Frank Sinatra credited as playing...
Dennis Ryan
- Eddie O'Brien: How many times have I told you to pick on somebody your size?
- Dennis Ryan: There ain't nobody my size.
- Eddie O'Brien, Dennis Ryan: [singing] Keep your seats, hold your hats, It's not the finish of the show! The love scene must be played out, Before the final fade out.
- Eddie O'Brien: Sinatra gets Garrett.
- Dennis Ryan: Kelly gets Williams.
- Eddie O'Brien, Dennis Ryan: For that's the plot the author wrote! So, turn this duet, into a quartet, And end it on a happy note...
- Eddie O'Brien, Dennis Ryan, K.C. Higgins, Shirley Delwyn: [singing] It's strictly USA
- Eddie O'Brien: Take Judy Garland.
- Dennis Ryan: Take Kathryn Grayson.
- Shirley Delwyn: Take Mr. Crosby!
- K.C. Higgins: Or Fred Astaire!
- K.C. Higgins: [singing] Back East it's "Hey, Bud!"
- Dennis Ryan: Down South it's "Hi Ya'll!"
- Shirley Delwyn: Cowboy's say "Howdy!"
- Nat Goldberg: Injuns say "How!"
- Eddie O'Brien: No matter where you meet folks, It's the real American way of greetin' folks...
- Dennis Ryan: So, she hits me over the head with her own club. Slings me over her shoulder. Carries me out of the cave into the woods.
- Eddie O'Brien: And what'd you do?
- Dennis Ryan: I don't know. I was unconscious.
- Eddie O'Brien: You dope. You missed the best part of the dream.
- Dennis Ryan: You think so?
- Dennis Ryan: Why, I could have knocked the big lug for a loop! It's just that - well, I didn't want to hurt my hands.
- Eddie O'Brien: Oh, sure.
- Dennis Ryan: Well, you don't want me to show up to Spring Training with a busted hand, do ya?
- Dennis Ryan: Gee, it's gonna be great to be back in that ol' ball game again! I can hear the umps now, "Batteries for the day, Rube Waddell and Ossee Schreck." Kinda chokes you up, doesn't it.
- Eddie O'Brien: [sarcastically] Yeah, it chokes me. When I think of all the dames I lost cause I had to be in bed by ten o'clock.
- Dennis Ryan: Play a lot of checkers by ten o'clock.
- Eddie O'Brien: No, sir, brother. Give me vaudeville, any time. And maybe a musical show: Fifty girls, fifty. Maybe even a hundred girls, a hundred. Oh, boy!
- Dennis Ryan: Gee, I suppose it would be more fun than playin' checkers.
- Eddie O'Brien: [two girls walk past] Hey, they smiled at us. Let's go talk to them.
- Dennis Ryan: We don't even know them.
- Eddie O'Brien: But, I feel like talking. I'm a very sociable fellow!
- Dennis Ryan: Well, eh, let's go talk to those fellows over there.
- Eddie O'Brien: Denny, it ain't the same.
- Dennis Ryan: Gee! Ain't that somethin'? She's the kinda girl I've always dreamed about. Wouldn't it be wonderful to be married to a girl who played baseball? Gee.
- Eddie O'Brien: Denny, this is it. If she's a dame, she wants romance. And she's a dame. Denny, here's your chance. A touch of the hand, a subtle caress, a few tender little nothings whispered in the moonlight. Denny, it's up to you.
- Dennis Ryan: But, I don't know any tender little nothings, Ed.
- Nat Goldberg: It's been my experience the athletic type girl, like Higgins, might go for the cave man approach. Like this, "Come here! Err - Err. Errr! And wham!" Handle her rough, Denny.
- Dennis Ryan: That's a great big moon, ain't it?
- K.C. Higgins: Yes, it certainly is. It's a lovely moon.
- Dennis Ryan: How's that?
- K.C. Higgins: I said it's a lovely moon.
- Nat Goldberg: What are you running away for? What's the matter with you?
- Eddie O'Brien: She just wants to mother ya.
- Dennis Ryan: What? With a whip in her hand? Are you crazy or something?
- Eddie O'Brien, Dennis Ryan, Slappy Burke, K.C. Higgins, Shirley Delwyn, Party-Goers: [singing] Look away, look away, It's a lovely day today in the USA! Like a great big strawberry short-cake, Or a turkey on Thanksgiving Day, Like the Fourth of July or apple pie, It's strictly USA, Like a hot dog covered with mustard...
- Shirley Delwyn: Sometimes a person thinks a person is his type of person and all of the sudden he meets another type of person who turns out to be really his type of person. You know what I mean?
- Dennis Ryan: No. And I don't believe ya. Besides, when the right one comes along, I'll know.
- Shirley Delwyn: I'll wait.
- Dennis Ryan: Come here, you. Well, come here! Kiss me.
- [kiss]
- Dennis Ryan: Have any kick in it?
- Shirley Delwyn: Ah-huh!
- Dennis Ryan: Good. I was beginning to worry a little bit.
- Dennis Ryan: Katherine is beautiful. She's smart.
- Eddie O'Brien: And she's got a great throwing arm.
- Dennis Ryan: A great throwing arm. You just don't look any further. Remember that night we saw her swimming in the pool? Remember?
- Eddie O'Brien: No.
- Dennis Ryan: No, he says. In that gold bathing suit. Mmmm. Hey, you're droolin'. Yeah, but, Shirley's my type. Yeah, she's kinda timid and sorta shy. You should have seen me sweep her off her feet. That's what they like: the rough stuff. Yesiree. You gotta treat 'em rough. Cave man stuff! Yeah, they like that cave man stuff.
- Dennis Ryan: [Watching K.C. & O'Brien talking] You sure they're talking about me?
- Nat Goldberg: Positive. They're laughing, aren't they?