How to be in Control without being Controlling

What is wrong with being controlling?

When we are being controlling we are being fearful and pushy.  Our fears will come true if we keep focusing on our fears.  When you are controlling, you make yourself unhappy and others are unhappy too.  We end up not having good relationships with others when we are controlling.  People are fearful of your anger, reaction, and manipulations.  They feel responsible for your happiness unnecessarily.

After a while, people will want to rebel.  Controlling people produce rebellious children and contrary friends because don’t want to feel repressed & manipulated any more.   The power struggle creates more contention and criticism in relationships.  Being controlling takes away people’s power to choose.  It is unintentionally robbing others agency.  This leads to controlling people creating indecisive and insecure children who can’t make wise decisions or accept responsibility for their own choices.  It will get worse for the children the older they get.

 

Why are we controlling?

Why are we controlling in the first place.  We are controlling because we feel out of control (consciously or subconsciously).  We fear we can’t close the ‘gaps’ in where we are now and where we want to be.  We are controlling because we want to avoid mistakes, pains, & problems.  We are controlling because we are impatient and want things done ‘right’ and in our time.  We think that if things are done ‘RIGHT’ then all people will be happy.\

Most people may not be aware of it, but being controlling makes us very self focused, intolerance, not empathetic to others.  In fact, controlling people think they are helping others.  We are self focused because on the subconscious level, we actually need to be right, important, loved, needed etc.  In the end we want to be HAPPY and we think that if things go our way, we will find happiness.  How is that working out for you?

 

Why surrender ‘control’?

Some people think surrender is to give up.  It isn’t to give up.  To let go of control we should merge your will with God for more control.  We surrender to God so we can have a higher degree of JOY.  In our oneness with God, we will be working in Synchronicity & having Extraordinary outcomes.

In that union, we move from servant to friend.

Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you. (John 15:15)

What can & can’t you control?

You can control

• Your own choices
• Your own thoughts and beliefs
• Your own feelings and actions

You can’t control

• Other’s choices
• Other’s thoughts and beliefs
• Other’s feelings and actions
• Results or consequences

How do we let go of being controlling?

1. Have a strong relationship with God for peace, security, & daily downloads
2. Know yourself well & find YOUR HAPPINESS (self-love, self-trusting, self-acceptance, self-healing, stop self-suppression, stop self-sabotage)
3. Trust that God’s got this!
4. Know your purpose and do it well (love and encourage, point people to God for their highest good)
5. Act as inspired & unattached (Don’t hold others responsible for your happiness because your fundamental human needs isn’t met sufficiently by God)
6. Believe that you are a good person and mean well & that others are good and mean well too
7. Accept people for their differences because it adds to the world
8. Authoritarian vs. authoritative parenting (not trusting vs. trusting and relying)

How to allow others to be themselves?

1. LOVE others unconditionally
2. Observe and understand their true natures and their gifts towards THEIR own path of progression
3. Ask God to inspire you as to how to encourage and support them
4. Be outward thinking and encourage others to be themselves
5. Allow others to struggle and make mistakes safely
6. Allow others to pay the price of pain to learn powerful lessons
7. Set people free by not feeling the need to correct them on everything
8. Communicate clearer and with more respect (no shaming, refine your language)
9. As a parent, as soon as you can let go of the decision making as your children grows

Essential oils that may help with control issues:

Cilantro, Clove, HD Clear, Slim & Sassy, Marjoram

 

 

Energy Balancing with Faith

If you are interested in self healing at the spiritual and emotional levels, I encourage you to take the Energy Balancing with Faith course.  This is an inspired course to help you hone your faith-filled personal development skills.  This is energy balancing using essential oils and other tools.  Release the subconscious self-imposed limitations.  Help yourself and others live an intentionally happier, healthier, and holier life.