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funny jokes

509 Pins

Jokes 615

the text reads, reaching the fire a child calls the fire department she cries into the phone

Reaching The Fire | Funny Joke

A child calls the fire department. She cries into the phone, "Hurry, come quick! Our house is on fire!" The fire chief replies, "OK, but how do we get to your house?" The child replies, "Use your big red truck!"

a poem written in green with the words i want to be a cowboy

I Want To Be A Cowboy | Funny Joke

More than anything, Billy wanted to be a cowboy. Taking pity on him, a rancher decided to hire the lad and give him a chance. "This is a lariat," the rancher said while showing him a rope, "we use it to catch cows." "I see," said Billy, trying to seem ...

More Funny Signs | Funny Joke

Outside a Hotel: "Help! We need inn-experienced people." Music Store: "Bach in a minuet." Maternity Clothes Shop: "We are open on labor day." At the Electric Company: "We would be de-lighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't, you will be....

Taking The Bait | Funny Joke

A boy was taking care of his baby sister while his parents went to town shopping. He decided to go fishing and he had to take her along. "I'll never do that again!" he told his mother that evening. "I didn't catch a thing!" "Oh, next time I'm sure she'...

Home Game Sickness | Funny Joke

Finally, the good-natured boss was compelled to call Smith into his office. "It has not escaped my attention," the boss pointed out, "that every time there's a home game at the stadium, you have to take your aunt to the doctor." "You know you're right,...

the new year's resolution is written in black and yellow on a yellow background

New Year's Resolutions | Funny Joke

ATTAINABLE New Year's Resolutions This year, I resolve to... - Gain weight. At least 20 pounds. - Stop exercising. Waste of time. - Read less. Makes you think. - Watch more TV. I've been missing some good stuff. - Procrastinate more. Starting tomorrow....

a pink background with the words no discount pizza dispatching her ten - year - old son to pick up a pizza

No Discount Pizza | Funny Joke

Dispatching her ten-year-old son to pick up a pizza, a mother handed him some money and a discount coupon. Later he came home with the pizza AND the coupon. When asked to explain, he replied, "Mom, I had enough money. I didn't need the coupon."

a pink background with the words eating off the carpet

Eating Off The Carpet | Funny Joke

An enthusiastic door-to-door vacuum salesman goes to the first house in his new territory. He knocks, a lady opens the door, and before she has a chance to say anything he runs inside and dumps dirt all over the carpet. He says, "Lady, if this vacuum c...

a pink background with the words lack of dislpline as the family gathered for a big dinner together, the youngest son

Lack Of Discipline | Funny Joke

As the family gathered for a big dinner together, the youngest son announced that he had just joined the army. There were gasps around the table, then some laughter, as his older brothers shared their disbelief that he could handle this new situation. ...

a yellow background with the words travel tactics written in black and white on it

Travel Tactics | Funny Joke

Mr. Smith was a traveling salesman and was always careful to mark his luggage so that no one would mistakenly take his bags. He used bright ribbons and tape, so he was quite surprised to see his bags grabbed by a well-dressed man. Mr. Smith pointed out...

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a poem written in black and green on a green background

The Tree Challenge | Funny Joke

A young man was about to play golf when an old gentleman shuffled onto the tee and asked if he could accompany him. Eventually on the 9th fairway the young man found himself with a tough shot. There was a large pine tree directly between his ball and t...

a poem that reads, racing documentation two horses were walking back to the stable after a day of training one said to the other i can't understand why we

Racing Recommentation | Funny Joke

Two horses were walking back to the stable after a day of training. One said to the other "I can't understand why we are so slow; we come from good stock, we have the best of food, great trainers, and yet we come last in every race." There was a dog ru...

a poem written in white on a blue background

Bilingual Parrot | Funny Joke

This guy goes to a pet shop. There he sees a parrot with a red string tied to its left leg and a green string tied to it's right leg. He asks the owner the significance of the strings. "Well, this is a highly trained parrot. If you pull the red string ...

a poem written in blue and white with the words good samarin on it

Good Samaritan | Funny Joke

A teacher was telling the story of the Good Samaritan to her class of 4 & 5 year-olds. She was making it as vivid as possible to keep the children interested in her tale. At one point, she asked the class, "If you saw a person lying on the roadside all...

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