Belly of a Whale If I had to be a barnacle, I'd like to be on the belly of a whale. If I had to be that barnacle, me and my whale, we would see the world. Oh my baby, there's nothing too small to be. If I had to be a spider, I would be a daddy-long-legs. So I wouldn't bite you when you were sleeping, but I could tiptoe across your face. I'm not creepy, baby, I just love your skin. If I had to be a natural disaster, I would be an earthquake so I could prove my shake is unparalleled and I could change up this place. Oh my baby, let me rumble on. I said, oh baby, let me rumble on. Well, if I had to be an explosion, I would be a star. If I had to be that explosion, a hole in the sky I would carve. Oh my baby, I could be the best kind of high. I could be the best high. Oh my baby, I could be the best high. [End Vamp / Impro] If I had to be a barnacle, I'd rather be a whale, I'd rather fly, but throw it my way and I will try. Just throw it my way, and I will try. Yes throw it my way, and I will try. I will be the best damn barnacle you've ever seen.

I want to be your neighbour. I want to sometimes steal your Sunday newspaper – just for the crosswords. I want to run into you, in the hall. I’ll say, ‘Hey, this building sucks, when’s the landlord going to clean his shit up.’ I want to pick up your mail when you leave town. I want to turn on your lights so it seems like you’re still around. Well know, [Chorus] And I can pretend like I don’t hear it when you and your lover get kind of funky. And I can pretend like I don’t know what it sounds like when you make love – I’ll look you in the eyes, and stuff. If you need some sugar – I mean the baking kind – just knock on my door, [knock knock knock] you can have mine. And I don’t want to be the one to smell your body decompose. I want to be the one who calls when I hear a boom bang on the floor. We’ll say, ‘Hi,’ in the stairs, and we’ll put those little felt tips on the feet of all our chairs – it’s what good neighbours do, do do do I think of you. [Chorus] If I’m having a party, won’t you come on by. And if we’re getting too loud and bawdy, don’t call the cops, just steal our wine. That’s just fine for you. It’s what good neighbours do ya do ya do I think of you, you think of me, I think of you, ya think of we I said we do we do we do Oh we do now, we do now, we do, we do, we do (etc.)

I get nervous, just thinking about you I get nervous, just thinking about you And I keep thinking about your lips and what they could do And I keep thinking about your lips and what they should do Oh damn, I stopped listening Maybe it's spring Or maybe I am into you Maybe it's spring Or maybe I am into you — who knows who knows Oh, let’s walk a little longer No, I’m not cold I always shiver Maybe if the weather gets a little bit better I will come down Maybe if the weather gets a little bit wetter I will calm down Or maybe I won’t And maybe it's spring Or maybe I am into you Maybe it's spring Or maybe I am into you Maybe it's spring — who knows who knows Here come the leaves and here comes me Here come the leaves and here comes me Baby we’ve been bested by biology Baby we’ve been bested by biology But who cares And maybe it's spring Or maybe I am into you Maybe it's spring Or maybe I am into you Maybe it’s just a little weather getting under my feathers I don’t know I don’t mind, I don’t know I don’t mind But baby I would chase you right around the world for that sweet behind Oh, let’s walk a little longer No, I’m not cold I always shiver Baby we’ve been bested by biology Baby we’ve been bested by biology

So I tried to find An internet lover - don’t say I’m behind the times. Well, four days later I have three new clients For English lessons, but no date, no digital lover I guess I should have swiped the dick pics Should have shown more boob, boob, boob, just all of my boobs. But how can I date you if I’ve never smelled you That seems weird to me. And why do you make me realize that my written French Is all in the same tense Everything’s past complete, le passé composé J’ai comme oublié comment conjuguer Tous les autres temps de verbe J’ai perdu l’imparfait Conditionnel fait chier And baby, fuck the subjunctive Oh oh oh well, I never did so well in my home town anyway, So what do you say I will teach you anglais And if you smell good on s’embrassera On se frenchera C’était tu bien ça? Is that how you conjugate it? This is Montreal on a dating app With so many languages, it’s hard to bridge the gaps. See half of us are francophone And half of us are anglophone And half of us are allophone And that’s a lot of halves. Hey man, I just want to french someone who smells good and isn't too intense. Hey man, je veux juste frencher Quelqu’un qui sens bon et qui me plaît Elles se frenchent, ils se frenchent ils se sont frenchés, nous allons nous frencher, Vous vous êtes frenchés On se frenchera Je te frenche là là là Mais finalement, That means in the end, Finalement je fini toujours par me frencher That means I french myself This is Montréal, baby, on a dating app. Montréal bébé, I want to french you all.

Under the underlight of the night and under the ground and out of the moonlight. You know, the subway writing reads as it lives and I'm going home alone, once again. Anyone I might have called has already gone to bed. Anyone I might call 'you' is already with someone else – is already with someone I call, else. I know you steal my blankets. I know you kick me in my sleep but it's so goddamn cold in here and I don't want to pay for my heat. When I was a mermaid, I could be shallow or deep. I could be the same temperature in my fins and my feet. I never had to worry about where I might sleep because the space is all just shared down there in the deep. The mermen that you meet, they're really something sweet: they always know just what you need and they're always so damn proud to please – it's really nice. I could use one tonight. I know you steal my blankets. I know you kick me in my sleep but it's so goddamn cold in here and I don't want to pay for my heat. Where are you deep sea D'Angelo? Where are you my young-man-underwater-Marlon-Brando? I could use you tonight. I know you steal my blankets. I know you kick me in my sleep but it's so goddamn cold in here and I don't want to pay for my heat.

Baby come over To my 3 and a half We can pour our great big bodies Into my teeny tiny bath Now I don’t fit in my bedframe And maybe you don’t too, who knows, I’m taller baby But I can reach everything on every shelf And here I go, reaching out for you Oh baby baby [Pre-chorus] If you come o-o–-o-over There’s nothing much here to do Oh baby believe me if you come o o over There’s nothing to do, nothing to do, nothing to do But be a body here with you Just be a body here with you Now I don’t have a couch I don’t have a dining table or lounge chair And every single surface of my home is threaded in my very long hair I guess I’ve got some books, I would love, I would love To hear in your mouth And I’ve got a teeny tiny room where we can get real big and real loud Oh baby baby [Pre-chorus] If you come o-o–-o-over There’s nothing much here to do Oh baby believe me if you come o-o-over There’s nothing to do, nothing to do, nothing to do But be a body here with you Just be a body here with you -u- u [Bridge] And I know you’re still wondering What the fuck is a 3 and a half Don’t worry about it baby And I know you’re still wondering If we could actually fit in my bath Probably not baby But I I I could sure use An afternoon With fuck all to do But be a body here with you Just be a body here with you you you [Outro vamp] I wanna know I wanna know I wanna know How fast or slow your teeny tiny hairs They grow I’d like to see which of us gets more sweaty, and is it me Just be bodies, just be bodies here with you

Si j’étais une crevette, Je n’aurais pas à dormir la nuit Manger, nager, et parfois danser, Ce serait ma vie Oh Oh baby, les crevettes vivent leurs rêves Si j’étais un vers solitaire, Je serai sociable pour toi Si j’étais ce vers solitaire, Tu serai toucher profondément Oh oh baby, j’adore ça partager Si j’étais un mille pattes, On prendrai toutes nos douches ensemble Si j’étais ce mille pattes, Je te tripoterai tout doucement Oh oh baby tu rêverai de mes jambes Oh oh baby, tout doucement Si j’étais une méduse, je ne vieillirais pas Mes tresses pleines de harpons, mon corps tout brillant, La déesse des eaux profondes Oh oh baby, check moi Poséidon Oh oh baby, check moi Poséidon

I remember you and our game too How we pretended that we had been married And known each other twelve long years Instead of two days, instead of two days We went to the pharmacy together And we watched the game We even went to the goddamn museum And bet on history’s glory and shames And I don’t know your mother’s name And I don’t know your home address But we look so fine and real together With your suit and my best Sweater of holes, my best sweater of holes But wasn’t it nice Two days of invented life Two days of a husband or a wife or something of the like Wasn’t it nice? And I want to know What stars are you with tonight What stars are you with tonight I hope they’re shooting and bright I hope they’re shooting and bright I hope you find all the sweet sweet light that you need in your night And the good good dark of the day I hope you love your life, I hope you’re shooting, I hope you’re shooting and bright