Elves

by Acid Witch

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about

Based on the 1989 film ELVES

lyrics

Accidental spell from Grandpa's book
The one he warned me "Do not look!"
When blood is spilled from broken glass
Evoke tiny evils from forgotten pasts

Sneaking home now, Grandad's pissed
And that mean old man likes to slap and hit
and mom drowned my cat in the fucking toilet
while my pervert brother says I've got big tits...

CH)
And he's going to tell..
Just swell, he might as well...
My week's been going to hell...
Cause of these fucking... ELVES

Like I said, my family fucking sucks
So I got a job at the mall to make some bucks
Most of the girls here have loose morals
And the mall Santa does coke and asks for oral

But that lecher in red, was soon found dead
Cheerful pool of red, congealed 'round his head
Now they need a new Santa for the meet and greets
So they hire a homeless guy right off the streets

Mall's locked up tight, we sneak in to play
Street Santa already broke in for a place to stay
Along with some horny guys, tryin' to get laid
as well as some evil occult Nazi's

CH)
And they're looking for me...
Blood of a virgin they need...
Cause when there's no more room in hell
On Earth, will walk the...ELVES

Just when you think it can't get more absurd
Here comes these German bonehead turds
To shoot it out among the Christmas toys
with the Elves, teen girls, Santa and horny boys

Department stores trashed, it's a fucking bloodbath
All my friends got the candy cane shaft
So me and cigarette Santa are on the run
To try and figure out what the fuck's going on

So my bitch of a mother reveals her secret
That I'm a product of deep dark, nazi incest
To raise demonic elves up from Hell
She had to fuck her Dad herself!

CH)
I'm next in line for sacrifice...
Christmas eve just ain't my night...
I kind of wish I don't live to tell
about these fucking...ELVES

These stupid fucking ELVES!

credits

released December 21, 2024
Written by Acid Witch
Produced by Slasher Dave
Lyrics by Shagrat
Drums recorded/Mixed by Paul Smith
Art by Shagrat

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tags

about

Acid Witch Detroit, Michigan

Devil's Night Doom from the dank and depressing depths of Detroit...

Acid Witch Is...
Slasher Dave
Shaggy Shagrat
Magic Mike Tuff
Phil Warren Comics

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