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Fred Astaire, Arlene Dahl, Red Skelton, and Vera-Ellen in Three Little Words (1950)

Fred Astaire: Bert Kalmar

Three Little Words

Fred Astaire credited as playing...

Bert Kalmar

Photos7

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Quotes16

  • Bert Kalmar: I wouldn't write that song with you if you begged me.
  • Harry Ruby: Begged ya? I didn't even ask ya.
  • Bert Kalmar: I guess you just can't help it, Harry. I feel sorry for you.
  • Harry Ruby: Feel sorry for me? You must think I'm just a...
  • Bert Kalmar: I could tell you what I think of you in just three little words. You're a dope!
  • Bert Kalmar: Hey, wait a minute. You're not walking out on me, are you?
  • Jessie Brown: Not yet.
  • Bert Kalmar: What'd you open the door for?
  • Jessie Brown: Because I'm a nice girl, Mr. Kalmar. And a nice girl always leaves the door open.
  • Bert Kalmar: There hasn't been a good Japanese song for quite awhile. I got something here I thought might work out. I call it, "So long, Oo-long."
  • Bert Kalmar: [singing] Maybe I'm right, maybe I'm wrong, Maybe I'm weak, maybe I'm strong. But nevertheless I'm in love with you...
  • Bert Kalmar: Read a book sometime. It might improve your brain.
  • Bert Kalmar: Look, it's okay to admire my wife; but, would you mind taking your elbow out of my butter.
  • Bert Kalmar: [singing] Three little words, eight little letters, Which simply mean I love you.
  • Bert Kalmar, Harry Ruby: [singing] I wanna be in Tennessee in my Dixie paradise, An angel's voice I hear, I mean my mammy, dear...
  • Harry Ruby: [singing] Hooray for Captain Spaulding, The African Explorer!
  • Bert Kalmar: Did someone call me Schnorrer?
  • Bert Kalmar, Harry Ruby: Hooray, hooray, hooray!
  • Bert Kalmar: I've got a great idea. An opening for the new act. I come out in one, see, I'm a magician.
  • Jessie Brown: Oh, a magician.
  • Bert Kalmar: Yeah! I'm in full dressed suit, medals on my chest, maybe a mustache and a little goatee.
  • Jessie Brown: [sarcastically] Yes, I adore little goatees.
  • Bert Kalmar: Don't fool around with that goose. He's vicious!
  • Harry Ruby: Well, they usually are.
  • Bert Kalmar, Harry Ruby: [singing] Lawdy, hear my plea, Make me what I wanna be, A rolling stone just rolling home to my sunny Tennessee.
  • Bert Kalmar: What are you gaping at?
  • Harry Ruby: I'm not gaping.
  • Terry Lordel: Snooky rehearsed me in it.
  • Bert Kalmar: Snooky?
  • Terry Lordel: Snooky! This is Snooky.
  • Bert Kalmar: Hi ya, Snooky!
  • Harry Ruby: Aw, she calls me Snooky.
  • Terry Lordel: Isn't he sweet. Aw, I could eat him up! Rrrrrr!
  • Terry Lordel: Light me, please?
  • Bert Kalmar: I beg your pardon?
  • Terry Lordel: Light me.
  • Bert Kalmar: Oh, yes, of course. Sure.
  • [lights Terry's cigarette]
  • Jessie Brown Kalmar: I still think Harry's in love.
  • Bert Kalmar: Don't be silly. Just because a fella writes a romantic tune that doesn't mean he has to be Beethoven.

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