okay crossover episode where dean comes down with a mysterious disease and cas can’t heal him for random plot reasons so he has to go to the hospital. first of all Cameron is the ULTIMATE #icanfixhim girl so she latches onto dean. she’s a shark and his trauma is blood in the water. she tries to make him talk about his daddy issues while he just deflects and makes sexist comments. this is what 90% of season 1-3 house episodes are like so we’re off to a great, in-character start.

house calls dean a closet case within two minutes of meeting him and dean throws something. when cas shows up he makes some vaguely homophobic comments about the two of them. however cas and dean’s relationship is paralleled heavily to wilson and house’s relationship all episode. wilson and cas end up in a scene together where cas is like “I feel so helpless because I can’t heal him :(“ and wilson, who doesn’t know this is about Literally Healing Him and thinks it’s metaphorical is like “well you can’t help people if they don’t want to be helped 😔”. idk what issue house and wilson are going through but it’s something about not being able to communicate.

by the end of the episode wilson has talked cas into having a semi-honest conversation with dean where he’s like “I feel like it’s my fault that you’re in pain right now because normally I would be able to heal you” and dean is like “c’mon, buddy, you know it’s not your fault, right?” yeah okay and then this ties back into house and wilson (i’m thinking out loud here) where they have a conversation at the very end of the episode where house is like “i KNOW you’re blaming yourself for me being [back on vicodin] right now. when will you learn that you CAN’T fix me you can’t take responsibility for other people’s fucked up actions!”

crowley gets sent in to distract cuddy while house’s gang does some dangerous unnecessary medical procedure and sam & cas are trying a magic ritual solution. and they do fuck. #milf4milf

SOMEHOW the diagnosis goes back to John. like dean makes an offhand comment about something his dad used to do and house has his epiphany and is like you idiot! why didn’t you mention that your dad used to leave you alone with your brother in dirty motel rooms for weeks on end! CLEARLY you have a delayed onset of Abandoned-In-Dirty-Motels-As-A-Child-For-Weeks-On-End Disease and would have been died of it in the next hour if I, the greatest doctor in the world, had not caught it. luckily the treatment is very simple and you will be up and walking around tomorrow even though right now five of your organs are failing.

finally, during the episode SAM hooks up with thirteen (they’ve been having side conversations about death and feeling like you don’t have a choice in what’s gonna happen to you all episode) and at the end her Huntington’s diagnosis is revealed (this is a big au okay) so his dick game remains positively deadly.