Dear Beaten-Up, Broken-Down, Ugly Old Plaid Couch: Thank you. As long as I’ve had a couch, you have been my couch. Your ugly, unmatchable plaid-ness has been my curse and my great joy. Now that the time has finally come to replace you, I find I can barely bring myself to do it. What will my living room be without you? What will I be without you? We’ve been through so much together. When my proud parents brought me home from the hospital, you were there.