John Lund credited as playing...
Al
- [at the Unemployment Insurance office]
- Bill: What are you doing back here again? You just got your check this morning!
- Al: This is an emergency. Ah, Bill, could I have an advance? Promise you, will not get another job for a week.
- Bill: It's against the rules, Al!
- Al: Fine thing! Been coming here four years steady and can't build up a credit rating?
- Al: Now, there's the mirror. Take a look at yourself. Now, if you notice, you have deep expression in your eyes and a very sensitive chin - all the qualities of a legitimate actor - maybe even a great lover.
- Seymour: Yeah, but isn't my voice too high?
- Al: Not necessarily. You can make love to tall girls.
- Al: Okay, Chicken. Get on the phone.
- Irma Peterson: But I don't know what to say.
- Al: Just say you're calling for Miss Jane Stacy. She's been delayed, she's only half-dressed, and it would take a load off her mind if you would pick her up at her house instead of at the bar. Got it?
- Irma Peterson: Got it, word-for-word.
- [into telephone]
- Irma Peterson: Hello?
- Al: [covering the receiver] Just to play it safe, let me have it back.
- Irma Peterson: Uh... "She would like you to pick her up here because she's half-dressed, half-loaded, and would make a very easy pick-up."
- Al: Got anything to drink at your place?
- Irma Peterson: We have milk.
- Al: Milk? Chicken, this guy's a multi-millionaire. A blue blood. He's used to the best. I'll go out and get a couple bottles of beer.
- [the radio contest calls Irma's home after her friends find her suicide note]
- Al: How do you like that? They're calling Chicken from the contest and she has to pick a moment like this to knock herself off. That dame never had no consideration!
- Al: Chicken, you're cryin'. What's happened?... You didn't lose your job?
- Irma Peterson: Oh, no.
- Al: Oh, you had me scared for a minute.
- Al: Chicken, believe me. You've got no chance to win this contest.
- Irma Peterson: Why not?
- Al: For one thing, all contest winners live in one of two places - Butte, Montana, or Keokuk, Iowa.
- Irma Peterson: I'll move.
- Al: ...And the only other way you can win a contest is if you have a husband who isn't working and you 're the mother of 32 children.