"People don’t usually think about what they need or what will remedy the situation. They think negatively about what their partner should stop doing to ease their own irritation or disappointment. But the positive need is a way that their partner can shine for them." Read more on The Gottman Relationship Blog: Gottman Conflict, Gottman Couples Questions, Gottman Worksheets, John Gottman Worksheets, Gottman Emotion Coaching, Gottman Conflict Resolution, Gottman Institute, Marriage Therapy, Gottman Method