WHEN THE SHIT HITS THE FAN, SMILE ON LOVE STREET

With a full moon the world tends to go upside down, so with that in mind I got out my recipe for a sage spring clean. It was not the easiest of days, but all days cannot be as beautiful, or I would find it tricky to appreciate the truly truly beautiful. Slitting my wrists is not an option so I have to be brave if old dirt is picked up by  lazy  press yet again.  Luckily Zoe Moon warned us this week that there could be upheaval.
Why journalists, choose to make me interesting attached to someone else is unbelievable when the stories are ten years old. They of course cannot write that someone is actually happy, on the front cover of two magazine in Hollywood,  having won several film festivals. Of course their writing is just a reflection of their lives, not anybody else's. Truth is I am well, touch wood, clean and serene, as per usual. I could send a press release, but why bother?

I am very happy and people just cannot stand merry sunshine. I think when they see someone smiling, they feel it is time to remove it.
My film is doing well, I love where I live, and have new art projects on the go. The comments are written by people who get off on being especially unkind are not for me. I wish the journalists well and my family too.  That is who the press truly hurt, not me.
So what are the ten things you should do when feeling fragile.

1. Turn off your telephone, it is essential.
2. Take a Kundalini Yoga class with Normandie Keith and chant at Golden Bridge..
3. Go to the wonderful Canyon Grocery shop where  Mama Cass lived in the basement and Jim Morrison lived in Love Street, next door. The place is steeped in mystery and I want to know more. I am taken downstairs to check the street exit. This is a place to visit when you arrive in Los Angeles and want to do something truly authentic, and listen "She lives in Love Street".

4. Go to the church on Fairfax where Elizabeth Taylor married and pray.
5.  Discover the best art  in Los Angeles.
6.  Plan a week end at the Coachella Festival.
7.  Become friends with the ever smiling Derek Blasberg, and if needs be learn some manners from his Cat Video..
8.. Dare to go an knock on Werner Herzhog's door and beg for wisdom for the jungle.
9. If you really need a relook demand a shoot with Mert and Marcus.
10. Get a Samsung notebook 3 and start your instagram life in style.

IN THE NICEST POSSIBLE WAY PLEASE COVER UP YOUR GRACE, AT ALL TIMES

I can imagine the conversation when Her Majesty goes to bed at night, while she cleanses, tones and moisturises. Talking to her corgies, under her breath so her maid doesn't hear "Darlings Holly and Willow. What was Kate thinking of when she went in the garden in the nude, I must have a word with with young William, surely she knows the press are always ghastly and photograph given the opportunity, this is the problem when you marry social climbers?" 
The truth is that all my very grand friends and not so grand friends stay very covered, and for instance my Aunt would be appalled. Maybe she would cut me off for at least a year if she heard I went nude on holiday. She is definitely appalled by facebook which she thinks is terribly common. Of course I ignore her and love it to probably my detriment.

I  ACTUALLY LIKE TO COVERED UP AT ALL TIMES. I LISTENED TO KARL LAGERGELD WHO ONCE SAID TO ME, "SKIN AFTER 35 SHOULD BE NEVER SEEN"

Should we go topless? I am by no means a prude but  I really do not like seeing any womens breasts, good or bad.  I don't understand that if you are in a position of power, a princess, a queen, a socialite, or indeed a cashier, why you want the world to see your pendulous breasts, especially if you are going to be Queen of England.  Henry V111 would have used it as an excuse to have your head off. Cover up, is my advice, Your Grace, because there are straightforward rules. Nobody forced you to be married to Royalty and nobody forced you, The Duchess of Cambridge, to remove your bra. Best assume, like his HRH Prince Harry that everybody is watching, because they are.  Equally a word of advice, in the nicest possible way, be careful, as the tides turn in the world of royalty, one minute you are popular and the next minute you have too many dresses, so my advice this year would be to tread carefully. 
Of course her mother, Mrs Middleton will be most upset, she has worked so hard to bring up her daughters. Indeed, The Duchess has been incredible too, working hard since she married. Although if they blame the press they will be in great difficulty, they will only nag more. The press may be the only truth left on this planet,  and they are not trustworthy. Beware of ALL friends, because photographs like this are worth a fortune.
She will have to use old fashioned common sense and my advice is just keep to opening hospitals and worthy institutions as the Duchess has been doing. Give her a chance, she made a mistake to have a normal holiday and she will learn from it. After all she is extremely astute.

Regardless of class, position, wealth, or expectation of other people, what is wrong with elegance?. When has it ever been elegant to show anything?. If a girl wishes to be socially mobile best to keep everything under wraps. When a friend of mine who photographed Madonna in her early stages of success, asked her if he could take risky photographs of her in the nude. She accused him of being seedy, because she said, when she became a star,  he would be selling them on her back. Having said that, I looked up on Google and the first thing I find on Madonna are photographs of her in the nude.. so that is why you should never have nude photographs of yourself, and never relax for a second if you wish to be a success.
The Daily Mail's comment on this subject