the barn tape

by garbagewitch

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  • "The Barn Tape" Tape
    Cassette + Digital Album

    What remains of the first limited run of 12 cassettes we made of The Barn Tape. We sold some at a show so there's currently only a few left. Will only ship domestically

    Includes unlimited streaming of the barn tape via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    Download available in 24-bit/48kHz.

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1.
Intro 00:34
2.
Like a weed loves the concrete that it grows up through I want my love to leave a mark on you Leave a sign down in your marrow, without tearing you apart I want to leave graffiti in the chambers of your heart That says I was here And I loved you so deeply That I couldn’t help but dig my nails in I would never want To fill anyone completely But I don’t want it to blow away in the wind I don’t want it to blow away in the wind Like a bird loves the branch it builds its nesting on I know my love someday we’ll both be gone But when our paths diverge and it's time to go The pieces of you will make up my new home With the wind at my back I'll reflect so naively On the way we that we both drew each other in With my open arms And the way I sing so sweetly You just couldn’t help but sink your teeth right in Oh I wanted you to sink your teeth right in Love changes everything it touches Neither one of us will be the same when it's done I don't wanna be the only one who changes I'll make sure that you're not the same when I'm done
3.
No Glory 02:44
Hold fast to the things that bring you joy The truths you believe Keep a record of the messages You send and receive Or burn all your notes and notebooks Every single one Someone will remember you When the time has come There will be no glory There will be no shame There will be people who remember you For a number of decades The essence that you leave behind Will become something new And eventually move on One day the last computer chip Will fizzle out and die The fiber optic networks Will crumble in their lines No bandcamp link or blog post Or the like None of what we've made In the long run will survive There will be no glory There will be no fear Nobody left to say our names And there will be no one to hear The earth itself will crumble The marks we leave will fade Mankind's crowning achievement Is that we will be remade
4.
Providence 02:46
Feel the cycle neverending Bare branch to bud to green to red The long slow road to autumn You are a garden that needs tending The proper soil in your bed All things required to blossom May your roots grow strong May God never see you cry May you feel the breach of earth As it gives way to open sky Now feel the fallow work of winter Deep underground you know the air You lay your claim upon it Spread your flesh amidst the thin earth Plan a route up to see the sun Then walk it as you've drawn it May your leaves reach far May you rarely need to lie Bend but not break in the wind As you stretch up to open sky It will be worth it to heal The future that is being built is every bit as real As the cruelty of the now, for better and for worse Life is just as much a blessing as it is a curse
5.
It came to me one morning A deluge of understanding like the ever-present rain A silver swallow landing Compiled information I've been storing in my brain Someone pointed out the initial sign And I felt the city talking to me through my spine I understand the messages the secret-painters leave I can read the symbols that they carve into the trees There exists another world that I am not a part of But I'm looking for a door In the quiet of the evening You can hear it in the places long abandoned by the law In the pale light of morning You can see it in the mirror, in the scars along your jaw I might vanish in the night one day But in the right conditions you might hear me say I understand the messages the secret-weavers paint I followed all the symbols, both the vibrant and the faint There exists another world that I am not now far from I went looking for a door In the root-bound passages deep underneath the trees In the places never touched by any earthly breeze There exists another world that I am now a part of If you can find a door
6.
Burning, barely held together I want to be able to go home Lungs stung, filled with ash and embers I want to be able to go home It's not the place I lay my head Fire can't erase the things we said And across the expanse Of the bridge we built and burned together We all stand alone Is it worth it? Was it ever? I want to be able to go home Some things just never get better But I want to be able to go home It's not the ice that starts to melt I can't give back the hand I'm dealt And as you lock the door On the life we tried to build together We all stand alone
7.
In another world we still live together In a different apartment in the same part of town Slow poison in the air and in our history together Keeping each other afloat as we drag each other down And we still pile onto my bed in front of the fire when the power's out And the silence grows heavier each day under the things that you can't talk about Three sisters, two ex-lovers Refugees from a refuge that didn't want us In another world we still live together But there's no other world There's no other world There's no other world There's only this one In another world we still see each other A couple times a week at least Trying to redeem ourselves by clinging to each other But the hunger never fades no matter how lavish the feast And we still have bonfires on summer nights when the moon is full And I still call you when deciding things feels impossible Wretched daughters, wayward mothers Black sheep from a family of hopeless causes In another world we still see each other But there's no other world There's no other world There's no other world There's only this one I know I know I know Nothing lasts forever But I miss living in The world where we're together
8.
Hello oh eager supplicant I can tell that you’re not new to this From the fact that you’ve already started to strip down Reveal to me your deepest truths The facts and forms of your abuse And once you’ve finished we can really go to town Tell me what it means to you to be a girl And how long have you felt that way Tell me all the ways you hate your body And the ways you wish that it would change Tell me everything Oh tell me anything You think I should put down For insurance purposes you understand You seem so eloquent Oh what a testament To all the practice that you’ve had Reciting your disorders on command Peel back your skin a little more for me To see the things that live embedded in your flesh They are so dear to me And why shouldn’t they be? Oh why shouldn’t they be? This is my calling You need me, you need me
9.
When was the last time you felt human When was the last time you felt safe in your own mind Oh yeah of course you’ll still get through this But how much do you have to get through Before you can live your life The wheel keeps turning And you can’t help but watch it spin The rain outside defines the boundary Of the situation you are in No early exit There’s no way out but through Decisions leave you paralyzed But no one else can choose what’s right for you When was the last time you felt happy When was the last time you weren’t scared to be alone All those fucking hours spent in therapy How long will you have to live here Before this place feels like home People keep leaving You can’t help but watch them leave Cold shoulders or the dark arms of the grave And either way you’re left to grieve You can’t ignore it Can’t help but feel it all Can’t go yourself Or else who’ll be around to see the next one fall The wheel keeps turning And you can’t help but watch it spin The rain outside defines the boundary Of the situation you are in No early exit There’s no way out but through Decisions leave you paralyzed But no one else can choose what’s right for you
10.
Hallelujah, hardly knew ya, I will let you go Your streets and my spine, once entwined now unwind Uncoiling in the snow I will find my breath below Where the sun becomes shadow Limped away from here like a wounded deer I was trailing all your ghosts Wish me speed from these streets of defeat Of bone and cobblestone Leaving paths in the snow Weaving the past with the falling ash And burning the road I will find my breath below Where the sun becomes shadow Hallelujah, hardly knew ya, I will let you go I will find my breath below Where the sun becomes shadow

about

I played this show after a year of being too focused on school to perform, without practicing enough beforehand, and it was such a lovely experience anyway. Receiving such love despite the shakiness of my performance was really encouraging. I hope you will enjoy these songs, warts and all, just as much as the people in the barn did on that swampy August evening.

credits

released October 4, 2024

Recorded live at Former Jumanji in Stoughton, MA by M. Vuchichevich on August 2nd, 2024
Mixed by I. Miryam Weiss at Shine House in Portland, OR

All songs written and performed by I. Miryam Weiss except for Breath Below (Hallelujah), which was written by Mallory (malloryfolk.bandcamp.com)

Album cover by I. Miryam Weiss

Special thanks to Vuch, CJ, James, Amanda, Jonah, June, Gene, Cricket, Kal, Lyric, Rascal, Desdemona, Willow, and Sabina without whom I could not have made this album. Shout-out to the Badlands Motel in Medora, ND, for becoming a strange oasis on my yearly bi-coastal trips. And, of course, my mom and dad.

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garbagewitch Portland, Oregon

four girls and a bunch of screaming ghosts

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