Robert Walker: Bruno Antony

Strangers on a Train

Bruno Antony

Bruno Anthony: Don't worry, I'm not going to shoot you, Mr. Haines. It might disturb Mother.

Mrs. Anthony: Well, I do hope you've forgotten about that silly little plan of yours.
Bruno Anthony: Which one?
Mrs. Anthony: About blowing up the White House.
Bruno Anthony: Oh, Ma, I was only fooling. Besides, what would the President say?
Mrs. Anthony: You're a naughty boy, Bruno.

Mrs. Anthony: Come see my painting.
[walks into next room]
Mrs. Anthony: Bruno, I do wish you would take up painting. It's such a soothing pastime.
Bruno Anthony: [prolonged laugh] Oh, Mother, you're wonderful. That's the old boy, alright. That's Father.
Mrs. Anthony: Is it? Oh. I was trying to paint Saint Francis.

Bruno Anthony: Everyone has somebody that they want to put out of the way. Oh now surely, Madam, you're not going to tell me that there hasn't been a time that you didn't want to dispose of someone. Your husband, for instance?

Mrs. Cunningham: You know, I read of a case once. I think it would be a wonderful idea! I can take him out in the car, and when we get to a very lonely spot, knock him on the head with a hammer, pour gasoline over him and over the car, and set the whole thing ablaze!
[giggles]
Bruno Anthony: [scowls] And have to walk all the way home? Oh, no.
Mrs. Cunningham: [meek] No? Oh...
Bruno Anthony: No, no. I have the best way, and the best tools.
[raises hands]
Bruno Anthony: Simple, silent, and quick - the silent part being the most important. Let me show you what I mean. You don't mind if I borrow your neck for a moment, do you?
Mrs. Cunningham: [simpers] Well... if it's not for long!

Guy Haines: You crazy maniac! Would you please get out of here and leave me alone?
Bruno Anthony: But Guy... I like you.
[offended, Guy punches Bruno in the face]

Guy Haines: I don't think you know what you want.
Bruno Anthony: Well, I want to do something, everything. You know, I've got a theory - that you should do everything before you die.

Bruno Anthony: Sure, I went to college. I got kicked out of three of them. Drinking and gambling. Not like you, huh? All right, so I'm a bum.
Guy Haines: Who said you were?
Bruno Anthony: My father. He *hates* me. With all the money he's got, he thinks that I ought to catch the 8-5 bus every morning, punch a time clock somewhere and work my way up selling *paint* or something. Now, what do you think of a character like that?
Guy Haines: Well, I think possibly...
Bruno Anthony: Yes. I hate him too.

Bruno Anthony: Have you ever driven a car blindfolded at 150 miles an hour?
Guy Haines: Not lately.
Bruno Anthony: I did. I flew on a jet plane too. Man, that's a thrill! Almost blew the sawdust out of my head. And, I'm going to make a reservation on the first rocket to the moon.

Bruno Anthony: There I go again. Too friendly. It always happens. I meet somebody who I like and admire and I open my mouth too much.

Bruno Anthony: That reminds me of a *wonderful* idea I had once. I used to put myself to sleep at night - figuring it out. Now, let's say that - that you'd like to get rid of your wife.
Guy Haines: That's a morbid thought.
Bruno Anthony: Oh, no, no, no, no. Just suppose. Let's say you had a very good reason.
Guy Haines: No, let's - let's not say...
Bruno Anthony: No, no! Let's say. Now, you'd be afraid to kill her. You'd get caught. And what would trip you up? The motive. Ah. Now here's my idea.
Guy Haines: I'm afraid I haven't time to listen, Bruno.
Bruno Anthony: Listen, it's so simple, too. Two fellows meet accidentally, like you and me. No connection between them at all. Never saw each other before. Each one has somebody he'd like to get rid of. So they swap murders.
Guy Haines: Swap murders?
Bruno Anthony: Each fellow does the other fellow's murder. Then there's nothing to connect them. Each one has murdered a total stranger. Like you do my murder and I do yours.

Bruno Anthony: What did you say her name was? Your wife's?
Guy Haines: Miriam.
Bruno Anthony: Miram, that's it. Miriam Joyce Haines. I suppose she - played around a lot, huh?
Guy Haines: Skip it, Bruno. It's kind of painful for a man to discover he's been a chump.

Bruno Anthony: It must be pretty exciting to be so important.
Guy Haines: A tennis player isn't so important.
Bruno Anthony: Oh, but people who do things are important. Now, me, I - I never seem to do anything.