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Arlene Dahl, Ann Miller, and Red Skelton in Watch the Birdie (1950)

Leon Ames: Grantland D. Farns

Watch the Birdie

Leon Ames credited as playing...

Grantland D. Farns

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Quotes3

  • Mr. Hugh Shanway: Naturally, Mr. Farns, the bank will want my report before granting the completion loan; I imagine that money's rather important to you.
  • Grantland D. Farns: Important? Without that money, we can't finish this project. You know that as well as we do, and a bad report from you might force Miss Corlane to sell out, probably at a big sacrifice.
  • Mr. Hugh Shanway: You do work for Miss Corlane, don't you?
  • Grantland D. Farns: Well, Mr. Shanway, I guess I'm like every other smart man in the world: I really work for me.
  • Mr. Hugh Shanway: [horn honks] Isn't that your boss now?
  • Grantland D. Farns: [car pulls up] You finish looking around, I'll see you later, buy you a drink.
  • Mr. Hugh Shanway: A drink might be a good idea.
  • Grantland D. Farns: We have to drink a toast to my favorite subject: money.
  • Grantland D. Farns: Now, here's an example: supposing the bank thought that some of the lumber we used was green and unseasoned.
  • Mr. Hugh Shanway: Just for the sake of argument, making no promises, put that into words.
  • Grantland D. Farns: Well, you can get yourself $10,000 cash by having your report show green lumber, bad concrete; anything that will delay the bank from making the final loan.
  • Mr. Hugh Shanway: Ten thousand?
  • Grantland D. Farns: Ten, and ten more when Miss Corlane loses the place to some friends of mine
  • Mr. Hugh Shanway: I can't say you didn't put it into words.
  • Grantland D. Farns: I'll put it into money anytime you say.
  • Mr. Hugh Shanway: No time like this afternoon.
  • [Farns and Shanway walk away from the site, unaware that a camera has just filmed their conversation]
  • Mrs. Shanway: it is my privilege to turn the first spadeful of earth of the second unit of Lucky Vista.
  • [the crowd applauds as Mrs. Shanway hands the silver shovel to Miss Lucky Vista]
  • Grantland D. Farns: Lucia, why don't you sell out so I can get some sleep?
  • Lucia Corlane: You better start taking sleeping tablets, because I'm going to finish this project myself.
  • Mrs. Shanway: In honored memory of that estimable, that foresighted, that public spirited individual, the late lamented Cornelius Schuyler Corlane, whose lifelong dream was the completion of this project.
  • [Miss Lucky Vists hands the shovel to Mrs. Shanway, who uses it to break the ground; the crowd applauds]
  • Mrs. Shanway: I hereby dedicate this ceremonial moment to Mr. Corlane's daughter, who will carry on the work: Miss Lucia Corlane!
  • Lucia Corlane: Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. They told me that a girl couldn't carry on this project; that's all I needed to hear. We're having a big turkey raffle at 4:00, I hope you will all participate. Turkeys are courtesy of the Lenard-Vulty turkey ranch, oh and here they come now.

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