Jerry Colonna credited as playing...
March Hare
- Mad Hatter: Would you like a little more tea?
- Alice: Well, I haven't had any yet, so I can't very well take more.
- March Hare: Ah, you mean you can't very well take less.
- Mad Hatter: Yes. You can always take more than nothing.
- [after they have restrained the Dormouse]
- Mad Hatter: Ah thank goodness! Those are the things that upset me!
- March Hare: See all the trouble you started?
- Alice: But I didn't think...
- March Hare: Ah, that's just it. If you don't think, then you shouldn't talk.
- Mad Hatter: Why is a raven like a writing desk?
- Alice: Riddles? Now let me see... why is a raven like a writing desk?
- Mad Hatter: I beg your pardon?
- Alice: Why is a raven like a writing desk?
- Mad Hatter: [alarmed] Why is a what?
- March Hare: Careful, she's stark ravin' mad!
- Alice: But it's your silly riddle. You just said...
- Mad Hatter: Easy, don't get excited!
- March Hare: How about a nice cup of tea?
- Alice: "Have a cup of tea," indeed! Well I'm sorry, but I just haven't the time!
- King of Hearts: What do you know about this unfortunate affair?
- March Hare: Nothing.
- Queen of Hearts: Nothing whatever?
- March Hare: Nothing whatever!
- Queen of Hearts: THAT'S VERY IMPORTANT! Jury, write that down!
- Alice: I'm sorry I interrupted your birthday party. Thank you.
- March Hare: Birthday? My dear child, this is NOT a birthday party.
- Mad Hatter: Of course not. This is an unbirthday party.
- Alice: I was sitting on the riverbank with uh... with you know who...
- Mad Hatter: I DO?
- [chuckles]
- Alice: I mean my C-A-T.
- Mad Hatter: Teeeea?
- March Hare: [slices a tea cup in half] Just half a cup, if you don't mind.
- Alice: Well, it all started when I was sitting on the river bank with Dinah.
- March Hare: Very interesting - Who's Dinah?
- [Pants lasciviously]
- Alice: Oh, Dinah's my cat. You see...
- Dormouse: Cat? CAT!
- March Hare: Start at the beginning.
- Mad Hatter: Yes, yes. And when you come to the end...
- [chuckles]
- Mad Hatter: STOP. See?
- Alice: [turning down an offer for a cup of tea] I'm sorry, but I just haven't the time!
- March Hare: The time! The time! Who's got the time?
- Mad Hatter: What's the matter my dear, don't you care for tea?
- Alice: Why, yes. I'm very fond of tea.
- March Hare: If you don't care for tea, you could at least make polite conversation!
- Alice: Unbirthday? I'm sorry, but I don't quite understand.
- March Hare: It's very simple. Now, thirty days has Septem -No. wait... An unbirthday, if you have a birthday, then you -
- [laughs]
- March Hare: She doesn't know what an unbirthday is.