We Are at War, and I Want It to Stop

Infinite Wishes 🏳️‍⚧️🚀 is a weblog by Emma Humphries

The more you know, the more jokes you get.

31 May 2026 » Explosions (Not) in the Sky

An old NASA safety film brings back some family memories.

This past Friday evening, a Blue Origin New Glenn rocket, fueled with liquid methane and oxygen, exploded on the pad during a test fire, obliterating the rocket and much of the pad and its ground infrastructure. It may be more than a year before the New Glenn flies again. This will delay NASA’s plan to land people on the Moon for the first time in over 50 years12, but the upside is that there’ll be slightly less Kessler Syndrome bait launched into LEO3.

The next evening, YouTube served up a NASA safety film from the US National Archives4. All about handling all the dangerous propellants used by many rockets-things that my wife, a chemist by training, is glad not to work with-hypergolics and monopropellants. Stuff with lots of nitrogen and oxygens in them. And anything with enough nitrogen in it is angry and does not want to exist.

The opening narration, over the footage of a first-generation Atlas missile exploding on the pad, is “this is not a common occurrence,” and:

  1. My Dad worked at Vandenberg in the early 1960s and according to him Atlases blowing up was a common occurrence.
  2. The Atlas uses kerosene and liquid oxygen; not hypergolics.

The film gets to business and explains why these toxic as anything fuels are used: high specific impulse and no need for cryogenics, and why they are dangerous to people (all those nitrogens, and the oxygens aren’t helping either.)

There are plenty of demonstrations of the hazards, with men (sigh, it’s the 1960s and NASA is not listening to the room) wearing SCAPE suits5. These are the personal-protective gear my father wore when working around hypergolic-fueled Titan II missiles at Vandenberg in the early 1960s6. Dad said you could not use the escape ladders in the silo while wearing one. They are nearly as bulky as a modern EVA space suit.

The film was made at Kennedy Space Center/Cape Canaveral and all the men with speaking roles have that strong Florida white guy accent. Especially the controller in the blockhouse. I’d not be surprised to see them racing souped up cars at Daytona Beach when they weren’t working on rockets.

Seeing the Titan II gives me an odd nostalgia. Thank all gods that the rocket my father worked on was never launched in anger, and variants of it sent people to space, landers to Mars, and robots to the edge of the Solar System and beyond. In my reverie I’m going to ignore the variants used to launch spy satellites7.

The author, a grey haired white woman wearing glasses, trying not to cry, because she misses her Dad, standing in front of a Titan II mocked up to look like a Gemini Titan at the Rocket Garden at the Kennedy Space Center's visitor area, December 2018

  1. Maybe China can sell Jared Issacman a Lunar lander and a Long March 10. Yes, I’m 🐱 as anything about this. 

  2. I’m laughing too loud to hear you ask “but what about SpaceX’s Starship-derived lander?” 

  3. Low Earth Orbit, where most of the thousands of satellites in the billionaire-financed constellations go (so that rich people can day trade from their cabins in Wyoming.) 

  4. I guess Musk’s child men in charge of the Purge℠ decided it wasn’t ‘woke.’ 

  5. Self-Contained Atmospheric Protective Ensemble 

  6. Yes, he was there during the Cuban Missile Crisis, and yes he never forgave JFK for playing nuclear chicken. 

  7. And the West Cost variant (as Tupac’s “California Love” plays in the background). 

17 Apr 2026 » The Lunar Mixtape

Is it okay to play "The Dark Side of the Moon" if the near side of the Moon is in lunar night?

Last updated 03 Jun 2026
Credit: NASA

Musical wake-up calls to NASA crews in space date back to at least the Apollo program1.

Reactor.com published the list of the wake-up songs that Mission Control played for the Artemis II crew:

  1. “Sleepyhead” by Young & Sick
  2. “Green Light” by John Legend (feat. André 3000)
  3. “In a Daydream” by Freddy Jones Band
  4. “Pink Pony Club” by Chappell Roan
  5. “Working Class Heroes (Work)” by CeeLo Green
  6. “Good Morning” by Mandisa and TobyMac
  7. “Tokyo Drifting” by Denzel Curry and Glass Animals
  8. “Under Pressure” by Queen and David Bowie
  9. “Lonesome Drifter” by Charley Crockett
  10. “Run to the Water” by Live

Solid list. Putting André 3000 on it seems legitimizing2.

But if NASA were to invite me3 on a flight around our Moon and back, I’d hope I’d get to make the playlist.

My list leans into road-trip but in free fall, with slack key/pedal guitars, instrumentals, harmonies, strolling bass-lines, and psych/funk.

I’ve put the playlist on YouTube. Hope you enjoy it.

  1. I don’t know if ISS crews get wake-up music. 

  2. Do not @ me, Gen-Z and Gen-α. Give me some credit for knowing a little bit of early 2000’s Hip Hop. 

  3. Seriously, call me, NASA. Even if it’s for help with the Artemis IV playlist. 

  4. Hell yeah, pantomime math rock. 

  5. The one who was in The Eagles, not the reactionary jerk. 

  6. This is the big rave up for Trans-Lunar Injection (the one with the engine, not the estradiol valerate.) 

  7. There’s a live version that’s so good. 

30 Dec 2025 » Books Read in 2025

The books I read in 2025

I’ve doubled the number of books I’ve read each year since I started keeping track in 2020.

  1. Harrow the Ninth, Tasmyn Muir
  2. The Power Fantasy, Vol. One: The Superpowers, Kieron Gillen, Caspar Wijngaard
  3. The Burnout Society, Byung-Chul Han – Short but super dense academic philosophy, I got sort of the gist but lots of references to classical, 19th C, 20th C, and contemporary philosophers
  4. Neoreaction: a Basilisk, Elizabeth Sandifer – The primer on all the goons and weirdoes who inspired Musk and company. Reviewed here
  5. Trans/Rad/Fem, Talia Bhatt
  6. Seeing Like a State, James C. Scott – The origin of the “they said ‘legiblity,’ drink!” game
  7. The Operating System: An Anarchist Theory of the State, Eric Laursen
  8. The River Has Roots, Amal El-Mohtar
  9. Vera Rubin: A Life, Jacqueline Mitton, Simon Mitton
  10. The Martian Contingency, Mary Robinette Kowai
  11. The Splinter in the Sky, Kemi Ashing-Giwa – Is there a name for this genre of outsider goes to the imperial core, and gets mixed up in intrigues ? Arkady Martine’s A Memory of Empire is another novel exploring this
  12. A Memory of Empire, Arkady Martine – So I reread it. I missed Three Seagrass
  13. Braiding Sweetgrass: Indigenous Wisdom, Scientific Knowledge, and the Teachings of Plants, Robin Wall Kimmerer
  14. The Potency of Ungovernable Impulses, Malka Older – The next “Investigations of Mossa and Pleiti” novel
  15. Light from Uncommon Stars, Ryka Aoki
  16. Automatic Noodle, Annalee Newitz – A wonderful novel about people (in this case robots) healing from the trauma of a war, and learning to exercise their agency
  17. Nuts and Bolts: Seven Small Inventions That Changed the World in a Big Way, Roma Agrawal
  18. The Practice, the Horizon, and the Chain, Sofia Samatar
  19. Lessons in Magic and Disaster, Charlie Jane Anders – Charlie Jane’s protagonist’s words to her mom really stuck with me:

    “You don’t need to restart your career, or rebuild your resume. You just need to have a life once again. Which means getting money and finding things to do that make you feel fulfilled. Right? And maybe you can combine those two things, and get money for doing something you enjoy. But you don’t have to think of your job as your life, or try to be ‘high-powered.’”

  20. Star Sword Nemesis, Christine Love – I appreciated the callbacks to Gundam, but this was so not for me
  21. Joyful Militancy: Building Resistance in Toxic Times, Nick Montgomery and carla bergman
  22. Breakneck: China’s Quest to Engineer the Future, Dan Wang
  23. Service Model, Adrian Tchaikovsky – I want to write about this, in conversation with Plur1bus (which is the best thing I’ve seen on TV in ages)
  24. Inventing the Renaissance, Ada Palmer

25 Oct 2025 » Whistle Bloc

Resisting tyrants a few meters of PLA at a time

Credit: The author

Folks who are adopting a corner by a Home Depot where day laborers look for work or are walking neighborhood patrols in cities where my horrible Federal government is kidnapping people1 carry whistles to alert people when the goon squads show up. (Multiple short blasts means they’ve been spotted, long blasts means they are snatching people.)

At least we have 3D printers in this timeline so I can print whistles in bulk.

I’ve found this tiny whistle from ACstudio on Printables to print and function reliably and loud.

I print them with 0.15mm layer height, five layers top and bottom, and perimeters of two. You don’t need supports. Set up the seam in your slicer to keep it on the outside of the whistle, along a corner.

I’m using PLA. Make sure it’s dry because stringing on the inside will interfere with the airflow. You may want to put down a layer of glue stick. I like Overture’s PLA Professional2 but I was out of it, so this batch was printed in “Galaxy Silver” Prusament PLA.

You can be fancy and put them on braided paracord leads if you have time.

When you see the kidnapping squads, alert your local immigrant rights group, they’ll have a hotline number you can call or text. Remember to follow SALUTE when reporting:

Take good notes and pictures, and remember you have the right to record and report on their activities.

The Montgomery Bus Boycott worked because the organizers had supply chains and logistics. You don’t need an inflatable frog costume or a nightly confrontation with ICE in PDX, you need to make sure people get fed when they can’t leave home to work, that fliers with critical information are printed and distributed, and people in the field have supplies.

A palmfull of 3D printed whistles

If you’re in the East Bay and need whistles, contact me.

  1. If you’re going to claim “they are illegal,” I’ll remind you they are people, and to stop using that word. 

  2. I like the “digital blue”. 

08 Oct 2025 » A Strategy for Donations in the Subscription Economy

It's the KEXP FM/.org Fall fund raising drive. What can charitable organizations like KEXP do to make it easier for people be sustaining donors?

Having written this, I think it might be an interesting research topic for someone in an economics or public service program, and there may already be existing work on this problem. If there is, let me know.

This is one of two weeks each year that KEXP1, the independent music station, based in Seattle, but also broadcasting in the Bay Area, holds a fund raising drive. Since Mike Johnson (R, LA)2 killed the Corporation for Public Broadcasting at the behest of Donald J. Trump3, pledge drives have become even more important for public media.

Credit cards have enabled public media and other non-profits to offer some sort of sustaining membership program. KEXP calls their sustaining members Amplifiers4. Sustaining memberships help solve the problem of one-and-done donations. Instead of having to convince the person who donated in the previous pledge drive to donate again, and convince another person to donate in their stead, the organization can focus on getting new sustaining donors to increase revenue (and replace sustaining donors who have left.)

On KEXP and most other public stations, the DJs and hosts try to announce every pledge made.

And I noticed, as I listen5, that not every donor is a new sustaining donor. There are still people making one-off donations. And many of them are for amounts greater than $120 or $10/month.

From KEXP’s point of view, while the donation fills a pressing need, it’s not recurring revenue.

If one has limited income, then making a small, one time donation of what one can afford is optimal.

But, why, then does a person make a one-time donation of $1,000 instead of a recurring monthly donation of $83?

Maybe that person is donating out of a bonus or other windfall income that they don’t expect to have again. They might derive pleasure from giving a large amount at once.

Or there might be costs to the subscription.

I’m close to retiring and one of things I’m having to do is finding all the subscriptions to software, services, and charities and either canceling or decreasing the amount of money I’m giving them as I diminish, go into The West, and remain Galadriel because I’m going to be on a fixed income. And I’ve either missed or glossed over reminder emails about renewals, had trouble finding where one can go online to cancel or change the subscription6.

And that is a good reason not to set up a sustaining membership. If it’s not going to be easy to cancel or change it when one’s circumstances dictate.

If you’re a charitable organization trying to maximize the amount of sustaining funding you receive two things you can do is:

  1. Provide a donor portal website, and make sure every email you send from receipts, newsletters, and requests for donations has the link to that donor portal and that donors and potential donors can find that portal on your website. And that portal should allow donors to change or cancel their sustaining membership as well as change how they pay.

  2. Don’t jump from one donor platform to another unless necessary. I’ve had to send emails asking for help because I set up monthly donations two platforms ago and the current one doesn’t have my info (but Stripe still has my CC number.)

  3. Make sure that transaction receipts identify who the charity is and again, have a link to where the donor can manage.

I know that #2 is going to be harder, especially as Trump and cronies try to find ways to cut off charities they don’t approve of from their donors, but reducing uncertainty and that “wat?” when you get a notification on your phone for a $10 charge and can’t immediately recall who the payee is, or heaven forbid one loses their job without warning or severance and need to cut spending will make it easier for someone to select that “$20/month sustaining member” item instead of a one-time donation.

I’d like to take the opportunity to remind Mozilla they could fund Firefox through sustaining memberships instead of all the AI and ad nonsense they are chasing after at the moment.

  1. I made a mini-site that reads the API for KEXP’s real-time playlist to display what’s currently playing there. It used to be on Glitch (RIP.) I also should add some more features to it. 

  2. Professional Rat Fucker 

  3. Convicted Felon and Sexual Abuser 

  4. Cynthia and I are sustaining donors and plan to be as long as we’re able. 

  5. What, like I’m going to listen to a streaming service run by a guy who thinks murdering people in Gaza with drones is cool? 

  6. Some, such as Planned Parenthood, don’t let you modify your donation online, one has to call and talk to a staff member. 

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