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Smaller

by Grace Gardner

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lyrics

hunched over in the bathroom with the light off
letting anger project from my throat
im not the type to get sick to my stomach
but it’s twisted, my vision, and the tile could be colder
the pins in my cheeks induce fever
my vibrating wrists make me weak
im hot and then cold, good til i got old
and i traded honesty for grief

im smaller than i ever wanted to be
feel smaller than when i just wouldn’t eat
smaller and smaller, i climb between walls now
small like you need me to be

count the nail marks carved on my heart line
no crescent, no evident fear
im drawing up blood, drawing caricatures
of what i might look like next week
eyes sunken sat deep in their sockets
i can see through translucent green skin
my hair breaks right off at the ends now
because i wanted to call you my friend

im smaller than i ever wanted to be
feel smaller than when i would refuse to sleep
smaller and smaller, im dreaming of houses
smaller than nightmares like me

you get to talk in ways
i can’t reciprocate
always within an ace
with you, I can’t satiate
you mobilize the troops
flying monkeys see and do
play town crier from the roof
til everyone is smaller than you

ive been smaller than i ever wanted
choking down thickening air
hollering hollering, breathing in sawdust
coughing until i can’t breathe

you drowned my lit pitchforks, you got what you wished for
gone like you need me to be

i hope something breaks you down
and you look at your world now
gone like you made it to be

credits

released September 13, 2024
written and performed by grace gardner
guitars by grace gardner and lonnie davis
piano, mix, and master by lonnie davis
artwork by grace gardner
special thanks to delaney, nick, and maddie at mothers know best

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about

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Grace Gardner Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Raised in the cow-ridden outskirts of a Texas city, Grace Gardner is pushing the bounds of the singer/songwriter genre. Her writing takes on an evocative nature.
Grace plays 10 instruments but weaving orchestral, brass, percussive, and software-based elements into her creations. Along with being a singer, songwriter, and instrument player, Grace is also a producer, music educator, and arranger. ... more

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