Lou Costello credited as playing...
Wilbur Gray
- [last lines]
- Wilbur Grey: And another thing Mr. Chick Young! The next time I tell you that I saw something when I saw it, you believe me that I saw it!
- Chick Young: Oh relax. Now that we've seen the last of Dracula, the Wolf Man, and the Monster, there's nobody to frighten us anymore.
- Invisible Man: Oh, that's too bad. I was hoping to get in on the excitement.
- Chick Young: Who said that?
- Invisible Man: Allow me to introduce myself. I'm the Invisible Man.
- Chick Young: What's the matter?
- Larry Talbot: I know you'll think I'm crazy, but... in a half-an-hour the moon will rise and I'll turn into a wolf.
- Wilbur Grey: You and 20 million other guys!
- Wilbur Grey: Well that's gonna cost you overtime because I'm a union man and I work only sixteen hours a day.
- McDougal: A union man only works eight hours a day.
- Wilbur Grey: I belong to two unions.
- Chick Young: You're making enough noise to wake up the dead!
- Wilbur Grey: I don't have to wake him up. He's up.
- Chick Young: I know there's no such person as Dracula. You know there's no such person as Dracula.
- Wilbur Grey: But does Dracula know it?
- Chick Young: You still want your exhibits?
- McDougal: Of course I do.
- Wilbur Grey: Here comes one of 'em now!
- Chick Young: What I'd like to know is, what does he got they I haven't got?
- Dr. Sandra Mornay: A brain.
- Wilbur: [flattered] Oh, a brain.
- Chick Young: I'd like to know where it is.
- Chick Young: Get up on your feet. It's only a dummy
- Wilbur Grey: Dummy nothin'. It was smart enough to scare me.
- McDougal: My name's McDougal, now where are my shipments?
- Wilbur Grey: McDougal? I just got off the phone with you in London, how'd you get here so fast, did you shoot out of a cannon?
- Wilbur Grey: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
- Wilbur Grey: Who screamed?
- Chick Young: You did.
- Chick Young: [amused] I did?
- Dr. Sandra Mornay: Look into my eyes!
- [Wilbur looks into her eyes and sees two bats flapping their wings]
- Dr. Sandra Mornay: Don't you know what's going to happen now?
- Wilbur Grey: I'll bite.
- Dr. Sandra Mornay: No, I will.
- [Trying to evade the monster, Wilbur puts on a black cloak over his face]
- Wilbur Grey: [imitating Dracula] Back! Back!
- The Monster: Yes, master.
- Wilbur Grey: [takes off cloak and turns to Chuck] He thinks I'm Dracula!
- Joan Raymond: Oh Wilbur, can't we both come along too?
- Wilbur Grey: Yes, mon amour.
- Wilbur Grey: That's Spanish.
- Chick Young: That's French.
- Wilbur Grey: How do you like that, I speak French too.
- Chick Young: I'm going out to get the other crate. And no back talk!
- Wilbur Grey: I've got just two words to say to you.
- Chick Young: What is that?
- Wilbur Grey: Hurry back.
- Wilbur Grey: I've got a date. In fact I've got two dates.
- Larry Talbot: But you and I 'have a date with destiny'.
- Wilbur Grey: Let Chick go with Destiny.
- Larry Talbot: So! We meet again, Count Dracula.
- Dracula: Dracula?
- Wilbur Grey: Yes. That's who he says you are.
- Dracula: Oh. My costume perhaps?
- Chick Young: [jokingly] No. Talbot here thinks you're the real thing.
- Wilbur Grey: Uh-huh. Right out of McDougal's House of Horrors.
- Dracula: What an odd hallucination. But, the human mind is often inflamed with strange complexes. I suggest you consult your physician, Mr. Talbot.
- Chick Young: [referring to Wilbur] And take him along with you, please.
- Wilbur Grey: [Larry Talbot's called about Mr. McDougal's packages and is turning into the wolf, growling and snarling] Mr. McDougal, will you stop gargling your throat?
- [growling continues]
- Wilbur Grey: Hey, you're gonna have to get your dog away from the phone, I can't hear a word you're saying.
- [growling and snarling continues]
- Wilbur Grey: You're awful silly to call me all the way from London just to have your dog talk to me.
- [hears the snarling and barks in response]
- Wilbur Grey: You know that person you said there's no such person? I think he's in there... in person. I was reading this sign over here, Dracula's Legend. All of a sudden I heard...
- [Wilbur imitates a creaking noise]
- Chick Young: That's the wind.
- Wilbur Grey: It should get oiled.