There is discussion of what's been on the painting table for us all, the pro's and con's of stripping a bunch of angry  Scotsmen, what is white paint called when it's not white and comes from a pen, is "decent food" at a gaming centre an oxymoron, and whether there is an equivalent to the Merlin app to allow us all to decipher which wargamer is which, simply from the sound of their distant whingeing about bad dice.

Andy's Quiz also returns with a Knopfler-esque "Dire Straits" themed episode - but, fresh from the Barcelona "it's more than a rumour" mill, Grandpa Dave brings us news direct from El Kreator himself that a v5 of ADLG has now reached slightly beyond "vague thought on some future to-do list" to now stand at the "twinkle in El Kreator's eye" stage.. 

..which of course prompts us all to have a good old chunter about what things (as well as folding in the FAQ - of course..) we might look for in the next, still quite-some-way-off edition of L'Art de la Guerre.

What do you think of that..! 

Victrix Spanish in 28mm

• 130 Arab Conquest (Dave)
• 140 Central Asian Turkish (Tim)
• 179 Hindu Indian (Dave, Richard)
• 171 Tang Chinese (Gordon, Andy)

There is also a return for Andy's Quiz ! The podcast is also available on YouTube with video of us chatting away, and the lists are all posted on the ADLG Wiki (which you can visit using the links for each army name above).

There are also diversions into buying rubbish on eBay from Heinz Games (or at least that's what the AI Summary thought we said..), shipping wargaming stuff from the USofA (pre tariffs!), Central London Club's recent enfatuation with two new rule sets, Jackals and Sword Weirdos, and Mark's progress in finishing a whole book on the Khmer (which he's writing, not simply struggling to read.).

There is also talk of commissioning figures, Richard Morgans new SF tome "Thin Air," set on Mars, a bit of Test of Honor as well as Simons upcoming stab at converting Warmaster units and rules to use ADLG's mechanics, which is about to be tried at CLWC in the coming weeks and months. 

Towards the end (in its traditional slot, and with its traditional French Techno soundtrack) Andy's Quiz makes a long overdue reappearance, although sadly sans Andy this week. The quiz covers the theme of hesitant allies, inspired by Andy's recent experience at Burton.

The quiz answers will be released in the next podcast!

We also take in the Worlds Largest Collection of Model Tanks, the current state of play with which 15mm metal casting companies are currently closing down, whether "Paella" is actually just "Rice" with a different postcode, if a War Wagon collapses in the forest can a Swiss Pikeman hear it fall, if anyone has ever seen a bigger chorizo nugget, whether we are all now far too old to understand this 3D printing malarkey, and if double-carbs is the missing link between Glasgow and the entire Iberian peninsula.

The guests on this podcast are Dave "From The Podcast", Dave "Ming the Marxist" and Mark "The FWC Man".

The lists we all used in Alicante can be found on the Madaxeman ADLG Wiki.

• Marks Hungarians
• Tim & Daves Swiss
• Daves French Ordonnance  
• My video of the Cartagena Military Museum

Join me, Dave from The Podcast, Another Dave (technically "the Dave formerly known as Pants"), Jason and Steve as we take you gently down Melksham Way. 

(Apologies in advance for some of the audio - there are a lot of clicks and hisses in one section towards the start. It's been a while so our audio setup was even further away from being describable as "slick", and my editing was even more rusty than has been the case in any of the previous hundred+ amateurish episodes. It's a low bar I know... )

As usual:

• The lists we discuss are available on the Madaxeman website's ADLG Wiki
• The ADLG content starts about 22:45 in, so you can either start, or stop listening then as you choose
• There will be a video version of this on my YouTube channel
• The incidental sad violin music is (perhaps unsurprisngly) "Sad Violin 2", by TheFlyFishingFilmmaker , (License: Attribution 4.0)

 That means there is some sort of analysis of the Ancient Britons, Ostrogoths, Visigoths, Mithradatics, Warring States Chinese and the countless  hordes of Aztecs shoehorned in among some tourism discussions, culinary observations, and insightful exposition about the contents of Spanish motorway service station vending machines - plus the first ever advert break to ever feature on a Madaxeman Podcast!

This whole podcast is also available on the Madaxman YouTube channel where you can see pictures of the lists, some of the games and troops, as well as our tourism and eating exploits too.

The army lists can all be found in the ADLG Wiki on the Madaxeman Website 

In this episode not only do we go through the lists of the top 5 placed 15mm players, we also have 2 of the top 5 in the Podcast "studio" (aka Zoom call) in the erudite shapes of Paul Dawson and Richard Case.

The lists we look at are all available on the Madaxeman website in the ADLG Wiki, and this pod is also available on YouTube with pictures of troops and the lists themselves too:

The list covered are:

• Late Imperial Roman
• Hunnic
• Late Imperial Roman 
• Patrician Roman
• Hunnic

Roman Clibanarii from Forged in Battle.

As such, sound quality is a little sketchy in some parts of this podcast, mainly on account of the fact a number of the individual segments were recorded on my phone in (or outside) various bars and restaurants in the Normandy heartland. 

The battle reports and tourism photos from this trip can all be found on the Madaxeman website and there is also a YouTube video version of this podcast which also includes all of the photos too. 

• Just how much are plastic figures nowadays?
• Who makes the best Byzantines and why is it Aventine?
• Are two packets enough to count as a new range?
• Salute! Where to go, How to get there, What to buy, and most important When to roll up at the door

There's also a taster for the French Competition special edition Podcast coming soon, lots of chat about gaming in the Roman Pond, a 3 month-long 3D printing odessey, the return of the wooden horse, tourism in Caen Castle, the lack of updates for the audio guide to the Bayeux Tapestry, a chat about whether Cataphract Camels can restore your mojo, and we also find out what exactly happened when Don Juan, Admiral Nelson, and Octavia walked into a bar.

As usual, some of the stuff we talk about can also be found on:

• Tamsins Blog
• Madaxeman.com

Despite the absence of any badger-related content, we do manage to cover shopping expeditions (online and in real life), take a diversion into discussing the merits of Siocast/Warlord Resin/"I Can't believe It's Not Called Airfix" plastic figures, get into a bit of Spartacan slap-chop via an azimuth spray disaster, go all Judge Dredd, barely mention cricket nets, explain to Adam what he's been missing all this time as a sidebar to the great "Amos vs Drummer - Who's The Expanse's Greatest Ever Character (and why it's obviously Drummer)" debate, talk about castles in Spain and why the second most successful Berber invasion of the Iberian Peninsula landed in Valencia instead of Alicante, have a peek at Andy's trophy haul and (eventually) learn how he ended up out of pocket after accidentally buying his own birthday presents from his wife.

And there's a return for Andy's Quiz, with a brand new Two Ronnies-style twist this week as we accidentally give you the answers to the questions from the episode before last.

As usual the stuff we talk about can be seen here:

• Tamsin's Blog 
• Spartacus Painted
• Xativa Castle
• Sonic Sledgehammer's YouTube Channel (yep, that's who we meant!)

We cover the usual mix of painting and gaming and this week also have a "show special" shopping discussion as face to face retail activity takes place at two different shows. The bulging bags include many bits of plastic, a shout-out to a drybrush, much inevitable love for Leon and Pendraken, the smell of MDF in the morning, and a startling discovery that Heroics and Ros do in fact have an up-market French perfume retail business operating on the side.

We also have a look-back at Tamsin's PLA (not "resin"!) printing experiment as a handful of us actually get around to de-supportifying and then painting the little plastic-ish blighters as a show and share experiment for the benefit of the wider gaming community. 

Medieval Marginalia also gets a rare but potentially recurrent mention, idiot-proof army lists are debated, and we even find time to talk about playing games before Andy's Quiz once again hoves into full-colour view with a discursive argument about whether being "detained by the Ottoman Sultans" is a legitimate euphemism for deployment pre-watershed before we end with an unexpected plug for the South West's Best AC/DC Tribute Act. 

• Beachhead Tickets
• Tamsins Blog

3D printed Gaul painted by Tamsin

3D printed Greeks painted by Tim 

3D Gaul painted by Andy

Any semblance of order, structure and giving the impression of planning is almost instantly thrown out of the window as we immediately go off tangent in a fascinating discussion around the origin (and ending) of the  entire concept of a Grenadier, before we swerve decisively into some surprisingly well informed opinions about 3D printing, consider whether the long time coming Dire Straits revival will include a remixed Europop single called "Gaming by the Pool", have a vote to decide if the 1980's RPG "Traveller" ever really existed in our stub, try to guess who won the 1936 Eurovision Song Contest, witter on about Contrast paints (again..), and then give a look back to Britcon and a heads-up to the SELWG show.

Of course, Andy's quiz also returns from the mists of time with something equally and typically topical too, aided and abetted by its timeless theme music.

Tamsin's 3D printer we discuss at some length is an Anycubic Kobra, but I've been asked to flag up that it's not necessarily a good one for a beginner - Tamsin instead suggests the Elegoo Neptune 3, or the Anycubic Vyper if you have a bit more bench space available. For both of those she'd recommend replacing the PTFE tubing they come with with Capricorn PTFE tubing (affilate links to Amazon). 

The pictures of some of the stuff we talked about is also online here:

• Tamsin's Blog
• The Madaxeman Blog 

Our journey however thankfully avoids Dave and I duetting with Aretha Franklin and instead takes us through two world wars, a lot of stained glass, several centuries of Frederick Barbarossa's wedding gifting lists, 2 Sherman tanks, a castle on two rivers big enough to hold the entire Walloonian army (and then some), and some totally NUTS Belgian beer that you are served in, and have to drink from a ceramic WW2 US Paratroopers helmet (guess where folks...!).

Then, eventually and somewhat grudgingly we break from the travelogue to discuss playing ADLG in a castle on the Rhine at the recent Braubach tournament, then go on to cover Roll Call, the upcoming ADLG Worlds, go super-deep with some chubby printed 6-10-15mm Etruscans, build lamp-posts for Mega City One, cover ourselves in feathers as we don some Eagle Warrior Onesies with the Aztecs, and of course end by hitting up a Eurovsion-themed version of Andy's Quiz. 

There is also a bit of a gauntlet-laying-down challenge for all of our listener(s) this week. Let's just say that if any of you believe that you have been for a beer in in the ropiest bar in Belgium, well, I'm afraid we have some news for you...

Fortunately this proper content is more than counterbalanced by an episode of World of Wor-Wor-War Sports punditry and analysis as we are joined by Roy Keane, Micah Richards and Alan Hansen to try and predict the winners of the upcoming 15mm ADLG competition at Roll Call 2022. This segment starts around the 55 minute mark, in case you really don't want to hear us talking about painting, or indeed trying our hands at actual proper podcast-like stuff.

Finally, Andy's Quiz return with some answers from the distant past and a topical Russian Naval Disasters-themed set of questions for this week. 

• Tamsin's Speedpaint Test Lab
• Roll Call 2022 Runners & Riders 

This week a 6-handed episode sees extensive coverage of the Painting Challenge, discussion of competitions, restaurants and public houses of all flavours and dimensions in the pseudo-industrial brewing town of Burton Upon Trent, forward-planning of a kind rarely seen outside of a gold spray tan booth online booking system, an almost-ISITYAA discussion of Why DBA is the best ruleset ever written (and a simultaneous demonstration that we very clearly and absolutely don't script any of the rest of this podcast to boot) as well as the usual inane chat, observations about kitchen implement storage solutions, and links to pictures of Japanese soldiery of a 28mm variety.   

There is also an episode of Andy's Quiz, including the answers to the last episodes questions (for those of you old enough to remember it). 

• Tamsins Painting Challenge photos 
• The Coopers Tavern, Burton

We are also joined by a number of special guests, and an even greater number of waitresses who all make a unwitting yet far more meaningful contribution than most of us can manage ourselves - especially after several bottles of red wine at lunchtime.

Heads-up - some of the audio is a bit murky, but you should be able to hear the clinking of wine and beer glasses clearly enough to get the gist of it, even in the bits when the words might get a little lost in the background hubbub. 

This podcast accompanies the Alicante Battle Reports on Madaxeman.com. 

• The Spanish music in this podcast is used under a creative commons license and is from the Watcha Clan. The original track can be found here.

Along the way there's a painting challenge, lots of cold-weather outdoor undercoating, several Samurai excursions, the Kingdom of Benin gets a mention, Perry plastics are yet again lauded to the heavens (Christmas is coming after all..), and a vaguely informed debate as to whether competitions actually have to be competitive to be enjoyable (spoiler alert, the answer is "no").

So, sit back, make sure to keep dipping your brush in the water pot rather than that glass of gently steaming mulled wine, and revel in listening to the 205th most popular hobby podcast in Finland right now !

• Tamsins Blog
• Xyston Generals as Companions
• Brixham Match Reports
• Red3 Miniatures

The end result is a decidedly unscripted second (and first non-ADLG-specific) podcast of a new series, as we compare notes on painting and not painting, discuss how weird it is to go to a show again (SELWG), engage in a pretty piratey Andy's Quiz and see a welcome return for Micah Richards and the World of Wor-Wor-WarSports as we preview part of the upcoming Devonian Classic competition next weekend and try and predict the winners of the 25mm pool in a more random than random sort of way.

• Refurbished Medievals in 15mm 
• Tamsin's SELWG Demo Games report
• Tamsin's Jungle Terrain 
• The God's Own Scale Podcast Site

The event was themed into 3 separate pools : Biblical, armies with Steppe terrain, and Sub Zero (pre 0AD) and so we have a very eclectic group of lists to share and discuss in this podcast: Hittites and Assyrians, Parthians and Abbasids, and Later Persians and Ptolemaic Successors. 

The lists all are reproduced on the Madaxeman ADLG Wiki so you can read them at your leisure, or read along as you listen.

As usual this podcast is also being published on the Madaxeman YouTube Channel with pictures of some vaguely relevant figures and more importantly frequent appearances of all of the lists as well.  

This segment was originally published at the start of 2021, probably when we were all working under some sort of lockdown scenario, and addresses head-on the vexed issue of whether modern gaming and modelling paint ranges have just gone too goddam far, and instead puts forward the entirely reasonable proposition that we should all simply go back to the halcyon days when the Humbrol range of enamels was the be all and end all of painting toy soldiers, and further expounds the theory that we would all be far happier if someone important just drew a big fat Gloss 208 Day-glo Green line under any further paint-based development shenanigans going forward.

As well as this recycling initiative, there are actually some other new podcast episodes in gestation - a list pod is in production as we speak, and there are mutterings and vague talk of restarting the full team pod in a few weeks as well, most probably with some World of War-War-War Sports punditry and predictions on upcoming tournaments.

But in the meantime, a bit like finding an open petrol station, then realising that it only has LPG in stock, this is about as good as it is going to get for this week I'm afraid ... 

This 30 minute snippet of Madaxeman Podcast is an ideal way to brighten your already sunny day (between showers), and this time around features an ISITYAA from way back in March of this year in which Adam takes on the vexed subject of why anyone who comes out with the hoary old line of "The Hobby is Greying, And we need to do something about it!" actually needs to get right back in their box (ideally quite quickly, as otherwise Adam may assist them in an overly proactive manner). 

Look out for more ISITYAA repeats in the coming weeks!

In this week's episode we push the boundaries of the wargaming/tropical arboriculture sub-genre to the max with an other extended session of In The Jungle with Tamsin, a smidgeon of painting gets done, the relative merits of the two key brands of non-local chip shops in the North of England are decided, the A1 roadside phenomenon is revived and marvelled at again, Adam has a good old rant about the nonsense of the Longbow in I'm Sorry I Think You're An Arse, many, many games are discussed - some of which are also tastefully censored to avoid giving away too much information to the enemy - and Andy's Quiz returns from the depths of Time with some Eboracum-themed answers, a new set of questions, and in a "we can't keep you waiting until September" splurge of generosity, you even get the answers to this week's questions after the closing credits. 

We'll be back in the Autumn with this sort of nonsense, but watch out for one-offs and (possibly) some "Greatest Hits" special episodes (aka repeats of the funnier ISITYAA segments, shamelessly thrown out there as stand-alone podcasts) over the next few months of Summer 2021. 

• Birdsong Audio from Squashy 555, used under Creative Commons license 
• Trees, 'faarsands of 'em sir! on Tamsin's Blog

The lists covered are Thracian and Late Roman, together with the top 3 placed lists, Bosporan, Parthian and Nobades.

This podcast is also available in video format on the Madaxeman YouTube Channel, and a series of 5 battle reports featuring the Thracians is online on Madaxeman.com

All of the lists are also on the ADLG Wiki 

That means a bit of black dot madness creeps in, football strips as heraldry get debated, there is a lengthy diversion into how many bananas can you fit in a 2-foot square terrain tile, Dixons 15mm Marlburians get a quick review, Mirliton's 15mm Communist Italians are sprayed and glued together, and the logic of reviving Hard-Fi's career through small scale modelling is briefly considered and discarded in a short section in which we all pay libations to Vallejo, the Greek God Of Paint Colours.

More importantly at around the 44 minute mark we dive headlong into the world of sports broadcasting with World of War-war-war-Sports, a pundits-eye-view of the runners and riders from the UK's first real post-lockdown ADLG v4 competition in York this coming weekend. We go through the field, and pick the group stage winners and them simulate our way to the very final itself all without the aid of VAR, but with the aid of special guest Micah Richards calling in from table-side.  

The episode rounds off with Andy's Quiz, this week on the topical topic of York. 

(Next week might well be our last Lockdown 21 podcast before we all take a well deserved summer hiatus, but watch out for some live, in-the-field specials coming out over the summer months.)

• Everest Models on eBay - Banana Trees that work!
• Communal Italians on Tagmata.it
• Sports background music as used under Creative Commons Attributional license 

Our Pool-based draw for the York competition:

Group 1 1. Dave Handley   Early Arab  2. Dave Ruddock    Armenian  3. Dave Allan      Parthian 4. Bob Amey      Palmyan 5. Nik Sharp    Meroitic Kushite 6. Gordon Jamieson  Caledonian 7. Bob Middlemist  Carthaginian 8. David Roberts   Middle Imperial Roman 9. Graeme Carroll Sassanid Persian Group 2 1. Robert Taylor  Palmyran 2. Julian Lopez  Blemmyes/Nobatoes 3. Bill Robertson  Slave Revolt 4. Richard Case   Bosporan 5. Tim Porter      Thracian 6. Andrew Ellis   Early Imperial Roman 7. Alan Cutner  Aramean 8. Dave Saunders Late Imperial Roman 9. Robin Jackson  Ancient Spanish Group 3 1. Adrian Steer Republican Roman 2. Marco Baroni    Ancient British 3. David Finnigan Triumvirate Roman 4. John Hogan     Carthaginian 5. Ferdie       Mithraditic 6. Chris Tofalos  Ptolemaic 7. Chris Proudfoot Aramean 8. Jesse Schoor   Mithraditic 9. Tony Robinson  Judean Jewish Group 4 1. Hunter Hope   Meroitic Kushite 2. A Late Entry with Romans  3. Kevin Johnson   Selucid 4. Stephen Nice   Early Imperial Roman 5. Hugh Cameron  Parthian 6. Charles Gronau  Middle Imperial Roman 7. Paul Dawson  Late Imperial Roman 8. Mike Bennett   Sassanid Persian

Part of the reason for that burst of unexpected normality is due to an unplanned but intriguing discussion about when and how we all outed ourselves as wargamers to our colleagues at work.

Following that, normal service is quickly resumed as we start to consider if a YouTube channel devoted to road-testing kitchen blenders for their ability to chop up car-wash sponges is a viable commercial proposition, if painting just three 10mm figures in a fortnight is something anyone would be prepared to admit, how Watford Gap Services is muscling in on eBay as the premium marketplace for sale of second hand wargames figures and if pizza making is an integral part of the gaming pantheon.

There is also a whole new episode of I'm Sorry I think You're An Arse! this week in which the proposition that the Achaemenid Persians were just so crap they deserve to be wiped from the slate of wargaming history is carefully considered and eruditely discussed, followed by a spot of actual gaming-experienced-based assessment of ADLGv4 so far. 

Finally Andy's Quiz hoves into view yet again, and attempts to deploy three new questions which are vaguely topical when the pod comes out but which in 2 week's time will no doubt feel as relevant as a discussion around the Eurovision Song Contest results would do today.

• Tamsin's Blog
• Clive's Stuff on eBay
• Watford Gap Southbound

In a limited palette of painting this week Tamsin goes totally herbal in the hillsides, Dave chunters on about the Franks for the 600th week in a row, Simon finally cracks and joins the Perry Medieval Plastic Tribe, Peter discovers that Red is the new Gold, Adam thinks carefully about meeting strangers in a warehouse late one evening, Andy finds a hole to drive into and I end my decades-long addiction to Testors Dullcote in dramatic style.

The "What did you play this week?" section focuses on our first tentative steps with ADLG v4 in the real world against real opponents as we try out some of the theory from the previous episode and stress test it against harsh reality, and Andy's Quiz of course returns with a highly topical (if this had come out last Sunday) Eurovision-themed Italian Heavy Metal special. 

(Adam was having audio issues this week, so apologies in advance for the iffy sound quality from his microphone)

• Tamsin's Hills 
• The Dullcote Tweet  
• Love for the Podcast from @GodsOwnScale

There is also a little bit of chat about painting, a diversion into why buying 1/300th forests from Dunelm off the back of  spurious text-based recommendations on Twitter from complete strangers is sometimes a bad idea, why Germans tend to look less boring after they have had a wash (especially little ones), and a rather impressive foray into why making your own rocks is far better than just, erm, picking them up off of the floor. We also have time to squeeze in a spaced out version of Andy's Quiz notable mostly for the fact that Syphilis is a potential answer to every single question.

But, it's the V4 stuff you're probably here for - so press "play" and let's get on with the business... 

• v4 Changes on madaxeman.com
• Tamsins Blog 
• The Devonian Classic - Play ADLGv4 in Devon this coming November
• Ambient Space noises from Jovica and univ_lyon_3 used under Creative Commons licensing

These Arab-led, Christian-featuring armies of pre-reconquista Spain bring a whole load of new options to the ADLG  tabletop, with both existing and brand new troop types to conjure with - and, of course, the classic Strategist El Cid. 

We were lucky enough to be granted a pre-release view of this list, allowing us to record this podcast before we had our stickly little hands on the V4 rulebook so myself and my usual Army List guests Dave and Richard were able to bring you our thoughts only moments after the V4 book hits our doorsteps - with the caveat that we were slightly guessing at how some of the new troop types would actually work in practice!

The usual mix of list, history and figure choice all form a part of this, our first V4 Army List Podcast, and as usual the lists are available on the ADLG Wiki on Madaxeman.com 

Things kick off with a Victrix Hanomag House of Horror, segwaying neatly into Stug Life to keep the tiny WW2 theme alive. The exciting side of Swiss colours get discussed (erm.. red and white?) just before we venture into the murky undergrowth of "is that your Perry-provided flag or are you just not pleased to see me?".

There is a vivid demonstration of Army Painter Varnish Mid-life Murk (and Are We Over It Now?), we get down and dirty with the German trousers, wonder if there is any difference between Artizan and Crusader, and all do a little summertime almost morris-men-like dance with the Hopping Pararoopers.

We then dive right into the interview with Herve published on No Dice No Glory and try and pick apart the new rules and troop types he mentions for ADLG v4 as we all wait furiously for it to clear customs. The new lists also get a superficial scan over, and we are all extremely excited about the prospects for the Viagra Kingdom and the new Scouse Kingdoms army lists. 

With so much ADLG v4 chat there is no ISITYAA this week, but there is Andy's Quiz, and it's music - and the tumbleweed sound effect also gets another outing as well. 

• Tamsin's Polish Paras
• Tamsins US Paras
• Tims Thracians

There is also a timely episode of I'm Sorry I Think You're an Arse in which the team debate the question as to whether the entire American Civil War was just a load of old nonsense, and if the entire conflict should instead now be expunged from the wargaming canon, and of course we wrap up with another regular visit to the seemingly decreasingly onanistically-themed world of Andy's Quiz 

• US Paras on Tamsins Blog
• Success of US Civil War Commanders correlated with Facial Hair
• Wallpapered Sparabara

Even so we manage to ramble on close to the 2 hour mark with an episode that features yet more analysis of 6mm ACW hat bandings, octagonal basing for paratroopers, hoplite madness, ship construction, glue debates, and in which we again all ask ourselves "Museum's Z-range - are they just too detailed for mere mortals to paint?" 

This week an enormous amount of time is also consumed by ISITYAA, our "increasingly challenging to remain tongue in cheek" regular feature which this week features Adam in the chair telling us why he thinks Wargaming Shows should be consigned to the dustbin of history (and explaining why it's technically accurate but still not entirely fair to call him a moth##-###ker in the process).

Andy's Quiz returns with a gallic duopoly of topcs, and we also have a quick shufti at the "announced by Tuesday evening" changes for ADLG v4 (which takes place at about 1:28:30 into the pod in case that's all you are interested in!)

As usual we conjure up a variety of quite different lists, all of which manage to extract very different and intriguing play styles and approaches from what initially seemed the slim pickings of these later lists.

We also skip through the history of the region, consider whether these armies might be viable in open play, and debate if the addition of the Conquistador command to the Texcallans imbalances a pure Meso-American competion army pool.

In a brand new (and I suspect unique) tie-in, some of this week's list are also not only available to view on the Madaxeman Wiki, they are also available to buy in the form of ready-made, discounted army packs from UK-based manufacturer Fighting 15's. 

Yes, hear the discussion then - if you like what you hear - there's now a simple one-click way for you to pick up 4 of the lists we cover all for under £40 a pop for 128 figures (thats just 31p each for those of you who don't like taking off your socks this early in the year!)

The list we cover this week are:  

• Aztec x2
• Texcallan x2
• Zapotec/Mixtec
• Chinantec
• Mayan x2

You can see the Fighting 15's ADLG Army Packs featuring lists from this Podcast right here on their website , or just browse Fighting 15's Aztecs & Enemies ranges 

Meanwhile the hussar-wing-glue debacle rolls on, an accidental company-level purchase of WW2 Artizan Designs paratroops somehow seems to happen without conscious human intervention, the Perry Twins make another £20 from us all with those black-undercoated medieval horsemen, Pitshanger Lane gets a double visitation, Dave's Magic Drawer of Left-Over Xyston Wonderment makes an initial bid for it's own theme tune and dedicated in-pod feature, Museum's Z-range get close enough to lose a little bit of detail and a flurry of Macedonians hit their bases at various points alongside the M40 elevated section.

In between this excitement we somehow manage also to fit in a quick session of "What are you hoping to find in ADLG v4 Santa's sack this Easter?", an episode of ISITYAA in which the venerable Humbrol Paint tin is proposed as the one and only true solution to the modern wargaming worlds slow subsumation into the iron grip of grasping corporate interest, and Andy's Quiz seeks to pull itself away from it's recent teenage obsessions with a whole new set of questions (and answers) for your delight and delectation.   

Atlatl pronunciation debates occupy us all briefly, as does the entire engineering and strategic developmental back story of the Japanese Navy in a single book. That then inexorably takes us through to finding out why the book "D-Day through German Eyes" is actually a complete scam from start to finish before we look at Museum Z-scuplt cavalry, and whether their Noddy hats all need to be painted red.

A 10mm Barons War-full of figures offered via kickstarter gets its' first-view, Wallenstein is broght back from the grave to cast his unevenly beady eyed at us all, there is a timely Podcast Team Vaccine Update, and in the smaller scales the best Vallejo options for ACW limbers are compared to the original soot and ochre.

Adam then yet again helms an occasionally almost-proper-discussion (but still mostly "offensive rant") ISITYAA this week, looking at the tricky topic of competition wargames, and more specifically explaining his theory that curing a few bad eggs (OK, getting a few bad eggs to follow his forthright and robust advice) would rehabilitate the image of the genre, or whether this idea, much like the idea of a cured egg, is just inherently whiffy.

There is a little more O-Group chat, some more ADLG:R feedback, an another obliquely onanistic theme tugs at the heartstrings in the return of Andy's Quiz. 

• Vallejo's Black & White Paint Set on Amazon
• Kaigun - The Japanese Navy book
• Wallenstein - weirdly animated 
• Museum Z-range Pseudo-Thracians

The Bulgars were both enemies and allies of Byzantium in the near-ceaseless wars and feuds which swept across the Balkans in the period from roughly 600-1100AD.  In this Army List Building Podcast we look at both the Bulgar and the Nikeforian Byzantine army lists, and myself, Dave and Richard put forward three very different approaches to constructing, deploying and then using each of these lists to create varied and viable L'Art de La Guerre V3 army lists based on the historical forces of each of these military powers. 

As usual we also cover a brief bit of the history of these two competing empires, and chat about how to go about your figure purchases to help you on your way to successfully adding either (or both) of these two armies to your own collection.

This podcast is also available on YouTube, with loads of pictures of relevant figures.

All of the lists featured in the Podcast are also available on the ADLG Wiki on Madaxeman.com

You can also search for suitable figures on the 15mm Gallery on Madaxeman.com

Making a fast start with an electrifying discussion on how best to wire an shock-giving glow-in-the-dark rat wheel we move seamlessly onto a segment about the fraught subject of mast erection glue strategies in which Warlord Games somewhat unusual Victory at Sea ship-basing conventions are critiqued and compared to wake-less alternatives.

The Biblical era then gets a proper look in as we debate whether there are really only 3 different biblical armies, and how easily can they be morphed into one another - and if it's possible to successfully ship the right lead for any or all of them in from the USA post-Brexit. Inevitably both Vic Reeves and Bob Marley both pop up here, as someone mentions the Uratu and Uvavu Dynasties in a segway to much Biblical Dub Reggae goodness.

Baccus 6mm (is that a scale...? Ed) American Civil War figures are then drooled over, as we all carefully consider whether The Band's Robbie Robertson was actually the prototype for one of the more hirsute Baccus ACW General figures. 

Then things go a little off the rails as we all have a long run up at pronouncing "Tlaxcallan" and consider whether buying an Aztec or Inca army is something any wargamer simply needs to do before they die (and whether it's possible to do so for less than the price of a new car).

With three purchasers around the microphone we also have an initial shufti at the new "O-Group" rules and cough up some first-look feedback on what seems to be (so far) a promising development in WW2 battallion-level gaming.

The episode then moves into full steam ahead mode as Adam yet again returns to the chair in I'm Sorry I Think You're An Arse to put forth his latest theories on why anyone who says "the hobby is greying, we need to do something about it" actually needs to get right back in their box (ideally quite quickly, as otherwise Adam may assist them in an overly proactive manner). 

Finally we of course round things off with a happy ending in Andy's Quiz as, paying tribute to another podcast's frequent and enthusiastic one-handed embrace of a ruleset-specific onanistic double-entendre, Andy treats us all to a trio of questions on the carefully-enunciated subject of "Pulling Rank". 

• Ian Heath's Aztec & Other Armies
• Sat July 31/Aug 1st - ADLG event at Entoyment in Bourneouth/Poole - 15mm & 25mm, more details to come soon!
• Tamsin's Blog - 6mm AWC
• Devon Self Catering Holidays 
• Fighting 15's Meso-American Army Packs

Normal service is resumed however when we get onto the topic of identifying suspicious badgers when they are in ambush, in a section in which Adam uses his newfound knowledge of honey badgers to make his pitch to replace David Attenborough in the BBC presenter roster. We also discuss gearing up for competitions again, how to buy cycle wheels succesfully, whether "Tirpitzness" is best as an adjective or an adverb, and how to paint eyes on small scale figures. 

In our regular features this week I'm Sorry I Think You're an Arse features a fully motivated Adam as he approaches the delicate subject of "wargames figure scales" with much the same finesse as a WW2-vintage M16 quad 20mm AA half track brings to the art of making an omlette..

The aftermath then leaves Andy's Quiz somewhat floundering as a quivering wreck on the floor, with Andy barely capable of coming up with a subject matter for this week's question. Instead he simply mutters the gnomic phrase "Words" before sloping off back into his techno dungeon in the heart of the French undergound Le Disco scene once again.

• Cheating with painting Tartan
• Kujo's Blog Video - Painting Tartan 
• Honey Badgers - They Don't Care

We also visit the drive-through and order a skeleton-bone mocha from Starbucks, the American Civil War Painting Catastrophe Waitress flirts with us all, we risk everything by entering into a pretty heavy covenant at a "Shield Reveal" party, reanimate the debate as to whether underfloor heating (rather than roads, or wine) was Rome's greatest legacy to the world, then there is a quite disturbing session in which we all wave our ball bearings at Adam, the recipe of the week this week is that old favourite, Essex Spaghetti, and it's time to saddle up and go all Lock-stock-and-two-smoking-barrels-down crazy as we tune into a new crime series, The Rise of the Sarf London 'Oplite Gang (to you chief) before finally Admiral Disco (or should that be "Le Disco" ?) makes an unwelcome appearance in Andy's Quiz

• Get your own Mega Mega Paint Shaker !
• Dan Beattie's Brandy Station Osprey book

(these are affiliate links - buy stuff through them and I get a teeny little kickback)

That high point is quickly left behind though, with a delve into the prevalence of camels in early medieval England, considerations as to whether glue that doesn't stick is worth buying, a treatise on the economics of rescuing semi-dried paint tins, a tip-toe into unattributed US Paratrooper formations of the Indian Ocean periphery, a heated argument as to whether Skeleton Bone is the best colour for painting skeleton's bones, a chat about self-impaling techniques for both metal and plastic spears gets quickly spiked before we look into the idea of permanent rebasing as a way of life and finally round things off with a slipper-based bout of personal introspection interrupted only by a short diversion in which we bounce some small rocks and stones off of Peter's Gorilla-glued together hair helmet. 

We also have a surprisingly lengthy conversation where we try (with partial success) to tease the meaning out of the last two paragraphs on page 58 of the L'Art de la Guerre rulebook before diving straight into our by-now two regular features, Andy's Quiz and I'm Sorry, I Think You're an Arse

Tamsin's book recommendations:

• The Path of Infinite Sorrow - The Japanese on the Kokoda Trail
• D-Day New Guinea: The Extraordinary Story of the Battle for Lae and the Greatest Combined Airborne and Amphibious Operation of the Pacific War

(both are affilate links, so I get a small kickback from Amazon if you buy anything after clicking them) 

These two very different lists bring some astoundingly chalk and cheese-like capabillities to the tabletop. The headlong aggression of the Crusading knights in the Later Crusader list is tempered by the solidity of their stoic spear and crossbow-armed infantry, while the forces of Saladin can easily make full use of the entire width (and depth) of the playing surface with clouds of fast moving horse archers which serve to harass the enemy whilst always hiding the potential for a rapier-like counter-thrust from their wild Berber lancers. 

As is now habitual we also trot through the history of these armies, consider what to look for when undertaking a campaign of figure purchasing to assemble them in 15mm, and wrap this all up neatly around a discussion of how to design, deploy and use 6 very different lists (3 Later Crusader, 3 Ayyubid) from this intriguing historical diptych.

All 6 of the lists discussed are available on the Madaxeman ADLG Wiki, and this podcast can also be viewed on YouTube where you will be able to see the lists as we discuss them as well as a carousel of potentially relevant figures too. 

• Later Crusader
• Ayyubid Egyptian

Padding out the timeline more than most features is a sometimes insightful but often meandering chat in which we all discuss how the concept of morale has evolved during our wargaming lifetimes from it's literal beginnings to its mostly abstracted present expression.

A whole new theme tune also hits the airwaves and heralds the debut of "I'm Sorry I Think You're an Arse!"

Dubbed "the antidote to informed discussion", this new regular feature will see one of the regular team putting forward a proposal to fix something which has been bugging them in the wargaming ecosystem for ages, after which the other panellists sometimes-brutally pick the theory apart, and decide whether there is indeed a a case that the correct response to the proposal is a polite but firm "I'm Sorry, I Think You're an Arse!" 

Of course there is painting chat-plenty too, with the Osmonds nearly getting a rare namecheck as we talk about Tiny Horses, the Ottomaniazation of artillery carries on apace, Winged Hussars appear in such countless multitudes that a murmuration of Hussars becomes a distinct possibility, a quick spot of "Is that a catcus on your head or are you just the punchline to a joke we haven't worked out yet?" happens, an excitingly erudite internet-fuelled dive into analyzing the difference between frilly epaulettes, piratey parrots and just a bit of flash fills some time, and we chill to the thought of dope smoking musketeers in the Battle of the Boyne, go green at the thought of a load more 10mm WW2 goodness and, of course, there is Andy's Quiz.

This week also features a pretty solid post-credits blooper roll or two, so whether you listen to the end or just skim through it, we will still end on a high note!

• 10mm WW2 British
• Epaulets on Spotify
• Dutch Police 
• Hussar!

"Nice beret sir!"

In this Army List Building Podcast the regular team try and pick the juicy bits out of these two L'Art de la Guerre army lists 98 & 99, and in the process manage to come up with surprisingly varied set of approaches to help make viable and interesting lists from these oft-overlooked historical classics. 

We also take a quick jaunt through the history of the period, discuss the merits of the individual troop types which make them up, and speculate on why the lists have been organised as they are in the book. 

The army lists in this Podcast all appear on the Madaxeman website in the ADLG Wiki, and a video version of the podcast is also available on the Madaxeman YouTube channel complete with photos of relevant 15mm figures.

This week's range of eclectic topics cover the full gamut of land, sea and air (but without air) as we discuss whether anyone has actually played Cruel Seas more than once, decide if Victrix' Shermans might not actually be "too good", take great care when Googling for "flocking videos", plug ourselves firmly into the debate as to which static grass is best for low voltage application, run out of entirely new ways to spell Landsnechts, try to avoid rejoicing too obviously that Tamsin is getting back on the painting hobby horse, debate whether Baccus 6mm ACW are more detailed than Warlord's 13.5mm troopers, go back in time to an era before spray cans existed, build a fully functioning cowboy village out of purple teddy bear fur, and try to teach a number of relatively small children just how life affirming immersing oneself fully in a bath of pro-Polish Swedish death metal can prove to be in later life.

• Sabaton - Winged Hussars
• Little ships on Madaxeman
• Luke Towan's terrain channel on YouTube
• Geek Gaming Scenics on YouTube

Will it be massed longbowmen who come out on top, or will the flower of French Chivalry (and Joan d'Arc) catch the list-makers eye as we delve deep into how to make these armies into not only Crecy-winners but proper world-beaters as well.

There are 7 different lists going under the microsocope this week, all of which as usual can be found in the Madaxeman  ADLG Wiki and also on the accompanying YouTube video which has plenty of pictures of figures as well. 

We also delve into the history around these armies at this pivotal point in the creation of both France and England. 

The game's afoot: Follow your spirit, and upon this charge Cry ‘God for Harry, England, and Saint George!’ (King Henry, Act 3 Scene 1)

There is of course also Andy's Quiz, and, more importantly, Andy's Quiz Music as well 

• German Cammo Painting
• Cyrus Mobile Towers 
• Dave's Instagram 
• Leave feedback for us on iTunes
• Shop for Microsol & Microset on Amazon UK
• Shop for Hobgoblin beers on Amazon UK  
• Shop for Spitfire beers on Amazon UK
  • (these three are affiliate links)-

Fear not however - in the 6 weeks since December 11th (when the last Lockdown Pod was published) the intrepid 7 have gained absolutely nothing in terms of insight, polish, erudition or knowledge worth sharing, and so this landmark 60th episode of the Madaxeman Podcast carries on pretty much exactly where the last one left off.

In this week's new year smorgasbord of wargaming irrelevance we share the shocking truth about Lord Cadbury's little-known role as Charlton Heston's stunt double during the Spanish Reconquista, speculate on how much more popular chess might be if only someone would increase the "luck" element of the game, reveal the surprisingly shallow depths of knowledge we all possess in relation to South American riverine warfare in the 19th Century, debate whether the Landesnechts dressmaker used an Excel spreadsheet, and - most importantly - talk at quite some length indeed about Yorkshire Puddings.

There is also the return of Andy's Quiz, including some month-old answers and some fresh new questions, the regular painting and gaming chit-chat, and a well-worth-waiting-for "out-take" to listen to after the credits roll. 

We're here every week - until someone lets us out. 

• Dredd vs Death on Wargaming Girl 
• 15mm Hoplites and stuff on Madaxeman

But despite that historic success the Justinians are often overlooked, especially when set against other, later Byzantine lists which can be stuffed with many more interesting wargamer-friendly exotic troop types! This video podcast seeks to redress that balance a little, digging into what on the surface can look like the slim pickings of choice in the Justinian list. 

As usual I'm joined by Richard and Dave as we look at 4 separate Justinian lists, all quite different in their utilization and design, as well as delving into the military history of this "last of the Romans" army before finally taking a quick trot through the many different options for buying the right figures to build your own army on the tabletop. 

This podcast is also available as a video podcast with images of Byzantine figures on the Madaxeman YouTube Channel, and there is also a pre-set battle featuring two of the lists available on Tabletop Simulator that you and a friend can play them against each other and compare them in action yourself! 

The lists featured in this video can be found on the Madaxeman ADLG Wiki.

The legendary Legions provide a powerful core to the army, but the relative paucity of support troops and the seemingly unavoidable need to go infantry-first in any design can make these challenging lists to construct and play with succesfully.

This ADLG listbuilding podcast helps you face that challenge head-on as I'm joined again by Dave Saunders & Richard Case to look at 3 different ways of constructing, deploying and playing each of these two lists, as well as having a quick canter through a bit of their history as well.

All 6 lists are posted on the ADLG Wiki on Madaxeman.com, and the video version on YouTube also features loads of photos of Roman figures in 15mm from the Madaxeman Photo Gallery.

This ADLG Listbuilding Podcast seeks to pan for gold amongst the broken pottery shards of Greek military history, and in so doing possibly tease out a few different ways of cooking up interesting and viable Hoplite-led army lists to use when playing ADLG in the Classical era.

Regular contributors Dave & Richard are here to take up the challenge as we set ourselves the task of building an array of different lists, all featuring a minimum of 12 Classical-era Hoplites, as well as discussing a bit of the history (real and "ancients-gaming") of the archetypal Hellenistic warrior.

This video is also available as a Video podcast (with pictures of figures) on the Madaxeman YouTube Channel.

(Museum Miniatures 15mm Hoplites from the Madaxeman Photo Gallery)

This Madaxeman List Building Podcast, with regular contributors Dave & Richard, looks into whether it is possible to blow that set of cliches wide open, helping you pull together a number of different, interesting Indian lists, and discussing how to use them to play proactively on the tabletop under ADLG rules.

The team also discuss a bit of history behind these lists, and talk about some of the places you can buy relevant figures in 15mm

This Podcast also exists as YouTube video with loads of photos of Indian figures.

This week the intrepid band of coughing witterers open a suitably disappointing set of conversational presents from under the podcast tree. The surprise packages include The (literal) Army of Cheese, whether running machines with ashtrays were ever a thing (outside of that one episode of Minder), if faking malingering illness could become the next competition circuit, just how dangerous is electrostatic wet grass, does it really count if you buy a whole army by accident, the fall of the Damned Dynasty, how much gravy should you have when taking Sunday lunch with the Pub Landlord, who wants a tank gift, and (in what could end up being a new gameshow segment) Who's Gaff Is It Anyway?

On the Festive theme, we also recommend for you over the next few weeks:

• Other Podcasts to listen to
• Computer Games to maybe buy at Christmas 
• Which websites are managing to survive in the age of Facebook & Twitter 

This week Andy's Quiz is also all about Going Down - a rare double-entendre in the only gaming-themed podcast that still manages to ease gently into all of those crevices.

We'll be taking a break now until the new year (unless we all get really bored once London gets put in Tier 3), but watch out for a random smattering of army-themed secials on Podbean and YouTube which may yet emerge from between the sprout-stained pages of the Radio Times over the next couple of weeks.

In the pod we chat a bit about the history of the Seleucid dynasty, why they seemed to end up with quite such a good collection of toys in their armies, and then consider as many as 8 different options for putting the list together.

Unfortunately we did have some recording issues with this one, so the sound is a bit spotty in places and it also ends a bit abruptly, but there's still plenty of list-building chat and playstyle suggestions for you to get your teeth into and help you get your own top- of- the-line Successor army onto the table. 

This podcast also has a video version to watch on the Madaxeman YouTube Channel.

There's also a quick diversion into airbrushing, a cough-assessment section (no, not like that..), a fairly comprehensive listing of those world museums displaying collections of "stand alone" military legs, many admissions of accidental purchasing, and a lengthy almost-feature on how to make an old rusty skip look like an old rusty skip using hairspray and fake rubble. 

• The Rusty Skip Tutorial on Tamsin's Blog
• 15mm Figure Prices downloadable pdf
• 25/28mm Figure Prices downloadable pdf
•  

As well as enticing talk of flocking and slathering on gritty emulsions there is a potentially dangerous liason with the entire concept of Assyrian Relief, a rare and unusual mention for Nigella Lawson, further consideration as to whether size actually isn't everything when it comes to tiny toy tanks, a diverting foray into YMCA with the Imperial Roman Artillery Corps before ending with a bit of "oh la lah" to the Sound of Music in Andy's Quiz.

This weeks episode also comes with a mini-video teaser snippet, which can be accessed on the Madaxeman Video Channel

*  Apart from Tamsin, of course. 

As well as all this nonsense we even have time to fit in a lengthy and lateral-thinking discussion of a topic that most other wargames podcasts covered several weeks ago - Are Big Battles a Thing of the Past? 

Next week we aim to raise the bar even higher (although our aperture will probably remain unchanged at 0.2mm) with a chat about basing techniques.

This week the topics covered include a far deeper delve into the world of miniature trowels than many independent observers thought possible, contemporary fashion trends in Wurttemburger collars and cuffs, the use of biological agents as strippers, how discounts at Victrix can cost more than they save, whether 8 units of legionaries are too many, what might happen if the Franks are ever finished and if the world is truly ready for painted badger shields in 15mm.

In addition, this week's episode includes an "in memoriam" section in which we share stories of our CLWC clubmate and long-time wargamer Clive McLeod, who sadly passed away last week at the too-early age of 64. Clive's family have suggested the British Heart Foundation as a suitable charity for those of you who knew Clive and may wish to make a charitable donation in his memory.

• British Heart Foundation Donations page 
• Tamsin's 15mm "Infamy Infamy" Leaders
• 28mm Arab Cavalry on Madaxeman.com
• Get 20% off everything at Victrix by ordering using this link

In between these vitally important topics we also cover the ethics of using an elephant brush on a horses' ass, how to wargame the long-awaited Schwarzenegger-Dredd crossover movie, how Dave blagged his way into UCL by claiming to speak fluent Barkerese, we hand out some freebies from Martin at Vexillia, and finally the much-trailed Australian Love Egg expose is, erm, exposed.

Welcome back to Lockdown - especially as you do now know that you have got nothing better to do than listen to this podcast whilst painting figures that you'll not deploy until next Spring. 

Links to items mentioned in the Pod (available on the Madaxeman Podbean page)

• The Black Guard on Madaxeman
• Urban Carnage on Wargaming Girl 
• Dave's Late Romans on Instagram
• Armies & Enemies of Imperial Rome on eBay (affiliate link)
• Charlemagne in the THS universe

There is also a freebie on offer this week courtesy of Martin at Vexillia. The question is embedded in the podcast somewhere, so if you manage to make it that far (and know the answer..) please send in your answer to podcast@madaxeman.com for a chance to win a great set of game tokens posted to you free, wherever you are in the world!

• The NTNOCN Hi-Fi Shop sketch
• Tamsin's week of painting
• Madaxeman Video battle report

Those Books on the Wurttembergers

• Fearless and Loyal: A History of the Wurttemberg Army 1792 - 1815 (David Zumsteg)
• Swords around a Throne (John R. R. Elting)
• With Eagles to Glory (Gill John H)

(These 3 are Affiliate links. If you click them and buy something I get a teeny kickback from Amazon)

This episode sees all 7 regular contributors Zooming in, with an increasingly un-rare unplanned guest appearance from Mrs Andy yet again stealing the show early doors. As well as a gallop through everyone's painting achievements, we attempt to dip a disconcertingly long toe into the garlic-infused pond-water that makes up the Bataille Empire ruleset, and of course there is a return for yet another innuendo-laden episode of Andy's Quiz. 

In an effort to ease you back in gently this episode only runs to just over an hour - there will be more next week... 

• Tamsin's Blog
• Dave on Instagram
• Arabs on the Madaxeman Blog
• Andy vs Tim on Youtube

The regular "What did you paint last week" morphs seamlessly into "You've painted how much in the last 20 weeks !!??" , Teaching Timmy About Napoleonics goes all Abba and hits the giddy heights of the most coveted piece of terrain in wargames history (the Airfix Waterloo Farmhouse),  our session on actual gaming includes some, erm, actual face to face, historically accurate re-enactment type gaming, and Andy's Quiz attempts to run for longer than the long march back from Moscow in a (mercifully-edited-down) special recapping the whole of the Napoleonic Wars.

There is also a poem, an army list discussion about a list that at least one of us has actually used before in a real competition, there are theme-tunes galore and of course some post-credits out-takes and audio easter eggs.

Yes, a fitting endcap to this 20-week run of weekly podcast specials.

We will be back... but we all need a few weeks rest first! 

• The Lists 

Mixed in amongst the usual melange of gaming- and painting-themed content the happy podcastonaughts today ponder whether it is fair to say that nude badgers are indeed living the dream, whether any 8th century axe-makers would have considered advertising through shirt sponsorship, if glueing a vibrating love egg into the two halves of a 28mm plastic horse is good for helping them not fall over on the tabletop, how many hussars would have taken part if McMafia had been filmed in Paris rather than London, if Ulrikakakaka Johnsson would have made a better chariot runner or charioteer archer, and whether El Dorado hops are actually a real thing or just a cunning ruse to make wannabe hipsters pay double price for a can of Stella Artois with a funny label stuck on it.

• Tamsin's Dredd figures this week
• The Podcast Army Lists Uratu and Ugaritic 

In this week's episode consideration is given to how to choose the best filling for an LBMS transfer sandwich, we ask the vital question "wet palettes - vital painting tools, or just margerine tubs with pretentions?", the contentious subject of whether face to face gaming will ever really replace online play is fully aired, a vital but often neglected topic on the degree of crossover between gardening and wargaming is exhumed and dissected, we ponder the idea that there may be telephones and newspapers in the future, and the answer is (eventually) coughed up to that age-old question of what brush should you use to paint an elephant?

As well as these riveting subjects Andy's Quiz this week is all about swearing, the Napoleonic Saga reaches the grim depths of a Russian winter with the March on Moscow and the Battle of Borodino, and the army list debate delves deep into the ins and outs of the very end-of-empire Latest Byzantines.  

This week's links: 

• Tamsins Dredd Buildings
• The Later Byzantine Lists 
• That March on Moscow graphic

This week the thorny subject of Reverse Vodka Brexit rears it's ugly head, Vallejo Urban Graffiti'ed Concrete paint gets evaluated in comparison to their very handy Vallejo Tartan dropper bottle, the discussion on jam or clotted cream is revisited in proper military style, whether it's ever fair to let your kids play with your best toys is debated for a very short period of time, the prevalence of French rugby shirts in 6th Century AD Europe is considered, the question of how irregular should an irregular warband be is tossed on the table and gently kicked to death, and the role played by of brick-filled barges in the Napoleonic wars is fully resolved to no-one's satisfaction. 

In addition there is Andy's Quiz, the painting and gaming roundups return, Teaching Timmy About Napoleon covers a series of battles against the Austrians (again!), and the team vote on the best iterations of the French Ordannance army (#234 in ADLG).

• French Ordonnance lists on the ADLG Wiki
• Tamsins Concrete Blog 

Led heroically by G'Day Simon the truncated team try to cover topics as varied as making tea with toothbrushes, if charm bracelet charms have a role in wargaming, how to tell which beach is which when it comes to 1970's episodes of Dr Who, what a Scotsman would wear under his badger onsie, just how close a miss is a cannonball between the legs, whether a washing machine can be used to mix paint (or if a tumble dryer would be better), what is Sean Bean's second-best swearword, and will the "Austrians - don't they all wear white?" discussion will end up running for longer than the pandemic.

In addition there is (almost) the full range of regular features including answering the questions that weren't actually asked last week, the regular painting review, a comparison of two Achaemenid Persian lists in ADLG (including a battle between the two lists as well), Andy's Quiz and the week in the team's wargaming. 

The only thing missing is, erm, me - but I'll be back next week!  

• Sean Beans Epic Insult
• The Persian Lists 

This week the foolhardy seven consider whether a Napoleonic LoTR crossover movie could stage its apocalyptic final battle scene in Bramall Lane stadium, how toothbrushes helped the  British Army of the Rhine ward off a Warpac invasion in the 1980's, the current statistics for underpants-wearing in Harrow, fashion trends in Janissary headgear, how best to recover frosted figures, whether Adele would have re-written her global smash single "Chasing Pavements" if she had known about laser-cut MDF back in 2008, whether a steam powered organ needs more wheels or less legs, and how many Light Horse are Too Many?

Andy's quiz also enjoys a stunning return to surreal and bizzarre form, we attempt to answer the questions we failed to ask last week, the Assyrian and Sargonid army gets a thorough investigation, Teaching Timmy about Napoleon reaches the point in the wars in which everyone starts to say "Bastard" in a Yorkshire accent, there's more Tabletop Simulator action to report on, and we do even learn something about painting - and all of that happens before we end with a fascinating discussion about antipodean animal accidents. 

• The Assyrian Army Lists 
• Tamsin's latest Judge Dredd painting haul
• Malifaux models on Madaxeman
• Sean Bean's YouTube Bastard Compilation

In this week's episode there is a vague attempt made to answer the questions posed in this exact same block of text last week but which last week's podcast failed to even mention, the many questions that the subject of badgers always throws up are debated in probably the most thorough way ever seen on any wargaming-specific podcast, the Later Ottoman army gets picked apart in both it's Serbian and non-Serbian incarnations, and Andy's Quiz returns yet again.

Other topics given a 99-day airing include what the best paint schemes are for burger bars, whether Napoleon ever got irritated with the Austrians always suing for peace after he beat them, which blue is best for painting denim, what is the correct way to pronounce your own name in a Swiss bowling alley, is there a way out of existential Janissary angst, what's the correct payment-in-kind for a 3 hour truck ride across Alabama, just how big is Steve from LBMS' house, and whether Ancient British baggage now needs to include an underground bypass for your own personal 15mm A303.

Episode Links

• Ottoman Empire Army Lists 
• Denizens & Villains of Mega City One
• Malifaux Models & Snipped Sprues 
• Minipainter23 on Instagram
• ADLG on Tabletop Simulator - a Madaxeman game replay

In a packed programme tonight Matthew, all seven contributors seek to contribute something of value in a tightly-edited episode which drills deep into subjects as diverse as solutions for saggy Egyptian chariot axles, what length of bungee cord is best to attach a duvet to the side of an elephant, whether Americans can ever be trusted, if having a wheel instead of a belly-button is a positive evoltionary step in a city with lots of stairs, strategies for exhibiting Hungarian photography in public, shipping times between the UK and Australia, which one of Napoleon's Marshalls would Bernard Bresslaw have played had Carry On Boney ever been made, do badgers make good toupees (or is it better to ask a fieldmouse to do the detailed stitching?) and how best to stick pins into horse riders nether regions.    

Astoundingly, there's also another full episode of Teaching Timmy About Napoleon (sadly no cookery-themed content this week), an ADLG army list review of the Medieval Scandinavians (lists on the Wiki) and another outing for the ever-popular Andy's Quiz. 

(Make sure to listen - or fast-forward - right to the very end for some unusual bonus content as well!)

• ADLG-R Download from Urban Bunny Blog
• Tamsin's Blog
• Madaxeman.com ADLG Wiki Medieval Scandinavian

This week the team of 7 struggle valiantly to try and make the subject of WW2 Pacific Theatre Naval Battles staged entirely during the hours of darkness in 1942 sound unfeasibly interesting, wait expectantly for the drilling to start, vandalize MDF light industrial buildings for entertainment, get confused between Hannibal and Napoleon, consider whether the Austro-Hungarian Empire could have staged it's own internal Eurovision Song Contest in the late 1700's, decide that the Late Imperial Roman Army is severely lacking in troops types which it isn't allowed to field, try to bring down the entire wargaming economy by proposing an alternative to the global barter system in partly-used LBMS transfer sheets and finally decide to ponder the question of if a blue giant monkey with wings isn't considered a bit weird, just what is...?  

There's also another full episode of Teaching Timmy About Napoleon (perhaps best summed up by the quote "I think I now know less about the Napoleonic Wars than I did before the start of this feature"), an ADLG army list review of the Late Imperial Romans (lists on the Wiki) and in a boon to lovers of military poetry and sub-par French regional deep house techno, the return of Andy's Quiz.  

Some of the stuff we talk about can even be seen online

• Tamsin's Citi Def Troopers
• Tamsin's Dredd Terrain 
• Tim's 15mm Hungarians
• Dave's Egyptians 
• The ADLG Wiki for the Late Romans

Topics addressed in almost painstaking detail include whether ink is just watered down paint with a better PR, if starting a new period by painting the terrain before the figures is a crime against nature, whether if ArmyPainter is good enough for goblins does that mean it's also good enough for the legions of Rome, how long can anyone talk about an army who's uniforms are all white, definitive proof that Eddy Izzard is actually talented at that comedy malarkey, is the choice to paint horses or riders first the wargamers equivalent of the age-old "clotted cream / jam" debate, how invading Egypt might be the ideal way to take a war to the British, and - of course, a timely reminder of the poetic genius of Eric Morcecambe. 

There is also a discussion about that perennial under-achieving arab army, the Fatimid Egyptians in ADLG, another set of questions in Andy's Quiz, and the second triumphant week of Teaching Timmy about Napoleon.  

Hot topics for tepid discussion this week include whether the best yellow paint is in fact Plague Brown, the Tau of Fire Hydrant Numerology, whether there was an aftermarket for refitting Egyptian chariots with go faster stripes and pumping stereos, how posh would a Samurai leader need to be in order to qualify for a self flushing toilet, whether Sisyphus would have been daft enough to start painting 28 bases of horses and how many arms per man do you need to make Fireforge's box of Mongol infantry.

The regular feature on ADLG List Building this week covers the Nikephorian Byzantines (in all its various modes of spelling), Andy's quiz of course returns to help us all disco-down into the weekend, we talk in more depth about playing actual games on Tabletop Simulator, and a new feature is born in the shape (and theme tune) of Teaching Timmy About Napoleon, an idiot's guide to the Napoleonic Wars

In the fleeting moments of the podcast that take place before we reach Andy's Quiz Music a wide variety of debates take place - the best board games for feuding siblings, using the type of garden feature which would raise eyebrows in a parliamentary expenses committee for tabletop terrain, genetic similarities between Vikings and Saxons, whether treatments for 10mm addiction could be made available on the NHS, how to sneak lead through domestic customs inspections, and in a newly trimmed version of the ADLG list discussion we all take a vote on who we think would win in a Jurchen Ch'in-Jurchen Ch'in face-off (hint - the Song Chinese always come off worst...).

There's also a whole load of discussion about how Tabletop Simulator (available on Steam) might actually be the solution we all didn't realise we were looking for to get some (virtual) lead on a (virtual) table in the near future - all of which gets crammed in before Andy's Quiz. 

Even with someone who used to do a sensible job as a schoolteacher added to the mix, the wargaming-related conversation still manages to ramble across the mental tabletop in a somewhat erratic fashion, covering important yet strangely rarely discussed topics such as what colour should rigging be on a 1/240th scale 19th Century Ironclad, do Gnomes still have a place in modern warfare, can a camel get a tan if it stands out in the desert too long, is the Austrian army a painters dream or simply a signifier of laziness, if a Grenzer joined the cast of Eastenders would he become a Geezer, is it still legal to resist buying 10mm Napoleonics, and does getting your children to paint Perry plastics fall under the remit of the Modern Day Slavery act?

There is also a phenomenally long discussion on how to assemble and use Hannibals Carthaginian army under ADLG (skip to the 1 hour 25 minute mark when you get to it if you're not interested in ADLG list building), and a new feature on what games we have actually played in the last week.

Oh, and Andy's Quiz returns - cue the music! 

Consideration is given to the three main types of glue - sticking-shields-on-type-glue, basing glue and plastic modelling glue. 

Even more astonishingly there is some bonus out-take glue-chat at the end - so make sure to listen all the way through!

(* Yes, mostly from Tamsin again. Of course)

With almost 300 games played with the NKE in all competitions, this famous army from history racks up a fairly weak success rate of just over 42% (as of May 2020), placing the NKE deep in the lower quartile of competition-effectiveness rankings despite it being one of the 50 most popular armies in use.

In this podcast we discuss the roles and combinations which can help you turn what can often feel like a frustratingly-undergunned army into an effective combined arms force able to go toe to toe against historical opponents. 

The pod includes discussion of a number of specific list makeups, all of which can all be found on the ADLG Wiki on Madaxeman.com

More importantly they all attempt to come to some sort of conclusion to the two key questions of "how much should I spend on a brush, and how many should I own?"

Brush brands discussed and reviewed include : 

• Kolinksy Raphael 
• Windsor & Newton (Series 7)
• Army Painter 
• Cass Art 
• Royal & Langnickel
• The Masters (Brush Soap)
• Broken Toad (Brush Soap)
• Da Vinci Cosmotop 
• Great Art

(* That'll be Tamsin then.)

This week the topics covered range from a discussion as to whether canned air smells of anything, whether Swiss cheese-hurling Gnomes would have Norman-style nasal guards on their gnome-hats (for combat purposes only), if a cat with a Katana is a credible substitute for a Japanese monk on a tortoise, how airbrushes actually work, horse colours across the known world in the ancient and medieval period, whether Croeseus could have kept the Persian Empire at bay if only he'd known how to cobble together a decent ADLG list, and we try and answer the vexed question of why do Napoleonic Austrian armies take so dammed long to finish given that they should really be 95% done after the first spraying of a white undercoat.

Various bits of this podcast link to things you can see online, including the haul from the Eclectic Painting Weekend, the Lydian ADLG lists, Tamsin's Airbrush Horse Painting on her blog. Andy's Vikings also now appear on the L'Art de la Guerre Facebook Group, but you need to join the group to see them.

If you follow this Podcast also watch out for a special bonus episode later this week in which the usual gang devote a full half-hour to the vexed subject of paintbrushes! 

Subjects covered this week in the paint-chat include Chinese Chariotry Umbrellas, whether a reasonably close encounter with a tin of white spray paint counts as "fully painted" when it comes to Austrian Napoleonic infantry, Gnomepoleon's leadership qualities, would Steve McQueen have cleared that fence on a Harley rather than a Triumph, how long the 7 Years War ran for, if double-depth basing has led to the end of monopose units, digital photography techniques for toy soldiers, opportunities for Buddhist monks on tortoises in contemporary tabletop warfare and the vexed question of how many simultaneous painting projects is too many?

There is also a special feature on the Later T'ang Army (ADLG list 169) in which all 6 contributors throw a list on the table for critique and discussion, and the return yet again of Andy's Quiz. 

The T'ang lists we discuss are all published on the ADLG Wiki on the Madaxeman.com website.

This week also sees the one-off appearance of "What's not in the Bag?" in which we all discuss what we did not buy at Salute! at the weekend due to it being postponed to 2021. This one you can play along with at home - the full trader list for Salute! 2020 is avaiable online on the Warlords website

The end result is an episode that stretches dangerously towards the 90 minute mark, but fortunately for fans of niche French urban slo-tempo techno that does mean Andy's Quiz also returns yet again. 

The usual 6-strong banter machine gets into gear to discuss this weeks painting haul, and then digresses gently towards topics as unusual as those bloody vikings (again), assembling various scales of ancient britons, how 20mm soft plastic manufacturers stack up (in boxes probably..?), the frightening prominence of male nipples under the steely-eyed glare of a cold ink wash, an update on how the Renaissance iteration of L'Art de la Guerre is coming along, if it's ever possible for anyone to be happy with how their Samurai army turned out, whether 6% is an acceptable ABV for a session beer, and - yet again - Andy Finkelkelkelkel's Quiz of the Week which moves this week around the human body from leg-based questions towards the often sticky subject of Great Navel Injuries of History. Or possibly Naval injuries - the sound quality isn't good enough to be entirely sure. 

And, we would dare to bet this will also be the only time you will ever hear a military-themed version of the popular radio quiz game Mornington Crescent. Mainly because we probably won't try to repeat the exercise ...

"I must have laughed maybe twice"

(Leading DBMM player)

As well as the usual chunter, dross and fluff this week there is even more coverage of buying and painting Vikings, whether it's acceptable to cheat with WW2 German cammo patterns, just how much effort is too much when it comes to 15mm Samurai, rescue techniques for those all-too-common gold spray paint accidents, the challenges of insuring wargaming figures, whether the film Highlander would work if it was remade to cover the life of an immortal ACW General living in modern day Hoxton, Venexia's rebirth in North West England, if buying a whole 28mm army is justified if in the process you can then avoid wasting a £3 sheet of waterslide decals, and - of course - Andy Finkelkelkelkel's Quiz of the Week, which this time around dares to venture into thematic territory so obscure it would surely frighten even the most battle-hardened Osprey Publishing commissioning editor. 

And we drink some beer. Which is nice.

(and... all the stuff we talk about we've bought ourselves - there's no product placement, freebies or paid endorsements in here. But if anyone did want to send anything, please get in touch!)

Sit back, dip your paint brush in your and enjoy.  

"Makes me wish I'd been hit in both ears, not just one eye at the battle of Corsica in 1758" : Lord Horatio Nelson

With much of the gaming world in lockdown it's become impossible to go to the pub and talk rubbish about wargaming - so why not listen to 5 random blokes talking rubbish about wargaming for an hour or so while you're doing painting?     

"Convinced me my wife was right and I did actually need to go and re-grout the shower"  (Angus Deayton)

In this first of many (probably) Lockdown Special Podcasts the team wrestle with audio quality across a variety of supposedly professional-grade audio conferencing apps, and chat tosh about a number of barely related topics including Forged in Battle's Kickstarters, the pseudo-wargame Rommel, the state of the Flames of War market, Essex, Xyston and Museum miniatures latest releases, Herve Caille's Bataille Empire rules, their experiences of the last overseas conventions before we were all confined to barracks and even whether World of Tanks might be worth us all re-installing?

"If I'm forced to listen to another one of these I might start agreeing with Trump that it's best to re-open the country at Easter"  (Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez) 

Browsing the UK calendar had failed to cough up any events which coincided with a free weekend, but on the French part of the ADLG forum I spotted one event on a very specific weekend in November, and a last-minute plan suddenly fell into place... Avignon!

Air Miles subsidized the international logistics, Avis loyalty points chipped in with a gallic roller-skate-sized hire car and a list I'd already used saw a very small but relatively freshly painted Assyrian army packed into the world's smallest tin for a hand-luggage-only travel plan involving the smallest rucksack in my collection.

5 games later and there French meta has been well and truly tested to wine, beer, cheese and obscure local spirits type destruction in 5 games of mixed success for the Lions of Assyria.

Listen and be amazed at the local atmosphere, or read the full report on the Madaxeman.com website.

Original music courtesy of Howard Gray, additional sound effects from the BBC sound archive

The latest winning list is from the 2019 Worlds, and is featured here. You can see all of the winning lists on the Madaxeman.com ADLG Wiki 

Massimiliano's Worlds 2019 Winning lists Competent 3 Ch. Halb. & Sw. Medium swordsmen impact 1 Elephant Elephant 2 Light Inf. Light infantry javelin 1 Auxiliares Javelinmen 1 Ch. Mixed ½ Medium spearmen ½ Crossbowmen == Competent Unreliable 2 Khan G. Heavy cavalry impact bow Elite 4 mongol horsemen Light cavalry bow ------ 2 Light Inf. Light infantry bow ------ == Brilliant Unreliable 2 Khan G. Heavy cavalry impact bow Elite 2 mongol horsemen Light cavalry bow ------ 2 Mixed Units ½ Medium spearmen ½ Crossbowmen ------ 1 Chines Arch. & Xbow Crossbowmen ---- 2 Inf. Fire Tube Light infantry firearm ----

V2 Brilliant 4 Kans G. Heavy cavalry impact bow Elite 3 Mongol Horsemen Light cavalry bow ------ 1 Chinese Xbuw Crossbowmen ------ == Competent Unreliable 1 Elephant Elephant 2 C. Halb. & Swordsmen Medium swordsmen impact 2 Light T. Light infantry javelin 2 Mixed Units ½ Medium spearmen ½ Crossbowmen == Competent Included Ally 2 Elephant Elephant 3 Warriors Medium swordsmen impetuous 1 Light Troups Light infantry javelin 1 Archers Light infantry bow 1 Light Cav. Light cavalry javelin

The interview was conducted over Skype, so there are moments where the audio is a bit patchy, but hey, it's not like you've signed up to this on Patreon or anything now is it? 

His own write ups of his games also appear on the ADLG forum , and the lists he played against can be found on the Madaxeman ADLG Wiki

Tucker's Venetian Italian Condottieri list was as follows:

C-in-C (Gattamelata) (Brilliant) -2 Heavy Knight, Impact, Ordinary -2 Crossbow, Ordinary -2 Medium Swordsmen, Heavy Weapons, Ordinary -2 Light Infantry, Firearms, Elite

Command 2 (Sforza) (Brilliant) -3 Heavy Knight, Impact, Ordinary -2 Crossbow, Ordinary -1 Light Horse, Crossbow, Ordinary -1 Heavy Artillery

Command 3 (Ordinary) -3 Heavy Knight, Impact, Ordinary -2 Light Horse, Javelin, Elite

This podcast is also available on YouTube, with pictures of figures running in the background. 

Or, more accurately it's the audio track from the Youtube Video where I talk through the battle from the standpoint of the Vandals - so you probably need to be reading the website report to make sense of it.

Anyway, it's been ages since I've published a podcast, so here you go... 

Designed to accomany the Burton Doubles Madaxeman.com Match Report on Madaxeman.com, this podcast looks at how Samurai stand up to Elephants, discussed a really odd hipster beer and was recorded whilst we were digesting a "Curry in a Box" meal deal from Asda.

The podcast is the final one of four, covering all four rounds of the 2018 Burton Doubles competition, and is also available with integrated video on the Madaxeman.com Youtube channel   

Designed to accomany the Burton Doubles Madaxeman.com Match Report on Madaxeman.com, this deeply insightful and analytical reviw of the performance of the Samurai army also contains reviews of niche market hipster beers and a deep dive into the merits of the £5 "Curry in a Box" meal deal from Asda.

The podcast is the third of four, covering all four rounds of the 2018 Burton Doubles competition, and is also available with integrated video on the Madaxeman.com Youtube channel   

Designed to accomany the Burton Doubles Madaxeman.com Match Report on Madaxeman.com, this deeply insightful and analytical reviw of the performance of the Samurai army also contains reviews of niche market hipster beers and a chat about the Onion Bhaji's in the "Curry in a Box" meal deal from Asda.

The podcast is the second of four, covering all four rounds of the 2018 Burton Doubles competition, and is also available with integrated video on the Madaxeman.com Youtube channel   

Designed to accomany the Burton Doubles Madaxeman.com Match Report on Madaxeman.com, this deeply insightful and analytical reviw of the performance of the Samurai army also contains reviews of niche market hipster beers and an anticipation of an "Curry in a Box" from Asda.

The podcast is the first of four, covering all four rounds of the 2018 Burton Doubles competition, and is also available with integrated video on the Madaxeman.com Youtube channel   

The list we discuss in this podcast is as follows:

Strategist

• 1 Turkish ghulams Heavy cavalry bow Elite
• 3 Turkish ghulams Heavy cavalry bow ----------
• 1 Turks Light cavalry bow ----------
• 1 Elephant Elephant Elite
• 2 Dailami Medium swordsmen impact Elite
• 2 Indian javelinmen Light infantry javelin --------

Ordinary Included

• 1 Elephant Elephant Elite
• 2 Indian warriors Medium swordsmen impetuous ----------
• 1 Naffatun Light infantry firearm Elite (probably not legal..)

Brilliant

• 1 Turkish ghulams Heavy cavalry bow Elite
• 2 Turkish ghulams Heavy cavalry bow
• 2 Turks Light cavalry bow ----------
• 1 Turks Medium cavalry bow --------

200AP, 20 Units

This posdcast is also available with video, via the Madaxeman.com Youtube channel

This podcast accompanies the match reports on Madaxeman.com of the competition, in which I also use a Sassanid list, but with less success... 

(Recorded via Skype, so good sound quality throughout as well.)

A video version of this podcast exists on Youtube

This episode was recorded quite literally on the road, using an iPhone 5 microphone - the audio is still pretty decent though, so don't be afraid!