Monday Morning Musing: My Husband

 

Today is my husband's birthday. A milestone year. We’ve been together for almost 50 years. He’s been my rock throughout all this time. Supportive of anything I’ve wanted to try, especially my writing. He’s cheered me on and commiserated with me over rejections. And he’s celebrated my successes.

As many of you know, we met on a blind date, arranged by two women friends—they both knew me and one’s husband worked with my guy. They thought we would be great together. We were…and still are. We are a generation similar to our parents, yet different in our attitudes, especially toward women’s roles. Before we married, we talked about my role when/if children came along. He said he was okay whatever I chose—to work outside the home or stay home and raise the children. I didn’t realize for a long time what a gift he gave me. The freedom of choice.

He looked on himself as the provider for the family. But his job entailed working much more than a 40-hour week, more like 60 to 80 hour-weeks. When he realized how much he was missing from the kids’ lives, he took a huge risk to change from an assured job to something unknown. It also meant moving several states away from our families. But the new job gave him more time with the children. Time to participate in their activities from Scouts to Odyssey of the Mind.

A quiet man, his love has always been expressed through his actions. He’s a listener, not a judge. Coming from a home where my father’s word was law, I couldn’t believe his understanding and his willingness to listen to other sides, not just with me but with the kids, too. His father was a gentle man, too. They say the apple doesn’t fall from the tree. Very true in this case.

Together, we raised two children who’ve taken the best qualities from each of us and expressed them in their own marriages. They chose spouses who complemented them. Just as he complemented me. We have different talents and skills. He’s math and science; I’m arts and literature. His spatial reasoning puts me to shame. When he says something won’t fit, it usually doesn’t. Woodworking is a talent he put to good use. We have furniture he built, so do our kids. Our grandchildren have Adirondack chairs (their names engraved down one slat) that Papa made. Unfortunately, we have different political views. 😊  In fact, we often cancel each other’s votes.

I’ve often said what a blessing our five grandchildren are. Crawling up on Papa’s lap never gets old. The little ones learn about gentle teasing (never cruel) and tickling. They giggle, race away, then return for more. Pulling on his beard, gently, makes them giggle more.

For almost two years, he wasn’t himself. Strokes, confusion, and what was misdiagnosed as early dementia made him seem distant and vague, as if he couldn’t focus on anything or anyone. It was a scary time for us adults, confusing for the young ones. Worse was the distance because of covid. Thank God, the doctors finally diagnosed him correctly with a proper cure. Our husband, father, grandfather returned.

I’ve been very fortunate to know this man for so long, to work with him as a partner through the good times and difficult ones. My wish for him on this special birthday is that we have many more years together.

 

Happy Birthday, sweetheart.

 

Monday Morning Musing: Grandchildren, Covid, UFOs, & Boba Fett

How was your week? I don't know how the days fly by so quickly. We're past the middle of January already. I wish I could say they've been productive days for me. Alas, my writing tanked momentarily.

Our four-year-old grandsons came over and helped with the Christmas decorations. They took down the small nutcrackers, Santas, and stackers that were in the bookcases. Standing on stools worked for two shelves, but the top shelf became a problem--unless we let them stand on a rolling walker. That's a big no-no. Daredevils that they are, they try to get away with that. They are pretty good thinkers and it's fun to watch them figure out how to do something. They  ended up taking Hubs' extension grabber and wielded it well enough to bring down the nutcrackers. 

There's a saying that goes if I'd known grandchildren were so much fun I would've had them first. A lot of truth to that. Or maybe they are our reward for surviving our children. 

Moving on: the covid virus is rampant here in Michigan. From what I've heard, the omicron variant is highly contagious, but the symptoms aren't as severe. Nevertheless, our hospitals are full of people who have been hit hard. Hubs and I mask up when we have to go anywhere. Most of the time, we stay home, even though we've been vaccinated and gotten our boosters as has the rest of the family except for the twins. Still, it's better for us not to take chances. Cabin fever time again. Thank goodness, there are new shows on TV, not just reruns.

Speaking of new shows, have you seen The Book of Boba Fett on Disney+? Fascinating. I'd forgotten that at the end of Star Wars VI: Return of the Jedi, Han Holo knocked Boba Fett into the pit where a fearsome beast (sarlacc) would slowly consume him. But then he showed up in The Mandolorian last year. Apparently, all that happened to him had to be explained to us Star Wars fans (short for fanatics 😊).

Did you know the Pentagon has launched a new UFO office? Their job will be to investigate sightings of unidentified flying objects. Aren't they a little late? The first UFO sighting (we know about) was in 1947.

Are you watching Around the World in 80 Days with David Tenant (my favorite Doctor in the Doctor Who series)? It's on PBS Masterpiece. Another fascinating show.

Time to get back to The Case of the Wedding Wrecker, my work-in-progress, which I'm sharing on weekends with the Weekend Writing Warriors. See you next week. Stay safe!

  

Playing Catch Up

Once again, I apologize for being absent on Mondays. I started this blog back in 2011 and rarely missed a Monday. This year has been different. Between the weather (the winter that never left), my mood (winter blahs that bordered on depression), and my health (pneumonia), this blog suffered. I kept up with my commitments on Paranormal Romantics, The Roses of Prose, and Pandora’s Box Gazette, though. Isn’t that typical? We don’t want to let others down, so we push ourselves to complete projects, yet we ignore commitments to ourselves.

On the writing front: I’m still working on Numbers Never Lie, my romantic suspense. Every weekend, I share a 10-sentence snippet with Weekend Writing Warriors. I’ve loved the comments. So encouraging. I just have about 10,000 words to go. But, it’s the same 10k that’s been staring me in the face all month. I need a kick in the pants to finish. I’m sure Hubs will be happy to oblige. 😊

Spring finally came yesterday. The sun is shining. The temp is in the 60s, approaching 70. The spring flowers—daffodils and tulips—are poking their tips out of the ground. It’s amazing how the weather affects mood. I feel more energy, excited to get moving.

My health is a topic I’d prefer not to talk about—even though I’ve used the bout with pneumonia as fodder for other blogs. I went to the doctor’s last week for a follow up visit and to discuss recent blood work. Lack of energy and short of breath upon the slightest exertion worried me. Last spring, I had congestive heart failure, so I worried about that returning. The blood work confirmed what I’ve been expecting. Diabetes. At this point, the doctor said it hasn’t damaged my body. He attributes all my symptoms (chronic back pain, shortness of breath, and diabetes) to being overweight. At every visit, he’s told me to exercise more. How do you exercise when your back is killing you? He asked what weight loss programs I’ve tried in the past that worked. Weight Watchers. Then he “ordered” me to join. Losing twenty pounds, he said, would make a difference. (Never mind I have several 20 pounds to lose.) So, I joined online and will attend my first in-person meeting tomorrow. By announcing this, I’m putting myself on notice. I can’t backslide or give up, not when other people know about it.

On a happier note: Saturday, I had a rare treat. I took my oldest grandchild to lunch. Just she and I—no sibling, no parents, no granddad. She’s ten (closing in on eleven) and very mature. In so many ways, she reminds me of her mother. For years, people have said she looks like her mom. While I agree, I see more of our daughter’s personality in her. Serious, studious, a hard worker, a reader, a leader. Yet, she has her own personality, too. She’s bubbly and fun-loving. She’s a dancer (ballet), a Girl Scout, plays violin, and is active in church. Yesterday, she was an acolyte at the early service and read Scripture at the second. Best of all, she’s a great conversationalist. From the time I picked her up, through lunch, and almost all the way back to her house, she carried on a conversation with me. No one-word answers to my questions. We talked about school, her summer plans, what she’s reading (always a good topic LOL) and the previous night’s sleepover at a girlfriend’s. It’s probably obvious I am very proud of her. And proud of her parents for raising such a good kid. This was so much fun for me, I plan to do it often with her and the other grandkids. The ones who can talk. I think it will be a while before the twins are ready for lunch with grandma.

Have a great week. I promise to do better with this blog.

Star Wars, Christmas Program, & Friends

The title of this post was our weekend. Busy and fun. We met friends for lunch on Saturday, finally getting together in over a year. I can’t believe it’s been so long. The good/bad aspect of retirement is we have time. Time to travel, to play with/visit grandchildren, to write, to do all kinds of things. We would agree that “we have to get together” then not set a date. I’m ashamed that I didn’t. My vow for 2018 is not to neglect my friends.

Our granddaughter (10-year-old) is a dancer. Saying she loves to dance is an understatement. Her enthusiasm is evidenced by her big smiles as she dances on stage. This weekend was the holiday program by her dance studio. In years past, they performed “The Nutcracker.” This year they combined dance numbers with little skits. We saw another side of our g’daughter. An actress. In one scene, she scolded some children. She explained later that she was channeling her mother scolding her brother. Very effective. Proud grandmother here.

Yesterday, we saw Star Wars VIII: The Last Jedi. Nothing is more fun than watching a movie with fans—daughter, son-in-law, g’daughter, and grandson (almost 8). Did you know that fan is a shortened word for fanatic? Oh, yeah. We are a family of Star Wars fans. I’d heard raves about this episode. Even if it had met with disgruntled reviews like Episode VII, I still would have gone and enjoyed. Without spoilers, I'll say this movie had several surprises, cliffhanging scenes, and great lightsaber fights interspersed with humorous one-liners. The most poignant, though, was seeing Carrie Fisher (Princess Leia) and knowing she was gone.

After the movie, we went to dinner and talked and talked about the movie. G’son, who never sits still unless he’s playing with Legos, didn’t move during the movie. He barely ate any popcorn, and then only before the movie began. He sat next to me, transfixed by the action. During dinner, he bounced on the bench in his excitement to talk. I knew he’d read several Star Wars books and watched the TV shows. I didn’t realize how knowledgeable he’d become. Wow. Not sure I want to play Star Wars Trivial Pursuit against him. SIL is very observant. He mentioned things I totally missed. Not unusual for me. I focus so intently on the main action that I often miss what’s happening (or is shown) off to the sides. I’m sure I’ve mentioned before that I have to watch a movie a couple of times before I catch everything. (side note: I had to watch Inception five times before I got it all. I think.)

I love discussing movies. Books, too. One of the reasons I belong to a book group is to get others’ take on what we’ve read. It’s so much fun to delve into the reason behind a scene or subtle hints with others.

The holidays are upon us. No surprise there. Our grandkids had a snow day last week, the day we were babysitting Toddler Girl. The three cousins helped decorate. (With releasing Romance Rekindled, I’m still so behind.) The older two had fun standing on the kitchen counters to put my nutcracker collection on top of the cabinets. TG helped by handing them up to the older ones. She was fascinated by the stackers I only put out at Christmas time. (She’s played with the plastic Star Wars set that I keep out all year.) Between the three, our house is about half decorated. TG is coming over today. Maybe she can help put ornaments on the tree. LOL Thank goodness, the tree has lights or it would look very bare. Where does the time go?

My New Release Alert (newsletter) went out last week. Did you get your copy? Be sure to sign up so you don’t miss getting it. You get a free short story when you sign up. Use the signup in the top right corner above.

Here’s the link to read the latest. http://mailchi.mp/97b6c4bfa19c/a-new-release

I hope you and your family enjoy the holidays. 

Cuddling

November is here with all its gray skies and gloomy weather. We’ll be treated to a tease of sunshine, then the nastiness will start up again.

That aside, I’m still doing the happy dance (did you feel the thudding?) over the additions to our family. If you followed my link to TheRoses of Prose last Monday, then you know the twins came a week ago Saturday. Four weeks early, yet one weighed in at a whopping eight pounds and the other almost six. As a commenter pointed out, that was a lot of baby (almost 14 pounds) to carry. No wonder Daughter-in-law was so uncomfortable.

At first the babies were fine. Then the larger one developed what the doctors thought was a bowel problem. They rushed him to the children’s hospital about an hour away. Although not pooping could’ve been the sign of a more serious problem/disease, the multitude of tests assured us it wasn’t. In fact, once he was there he did what was necessary. Amazing how we all cheered over pooping. LOL

A large problem then set in. Two babies, an hour apart. Son went to the children’s hospital while DIL had to stay here at our local hospital with the smaller one. Her boys were too far apart. The hospitals had two different rules about who can hold the babies. Our local hospital would only let the parents, while the children’s hospital was more lenient. That meant Hubs and I got to hold the bigger boy but not his brother. Still, I had the privilege of giving him his first bottle. On Halloween. Plus, he opened his beautiful eyes and looked at me. I’m such a sucker for big eyes. 😊

Once DIL was released from the hospital, she could visit the bigger boy. But it meant someone had to take her because she wasn’t allowed to drive yet. Between Son and us, we got her there and back for the smaller baby. Again because of their more relaxed rules, Toddler Girl got to hold her brother at the children’s hospital. DIL recorded her reaction over “examining” the baby. So precious. She pulled away his blanket to see his toes. “What’s that?” she asked about so many things, from the monitor on his foot to his tiny diaper and navel.

On Friday, the most amazing thing happened. The bigger boy was transported back to our local hospital. The twins were together again.

We don’t know what goes on in the minds of infants. After being together in the womb for eight months, did they realize they were separated? My imagination says yes. When DIL held them together the day after birth, their tiny hands touched. Five days later, when reunited and again held against Mom’s chest, their fingers touched again. I have to think they knew they were together again.

Babies fascinate me. When I was growing up, there was always a baby in the house. Or so it seemed. I’m the oldest of seven. My youngest brother was born when I was fifteen. Even as a youngster myself, I helped Mom. Rocking the bassinet or holding a bottle. I graduated to changing diapers, the cloth kind back then. I learned early on how to hold a baby, how to feed him/her a bottle, how to burp afterward.

You’d think after so much responsibility at a young age I wouldn’t want children. Not so. I couldn’t wait until my own were born. I also couldn’t wait until they were old enough to talk and walk. Consequently, I didn’t appreciate the value of cuddling an infant. I’ve been making up for that for the past ten years. When cuddling a baby, all else disappears. Worries, frustrations, everyday stuff. I relax and enjoy the “now” with that tiny body against mine.

I can’t wait until those boys come home so I can get more cuddling in.

#MFRWauthor 52-week Blog Challenge - Favorite Things

I just joined the Marketing For Romance Writers 52-week Blog Challenge. Just what I need--another blog post to write. LOL I missed the sign up for this week but, hey, why not? This week's topic is Favorite Things.

My favorite thing is the ceramic Nativity set my mother made, long before Alzheimer's took its toll. She asked if I wanted all the colors, and I said no. I wanted them all gold, much like the Nativity set my grandmother had made when I was young.

If you'd asked me seven years ago, I'd say books are my next favorite things. I had shelves and shelves of books. Then I got a Kindle. I know people who love the feel of paper books. I used to think that way, too. I love the freedom of having something to read all the time. Many times, while waiting at the doctor's, dentist's, etc., I'd finish a book and have nothing to read. Carrying one paperback in my purse was okay but not two. With the Kindle, if I finish one book, I can start another. Still, I love books whether they are paper or digital.

When we moved three years ago, I had to let go of many things. Unlike our previous moves when the company paid for the move, this one was on our dime. Paper books are heavy (and we were paying by the pound), so many books went to the local library for their used book sale. I'm glad others will get a chance to read them.

Something that didn't go in the estate sale or get donated was my nutcracker collection. Each Christmas, I love putting them out and enjoy looking at them. My mother-in-law gave me my first nutcracker back in the early 1980s. As soon as she found out I liked them, she and her sister gave me one or more each Christmas and birthday for over 20 years. Hubs, who thinks more is better, kept giving me LOTS of them until I said no more! One a year only. Now he looks for the most interesting, unique nutcracker every year. I have to say (and did) that this year's was the ugliest. 

Sometimes I get too attached to things. People are more important. Like my grandkiddies. With them, I get to combine my favorite things. We read books together and they write stories with me. (They tell me what to write and I type.) Before Christmas, they helped put out my nutcracker collection by standing on my kitchen counters and putting them on top of the cabinets. OSHA would not approve, but they had fun.

Here's the link to the others participating in the challenge: http://mfrw.blogspot.com/2017/01/2017blogchallenge.html

Mother's Day

I hope all the mothers among you had a great day yesterday. I did. I really did. Besides being with my son and his wife, they decided to have their baby baptized on Mother’s Day so Hubs and I could be there. So very thoughtful. Living 2,000 miles away means we’ll miss a lot of events in Baby Girl’s life. At least, we didn’t miss this one.

The hardest thing will be leaving. After two weeks of holding our newest granddaughter, I’m sure to go into withdrawal. When my other grandchildren were born, we were less than 300 miles away. A fairly easy drive. Now they’re twenty minutes away. Thank goodness for technology. Even though it won't be the same as being there, we'll Facetime or Skype and our daughter-in-law will send pictures. And, gee, Arizona in the winter? Hmmm.

Grandchildren bring so much happiness. They don’t have to do anything to bring a smile to my face…Hubs’, too. I've had to wrestle with him over who gets to hold the baby. LOL

Our daughters—both the one we raised and the one our son married—are great mothers. Our own daughter has been at it for almost eight years; our daughter-in-law, only 4 weeks. The love these women have for their children shines out of their eyes and fills me with such pride and joy.

On Mother’s Day, I think about our mothers who have passed on. Neither of our mothers had an easy time during the early years of their marriage. Hubs’ parents married during the Great Depression. Money was so tight they delayed having children for a long time. My mom and dad married during World War II. Separations and moving from base to base had to be tough. 

Mom encouraged me to do my best in school. She was a great speller so she always quizzed me on my word lists each week. She was so pleased when I became the first in both hers and Dad's families to graduate from college. As I grew older, she and I became more like friends. I loved the times we went out for lunch and wish we could still do that. Even though Alzheimer’s cut her life short too soon, she did get to meet my first grandchild. Mom died six weeks later, but from pictures I could see a glimpse of the mother she used to be as she held the baby.

Mothers, daughters, granddaughters. All part of the flow of life.

Babies

I’m sure you’ve heard/read the statement "if I knew grandchildren were so much fun I’d have had them first." So true. When you have children, you’re so concerned about doing things “right.” And then there’s all those other things that need to be taken care of—fix meals (husbands do like to eat), clean the house (esp. when the dust bunnies take over), do laundry (how did we go through so many clothes?), and the job away from home. It came be overwhelming.

With grandchildren, you just have to be there. You can hold them all you want (or as long as their parents let you). You don’t have to worry about household chores. You can sit and talk to them and they look at you with such wide eyes and grins. When they fall asleep in your arms, it’s such a wonderful feeling. You look at this little bundle of joy that came from your child and you marvel at the blessing. When you see that look of awe on your child’s face, you just smile and think “that’s how I looked at you.”

By now I’m sure you figured out that my granddaughter was born. Thanks to the wonders of technology, I saw her in the delivery room. Every day, my son and daughter-in-law send pictures and/or videos. Hubs and I love the instantaneous messages. No waiting for the mail to bring pictures. Phone calls aren’t just sounds of cooing or crying but video, too. Then we got to hold her. I’m enthralled.

She is our third grandchild. You’d think I would be used to this terrific feeling. Nope. How do you get used to a miracle? We’ll enjoy this time with her and not think about when we have to leave. I’ll worry that she won’t remember us. I’ll count the days until we return. In between, we’ll Facetime or Skype and eagerly await new pictures.