1. |
branded
02:18
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Left for dead in college
Should have packed a bag to bring you with
And I prepared to get you branded on me
But I didn’t think it’d happen so quick
Door to the lock, lock to the key
One final breath where you used to love to greet me
And one last surprise, my father’s shrine
To the dogs we loved but never will again
To the dog I love that’s something how not stop-
Ah
I should have come home
I ran like I was the dog
You can be the one off at college
I should have been the one they buried in the yard
I should have been the one they buried in the yard
Ah
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2. |
get em boy
02:04
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Drop it, stay, leave it
Yelling at me for an instant
Neck deep, goes limp, don’t feel it
Dripping red between my lips
Mangey, matted, could you love that?
I wasn’t jealous until you said it
Snuck in, stolen, hoped you’d notice
Front porch, dead gift
From man’s best friend
Drop it, stay, leave it
Instant self help, I don’t need it
Am I normal, human even?
To see you happy, and I want it
I want it
I want you
I want you
Don’t you like me?
Can we lie, and spend the night pretending?
What is it that you see
That I can’t see in me?
That I won’t see in me?
That I can’t see in me?
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3. |
BIRD WHISTLE
03:53
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You call me for my minutes
You call me from the airport
You tell me that you miss me
And I don’t know why that hurts
You tell me that I’m special
And through the windshield,
That little bird flew
You hold me ‘cross the Subaru console
And in that moment I knew
I’d never trust you, I’d never trust
A call from you
A little pink string that’s still attached to you
Despite what it brings
And I don’t know what I’d call you
And I don’t know why I answer you
Bird whistle
I come running to the fire
In hopes that you’re the water
A toad that a kiss will
Cure with a spell
Instead I put myself through hell
Just to know that you’re
“Well! And you?”
I know about your family
Your dad cursed me from the driver’s seat
I’m tangled in the shoulder of your history
And I don’t know why
You mean something to me
Bird whistle
I come running to the fire
In hopes that you’re the water
A toad that a kiss will
Cure with a spell
Instead I put myself through hell
Just to know that you’re
“Well! And you?”
And for a moment, just for a second
I loved you
Aren’t you provider? God’s drunkest driver?
I just flew
Bird whistle
I come running to the fire
In hopes that you’re the water
A toad that a kiss will
Cure with a spell
Instead I put myself through hell
Just to know that you’re “Well!”
Just to know that you’re “Well!”
Just to know that you’re
“Well! And you?”
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4. |
Red Hair Dye
03:12
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Red hair dye and a pair of scissors
If I cut it out, will I like me in mirrors?
If I spit it out at Thanksgiving dinner
What am I, what am I, what am I, what am I?
What am I, what am I, what am I, what am I?
Blue bed sheets on my childhood bed
If I throw it all out, does it kill what’s left
I’d take it back but I said what I said
But what if I, what if I, what if I, what if I?
But what if I, what if I, what if I, what if I?
Mama, when does it stop?
Mama, was I old enough?
Black car with a layer of dust
And the mem’ries of the summer that I shove in the trunk
And the grown up that you drop off at the airport parking lot
Is me, is me, is me, is me
Is me, is me, is me, is me
Mama, when does it stop?
Mama, was I old enough?
Mama, mama
(“Say hi leilani!”)
Mama, mama
(“Say hi leilani!”)
(“Come on let’s go home)
Mama, when does it stop?
Please mama, was I not enough?
Mama, mama, mama, mama
(Mama, was I not enough?)
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5. |
portrait
03:06
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I’d paint a nude portrait here
If I thought I was beautiful
We’d play cards on the table where
You’d touched where I’d gone cold
How can you like to touch
What I can’t bear to look at?
You ask to hold me after
And stay for forever
I’d really like that, I was gonna beg you
But you somehow always ask first
I gotta check the door
To make sure you’re not gonna want more
Tracing my stomach with all of your hands
You touch me like brushstrokes with gentle commands
Inside you let out a sound you can’t hide
Like you couldn’t take it, you had to be mine
It could all make sense
If only I let it, if only I let
Drink from your cups, and eat off your plate
You offer your last bite
And I’ll take it, I’ll take
Open the curtains, I’m leaving my window open
I’m gonna let it take over
I’m painting the walls with what’s left
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6. |
Cut
02:56
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There on the sill
Sits a vase full of flowers
I care for them still
Though their losing their color
And taking the candy
Though it makes me crazy
I'm not scared of you
Though I'm losing you lately
Ha ha
The kill
Its laced in your lips now
So say what you will
But I’m still keeping head down
And talking in my sleep
You're smiling in my dreams
I’m not scared of you
Cause I know you still miss me
Ha ha
Don’t you start
Don’t you need?
Please don’t stop
Smile when I tell you to leave
You couldn’t be the one to cut it off
And I couldn’t bear that I was finally enough
You brought the knife and then you lined it up
So I’ll cut I’ll cut I’ll cut you deep until you stop
I'm losing my senses
Feeling through the dark
Tripping over messes
Maybe one more try’s enough
In your half swollen eyes
You’re guiding the knife
I’m not scared of you
But I’ll do whatever you like
Don’t you start
Don’t you need?
Please don’t stop
Smile then you’re there in my dreams
You couldn’t be the one to cut it off
And I couldn’t bear that I was finally enough
You brought the knife and then you lined it up
So I’ll cut I’ll cut I’ll cut you deep until you stop
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Leilani Patao New York, New York
new york, ny
daisy coming soon
hope youre ready to listen
