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When you died, you said
"At first, you'll feel sad, but then you're gonna be happy about how good it all turns out to be.”
But I haven’t smiled since you left. I never got the answers for the questions I carried with me all my life.
I wish I could look up to the sky and feel you, but it’s all empty.
My thoughts have become a sad song for lonely hearts, and the more I think about it, the more it hurts.
I don’t know where to turn in this world. As I’m facing the darkness,
I don’t know how to carry myself through the pain.
All I know is expressing myself, but you will never be the one who answers.
And with the years, your voice has faded.
Memories of you are fading, as I can’t grasp them due to the pain.
Nothing got better, and it’s not turning into something that shines, like you promised.
I long for serenity, a breath, a break,
a moment apart from the aches.
I long for the embrace and warmth I could feel through your cold shell,
everything I now understand that I didn’t know then.
It’s easy to feel pointless in this little life.
It’s easy to get lost in the pain.
But when I tune in the right frequencies in the hurt, I see your face again.
– ADILR
released September 5, 2025
written and produced by Hampus Andersson
mixed by Jan Goertz
mastered by Andres Klein
artwork by Janu Krohm