Showing posts with label Joan Rivers. Show all posts

Tuesday, October 26, 2021

Life Lessons from Joan Rivers

By InterviewJune 16, 2021

Welcome to Life Lessons. This week, in honor of Gemini season, we revisit some of the most outlandish lines from our favorite Gemini— the late comedian and all-around icon Joan Rivers— as told to Interview in our November 1982, December 1984, and in January 1993 issues. Sit down and brace yourself—you just might learn a thing or two.

———

“I voted as a New York voter because you can look better at the polls. You can wear a better outfit. I’m a very shallow voter … I voted in beige.”

Obituaries / Joan Rivers

Joan Rivers 1965 — Joan Rivers poses for a portrait in New York, 1965. Photograph: Michael Ochs Archives/Getty Images

Joan Rivers obituary

Comedian whose trademarks were her cutting wit and her cosmetic surgery

Michael Carlson
Thu 4 Sep 2014

The quintessential acerbic Noo Yawker, the comedian Joan Rivers, who hasdied aged 81, was identified by the rasping, fingernails-on-the-blackboard voice, which added a frisson to her signature phrase, "Can we talk?" As she aged, her face and her countless cosmetic operations became another trademark, but her cutting wit, often aimed at herself, was the core of her comedy and proved an asset as she moved into hosting talk shows. Later she found a niche, often alongside her daughter, Melissa, interviewing her fellow celebrities and criticising their fashions on the red carpets of the myriad awards ceremonies with which the entertainment industry honours itself.

Joan Rivers

How I get dressed

JOAN RIVERS

Joan Rivers: Comedian, 72, loves designer clothes - as long as they're free

Nina Myskow
Sunday 14 May 2006

Do you have the expression 'knock-off' in Britain? Yeah, well the very first outfit I bought with my own money was an Ann Fogarty knock-off in black linen-like fabric. Linen-like, not real linen. You couldn't smoke within 100 yards of it, and the buttons were turning black in front of you.

Joan Rivers / Comedy

Joan Rivers

COMEDY

I wanted to be an actress. And when I would make the rounds to the agents, I would always make the secretaries laugh so they would remind the agent about me. Then someone said, ‘You can make a little money, your’e funny. A friend of mine is a stand-up, they make $8 a night. You should go down and be a stand-up.’ And I thought, ‘How great, I can do that at night and make the rounds during the day.’ And that’s how I started in comedy.

FICCIONES
Casa de citas / Joan Rivers / Éxito
Casa de citas / Joan Rivers / Mi obstetra
Casa de citas / Joan Rivers / Sexo II
Casa de citas / Joan Rivers / Sexo I
Casa de citas / Joan Rivers / Ayer es historia

DE OTROS MUNDOS
Joan Rivers en coma

DRAGON
Joan Rivers/ Constantly in the limelight and pursued by controversy
Joan Rivers / A life in pictures
Joan Rivers, pioneering comedian and entertainer, dies aged 81
Joan Rivers / Joan Collins, Adele, Paris Hilton, Rihanna and Liza Minelli / Quotes
Joan Rivers / Lenny Bruce
Joan Rivers / I was talking about my mother
Joan Rivers / Comedy

Joan Rivers / I was talking about my mother

Joan Rivers

I was talking about my mother

I was talking about having an affair with a married professor and that wasn’t a thing a nice Jewish girl talked about. And I was talking about my mother, desperate to get my sister and me married. I was talking about my gay friend Mr. Phyllis, and you just didn’t talk about that. It sounds so tame and silly now but my act spoke to women who weren’t able to talk about things. How nice it was to have a girl that’s fairly attractive stand up and say, ‘My mother wants me to get married but I don’t want to,’ or ‘I hated this date.’

FICCIONES
Casa de citas / Joan Rivers / Éxito
Casa de citas / Joan Rivers / Mi obstetra
Casa de citas / Joan Rivers / Sexo II
Casa de citas / Joan Rivers / Sexo I
Casa de citas / Joan Rivers / Ayer es historia

DE OTROS MUNDOS
Joan Rivers en coma

DRAGON
Joan Rivers/ Constantly in the limelight and pursued by controversy
Joan Rivers / A life in pictures
Joan Rivers, pioneering comedian and entertainer, dies aged 81
Joan Rivers / Joan Collins, Adele, Paris Hilton, Rihanna and Liza Minelli / Quotes
Joan Rivers / Lenny Bruce
Joan Rivers / I was talking about my mother
Joan Rivers / Comedy

Joan Rivers / Lenny Bruce

Lenny Bruce, 1961

Joan Rivers

LENNY BRUCE

And when I heard Lenny Bruce I suddenly realized, I’m absolutely on the right track here. I had seen Lenny Bruce very early on when I was on a date. He was just talking about the truth: he wasn’t doing mother-in-law jokes, because he didn’t have a mother -in-law. He was talking from his life experiences. I thought to myself, ‘My God, he’s doing what I”m doing.’ I was talking about things that were really true.

FICCIONES
Casa de citas / Joan Rivers / Éxito
Casa de citas / Joan Rivers / Mi obstetra
Casa de citas / Joan Rivers / Sexo II
Casa de citas / Joan Rivers / Sexo I
Casa de citas / Joan Rivers / Ayer es historia

DE OTROS MUNDOS
Joan Rivers en coma

DRAGON
Joan Rivers/ Constantly in the limelight and pursued by controversy
Joan Rivers / A life in pictures
Joan Rivers, pioneering comedian and entertainer, dies aged 81
Joan Rivers / Joan Collins, Adele, Paris Hilton, Rihanna and Liza Minelli / Quotes
Joan Rivers / Lenny Bruce
Joan Rivers / I was talking about my mother
Joan Rivers / Comedy

Joan Rivers / Joan Collins, Adele, Paris Hilton, Rihanna and Liza Minelli / Quotes

Joan Rivers

by Joan Rivers

Joan Rivers / Joan Collins, Adele, Paris Hilton, Rihanna and Liza Minelli

Quotes

"I spit on education. No man will ever put his hand up your dress looking for a library card."

"I bought a pedigree dog for $300. My friend said, "Give me $300. and I'll shit on your carpet."

"Joan Collins lies about her age so much we should have her body carbon-dated."

"Gay marriage - I am so against it because all my gay friends are out. And if they get married, it will cost me a fortune in gifts."

"When I saw her sex tape, all I could think of were Paris Hilton's poor parents. The shame, the shame of the Hilton family. To have your daughter do a porno film... in a Marriott hotel."

"I blame myself for David Gest. It was me who told Liza Minnelli to find herself a man who wouldn't sleep with other women."

"Rihanna confessed to Oprah Winfrey that she still loves Chris Brown. Idiot! Now it's MY turn to slap her."

"Congratulations to Adele on the birth of her 68 pound 8 ounces bouncing baby boy."

FICCIONES
Casa de citas / Joan Rivers / Éxito
Casa de citas / Joan Rivers / Mi obstetra
Casa de citas / Joan Rivers / Sexo II
Casa de citas / Joan Rivers / Sexo I
Casa de citas / Joan Rivers / Ayer es historia

DE OTROS MUNDOS
Joan Rivers en coma

DRAGON
Joan Rivers/ Constantly in the limelight and pursued by controversy
Joan Rivers / A life in pictures
Joan Rivers, pioneering comedian and entertainer, dies aged 81
Joan Rivers / Joan Collins, Adele, Paris Hilton, Rihanna and Liza Minelli / Quotes
Joan Rivers / Lenny Bruce
Joan Rivers / I was talking about my mother
Joan Rivers / Comedy

Friday, September 5, 2014

Joan Rivers, pioneering comedian and entertainer, dies aged 81

Rivers, who ascended to the pinnacle of US showbusiness in a career spanning five decades, dies a week after suffering cardiac arrest

Obituary: Joan Rivers

Amanda Holpuch and Nicky Woolf in New York
The Guardian, Thursday 4 September 2014 23.43 BST

Joan Rivers has died in New York — Comedian Joan Rivers arrives for the premiere of the documentary "Joan Rivers - A Piece Of Work" during the 2010 Sundance Film Festival in Park City, Utah Photograph: Lucas Jackson/Reuters

The comedian Joan Rivers, whose mastery of the acid one-liner never wavered in a career that spanned five decades and many more surgical procedures, died on Thursday, aged 81.

Joan Rivers: a life in pictures

The pioneering entertainer and comedian has died aged 81. Rivers got her big break with an appearance on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson in 1965 and was a TV mainstay from then on

Joan Rivers obituary

The Guardian, Thursday 4 September 2014

Where it all started - Comedian Joan Rivers,with The Tonight Show host Johnny Carson 1976 -- — Where it all started: comedian Joan Rivers with Tonight Show host Johnny Carson in 1976. Photograph: NBC/Getty Images

Film 'JOAN RIVERS: A PIECE OF WORK' (2010)
Directed By RICKI STERN & ANNE SUNDBERG
25 January 2010 — A still from the film Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work (2010) directed By Ricki Stern and Anne Sundberg. Photograph: Allstar/IFC FILMS/Sportsphoto Ltd

Joan Rivers runs out of the QVC Red Carpet Style- Live in L.A. event covered in cake at The Four Seasons Hotel on February 28, 2014 — Joan Rivers runs out of a QVC red carpet style event covered in cake at The Four Seasons Hotel in February. Photograph: Angela Weiss/WireImage

Joan Rivers appearing at the Festival Theatre, Edinburgh Festival Fringe 24/08/2001 — Joan Rivers at the Festival Theatre at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe in 2001. Photograph: Murdo Macleod for the Guardian

Joan Rivers and her daughter, Melissa, from the TV Guide Channel, blow kisses as they arrive for the 57th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards Sept. 18, 2005, at the Shrine Auditorium in Los Angeles — Joan Rivers and her daughter, Melissa, from the TV Guide Channel, blow kisses as they arrive for Emmy awards in 2005. Photograph: Kevork Djansezian/AP

First appearance on Tonight Show after Johnny Carson banned her from the show. Joan Rivers during an interview with host Jimmy Fallon on March 27, 2014 - — Rivers’ first appearance on Tonight Show after Johnny Carson banned her from the show in 1986. Photograph: NBC/Getty Images

Joan Rivers Hamming it up on Watch What Happens Live
4/16/14| — Hamming it up on Watch What Happens in April. Photograph: Bravo/Getty Images

American comedian Joan Rivers, circa 1985. Photograph: Harry Langdon/Popperfoto/Getty Images

Rivers poses for photographers as she presents Comedy Roast with Joan Rivers in Cannes in 2009. Photograph: Eric Gaillard/Reuters

Joan Rivers with Ed Sullivan on THE Ed Sullivan Show. Image dated May 22, 1966. — Joan Rivers with Ed Sullivan on The Ed Sullivan Show in May 1966. Photograph: CBS/Getty Images

American comedian Joan Rivers at the Best of Vegas Awards, Las Vegas, 21st March 1980. — Rivers at the Best of Vegas Awards in March 1980. Photograph: Ron Galella/WireImage

Joan Rivers performs on stage as part of the The Prince's Trust comedy gala We Are Most Amused at Royal Albert Hall on November 28, 2012 in London, England. — Rivers performs on stage as part of the The Prince’s Trust comedy gala at Royal Albert Hall in 2012. Photograph: Christie Goodwin/Getty Images

Promotional portrait of American comedian and actor Joan Rivers, 1980s. — Promotional portrait Rivers from the 1980s. Photograph: Hulton Archive/Getty Images

Talk show host Oprah Winfrey during an interview with guest host Joan Rivers on the Tonight Show on January 27, 1986 — Talk show host Oprah Winfrey during an interview with guest host Joan Rivers on the Tonight Show in 1986. Photograph: NBC/Getty Images

Comedian Joan Rivers poses for a portrait circa 1965 in New York. Photograph: Michael Ochs Archives/Getty Images

10th Anniversary Party of The Tonight Show Joan Rivers with her husband producer Edgar Rosenberg September 30, 1972 — 10th Anniversary Party of The Tonight Show Joan Rivers with her husband producer Edgar Rosenberg in 1972. Photograph: NBC/Getty Images

Winning Celebrity Apprentice May 2009 — Rivers winning Celebrity Apprentice in 2009. Photograph: NBC/Getty Images

Joe Piscopo as Joan Rivers and Joan Rivers as Joan Rivers during the Joan vs. Joan skit on April 9, 1983, Saturday Night Live. — Joe Piscopo as Joan Rivers and Joan Rivers as Joan Rivers during the Joan vs Joan skit Saturday Night Live in 1983. Photograph: NBC/Getty Images

Joe Piscopo as Joan Rivers and Joan Rivers as Joan Rivers during the Joan vs Joan skit Saturday Night Live in 1983. Photograph: NBC/Getty Images

Joan Rivers / Constantly in the limelight and pursued by controversy

Joan Rivers

Joan Rivers: constantly in the limelight and pursued by controversy

Obituary: The comedian and show host once apologised for an incident concluding in her being taken off air: 'I'm sorry I fucking swore'

By Michael Carlson
The Guardian, Thursday 4 September 2014

Joan Rivers poses for a portrait in New York, 1965. Photograph: Michael Ochs Archives/Getty Images

The quintessential acerbic Noo Yawker, the comedian Joan Rivers, who has died aged 81, was identified by the rasping, fingernails-on-the-blackboard voice, which added a frisson to her signature phrase, "Can we talk?" As she aged, her face and her countless cosmetic operations became another trademark, but her cutting wit, often aimed at herself, was the core of her comedy and proved an asset as she moved into hosting talk shows. Later she found a niche, often alongside her daughter, Melissa, interviewing her fellow celebrities and criticising their fashions on the red carpets of the myriad awards ceremonies with which the entertainment industry honours itself.

Joan Rivers / This much I Know / I hate my body

Joan Rivers

Interview

This much I know

I hate my body. Every morning I wake up and say: "What have you done to me now, God?"

Joan Rivers, comedian, 75, London

Elizabeth Day

Sunday 24 May 2009

Funny is all in the genes. You can't learn funny. My father was hilarious. He was a physician and his patients would laugh until they died. Literally.

I was the outcast of the family. We were very education oriented. If I'd said I wanted to be a physicist or the president, my parents would have said: "Absolutely." When I said: "Show business" they went out of their minds. They thought I'd end up in the circus performing in bad tights.

I'm a total pessimist. It's not that the glass is half empty. Someone stole the glass.

A lot of Hollywood stars aren't aware that adopting a child isn't just a photo op. I was at a dinner party where one actress had adopted a child from Africa and she was saying: "I want my children to know their heritage." I said: "Lock them in a room and throw them a jar of flies."

I think my daughter and I are close because we live 3,000 miles apart.Melissa is totally the opposite of me in many ways, but I know she's got my back and I've got hers.

I love being recognised. It makes the whole world your home town. When my husband committed suicide [Rivers's second husband, the film producer Edgar Rosenberg, overdosed on prescription drugs in 1987] I went to New York and a man collecting the garbage would say: "Hey Joanie! You'll get through this." People in the grocery store would say: "I lit a candle for you last night." I thought: "My God, the whole city cares." People can be a great comfort.

I didn't feel guilty [when Rosenberg died]. I was as good a wife as I could have been to him. He was such a complicated man. He'd been going to a psychiatrist, and after he killed himself the psychiatrist came to my house and said: "I had no idea." That's how closed off he was.

The New York Times says you can have six great loves in your life. I still have two to go, and they better hurry. I like a man my age. But a man my age likes a 25-year-old centrefold.

There's nothing nice about getting older. You do not get wiser - you just forget how stupid you are.

I've never been happy with how I look. I hate my body. Every morning I wake up and say: "What have you done to me now, God?" These days I wear a miniskirt and my breasts hang out from under the hems. But then if I were good-looking I might never have been funny.

If plastic surgery makes you feel better, do it. All women in our business do it. They say: "I've never had anything done." Meanwhile they go to the bathroom and shit through their ears.

When I get heckled, I play the age card: "I've been doing this for 45 years and I don't want to destroy your life now", whereas in truth I have nothing to say.

I lived for nine years with a man who lost one leg in the second world war. It took him a good four months before he took his leg off in front of me. Then after a while you're stepping over it to get to the bathroom.

I'm very formal. I have finger bowls. My apartment looks like the Ritz. The only thing you are allowed to point at over the dinner table is French pastries.

I voted for Obama but I'm getting sick of Michelle's arms. OK, so you work out. Even Jackie O wore a jacket.

I don't believe in an afterlife. I think it will be like when they put you under for an operation and it's a black, velvet sleep. Wonderful.

THE GUARDIAN