Let Go of EGO

If you have ever caught yourself behaving in a way that makes you cringe then it’s likely your ego is to blame. The ego can be tricky to manage – if we’re not careful it will sneak right up behind us when we least expect it, and before we know it we’re acting in ways that we know deep down are not for our best benefit. What is the ego? There are many different definitions of the ego, all of which can get quite complex. My personal take on the ego is that it’s the part of us that feels the need to be special. It’s that part of us that seeks approval – and by very definition it is a part of us that feels lacking in some way. This is why I know that the ego is not my friend. The easiest way to determine if your ego is at play is to ask one of these two questions: * Do I feel superior to others? * Do I feel inferior to others? If you answered yes to either of the above questions then it’s likely your ego is in the driving seat. This is because the ego is somewhat of a contradiction. The ego is not just about arrogance Many people hold a belief that if you have a big ego then this means you are arrogant and over-confident. There is this idea that your level of ego is relative to how much you love yourself. While this can often be the case – as I mentioned earlier if you are feeling superior to others then this is definitely your ego at play, but the ego also makes us feel inferior at times. The ego and inferiority Have you ever felt like you’re just not good enough? Have you ever looked at someone else and thought – I wish I was as good as they are? If you have (and let’s face it most people have done this) then this is also an example of being caught in the clutches of your ego. Being right and the ego Another sure fire way to tell if you’re being led by your ego is to notice if you’re desperate to be right. When you’re caught in an argument what are you fighting for? Are you genuinely making a point or are you arguing to prove that you’re right? Someone very wise once said to me: “You can be happy…..or you can be right.” This is a great question to ask yourself next time you’re caught in the throws of an argument. Or are you willing to sacrifice your own personal happiness just so that you can make your ego happy by being right? Simple Life Strategy: 10 Signs Your Ego is in Control So what can you do to combat your ego? The first step is awareness – you need to start to become aware of when you’re ego is playing up so you can stop it before it’s too late! Here are 10 sure fire signs that your ego is in control: 1. You feel elevated from gossiping about other people’s flaws 2. You find yourself in a feisty discussion and you just can’t back down until you have ‘won’ the argument 3. You constantly compare yourself to other people who you feel are better than you (better looking, more intelligent, happier, more wealthy) 4. You constantly compare yourself to people who you feel are not as good as you (less intelligent, lower status) 5. You feel jealous when other people do well 6. You talk about yourself for 10 minutes before asking another how they are 7. You’d rather win than do your best 8. You often sulk when you don’t win that sports game or work challenge (instead of being proud of your attempt to do your best) 9. You set yourself impossible goals and then beat yourself up when you don’t reach them 10. You blame others when things don’t go your way Letting Go of the Ego Because the ego has multiple aspects, it is not practical or effective to dissolve all of it at once, nor is it likely that you could do so.   Much like a tree or large bush that is overgrown in the yard, you don’t just lift it out and throw it away – you cut off manageable pieces instead.  The same approach is effective with letting go of the false beliefs that make up the ego. You begin by detaching from individual thoughts that reinforce the ego, then let go of beliefs, separating yourself from the false identity of your ego. We have spent years building our ego self-images, living inside of them, and reinforcing them. Extracting our genuine self out of this matrix of false beliefs will take more than a few days. Yes, it will take a while… so what. It also took a while to learn to read, do math, walk, and develop proficiency at any valuable skill. Things worth doing take time and practice. What better thing do you have to do than let go of what is causing you unhappiness? --Joe B --Gary Van