"A KISS IS JUST A KISS" or is it?

I swear that kissing makes me look prettier, I know it to be a fact, and younger too, it is Botox for the soul. I was kissing a few weeks ago, and I caught my reflection in a mirror afterwards and I could see the glow.  It makes you feel loved. For that real moment, for that second I felt  on top of the world. Physically I can see it massages the blood cells back into the skin and I feel incredibleI.  I remember that a good old snog makes me feel terrific.
I am  going to kiss  more. I am determined to, it is so much fun. With the popularity of the internet and flirting on line I am a  trifle lazy, but now I shall enjoy it all the time. I first kissed a boy when I was seven and I intend to kiss until I am seventy.
I  remember his name was David and  I pushed him up against a wall and said "kiss me" afterwards I got told off. At aged 8 I was kissed by a boy of 14. A village is a dangerous place to live.
I love the feeling of lips brushing against mine, the feeling of my face being kissed all over, my neck.
So why don't I do it more?
I believe it is more important than making love, more intimate, more touching.
You can feel how desperate the man is,  how passionate he is, or whether they like it or not, if they do not, then they are not for me.
The other day in Kundalini Yoga all I could think about was kissing, I found that it awakened a desire better than any hormone.
I am ambitious with my kissing, I cannot kiss anybody and  I would not kiss a tramp. Despite loving my gay friends I could not imagine kissing a girl, but have kissed several old men. The men I would like to have a kiss with are the following, I am hoping they will  say yes..

Benicio Del Torro
Xavier Berdam
Jesus Christ imagine the healing
Chris Hemsworth
TED the animated film, as in Mark Warlberg's film
Roberty Downey Junior
George Clooney
Jonathan Glazier
Sean Connery
Marlon Brando in Street Car Named Desire..

CATCH 22

Before I start this article I personally love men, god that sounds like I am about to get out my gun and say something vile.  I am not.  I have masses of friends and they are usually all men.
Of course some men hate many things, the biggest one being commitment. I understand.  I feel easily trapped between a pram and a Wholefood trolley, and there is nothing worse for me than feeling  restricted, that I cannot type all night, and having to kiss someone I am supposed to fancy.
I actually find few men who do not wish to commit but sadly I am the one who likes to keep all options open, so I know what a man must feel like too.  There are some men who say they are always looking for something better, someone who behaves like a whore but has a soul with his mother. A very difficult combination. They will often cheat, because why not, until a ring is on the finger why would it be wrong? I feel the same way.  I sort of want a passionate story to end with a ring, all the passion and a dress together.
There are of course men and women who are totally taken in by their  other halves, who buckle under the whip and do not look anywhere but adoringly at their desire.
I cannot, the minute I feel like someone is keen I will make sure that they no longer look at me the same way.
I am very female, I cry when in love, I bore my friends to death about every movement of my hearts desire, but if put in a corner, I am a vicious rat waiting to pounce. If a ring is pushed onto my finger, it feels like it is strangling my flesh and I get the vapours.
I start to loathe the smell of the man, it really turns me off.
This morning I discussed this with a friend and they  suggested I should see a therapist. It feels alien to go and talk about something to a complete stranger, so I shall leave it in the lap of the gods and read a good book instead. Some things are just too tricky to change.