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Am I Still Mine If Nobody Sees

by Eliot Wilder

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1.
In My Old Bedroom 04:45
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In my old bedroom I’d be listening to “Music From Big Pink” I’d roll a joint in the gatefold It had that stanky skunky stink And when “The Weight” would start playing My creaky old bed would start swaying In my old bedroom It was my hideaway My hideaway from all the screaming In my old bedroom My secret place My secret place where I was dreaming In my old bedroom I’d lie me down, I’d lie me down and masturbate I’d dream of that girl in Geometry class And how I might ask her out on a date But I never ever found the cojones I was too busy standing on ceremonies No one could hurt me Or say I’m retarded I could be myself And not be guarded In my old bedroom I could pretend that I was the new Bob Dylan I’d fake my way on my shit guitar My playing was weak but my spirit was willin’ My sister would bust in and laugh at me She’d say, Who you trying to be
2.
Let's Do This Thing 04:16
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Come on baby put your left foot in And shake it all around Are you ready to cut loose Lift yourself up off of the ground The only thing that's holding you back Is your irrational fear So put all your fears on hold And get your big bad booty in gear Now when I call you up Don't you tell me what you can't do There's only so much time on the clock Don't you waste it all being untrue Let's do this thing, let's do it today Let's do this thing Dig it, do it right away Don't you know that I am hungry as hell I could eat horse Will you please whip me one up It'll be the first course Then I wanna go and hit the town Take in a few shows The only thing that's impossible Is the impossibility of crows Tired of hearing all your lame excuses It's getting pretty old The world will turn one way or the other Lo and behold You know you got yourself a choice here This ain't no dictatorship At least it's not one yet, baby So get on down on a funky tip
3.
Waiting on You 03:24
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I wait on you in the morning I wait on you in the afternoon I wait on you in the evening You're not coming or going any time soon Got the waiting on you Waiting on you Waiting on you blues Got the waiting on you Waiting on you Waiting on you blues Might as well take a snooze I'm all dressed up I'm all set to get on going When you'll be good and ready Well I have no way of knowing You tell me, Gimme a minute But that minute turns into an hour Wanna kick you in your keister But I ain't got that kind of power
4.
Old Blue Heart 06:02
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Sometimes the weight of the world Presses down so hard It threatens to break me in two And leave me scarred I'm not as resilient As I used to be I feel like my limbs Are like a broken old tree My old blue heart, it bleeds red My blood is like a river over a riverbed My old blue heart, it beats so true It beats for you, it beats for you True blue I still think about you mostly late at night While the rest of the world is sleeping I leave on a light I pray for your safe return Though I know you won't be back How many years has it been I can't keep track You needed to find your own special way Wherever that took you, well you could not say I tried to understand and I let you go Where are you now I just don't know, I just don't know I heard from some friends That you moved out west You cut off your hair And you're still on your quest Some say you are happy Some say you've found peace That may be good for you But for me the longing it just won't cease
5.
Blue Sunday 05:25
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It's a Sunday morning And the snow is coming down The sky is gray And all the leaves are brown Went out for a walk On this winter's day Well I would be safe and warm If I was out in LA I am blue I am blue for you I am blue Boo hoo I am blue Stopped into a church I passed along the way Got down on my knees And I pretend to pray You know the preacher, he likes the cold He knows I'm gonna stay California dreamin’ On Such a winter’s day All the leaves are brown And the sky is gray I've been for a walk On a winter's day If I didn't tell her I could leave today California dreamin’ On such a winter’s day
6.
Jump 04:22
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My whole body aches It aches me right down to the bone Something’s burning in me Burning like acetone There ain’t no remedy There ain’t no kind of cure And I gotta wonder How much more I can endure Wanna jump Wanna jump out of my skin Wanna blow myself up Wanna pull out the pin Wanna jump out of my skin I don’t have good days I just have days of endless pain I go out for a stroll And I get hit by a train I don’t ask for much I ask for nothing at all Try to right myself But then I stumble and fall I didn’t ask for this But this is what I got Ask me how much it hurts It hurts a lot I raise the white flag And I am calling for surrender Will you take me by the hand Will you treat me sweet and tender Is it too much to ask Won’t you give me what I need Or would rather be a jerk And simply watch me bleed
7.
John Lennon's Blues 05:40
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I feel so lonely I just wanna die Well I feel so lonely I just wanna die Why I ain't dead already Don't know the reason why Why I ain't dead already Oh girl I don't know the reason why And I got John Lennon's blues And I got John Lennon's blues In the morning I just wanna die In the evening I just wanna die Why I ain't dead already I don't know the reason why Why I ain't dead already I don't know the reason why The eagle picks my eye The worm he licks my bones I feel so suicidal Just like Dylan's Mr. Jones Black cloud crossed my mind Blue mist 'round my soul Feel so suicidal Even hate my rock and roll I feel so lonely I just wanna die Well I feel so lonely I just wanna die I dig a pony I dig a pony
8.
Next Stop Wonderland 03:48
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9.
Real Gritty Nitty 04:31
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Well I look in the mirror and who do I see A crazy old man looking back at me He seems to follow my every move I bang on a drum and he gets in the groove I wish that I could make him go away But it looks like he is here to stay Get on down to the real gritty nitty Well I used it be young but now I am old My story no longer waits to be told All my glory days are far behind And the women I see pay they me no mind I sit all alone in the back of the bus In the spot reserved for a crazy old cuss Well nobody sees me and nobody cares I'm a crazy old man giving crazy old stares I sit around eating apple sauce Used to give a damn now I don't give a toss Let the world be run by a Gameboy kid Will he do better than this old man did
10.
Forevermore 05:58
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You said there was A present coming in the mail I should look for it tomorrow It will come without fail You said that I would love it Yeah, that was your claim But to my surprise the present never came What about your promise What about your word You laughed at me and said I was being absurd I said, Nothing means nothing Then I slammed the door Forevermore I asked you what had happened To my present in the mail You had said that it was coming Coming without fail You said I was mistaken Must be out of my head I must have misheard exactly what you said You like to build my hopes up Make me think you're great But the only thing I feel, yeah Is deep-seated hate Well you can keep your presents No thank you Don't need you in my life We are done and through
11.
January Town 05:33
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Christmas is done and gone And all the presents Are tossed out in the trash The tree has been take down And I am plumb outta cash Got them January blues And a snow is coming down, down, down The light is dim and gray All over this January town It is ten below And I'm freezing down to my marrow Gonna put my feet up And lower down my sombrero They say April is cruel But they got that all wrong January is hell That's why I'm singing this song It's the dead of winter And there ain't nowhere to go The last thing I wanna do Is go out and shovel the fucking snow
12.
The Dream of the House Inside the House 04:36
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We've stayed together all these years Through the joy and the tears In a home we've made our own You and me together alone It's the dream of the house Inside the house Where we've built on the foundation In these rooms we lived out our lives Now the house is coming down Now the house is coming down In this room a light is on And you are reading your book I am in a separate corner Giving you a longing look There are rooms that are dark They've been shuttered for years Like the one where we made love There were laughs There were tears

about

Little soul,
you leap in the dance,
lay your head in warm air,
lift your feet out of twinkling grass,
which the wind urges into gentle motion.
–Kafka

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released November 5, 2025

Cover "Am I Still Mine If Nobody Sees" by Eliot Wilder

Songs written and performed by Eliot Wilder

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Eliot Wilder Boston, Massachusetts

“Keep ravens and they will tear your eyes out.”

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