"THOSE WHO KNOW ME BETTER, KNOW BETTER" Marilyn Monroe. COME DIE WITH ME

I put on a play, because we all like to play don't we? Really anybody who did not pay for a ticket, and still had fish and chips and beer round the corner, do not need to come again, if they did not like it.  Names will appear on my black list as I speak.  I don't want them to come to my next mammoth production, I shall torture them in rehearsal instead.
Why would I write a story about somebody who is self satisfied, oblivious to the world outside?.   Why think I live in some Walt Disney womb somewhere, nobody wants these stories?.
At least I reveal myself,  and my real life is not all butterflies and chintz.  Dispel the myth that I, or that anyone, has everything in life, because it is superficial and transient.  People  mistakenly believe that fame and money can give them a god given miracle. I know it can't.
After all I cannot reveal that I am a gay politician, or shave my head like Britney Spears, I did not want to eat cockroaches in the jungle. I did not want to do "Come dine with me" and eat other people's ghastly food.  So I thought I would ask for no favours, or cost anybody any money, or walk on other peoples bodies to look interesting.  I thought I would put my money where my mouth is and tell the truth in all its gory details.  It is indeed approximately who I was ten years ago, although I am naturally harder than my brilliant actress, and more self deprecating. Justine has put into my play a sensitivity at the end that sadly I never felt. It is a play that most women that I have spoken to, find something to interest them.
This man Matt could have come in and  have farted and it would be a breath of fresh air.  I admire Matt Trueman's wit, if only he acted, instead of writing about other people's performances, this speaks volumes about his own stage career. Oxford followed by Central, We are not so different. We are on the same rung of the ladder, but I can't decide which direction he is going in.
So in answer to my critics and to quote Marilyn Monroe, "Those that know me better, know better

BRING GRANNY BACK

Since we are all suffering in one way or another, the excesses of yesterday it would be great if we could be greener, more economical, less wasteful.. I am seriously going to try to like green in every way, green skin, green vegetables, green, but can we also do something about the lolling scruffy unattractive unshaven youths with hoodies of today. I can’t stand it anymore. With so many people thinking they like clothes and with people like Trinny Woodall doing their best to help them, wouldn’t it be perfect if the yobboes of today became a little less scruffy. Oxford Street is pulsating with sweaty overweight badly dressed and spoken individuals, overladen with huge amounts of plastic bags, and wearing shorts, hoodies, gym shoes looking thoroughly disgusting, and yet, they pretend to be followers of fashion. Marks and Spencers, Primark, Top Shop, Arrogant Cat, Selfridges, Hennes, Whistles, Jigsaw etc, have employed designers, like Karl Largerfeld, Stella McCartney, Kenzo, with good ideas and shapes to design for us, seriously chic and also useful clothes, from size 0 to size 28, and all reasonably priced. With Heat, Grazia, and the Sunday Magazines giving brilliant style tips, and most celebs looking pretty stunning, why is it that the average Britain manages to make themselves so unattractive. We live in one of the most interesting countries in the world, and despite all the financial problems we are prosperous, and reasonably educated. So, why do we have to look as if we are a nation of once a week washers, chewing gum and spitting..I think the problem is we have locked and drugged the Grannies up in homes, when they used to scream like matriachs at everybody keeping them ship shape. My grand-mother taught me everything, from cooking, to sewing, to playing the piano, and I remember vividly as a child sitting on my grand fathers knee and him saying “It’s no use just being pretty, you had better be interesting”. For instance my grandmother and aunt would lecture me on changing for dinner, brushing my hair, washing endlessly. ”Look pretty for your husband when he comes home” They would lecture me on my use of language, don’t swear, steal, be tidy, work, don’t sulk.. Yes the problem lies with this we don’t want to look after our old people. I say close the homes and bring the Grannies back.