Jerry Lewis credited as playing...
Seymour
- Seymour: The least you could do is show me some sympathy, Steve. When you was sick, I was very considerate. Remember when the doctor gave you only 30 days to live?
- Steve Laird: Yes!
- Seymour: Didn't I go out and get you a calender?
- Seymour: And that's how Steve and I became pals. But he's too easygoing. He's not like me. Somebody does something I consider an offense, I don't take it. I fight back. I revolt.
- Irma Peterson: Oh, Seymour that's a sign of character and I admire you for it. I like men who are offensive and revolting.
- Professor Kropotkin: My little pigeon!
- Seymour: Who's a pigeon?
- Professor Kropotkin: It's only me, Professor Kropotkin.
- Jane Stacy: Well, hello, Professor.
- Irma Peterson: Hi, Professor.
- Professor Kropotkin: Oh, Jane and Irma, my two little proud beauties! One with her head in the air and the other with air in her head.
- Al: Now, there's the mirror. Take a look at yourself. Now, if you notice, you have deep expression in your eyes and a very sensitive chin - all the qualities of a legitimate actor - maybe even a great lover.
- Seymour: Yeah, but isn't my voice too high?
- Al: Not necessarily. You can make love to tall girls.