WHAT DOES TATLER's LITTLE BLACK BOOK PARTY MEAN IN 2011?

With the famous and infamous on Tatler's Little Black Book Party, announced this week. What does this list really mean  in 2011? Does everybody on it come with a guarantee and a stamp of a approval? Are those who write this list able to make this judgement?

Of course it could seem sour grapes, well it is hardly nectar from the Gods or candy floss from Zeus.  I did not make the list of the most available people over 50 in England under it's new regime of Kate Reardon. Of course everybody likes Kate Reardon, we all do,   but with no invitation on my doorstep, I am thinking my goodness I have obviously fallen from
a) Social grace?
b) The postman must have put it in the wrong box?
c) Perhaps it is a 'teething in' problem?
d) Should I throw myself onto the steps of Tatler and pound prettily until I am presented with an invitation?
e)  Did I not make a big enough donation to a charity of their choice, anything can be arranged?

Whatever does a girl have to do to be on this list?. If I have not done it already, then should I bother to do it at all?.  I could laugh, I could cry, or is it just a relief not to be on it? Does it really have any social pull, who reads this list and is it just for fun?

I am luckily single, well dressed and attractive enough to have a dinner invitation from  several delicious single men around this country.  Surely having gone to most of the best of the rest parties, nearly all of the best funerals and some okay weddings, this is enough to make their list?.  Obviously not.

Of course being totally romantic I am hoping to find my charming prince on a white horse charging down my driveway, may be I should get a longer driveway, or a much smaller horse. Who cares about their faux pas? Life has never been fuller or more interesting.  I have written a play, As I like it,that is going to be performed in Los Angeles at Christmas, and Paris in Springtime.  So, in readiness for the Golden Globe parties, and in re reading the last two lines should I be disappointed?.  Well of course I am, I am a little annoyed. Am I jealous?, no let's not go too far. As I am also showing "My Peccadilloes" a neon show in Ledbury Road on Thursday at the Doyle Devere Gallery, I am somewhat busy, so my life just gets better and better, list or no list. There is something however upsetting about not being included.  It is like saying you are 'not in my club' but I am busy making my own.  If the Tatler party was the only thing to look forward, I might cry or pretend to.

For several years it was the most important magazine that fell onto the doorstep, and something I  enjoyed reading in the hairdresser or in the loo, but now I prefer the internet, in particular Chemistry.com to meet the man of my dreams.  I am not longer a lover of magazines they cost too many trees, and I love The Woodland Trust.. I think I only made their list a handful of times now it has slipped through my fingers. I was on their 'Most Invited' list for ten years, and  I made their 'Best Dressed' list once, which my husband said that I should be number one in, with the amount of dresses I have, but then I have eccentric tastes that applies to my men too.  I like brilliant people, witty and funny.
Good thing is there is nobody in my happy stable, that is not on my team.
Anyway my dance card is full.
P.S I am at least as lovely, sparkling, fragrant, sort after and interesting as Sabrina Guinness but clearly not by Tatler.
If I do get an invitation then imagine my excitement.

My favourite men are as follows dead or alive

Sidney Gilliat my Grandfather
My sons Charles and Jack
My Father Anthony Cave Brown
whoever treats me with the most respect, love and armfuls of flowers.
and the social men?
the problem is that I am a social butterfly and they
are moths to the flame, and as the song goes
'and if their wings burn, I know I am not to blame
but it might be nice if they lit my fire'.

So here goes

Hugh Grant
James Franco

Bryan Adam (on nappy duty)

Sir Tim Rice

Trevor Nunn

Charles Saatchi on calorie watch

Einstein

Errol Flynn

Trevor Howard

and not to forget

Jack English

PEGGY GUGGENHEIM INSPIRES KINDER THE KING CUTTER

Inspired by the great art collector Peggy Guggenheim, Kinder's new collection was based on his 'cot mobile' that he had  when he was a baby. Peggy was a glamorous figure in the 1950's, a buyer of couture and art who lived for Venice. Everything was sculptured so  Kinder put his brilliant cutting into good use.  Coats with lazer cut out flowers, in cashmere using the modern technologies.  Tiny delicate drawings of Japanese abstract designs in pale colours for dresses, flattering the figure at unusual angles. The hats were jaunty and made of clear  colourful plastic and with lots of net placed at an angle.  Stephen Jones works wonders with the face.  On the feet were glittery shoes.
Purple PR treat me well so I was sitting happily in the front row, thanks to Gillian.  Kinders clothes are  the best cut, he was brought up in Italy and of course then went to school at St Martins. He has worked for Galliano, Westwood, Calvin Klein, Paul Smith, Costume National, Versace and Ghost. With this in mind he learnt a lot and has created something new under his name.

I wish I had the same  kudos at Vivienne Westwood, even though I know her and go to the London Symphony Orchestra where she hangs, I still am treated badly.  Yesterday I arrived for the jewellery show and there was a long forlorn cue there, now I am a sophisticated human being and I can no longer stand in a  line of shivering creatures..  I asked the bouncers if I had to stand in it, they said yes, now my nearly 4,000 pound pair of shoes, while being breathtakingly beautiful, have  hidden torture in the heal section, making sure there was no respite. I bought for pleasure not pain. No amount of botox could hide the agony of my shoes.  So I jumped back into the taxi, only to be saved by a member of the paparazzi who said "You can go straight in" I looked at the wet hair of one member of the cue, and thought I can't jump it, it is too unfair. .  I was also asked if I was going to Samantha Cameron's drinks for the opening of Fashion Week? Of course not, but at the last minute my friend Heather Kerzner said I could go with her. I just didn't have my passport or a copy of Tatler to point at my photograph, and I needed to pass security. My greatest girlfriend says I should emerge from my carriage, and a red carpet should grow from the ground and  I should be greedily  received into the throng. I shall write to Vivienne myself and explain my disdain.  Since Heather Kerzner  had the grace to extend an invitation to me it cast a dim light  on Downing Street to make sure my invitation  arrived on time. I know there are cut backs but 2nd class stamps for this?.