Dean Martin credited as playing...
Sgt. Vic Puccinelli
- Pvt. Jack Edwards: Hi ya Sarge. Been waiting up for me?
- 1st Sgt. Vic Puccinelli: How come you're late Edwards?
- Pvt. Jack Edwards: I was drunk.
- 1st Sgt. Vic Puccinelli: I don't blame you. With a kisser like that, I'd be loaded all the time.
- Pfc. Alvin Korwin: I'm warning you, you're driving me crazy.
- 1st Sgt. Vic Puccinelli: That's no drive, that's a short putt!
- Pfc. Alvin Korwin: Remember that song we wrote together?
- 1st Sgt. Vic Puccinelli: Yeah, what about it?
- Pfc. Alvin Korwin: We got a telegram from the music publisher and he wants us to put the song on a record and send it to him right away.
- 1st Sgt. Vic Puccinelli: Go ahead and make a record of it.
- Pfc. Alvin Korwin: No, I want you should record it.
- 1st Sgt. Vic Puccinelli: Get Bing Crosby.
- Pfc. Alvin Korwin: I like you better.
- Pfc. Alvin Korwin: Pick it up.
- 1st Sgt. Vic Puccinelli: Pick what up?
- Pfc. Alvin Korwin: [sternly] Pick up the bag, *private*!
- [Vic picks up Korwin's bag, they look at each other and smile, reaches for it]
- Pfc. Alvin Korwin: I'll take the bag.
- 1st Sgt. Vic Puccinelli: [annoyed] Alright alright!
- Pfc. Alvin Korwin: [mocking] Alright, alright! Big man! A couple of stinkin' stripes, big deal!
- 1st Sgt. Vic Puccinelli: Go home and wash your face!
- Pfc. Alvin Korwin: [mocking] Go home and wash your face! Look at him; General Delivery.