What Kind of Romantic Partner Am I?

Find your romance archetype and what it means!

When it comes to love, everyone's different! That said, partners tend to come in a few different genres and archetypes, and what archetype you are can influence how you love. Are you a devoted cheerleader? A curious explorer? A responsible director? Or a balanced builder?

Answer a few simple questions, and we'll tell you what kind of partner you are in your relationships!

An illustration of two hands passing a heart-shaped key.

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Questions Overview

1. Which kind of relationship sounds most appealing to you?
  1. A slow, steady, and easygoing relationship.
  2. A fast, exciting, and ever-changing relationship.
  3. A balanced relationship that's both dependable and exciting.
2. Do you think you'd ever want to get married?
  1. Yes, absolutely! (Or, I already am!)
  2. Eh. I'd have to find the exact right person.
  3. Not really. It's just not for me.
3. Are you the type to say "I love you" first?
  1. Absolutely. If I feel something, I say something!
  2. Maybe, but I need to be very sure.
  3. Not really. I'd rather they broke the ice on that.
4. What do you think is the most amount of time you could spend away from your partner?
  1. I'd want to see them every day!
  2. I could go a few days without seeing them.
  3. I could go a week or two.
  4. Honestly? I'd be cool for like a month. Maybe more.
5. What's your ideal financial situation in a relationship?
  1. I make the money, they kick back and relax.
  2. They make the money, we both spend it.
  3. We both make money and pool our finances.
  4. We both make money but keep it separate.
6. Do you have any of these general relationship anxieties? (Select all that apply, no judgement!)
  1. I'm worried I'll get bored or restless.
  2. I'm worried about it being one-sided.
  3. I'm worried I won't be enough.
  4. I'm worried about losing my independence.
  5. I'm worried we'll grow apart or start to want different things.
  6. I don't have any of these anxieties.
7. Are you the driver, or do you ride shotgun?
  1. Driver
  2. Shotgun / passenger
8. Which trait do you least want in a partner?
  1. Being too clingy
  2. Being unable to commit
  3. Being boring or too low-key
  4. Being too bossy
9. Get up early or sleep in? (It matters in a relationship!)
  1. Up early
  2. Sleep in
10. Choose a way to send a cute message to your partner:
  1. Shoot them a quick, thoughtful text to say I'm thinking about them.
  2. Leave them a voicemail telling them about something that reminded me of them.
  3. Leave a handwritten love letter on their pillow to read when they wake up.
  4. Show up at their work in person to give them a beverage and tell them I love them.

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Being a Better Partner

No matter what kind of partner you are, love is something you build, nurture, and grow alongside another person. It takes two to tango, after all, and that means working with another mind to blend two individuals into a single team. That's why we talked to relationship experts to show you how to be the best partner you can be:

  • Dating and relationship coach Mark Rosenfeld says that in relationships, you get what you give: "One of the real rewarding things about relationships is that it's an opportunity to feel accepted, especially for parts of yourself that may not have been accepted before... If [your partner] gets that feedback, [they] will start to learn that [they] can actually express this."[1]
  • Love and empowerment coach Jennifer Butler, MSW, says that being a good partner starts with being the best version of yourself: "We spend so much time concerned about being the right partner for somebody that we don't actually spend the time becoming the right partner... the first step is really becoming the person that you want to be. Loving yourself so fiercely, knowing yourself and being an amazing partner for yourself."[2]
  • Dating and relationship coach David Chambers agrees, and says that one of the best things you can bring to love is "being emotionally available. That's not just expressing your own emotions, but being available to be with their emotions and sit in a space with their emotions and being curious about that."[3]
  • Relationship coach Zachary Pontrello says to keep your partner in your thoughts and express affection often: "Think about something that your partner has done for you recently... something that you genuinely appreciate about them. And then step two is to send them a message, letting them know that you really appreciate them doing that, and that they're special, and that you see them as being a very special part of your life."[4]
  • Licensed professional counselor Tara Vossenkemper, PhD, LPC, says that a shared vision for the future can help bind two people together, and recommends "having shared meaning in your relationship. So, discussing the shared meaning, creating a life together rather than creating independent lives and hoping they intersect. It's being intentional about [the question of] 'What is this life that we are creating together?'"[5]

Want to learn more?

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References

  1. ↑ Mark Rosenfeld. Dating & Relationship Coach. Expert Interview
  2. ↑ Jennifer Butler, MSW. Love & Empowerment Coach. Expert Interview
  3. ↑ David Chambers. Dating and Relationship Coach. Expert Interview
  4. ↑ Zach Pontrello. Relationship Coach. Expert Interview
  5. ↑ Tara Vossenkemper, PhD, LPC. Licensed Professional Counselor. Expert Interview

Reader Success Stories

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    Anonymous

    Jul 30

    "I would highly request this somewhat accurate quiz."
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