Burning Questions From The 2025 Oscars

  

Didn't it feel good seeing this start at a reasonable time?

 

Did you expect that optimism would fade later on?

 

Wasn't that L.A. tribute montage incredibly short given the circumstances? 

 

Can you believe they were seriously considering not have any musical performances on the show at all?

 

Was that a rhetorical question?

 

Were you expecting Cynthia Erivo and Ariana Grande to perform in character?

 

Was that maybe asking a little too much?

 

Okay then, how about Chalamet?

 

Out of all the nominees Conan could insert himself into, wasn't 'The Substance' the best choice?

 

Wasn't his joke about Netflix's constant price hikes the cold, hard truth?

 

Just like the one about Karla Sofía Gascón's publicist?

 

Didn't you know he'd immediately go there with the Gascón jabs?

 

And why shouldn't he?

 

Can you believe she actually attended? 

 

A sand worm playing the piano?

 

While the musical number was funny, did you think "I Won't Waste Time" was a promise Conan wouldn't be able to keep?

 

And wasn't that kind of the song's point?

 

With the exception of Chalamet's ultrasound, didn't those celebrity headshots resemble not so embarrassing high school yearbook photos?

 

How about that Adam Sandler bit? 

 

Did Robert Downey Jr. ramble or what? 

 

Are they really not showing any film clips of the nominees...again? 

 

Were you worried they'd present every category like that?

 

With the Culkin win, was everyone officially guaranteed one right on their ballots?

 

Sort of like he and his wife are officially guaranteed two more kids?

 

So, they're showing clips after all?

 

Did anyone correctly predict Animated Short?

 

In any year?

 

Ever? 

 

Didn't the costume nominees presentation take up a lot of time?

 

What would Conan say about that?

 

Wasn't Nick Offerman the ideal choice for announcer?  

 

Were you thinking that Original Screenplay win was a promising early sign for 'Anora?'    

 

Or were you thinking that Adapted Screenplay win was a promising early sign for 'Conclave?'

 

Weren't June Squibb and Scarlett Johansson an inspired pairing? 

 

Did Squibb display the best comedic timing of any presenter?

 

In the event of an Adrien Brody win, wouldn't it be better to have Halle Berry announce Best Actor?

 

Is isn't absurd how Margaret Qualley had to be a part of the James Bond tribute to get onto the Oscars?

 

So, they decided to go all in on the musical performances anyway?

'Cinemastreams?'

 

Was that the first time we've seen Darryl Hannah in over a decade?

 

Did that editing loss seal 'Conclave's' fate? 

 

Why were they not showing clips for the Supporting Actor and Actress nominees?

 

When Zoe won were you wondering if she'd mention Karla Sofía Gascón? 

 

If you still wanted a career after this, would you?

 

Was that Rolex commercial better than just about any Oscar montage?

 

Mick Jagger?!

 

Isn't he unsurprisingly great at this whole presenting thing?

 

Did you think the 16th time would be the charm for Diane Warren? 

 

Did anyone correctly predict Documentary Short?

 

In any year?

 

Ever?

 

Am I in shock that I actually did?

 

Would "guessed" be a more accurate word than "predicted" in this instance?

 

Miles Teller and Miley Cyrus?

 

Are they Conan's version of Letterman's Oprah and Uma?

 

Was Conan's 'Anora' joke about "standing up to a powerful Russian" the line of the night?  

 

Am I the only one perplexed at the level of online hate directed toward Rachel Zegler?

 

Doesn't that 'Better Man' movie look ridiculous? 

 

Did my luck run out with Live-Action Short?

 

Didn't everyone's?

 

Wasn't that a classy tribute to Gene Hackman from Morgan Freeman? 

 

Wasn't it jarring to see how many big names we lost over the past year?

 

And surreal seeing Shelley Duvall, David Lynch, James Earl Jones and Gene Hackman listed consecutively at the end of the montage?

 

Did you yell "Oh no, not again!" when you realized they excluded Michelle Trachtenberg?

 

How can they so royally screw this up every year?

 

Are they trying to upset viewers?

 

Was 'I'm Still Here' winning Best International Feature the ultimate slap in the face to 'Emilia Pérez?'

 

Wasn't that sort of expected? 

 

Does it get any better than Mark Hamill coming out to John Williams?

 

Was Best Actor the most suspenseful award of the night? 

 

Did you breathe a sigh of relief or disappointment when Adrien Brody won? 

 

Was Cillian Murphy worried Brody would try to kiss him?

 

Did Brody's gum tossing top his infamous Halle Berry moment? 

 

Was his speech longer than 'The Brutalist?'

 

Did you notice Tarantino nodding and clapping with approval when Sean Baker talked about the importance of preserving the theatrical experience?

 

Was he preaching to the choir with that one? 

 

After seeing the poorly chosen Demi Moore clip, were you worried she may not have this in the bag after all? 

 

Did 'Anora''s screenplay, editing and directing wins forecast Mikey taking this? 

 

Didn't she give a really nice speech?

 

Though she hid it well, how disappointed must Demi be right now? 

 

Once Best Picture rolled around, wasn't 'Anora' winning inevitable?

 

But did you really expect it to clean up like it did?

 

Can Conan O' Brien do this again?

 

At this point, should any host just chalk it up as a victory they made it through the show without getting slapped? 

Anora

Director: Sean Baker

Starring: Mikey Madison, Mark Eydelshteyn, Yura Borisov, Karren Karagulian, Vache Tovmasyan, Aleksei Serbryakov, Darya Ekamasova, Luna Sofía Miranda, Lindsey Normington, Vincent Radwinsky
Running Time: 139 min.
Rating: R 

**The Following Review Contains Plot Spoilers For 'Anora' **

★★★½ (out of ★★★★)

Lost amid all the justifiable praise for writer/director Sean Baker's Anora is how quickly it flips, as a hilariously entertaining farce starts to become more movingly raw and real with each new crazy development. And in doing that it melds elements of different genres into a picture that opens rather conventionally, giving little hint of the wild, exhilarating ride to come. All those comparisons to Pretty Woman set the bar low, lulling viewers into anticipating Hollywood's latest take on the "hooker with a heart of gold." Only the trope isn't just subverted here, but turned upside down and shaken over the course of an energetically paced two hours and a half hours.

You'll know the point Baker pulls the trigger, as misadventures pile up around an arrangement that quickly goes south, derailing the title character's chances of cashing in on her dreams. What the cautiously optimistic protagonist experiences instead is a nightmare that's equal parts funny, violent and heartbreaking. It's all powered by Mikey Madison, who plays each moment with the grit and vulnerability of a woman desperately trying to salvage a rapidly deteriorating situation. As circumstances constantly change, she knows the handwriting's on the wall, but still won't go down without a fight, determined to control her own destiny.

Anora "Ani" Mikheeva (Madison) is a 23-year-old stripper and sex worker at a nightclub in Brighton Beach, Brooklyn who's introduced to Ivan "Vanya" Zakharov (Mark Eydelshteyn), the spoiled, hyperactive 21-year-old son of a wealthy Russian oligarch. After paying Ani for a series of sexual encounters at his family's lavish mansion, he offers her more to stay with him an entire week. But as they grow closer when she parties with him and his entourage in Vegas, Vanya proposes they marry so he can avoid returning to Russia to work for his father. Though initially hesitant, Ani agrees. 

After eloping, Ani quits her job and moves into Vanya's mansion when word of their marriage reaches his disapproving parents, who send Armenian relative Toros (Karren Karagulian) and his two thugs Garnik (Vache Tovmasyan) and Igor (Yura Borisov) over to force them into getting an annulment. But the bumbling Russians have their hands full with Ani, causing all hell to break loose as she struggles to save a relationship that's suddenly fallen way short of her lofty expectations. Now wondering if this impulsive decision was worth it, she could lose everything.

Baker teases a character study primarily focused on the life and career of a sex worker, but that's all setup to establish who Ani is before Vanya makes his whirlwind entrance. Goofily played  by Eydelshteyn as an unpredictable livewire, he initially seems no different to her than other clients, at least until arriving at the mansion. It would be easy see this as a con, with Vanya manipulating Ani to get a green card while she's after his money. But Baker has something a lot more complex in mind. 

Even if there's an underlying element of subconscious manipulation going on, the pair do forge a superficial connection that makes us want to believe in them as much as Ani. Plus, the immature, rascally Vanya isn't smart enough to think through any scheme, especially when his primary hobbies consist of partying, drugs and playing video games. But between his disposable wealth and fun loving attitude, the proposal still seems like a can't miss deal for Ani, who thinks she just punched a one-way ticket out of prostitution. Unfortunately, the carefree obliviousness that makes Vanya such a safe bet is what ends up derailing her life. 

What starts as a knock at the door from unwelcome intruders turns into this fight sequence so uproarious it could be mistaken for a Home Alone sequel, as these hired guns arrive to forcibly end a marriage Vanya probably would have sunk on his own anyway. The oafish Garnik and Igor botch a job that only worsens when their equally flustered boss arrives on the scene to discover Ani's more of a handful than they assumed. Armenian actor Karagulian's turn as Toros might be the film's most underappreciated, as his completely flustered character barges onto the scene totally unprepared, his priceless reactions and explosive outbursts stealing the show. And yet his angry ramblings can't be completely written off, forcing us to consider that everything he tells Ani about Vanya may be true.

It's only when Ani's dragged along on their loony search for Vanya that she gets an inkling of her new husband's cowardly true colors. Waiting for him to reemerge from hiding as a responsible adult willing to stand with her against his family is a lost cause. But that's a reality she'll need to see on her own once his parents enter the picture because their treatment of this say a lot. Madison's work reaches its fever pitch upon Ani fully recognizing what she avoided seeing all along, even if it's painfully clear this couldn't have gone another way.  

The three men tasked with resolving this debacle aren't especially prepared or invested. A discombobulated Toros flies off the handle, his brother Garnik is incompetent and the quiet, contemplative Igor hovers in the background, making awkward small talk with Ani when he's not physically restraining her. But we do get indications he's not like his two accomplices and would far rather sit this out. And boy does Borisov's performance sneak up on you, burning slowly until taking a pivotal turn late in the game, transforming how we see Ani, and ultimately, how she views herself. 

Fighting an unwinnable battle, Ani commits to leaving with her dignity intact, even as everything else falls apart. And with Baker hiding his biggest twist in plain sight the entire time, we have to peel ourselves away from this electrically charged chaos long enough to see it. The controversial final scene is a gut punch, as Ani expresses gratitude with the only transactional currency she knows, hating herself in the process. Devastating but still not the saddest of all possible outcomes, Anora leaves audiences contemplating how Ani's future very much remains in her own hands.