dreams I had as a child, that I know will never come true. I think about the promises of the adults who told me how the world works, that have turned to ash at my feet. Worse of all... I see those around me. Those who have somehow through the muck and bile that chokes me every waking moment. Those that have achieved the smallest illusion of happiness. Who walk hand in hand with someone who delude themselves of the constant and ever present hollowness within ourselves. But at least they do it together. At least, they are not... alone. I see the things that exist around me that might promise that which I might devout myself too. The things that could perhaps save me, if I where not the coward that I am and unable to reach out for them. I convince myself its for the best, that I am saving them. Saving them from the world that incircles me. That if another would get to close. They would drown in another's sorrows. What type of man would wish that fate on another. One who they profess to care for? No, no This is where I live. This is where I'll stay. It is but for a single and finale truth I realized so many years ago, Some of us, just don't get to be happy. And we never will.
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