A Girl in Every Port

The racehorse in A GIRL IN EVERY PORT isn't the only thing that's lame. The plot, scripting, pacing and every other facet of this film follow suit. Even the title is misleading, as the ship never sails anywhere, and the only girl involved to any great extent is a stunningly moronic Marie Wilson. This film proves that labored, unfunny "comedies" were being produced long before the current spate of mindless garbage began spewing from our television and movie screens. The characters in this film all appear to have IQ's somewhere in the single digit range. It is indeed sad to see so many talented actors tangled up in this unfortunate yawner. Avoid this film at every opportunity.

Groucho Marx and William Bendix deserve much better material than what they are given here. A bad script with unfunny jokes gives these two talents nothing to work with. Why they ever agreed to do this film is one of the great mysteries of Hollywood!

Benny Linn (Groucho Marx) and dim-witted Tim Dunnovan (William Bendix) are navy sailor buddies. Tim gets conned into buying a lame race horse and Benny is ordered to fix it. The horse has a twin and wacky scheme ensues. Only it gets more and more complicated.

Groucho Marx and William Bendix seem to be a good comedic pairing. They do need better writing and more banter to elevate the comedy. It feels like a missed opportunity. The premise is stupid but I'm willing to go with it for a silly comedy. The problem is that the silliness promises a lot but rarely delivers. It has a couple of fun moments but it's not enough.

For fans of both Groucho Marx and William Bendix, A Girl In Every Port will give some good moments for fans of both. But as a comedy team the two have no real chemistry between them.

I'm sure that Howard Hughes running RKO at the time must have thought these two were very funny so why not get a film property for both. For those who asked how Bendix and Marx could have been in this film you don't need to be a genius to figure it out. Howard Hughes could write checks and make offers impossible to refuse.

The guys are a pair of aged sailors in Uncle Sam's navy and Bendix is left a racehorse, one that's consistently running out of the money. But he's got a twin that's stakes race quality and so the plot begins.

Marie Wilson is at her airhead best and both guys are panting hot and heavy. But she prefers Don DeFore who loves the sport of kings. And in the end he prefers her to cold society fish Dee Hartford.

Also trying to exploit the twin horses are shady trainer Gene Lockhart, shady jockey George E. Stone, and gangster Teddy Hart. They all get their little bits, a chance to strut their stuff.

Like in A Day At The Races which if memory serves Groucho Marx was also in, there's the climatic big race. I'm still trying to wonder where they got a jockey outfit for Bendix. More important how could his horse win with that kind of weight being carried? Secretariat couldn't have handled it.

A Girl In Every Port is a passably amusing comedy, fans of the leads should like it.

"A Girl In Every Port" is the story of two navy buddies who are stuck with a bum horse and try with all of their brilliance to turn a buck in the end.

Although not a great comedy by any means, "A Girl In Every Port" still shines in its own right. We are able, once we acknowledge that this is a vehicle for Groucho, to disregard any technical flaws and view it on its primary aspects: acting and scripting. In terms of acting, this is the intersection of three type-cast performers at the height of their type. Groucho Marx, older than we all remember, had just begun "You Bet Your Life," and was beginning to establish himself as a solo performer. His wise-guy persona, without the foils of his brothers, stands up well on its own. Marie Wilson plays her part as spot on as ever. She is a trite as the "dumb blonde," but she is just so good at it that we can forgive the cliché and embrace the goofiness. Finally, William Bendix plays the dumb but lovable tough that we will always remember him as. Mix up these caricatures with a script full of one-liners in three varieties and we have successful lightness. Bendix and Wilson are able to be dumb together, but, of course, in their own way, and the naïveté of their characters is wonderful against the poison that Groucho Marx brings to the screen. The jokes are wicked, mostly, and the story, although confused, unintelligent, and played out, is decent enough to string along the performances of two great B-listers and one master of comedy.