photography and text JACKSON BOWLEY
styling FRANCESCA IZZI
This story appears in i-D 375, The Beta Issue. Get your copy here.
Prompt Butler
Everyone says that large language models can “do work for us,” but what if telling ChatGPT and the like what to do feels a chore in itself? Enter the Prompt Butler—a seasoned professional specialised in prompting AI to your bespoke whims. Need a uni essay? No problem. A Hinge bio without touching a keyboard? Say no more.
Wardrobe Digitiser
Your avatar looks like it was dressed by a confused Sim, yet IRL you’re serving Margiela, Comme, and archival Prada from the year the planet finally tapped out. So why’s your digital self still in default jeans and a “cool story bro” tee? A Wardrobe Digitiser fixes that. Armed with a scanner gun, a ring light, and the judgment of a Paris stylist, they upload your closet to the cloud—down to the weird little belts. Soon, your metaverse twin is dressing better than you. Do you even need real clothes anymore? The drip is eternal. The body, optional.
Micro-Influencer Broker
Everyone seems to be freaking famous nowadays. We’re already so booked and busy doing our silly little brand deals for 40 quid. You probably can’t keep up with the emails, but a micro-influencer broker can (for a small percentage). She’ll take on all your admin and all the bullshit, she might even hold your selfie stick for you… all you have to do is sit back and hit share. Don’t worry, a virtual assistant could never replace her because you still need someone to shout at other agents.
7G Milliner
By 2125, the air is basically soup—radiation, data beams, psychoactive pollen from genetically modified roses. Your head? Exposed. Vulnerable. Radiating regret. A 7G Milliner isn’t just a hatmaker but a neuro-shielding artisan for the paranoid sartorialist, crafting high-frequency-blocking headwear so chic you’ll forget it’s functional. Think couture-grade cognitive armour. Finally, a hat that stops both intrusive thoughts and targeted ads.
Indie Pharmacist
Black market IV drips and NAD+ supplements have overtaken the drug-drugs sold in parking lots, birthing a new kind of pharmacist who doesn’t quite operate within mainstream constructs like law or science. She’ll pull up on a BMX, discreetly pump a mysterious blue liquid into your vein, and be gone. She also has Vyvanse, too, if you really need it.
models ALUEL MAKUACH AT ELITE MODELS
LUCY SU AT THE SQUAD MANAGEMENT
JAY JOHNSON AT LIS RUTTEN AGENCY
PATRICK LOTH AT BLUE AGENCY
hair by JOHN ALLAN USING L’ORÉAL PRO
makeup by CLAIRE URQUHART USING DIOR AT JULIAN WATSON AGENCY
nails by MEGAN CUMMINGS USING DIOR MANICURE COLLECTION, DIOR VERNIS AND DIOR LE BAUME
set design by PAULINA PIIPPONEN AT HEN HOUSE
casting by TANGUY GAVIGNET FOR JE SUIS CASTING AT MINI TITLE
photography assistant ROBIN LAMBERT
styling assistant CONNOR AUSTEN
makeup assistants TAMSIN BALLINGALL & KAREN BRADSHAW
runner JAMES DEAN
location WHITE RABBIT STUDIOS