Lucille Ball credited as playing...
Lucy Ricardo
- Lucy Ricardo: How much do you want to bet?
- Fred Mertz: Ten dollars.
- Ethel Mertz: Well what's the matter with twenty dollars?
- Ricky Ricardo: What's the matter with thirty dollars?
- Lucy Ricardo: What's the matter with fifty dollars?
- Fred Mertz: What was the matter with ten dollars?
- Lucy Ricardo: This whole thing is Ricky's fault.
- Ricky Ricardo: MY FAULT?
- Lucy Ricardo: Yeah, if you hadn't have left Cuba to come to America, we wouldn't have gotten married and we never would've come to Switzerland in the first place.
- Ricky Ricardo: This whole thing is my fault. Something I said that started this whole mess.
- Lucy Ricardo: What's that?
- Ricky Ricardo: "I do."
- Lucy Ricardo: Hey, Ethel. Guess what Ricky got me!
- Ethel Mertz: Um... let's see. A hat? A new dress?
- Lucy Ricardo: Oh Ethel better! Think about what every woman wants from her husband!
- Ethel Mertz: A divorce?
- [When Ethel doesn't return to California hotel suite]
- Fred Mertz: Let's just hope for the best.
- Lucy Ricardo: Don't worry, Fred, Ethel'll come back.
- Fred Mertz: I said let's hope for the BEST.
- Ricky Ricardo: I don't like that tone. You are thinking again.
- Lucy Ricardo: There's no law about me going to Romanov's. Perhaps maybe stopping by your table and...
- Ricky Ricardo: Lucy, if I so much as see your face at Romanov's, I'm gonna wrap you up in brown paper and mail you back to New York. And that's an ultimatum.
- Ethel Mertz: An ultimatum? I'm not surprised.
- Lucy Ricardo: I am. I didn't think he knew how to pronounce it.
- Ricky Ricardo: [sees pancakes on his plate] Hey! Tortillas!
- Lucy Ricardo: [sarcastically] Yeah. I made them out of Aunt Jemima Tortilla Mix.
- Ricky Ricardo: Oh, I keep forgetting here in America you call them Flap Cakes.
- Lucy Ricardo: Come again?
- Ricky Ricardo: Hot Jacks?
- Lucy Ricardo: You were closer with tortillas. They are Hot Cakes!
- Ricky Ricardo: Oh!
- [tastes some]
- Ricky Ricardo: No, these are Cold Cakes.
- Ricky Ricardo: [with heavy accent] I won't switch apartments. Understand?
- Lucy Ricardo: Yes.
- Ricky Ricardo: What did I say?
- Lucy Ricardo: "I wun't swish aparments".
- Lucy Ricardo: [a large woman has just sat on Lucy] Madam, it doesn't seem to be getting through to you, but this seat is taken.
- Lucy Ricardo: [Lucy gets caught spying on the neighbors] I was, uh... bird-watching!
- Ricky Ricardo: Bird-watching?
- Lucy Ricardo: Uh, yeah! Do you know that there's a yellow-bellied woodpecker on our lawn?
- Ricky Ricardo: No, but I know that there's a red-headed cuckoo in the living room.
- [while Lucy is trying out the new mind reading act at Ricky's club:]
- Mindreader's assistant: What is your date of birth?
- Lucy Ricardo: August 6th.
- Mindreader's assistant: August 6th what?
- Lucy Ricardo: August 6th period.
- Ethel Mertz: There's lots of things you're good at.
- Lucy Ricardo: Like what?
- Ethel Mertz: Well, you're awfully good at... uh... You've always been great at...
- Lucy Ricardo: Those are the same ones Ricky came up with.
- Lucy Ricardo: If some other woman were to take Fred away from you, you'd be singing a different tune, too.
- Ethel Mertz: Yeah, "Happy Days Are Here Again".
- Lucy Ricardo: I wish there were a place to sit where we could see both sides.
- Bus Driver: There is.
- Lucy Ricardo: Where?
- Bus Driver: I can strap you to the front of the bus.
- Lucy Ricardo: Well.
- Ricky Ricardo: I can't afford it.
- Lucy Ricardo: Those must have been the first English words you learned.
- Ethel Mertz: What are you writing about?
- Lucy Ricardo: I'm writing about things I know.
- Ethel Mertz: That won't be a novel that will be a short story
- Ricky Ricardo: We've got to use our brains.
- Lucy Ricardo: Well, let's see...
- Ricky Ricardo: You stay out of this.