6 real big chapters, 3 days, no rest, test.
Everybody knows the material but me.
I failed.
It wasn´t that I didn´t learn, I did, hard.
But my stupid brain needs a day or two to "internalize" the stuff.
6 big chapters with all new definitions - the trainer repeating, you know this, you´ve done this... and everybody nodding in approval - but me :-( - first time I hear it!
All.New.Terms.
6 Chapters.
Not.Really.Logic.
And Ingo tells me I am too stupid.
Hurts.So.Much. (he´s never been there)
....
No idea if O, who knew a bit about the subject, made it, don´t care about ###.
I failed.
I failed!!!
If I was Swiss: 74%, all good. The German version - talked to three others, they agreed: MUCH harder.
I failed.
I spare you details, a note just for me: energy, math, shower, stupitity on my side. Tears and heaps of disappointment on both sides, too. Isn´t your partner supposed to comfort you, even if he thinks you failed rightfully (not knowing the subject, too!)?
No hug of "I´m with ya" or such.
He´s not with me.
I´m disappointed of... my brain?
No.
Some things are easy now - now that my brain had time to process - the things the others worked with since months or years and I still only know in theory...
Was--till now in steps:
5-days-seminar.
3-days+weekend+test-seminar.
3-days+test-seminar.
Only newbe: me.
And Ingo says it´s my fault, my stupidity.
First time in my adult life I failed and yes - 16 years in the same job (till end Jan).
My heart hurts.
Will go to boss and let him know. He may draw a pic himself.
It´s not even important if "certified" is for Germany only.
One hard week of that, one week of guessing, one day of disappointment, I´m done.
I´m learning Jubula now.
By myself and with A´s help from around the corner, not here and if needed.
Ingo... not sleeping in bed. No one to lean on to.
My "diary" and yes. I yelled at him he should be there for me. He wished me...
Long post. I don´t expect anyone reading still along.
Neighbours (I hear them talking loudly) now know I´m a stupid ###.
I´m so disappointed of it all, organisation... "partner"....
I´d like to say I stay positive. But that´s not true right now, whimp out.
4 comments:
So sorry Ingo is not being supportive. I can imagine how hard it must be to study at our age, we don't learn things as easily as we did in our youth!
Hope he comes to his senses.
xxxx
Thank you, Sami. Yes, it´s the age and also too much and all absolutely new. Colleagues at work comforted me, though. My direct colleague even said she´d cried out of frustration for sure and it would be odd for me if I didn´t.
Oh don't beat yourself up about the test Iris, as Sami said we would all be in the same boat and you were very new to the subject matter. The test is not the end of the world but Ingo not supporting on top of that would have been dreadful for you. I don't understand his reaction or should I say over-reaction! Try to stay calm and let him no it's at times like this you expect your partner to be comforting xxx
It´s all good again, Grace and somehow I think Ingo is not capable of understanding? You are absolutely right, though - I will ask him to read your thoughts.
Thanks for being there xxx
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