Pamela Britton: Mrs. Shanway

Watch the Birdie

Mrs. Shanway

Mrs. Shanway: it is my privilege to turn the first spadeful of earth of the second unit of Lucky Vista.
[the crowd applauds as Mrs. Shanway hands the silver shovel to Miss Lucky Vista]
Grantland D. Farns: Lucia, why don't you sell out so I can get some sleep?
Lucia Corlane: You better start taking sleeping tablets, because I'm going to finish this project myself.
Mrs. Shanway: In honored memory of that estimable, that foresighted, that public spirited individual, the late lamented Cornelius Schuyler Corlane, whose lifelong dream was the completion of this project.
[Miss Lucky Vists hands the shovel to Mrs. Shanway, who uses it to break the ground; the crowd applauds]
Mrs. Shanway: I hereby dedicate this ceremonial moment to Mr. Corlane's daughter, who will carry on the work: Miss Lucia Corlane!
Lucia Corlane: Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. They told me that a girl couldn't carry on this project; that's all I needed to hear. We're having a big turkey raffle at 4:00, I hope you will all participate. Turkeys are courtesy of the Lenard-Vulty turkey ranch, oh and here they come now.

Mrs. Shanway: [from the film] It is my privilege to turn the first spadeful of earth
[the video portion of the film abruptly changes from Mrs. Shanway to a turkey with Mrs. Shanway's voice due to a film error]
Mrs. Shanway: of the second unit of Lucky Vista...
Mrs. Shanway: Why, that's my speech! That horrible turkey is making my speech!
Rusty Cammeron: Well, Mrs. Shanway, it's not the film's fault, it's- it's that projector.
Movie Projectionist: Nothing wrong with my projector!
Rusty Cammeron: Why, there must be, we didn't shoot anything like...
Mrs. Shanway: [the film continues] In honored memory of that estimable, that foresighted, that public spirited industrialist, the late lamented Cornelius -
[the audio switches to a turkey gobbling]
Mrs. Shanway: [Miss Lucky Vista quietly laughs to herself] Oh! That's the most humiliating thing I've ever seen! You stop this picture at once!
Mr. Hugh Shanway: Me? I didn't have anything to do with it!

Miss Lucky Vista: [Miss Lucky Vista runs into Mr. Shanway's arms] Oh, why Mr. Shanway, why I had no idea you were so strong.
Mr. Hugh Shanway: I wouldn't be surprised if you weren't the prettiest girl I ever saw.
Miss Lucky Vista: You shouldn't say that, you're a married man.
Mr. Hugh Shanway: Let's forget about the old battle-ax.
Mrs. Shanway: Ohh! Ohh!
Lucia Corlane: Please turn it off.
[the film ends and the lights go on]
Mrs. Shanway: Hugh Shanway, you worm! You viper!
Mr. Hugh Shanway: But honey, it...
Mrs. Shanway: "Old battle-ax", huh? You know very well I'm only 29!
Mr. Hugh Shanway: Honey, use some sense, that film's all mixed up. You know you didn't talk like a turkey to those people.
Mrs. Shanway: You didn't talk like a married man to that skin tomato!
Mr. Hugh Shanway: Oh honey, that dialogue was from another scene.
Mrs. Shanway: And as for you trying to steal my husband, I ought to have you arrested for petty larceny!
Miss Lucky Vista: Well what is she -
[Mrs. Shanway pushes Miss Lucky Vista down into a chair and leaves]
Miss Lucky Vista: I don't know why she's so jealous of me, I'm not jealous of her!