I decided this year to try everything that I thought previously was not going to be fun. It is incredible how we put limitations on ourselves with nonsensical ideas of what we do and don't like.  I want to remain young in spirit keeping an open mind. With this thought, I decided to go on a cruise, try forex markets, accounting and eating correctly.  So far I am having the time of my life, having met new people with new experiences. So I shall write about those. First the packing for the cruise.

Don't we need fun in these turbulent times?.

Clothes always keep me happy as well as Yoga.

I am going on a cruise with Seabourn.Com and wanted the perfect clothes and found them with

the following designers.

Alessandro Michele for Gucci ticks all the boxes and makes fashion  young and vibrant again.

I have bought the platform cream and dark blue striped shoes, a suit with pearls and several pairs of sunglasses.

The touch of madness and brilliant cut keeps me happy in my  wardrobe that is mostly black. The hairbands are a must

for wind and make me feel like the glamorous Norma Desmond from Sunset Boulevard.

Alessandro also helps those that have suffered from human trafficking one of my favourite charities.

His shows never let us down and last week I saw women from 20-70 and all nationalities take joy from trying

on his individual style. 

 Rei Kawakubo from Comme des Garçons is the most intellectual of designers and probably the one that is the most flamboyant yet architectural.

The name "Like Boys" suits the brand. I love the quirky style, which is often more creative than the contemporary art world. When you are over 45 it is good to feel up to date at the swimming pool.

The fabulous shapes suit me. Last week I bought  a black coat with half of it missing on one side. It has a madness that catches the eye and a feminist feel to it. I love the fashion show of bold large designs.  The twist of humour keeps fashion alive for me.

Julia Haart us the creative director at La Perla, I wear her clothes as well as her underwear.

I simply adore them. They fit and feel wonderful on my body. It is a miracle when everything looks good from the front and back.

I bought a wonderful corset suit, a pair of sequin shorts which made me look as if I was still twenty.

The classical shapes have a twist that gives me glamour.

Remember when packing to always use tissue paper. A tip from my Grandmother was always pack with it. I have done this all my life and now my clothes look brand new when some are twenty years old. I generally buy plastic and put the clothes on thin velvet hangers. 

In the plastic I put tissue paper. It works well.

Try and stay the same weight all your life, do not yoyo diet it wrecks your face. I lose weight with the 

mayr diet which is incredible. I do it four times a year for each season.

Have a good Easter.

Off course I am a Dominatrix darling.

I used to go on holiday to the glamorous Hotel du Cap, later I went to Maison du Cap my house in Ramatuelle every Summer, now my life is about easy access, a remedial bathroom, with rails and enough towels to wash an elephant at one of the beautiful serene Viva Mayr Altausee.  Everything here is the correct height and no more bending and kneeling. If my doctor had his way,  my maribou bedroom heels would be now replaced with white toweling flip flops. That is for everybody else but me of course, I turn up in my black lingerie. I am sorry I am not going to look remedial and downtrodden.  I was told to go for a walk today and take off my black thick tights and walk on pebbles with my eyes closed, then walk through freezing cold water, letting sunlight to my legs is a rarity, but I need the Vitamin D, it stops depression.
I seem to have the ability to  silence the patrons as I walk past in La Perla underwear outerwear.  Some say I was once on the cover of Playboy Magazine, others that I am a socialite, neither are true, but infamy rules . The reality is that this week I am trying to get Nancy Reagan thin, who incidentally wore cable knit pullovers to augment the arms to a normal size.  I want the black shadows under my eyes as I get emaciated.  Having felt starved for the last three days there are luckily good hotels in the vicinity who allow me to have the odd espresso to keep me going.
Really what I want to learn next is twerking but I would also need a giant bottom to be any good. It's the new must-have in California and judging by the Kardashian's curves, it gives you guaranteed success. You can purchase one also in London at the fabulous office of my old friend, Dr. Sebagh, where you can have your rump delicately pumped up with gel, plus you can get anything else you like improved too. He is a magician with the needle. However, have they thought what  the skin will look like, Bad enough when your lips looked like pork sausages, but a huge bottom and skinny legs. Imagine what it will look like at sixty.
 It seems we humans all want to be controlled by Aliens with Pokemon games and look like them, too. Aldous Huxley said that we would enjoy being taken over? Well, it looks like it is happening?

I have been told by a friend today that the only thing I lacked to be a  Dominatrix is the kinky, wet look thigh length,  boots with a channel down the sides for a riding crop made for kicking and hitting. I am informed that I have a Ph.D. in Manipulation. Charming.  The heels must be so high that they come with a health warning saying that I could get vertigo. With the thought of this, the room goes round and round and I need anti-nausea medicine. I need virtual reality goggles nowadays so that everything looks a bit more natural and normal.

Now I must get back to "InfoWars" and see when The End of the world is coming so I can get prepared, and watch the next episode of the Clinton/Trump saga, which is proving more entertaining than anything else. With Hillary's assistant being part of the Muslim Brotherhood, her emails, The Clinton Foundation scandal on top of Hillary croaking from Parkinsons, the supposed murders around them and Donald Trump the only person turning up to help those in Louisiana, what his hairdo will be like today, and his tax returns. The race continues but not through mainstream media as they always seem to get it wrong nowadays and are so only into Hillary that makes me raise my eyebrows as to balanced press/media. After all, Hillary has enough evidence against her, to supposedly land her in jail, only the Clinton's seem above the law?. Therefore, there is nobody better to listen to than Alex Jones, who enjoys terrifying the chocolate eater Clinton on an hourly basis, as the Grandma avoids being interviewed at all costs.  Before you all cry that I am a right-wing fanatic hold your horses, I am not, but I am a seeker of truth and the big "C's" look dead dodgy to me.  Today as I was chatting at the clinic telling my doctor all the latest election gossip he said to me "Which channel was I listening too" I said "The one that amuses me the most"

MY FIFTY SHADES OF COLOUR, FORGET GREY

I love lace and I love silk against my body. Often a boyfriend accuses me of wearing my underwear on the outside, I love this. I hate showing flesh unless it was possible to remain 24 forever. Time gallops at a pace, but I still feel 24, and although my sons treat me like "the old gal indoors" I am more sprightly now than when I was young. Clothes that I like to wear to excite and amuse me are the following. The idea of Fifty Shades of Grey will raise your pulse rate, but watching it may not. Films on sex are not for me, I prefer to use my own imagination  and the book sound a little kitsch. However it should entice you into buying sexier kit and these are some of my favourites.

Beds and bedrooms, kitchen, drawing rooms, cupboards should have space for excitement and amusement, hidden away from the rest of the world.

CHANTAL THOMASS BED

COCO DE MER

LA PERLA

STAND AND DELIVER

I wanted to walk down Sloane Street this morning and couldn't get into any of the shops.. I was about to get furious pounding on Chloe's doors, when I realized it was the fifth shop I had gone into, and all of them had armed guards. I almost wanted to ask, am I on the guest list?, there are night clubs with less security, and palaces too. Eventually I got in and asked what is the problem. The shop girls said there were armed forces searching the street for jewels and clothes, big gangs of men, who go from shop to shop smashing the windows as they go. Now this is terrifying because of violence, they said that Winter was worse. I went along the street wishing I had taken their doorman with me. Everybody looked part of a gang, should I risk walking to Prada, or La Perla or is it just too dangerous?. It was like those nightmares when you hear somebody in your room and you can't make a sound, struggling for your life and you can't move. Last week Cartier had their windows smashed in. Paule Ka shop girls looked terrified when I entered with my handbag. I would not want to work down this street. It is a shame that you need bravery to put a dummy in the window. I now walk in the middle of the road, and dread walking into Dick Turpin saying stand and deliver. It's highway robbery and you can't even get 10 percent off. If you want this seasons handbag, it seems that you have to steal it rather than buy it. Hell I don't want to wear that mask over my eyes.